Do any of you seemingly have no reason for your crossdressing?

[Melissa Jill]

I have seen countless number of girls on here saying how when they were a child they would play with dolls, or play with the other girls, or played dress up with a friend or just by themselves.
But I remember nothing of the sort for myself, I don't remember anything but a normal boy childhood until I was 15-16 when I got an interest with wearing some womens stuff, which at the time I thought was a sexual thing.
Its utterly baffeling.
Even now, I have very few female friends (which sucks).

[Gina X]

Although I've been a CD for over 60 years, I always had a girlfriend from when I was a very small child and apart from two marriages that I broke up over their infidelity ( I could really pick them in those days ). When I eventually selled down with my wife we had a very give and take arrangement where everything was split down the middle that included housework, cash, childcare, DIY, banking (joint), buying clothes and literally everything else you can think of but it took me thirty years and a couple of mistakes to find this girl and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was bossy, opinionated, loving and generous, and a true soulmate, she accepted me for what I am, so don't give up hope there is somebody for everyone and when you do find her don't ever let her go..................................

[Melissa Jill]

Although I've been a CD for over 60 years, I always had a girlfriend from when I was a very small child and apart from two marriages that I broke up over their infidelity ( I could really pick them in those days ). When I eventually selled down with my wife we had a very give and take arrangement where everything was split down the middle that included housework, cash, childcare, DIY, banking (joint), buying clothes and literally everything else you can think of but it took me thirty years and a couple of mistakes to find this girl and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was bossy, opinionated, loving and generous, and a true soulmate, she accepted me for what I am, so don't give up hope there is somebody for everyone and when you do find her don't ever let her go..................................

I appreciate your concern for me, but it had nothing to do with the topic at hand...

[Cynthia Anne]

Sorry! My older sister dressed me when I was four! I am more comfortable talking to females then guys, so I have more female friends!!

[Sarah Jane]

But I remember nothing of the sort for myself, I don't remember anything but a normal boy childhood until I was 15-16 when I got an interest with wearing some womens stuff, which at the time I thought was a sexual thing.
Its utterly baffeling.
Even now, I have very few female friends (which sucks).

I didn't dress up as a kid either, but I remember that I sometimes would have liked to. I also used to be a tiny bit jealous of the girls in school with their nice dresses and later the makeup and the sexy shoes. I would have preferred to be a girl for as long as I can remember, but it was never such a strong desire as most(?) TS describe. It's only been about a year since I started to wear female clothes at home.

[Tina B.]

Melissa, we are all different, I'm one of those that started very young, and I have always had as many or more female friends as male. I was always more comfortable as a child around the women in the family, than the men. So I am just what your talking about. But then look around here and you will find those that started late in life, I mean like in there 50's and things. Some here are very macho in there male persona, rebuilding cars, fighting wars and all that cool boy stuff, but if you feel anywhere as good as I do when you are dressed, then you really are no different inside than I am, and just as much a cross dresser, although I may lean a little heavier to wards the TS side.
For some it is just a sexual thing, then it's called a fetish, so what, your still a cross dresser, but it would be nice if you could make a few female friends, they make great friends. We all get here through different paths, but it's not the differences that bring us here, it's what we share in common.
Tina B
Tina B.

[docrobbysherry]

At 15/16, Melissa, the only thing I wanted to do with womens clothes, was take them OFF my GF!

I never had a single thot about trying them on myself until AFTER age 50!

[Being Paige]

I know that when I was under 10 that i did all the regular boy stuff but I also played with the girls, playing with dolls and barbies. I remember having so much fun, I enjoyed that just as much or more then playing with the boys sat times.

[BRANDYJ]

I did not play with dolls or play with the girls when I was young. OK, I admit... I got roped into playing house with the neighborhood girls every now and then. But I was always the husband.
I was the typical cowboy or Indian complete with guns, boots and forts to protect. I played with my big Tonka toy trucks, dozers and cranes. I played baseball, foot ball and hunted and fished. Yep I was all boy in most regards from as early as I can remember and through my teens. However, I discovered I liked to dress in woman's clothes around age 10-11. But not once did even that take away my masculine interests in guy things to do. That includes my early interest in girls and how they made me feel sexually. Nope, none of that girly stuff for this man to be. In fact, my interests in crossdressing evolved slowly and I found self acceptance at around age 30 or so. It did not take up much of my time until I came out to my then girlfriend and with her help I finally began to understand that I was not alone and I slowly came to accept myself. It was rare that I even dressed in anything feminine through out my teens and early adulthood. And I think it was mostly sexual in those days. Today it is more emotional and who I have grown to be. I am happy being a man and happy that I am a cross dresser. I would not change a thing. There is no clear cut evidents that early childhood play with dolls and such is what brings out the CD in us.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I for one, have always struggled with the concept of a reason for our being CD/TGs. I have seen many describe the childhood events you described as a reason for them being this way. I find that difficult to get my head around.
Those things may have been a catalyst for releasing the desire to dress, but to say it's the reason is stretching it IMO.
In the grand scheme of life the fact is that we will prolly never know the reason why, my personal belief is that it is something wired in our brains in the womb and it may never be fully realized for many years and it may not be brought out by any significant occurrence.

