Where am I?

[Gennifer]

I thought of titling this thread Wishing, Hoping, Dreading. I am trying to figure out how to deal with all that is going through my head--a wish to come out, to find out once and for all that I am a transexual (or not), fear of what both of those would mean, and nearly constant thoughts about what all of my feelings about gender mean--and an overall feeling of fatigue. I am tired and kind of don't know where to turn. I have tried therapy in the past, and spent way too much money four years ago on psychiatrist, until I realized that was going nowhere. I don't know whether to talk to another therapist, try to find a group, or what. As I said, I am just tired. I know I need to take things a day at a time.

I don't want anyone reading this to think the worst, that I am so depressed that I cannot function. That is not the case. And, I am not going to do anything rash. But, I don't feel like there are many places where I can vent like this, and I appreciate that I can. Thanks for listening.

[LeannL]

Gennifer,
I would suggest that you talk with a professional (therapist of some sort). You didn't say whether or not the psychiatrist you did see specialized in gender issues or not. Either way, you need to find another and find one that does specialize. I have seen one who does and it makes a big difference. You might want to ask here if someone has had experience with a therapist near where you live. I found mine by looking on the net for support groups and found someone they worked with.

Good luck,
Leann

[tanyalynn51]

I second Leann. It is worth it if you can find a therapist who specializes in gender issues.:iagree:

[Gennifer]

Leann,

Thanks. Your advice is helpful. I do need to talk with someone, and I need to talk to someone who specializes in gender issues. The psychiatrist I saw did not.

Once again, thanks.

[Danni Bear]

Gennifer,

Leann is very correct in reccomending you seek help with a gender therapist. That is not all, just venting on here helps calm and answers can be found to questions. many of us have had the same ones and can help you sort out them. Our answers may not always be what you want to hear but they will be honest as best we can.

danni

[danielleb]

I think the more important question you may want to ask yourself is: Where do you want to be?
A therapist will only guide you and help you reach a mental state that you desire. It can't hurt to at least be honest with yourself about where and what you want to be first.
The main reason I say this is because of your dreading comment in the title. If you allow yourself to fear the future and never face it, you will spend far too much time in agony over this.

[Melody Moore]

:iagree: Focus on the future and what you will do to solve these issues, rather than the
fear & the agony that you have been suffering because this is exactly how paranoia is born.

You will find the fears you have right now you have created for yourself.
Human Beings naturally fear what they don't know or don't understand.

This can also be said for anyone else in your life or you might encounter that might have issues with you about you transitioning - these people will only fear what you are doing because they don't understand you or the condition that you suffer from. But knowledge is real power and with it you will overcome any obstacles or fears that stand in your way.

So take the time to learn all you can about your condition will help you to overcome your fears. I spent 2 years just researching and learning all I could about my condition & what I could do to to rectify the problems before I started my transition. So the first lesson of the day is realising that you are NOT ALONE - Most of us have been in this exact same place as you in the past & this is how most of us overcome our issues.

Good Luck :hugs:

[Teri Jean]

A good gender therapist can help you so much more than the shrinks as they have been educated in the fild and have earned their stripes so to speak. I would suggest trying that route, it worked for me and I had some simular thoughts.

[Aprilrain]

I have met a few people now who have not had good luck with psychiatrist even the ones supposedly versed in gender issues. My personal experience with one was unhelpful. My experience with a therapist however has been great. A support group is a great place to find out who is good in your area, also you may find it helpful to be around others who are or have gone through what your feeling.