It is a very human thing to always have a want or need to know the reason why, but i think after reading so many posts by the folks here describing their beliefs, that some are overthinking their childhoods in trying to come to grips with it all.

I liken it to the ol' chicken and egg debate, in that there might be something you see around you (little girls in their dresses) that triggers a desire, but that in itself does not constitute a reason why.

Just my nickels worth,
Cassie

[Gina X]

I appreciate your concern for me, but it had nothing to do with the topic at hand...

Sorry I went a bit over the top but I was referring to your lack of female friends .............

[Ms Mira]

There's seemingly no reason for a lot of things that happen in the world. People, and life, and the world, are absurd. You won't find absolute reasons that you can completely grasp very often.

Also: your post doesn't really describe a lack of "reasons": we're all different.

[DebsUK]

For me it's a long history. Playing with Mam's tights when I was maybe 4 years old was my first CDing experience, then a few more after that as a child. Then realising that there were men who had operations to become women (specifically Renee Richards the tennis player), reading stories in the tabloid press (invariably prurient exposes of "perverts" or "freaks) that there were men who dressed as women. Then as a teenager it all took off when I decided I wanted to try the complete outfit beyond just tights and a lick of makeup, always with a strong element of shame but the desire was always there. It wasn't until one Sunday night when I was printing off my thesis in the lab I was working that I first found the internet and the loads of others that felt like me, and further more that it was actually possible to actually buy my own clothes nd makeup and even (shock horror!) a wig. This was the point, realising that I was not alone and, more to the point, I could actually do things for myself and actually present in public (in the right circumstances at least) as a woman. It doesn't sound much, but to me it was a real Road to Damascus moment, happening just months before I moved to another city and got the chance to put this into action. My life would have taken a very diferent path if I'd discovered this concept earlier. I suppose that's what they mean by becoming empowered and emancipated LOL

[Stephanie47]

For me, I grew up in a totally boy environment, play baseball, play football, play basketball, play roller hockey (no ice! Karen would say I was deprived), collect baseball cards, etc. When I did put on one of my mother's slips, it was for the feel of the fabric. There was no sexual component to it. There was no guilt. I had no sexuality at that early age. Later, when the hormones were raging I tried on her slips, bras, panties, stockings, girdles and dresses. The makeup application was almost clownish. I felt shame. I was conflicted. I thought I was a 'fag.' Fifty years later I still do not have it figured out, and, I stopped trying. Now, I enjoy the moment!

[Karren H]

I really don't know why I'm driven to crossdress. And after decades of torment I really don't care why. Its not like finding an answer to an unanswerable question will change what I do going forward. So why ever look. It would be a waste of time. Time that seems that much more precious as each year goes by. So don't know.... Don't care to know...

[Kate Simmons]

For myself the feelings came first(when I was around 12) and then the clothes and the yearning to want to look like a girl Melissa as I felt to have those feelings I needed to "look" the part.:)

[sissystephanie]

I started wearing my older sisters panties when I was somewhere between 6 and 7. Been crossdressing virtually ever since, simply because I like the fit, feel , and look of feminine clothes. Never have wanted to be a female, just to dress like one! BTW,I have been CD'ing for over 70 years, had a wife who knew I CD'ed for almost 50 years, and have lots of female friends as well as male ones.

[Loni]

i grew up boy, but always wanted to be in a dress.

is this a reason? i do not know it is just part of me, so i live it as best as i can.
even today was out last night, so left the nails on, put on some skinny jeans and a top went out side and started working on the jeep. popped more nails off putting on the jeans then while working the wrenches and power tools.

strange sight lovely "pinkish" (revlon's pink frost) nails and grease on my fingers.

.

[suchacutie]

It all happened in a few minutes. Ok, there was preparation (purchases) for the moment, but dressing in some lingerie and heels for my wife clicked some switch in both of us simultaneously. She wanted to buy me a dress. That initial conversation was intense and lasted for a couple of days. Talks about how I understood what women were saying when other men just shook their heads saying, "I'll never understand women". Talks about being a girl, then trying on a dress, then realizing there really was something there, a feminine self that had been there forever, affecting everything. We needed to know who she is and will be. We named her and started her on the road to as separate a life as possible to allow us all to find out who she really is. I was 55 at the time.

You just never know.

tina

[LitaKelley]

I do because I am... I can't think of it any other way

[Inna]

Hey Melissa, some of us do exhibit femininity out-rite, I suppose that number is very low, I would stick my neck out and predict 1-3% of all transgender are fully aware of their body being totally wrong at birth. Unfortunately for the rest of us it is a life long process of finally coming to terms and what is obvious. It took me 40 years of denial to come, through countless tears, to understand and embrace femininity and I must still say, "IT IS AN ON GOING PROCESS". Growing up I too played with boy toyz, well, if playing with stuffed beanie toys is girls stuff than I am guilty as well. But over all I fought the feminine in me and got through puberty, and manned up( if I only truly knew:-(. Now the regret is ever so strong, half the life time lost, well, not entirely, but over all the experience I often dreamed about is gone forever with youth way back in the distance. I am learning what it is to be me, funny it sounds but it is entirely true. My soul has always been feminine, and have I listened, I would have lived my life in truth. But I haven't and the lie has conquered half of my life. It is never too late to embrace the truth and live it to the fullest. What ever you feel, deep down inside, is the truth. Live it, embrace it, no matter the consequences, be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop asking your self for the explanation but feel what it is to be you, no one has the right to tell you how you should be, you are the sole owner of your destiny, do what feels wholesome!!

[abigailf]

There is a relationship between hormones and being a TG (so I have read). There are three times in a persons life when their hormones change; birth, adolescence (teens) and after mid-life (50ish) (as I was told by my therapist).

Your hormones probably changed when you reached adolescence and that change brought on your drive/desire. Same for me, I started in my teens.

[Melissa Jill]

There is a relationship between hormones and being a TG (so I have read). There are three times in a persons life when their hormones change; birth, adolescence (teens) and after mid-life (50ish) (as I was told by my therapist).

Your hormones probably changed when you reached adolescence and that change brought on your drive/desire. Same for me, I started in my teens.

That is very interesting. Has there ever been any cases where the person has just lost interest in crossdressing alltogether because of one of these hormone changes? I love my crossdressing, I would hate to lose interest in it forever.

[Gocaps14]

I can't remember the exact age I put on panties but it was before I really knew hat to do once I had them on. And I kept on doing it to this day.

[sara1985]

My first experience didn't happen until I was in my 20's. I was in the service and shopping at the px. I was walking through the womens department to get to the electronics department and I saw that dress. I had to look at it and then I had to buy it. Ever since then I've tried to deny Sara but she is part of me.

[Charise52]

I started at age six... I wanted a cowboy outfit... and for some reason my mom got me a cowgirl outfit... denim skirt, matching vest, hat, gloves cap gun holster... I wore the skirt and vest every day to the store and every place we went... for months... I loved how it felt... then i started school and had to wear guy stuff... and that never felt right... now I wear women's clothes exclusively because of the fit and the feel... I wear skirts and dresses at home... I have worn skirts in public, yet I had to do my hair and makeup... so in public now I wear jeans and sweaters, jeans and tops, and shorts and tops... and a cami and panty underneath... sometimes a bra...

[Sarah Doepner]

I think you've described my situation in your post title. I've fussed over the "Why" part of my crossdressing for years now. I have all kinds of theories, but no way to prove any of them outright. I've probably spent just as much time attempting to come up with reasons why it would be in my best interest to stop. Neither of those efforts provide any actual benefit in the long run. I've had plenty of friends who are female, but my best friends (other than my wife) are male. I didn't play with dolls or do girly activities much when growing up, but then I didn't have sisters, close cousins or real close girl friends as a child, so there is no data there to work with. I know I had the desire before puberty, so it's not a response only to the physical pleasure that was matched with crossdressing as a teen.

Regardless of what I think the reasons are, the crossdressing is embedded in my personality, wrapped up tight and, as far as I can tell, it's not going away. It's kind of come down to the the "don't know and don't care" side of the question. It kind of comes down to I'd prefer not to go crazy and miss my living my life as I play the question game. Instead, I'll go with poker philosophy and suggest it's best that I "Play the hand I was dealt and enjoy the game."

[abigailf]

That is very interesting. Has there ever been any cases where the person has just lost interest in crossdressing alltogether because of one of these hormone changes? I love my crossdressing, I would hate to lose interest in it forever.

I was told it could happen, but it is rare. I'll let you know in a few years when I turn 50 if anything changes :)

[diannecourtney]

You know I am somewhat like Sara1985, I saw a beautiful woman and just wanted to be her. Started with heels and hose and went up the torso
And girl, i just love the results.

[Princess29]

I'm trying to work this out too. I usually either feel absolutely nothing at all or stress when I dress and go out and I never dress at home, despite the fact that I can dress whenever I want.
I can never find wigs large enough to fit me and basically everything I do, I do it by myself which I'm extremely sick of so all up, I cant work out why this is so important to me.
Last year, I kind was all over the place with how I felt about the issue and I havent dressed at all for about 6 months now yet, I'm aiming to go to Diva's Las Vegas.
I cant work it out

[JustAlex]

I'm not sure I understand the question. Are you talking about a personal reason for crossdressing or a cause for crossdressing?

Either way, I don't think there's an answer. In my case, I started way before puberty. I'm sure I had no reason, at least not a rational explanation of my desire to wear as a girl. I could have tried my father's underwear but that idea never crossed my mind while my mother's panties looked appealing to me. I wore pillow cases as dresses (a that age, they fit me well).
My mother never dressed me as a girl, there were no girl's clothes in the house, I have no sisters. If there was a cause, it's buried so deep in my memories that I can't (and couldn't) find it. Maybe it was something that happened when I was too young to remember.

I really don't care much about it. But by reading this forum and exchanging experiences with others, I see that there's rarely a cause, at least a defined one like in the cases of those who were dresses as girls at some point in their childhoods. For the others I can see two different trends, those who fell into the clothes and tried them (the majority) and those who actively sought them. Either way, the thought was there in their minds, how did that happen?

Again, it's an interesting academic discussion but one that most likely is not going to be answered ever.

[diannecourtney]

You know I pondered this question for a day and finally realized the answer. I always wanted to be a girl and was thwarted in the search until I found cding.

[Wendy_Marie]

I guess that I fall under that category of always have had the feeling. One of my earliest memories is of crying when my older sister (She was 15 at the time so I was 8.) told me that I would never have boobs like she was developing. I ran and cried to my Mom and then Dad had a talk with me.
I guess that is one of those things I never really got over. When I was in High School I had many more Female Friends than I did male friends...however most all of the girls fell mostly under the friend category...I was the shoulder they would come to and cry on when they needed it.

[Charise52]

I just do it because the clothes fit well and give a flattering look, and feel so good...

[Chickhe]

I never figured out why, but I beleive maybe there is a two part mix to it. Maybe we find the transformation facinating. Then we are told it is wrong so we compensate by trying to suppress it, yet still have a curiosity about it and then we ying and yang until we finally decide we have to go full out to answer the questions we have. I think through the whole process we pick up other baggage like shyness, depression, compulsions and are relectant to take on a girlfriend because she might reject us and it goes on and on...till we're old and wiser. Anyhow, there are some people who feel like women, some who just like to look life women and some who feel both ways. You will never answer 'why', just face your fears, do what you need to do now to find out what CDing means to you...this way you won't go through life being unhappy because you missed out on life because you were scared to explore. We live in a time that allows you to do it for the most part... just 10-20 years ago it was not possible.

[janec]

For me it all started in my early teens with mothers underwear and clp on ear rings then it was on and off then when i got marrried the first time i would put my ex's clothes on when she was at work she didnt know then later i used to wear her underwear which we both enjoyed and now my current wife knows but to this day i do not know why i do it just that i enjoy it sorry went on a bit

[Jamiegirl1]

I didn't start dressing until after I was married,in my early thirties I just got the desire to wear panties,never wore my wife's.then went on from there,dresses,high heels,etc.....I am 52 now and have only had a wig for a little over a year now.I now have three...For me the older I get,the more I want to dress and look more like a woman.Even want to be with men more now.......My wife doesn't know about any of this....I didn't have these feelings when I was young.....But, I always felt different, like I wasn't totally comfortable with guys,like fitting in I guess...I didn't have alot of friends,male or female......I still struggle with my feelings,but am learning to enjoy this CDing ,sometimes I feel it is a curse,and sometimes I feel blessed............I love being dressed as a woman,feeling like a woman,just wish life wasn't so complicated and I could come out to everyone.......

[Melissa Rose]

I never knew the reason and was only passingly curious about it. Once I completely stopped thinking or worrying about it, I was much happier. I cannot change the past. I can only control the way I react to what is happening now. I love being a girl and totally embrace it as being part of who and what I am. Knowing the reason why would probably not change a thing in the way I am living my life today. So I don't care about a reason, if there is one. Some may need or want to know, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I'm not one who needs to know. Ignorance is bliss in my case.

[charlie]

Hello Mellisa!
As had been said, we are all different. I started wearing my mothers and sisters stuff when I was 10. I stopped when I was 15 and had my first real girlfriend. Then in college at the age of 19 I wore some of my girlfriends stuff when she wasn't around. Ten years went by and I started wearing my wife's clothes for two years. I stopped for 17 years and now at the age of 60 am going out en fem to the mall, movies and bars. Why do I start and stop? Why is it so powerful now in my later years? I just do not know. Genderbending is certainly in control when it starts though.

[Lainie]

Pretty mysterious for me as well. Experimented with mom's girdles pre-teen, tried pantyhose 15-20 years later. Looked in the mirror once when I was high on reefer after 30 and saw--to my surprrise--that I was a woman (although I didn't look different). So really one month in a decade until mid-40s. Then longing for more opportunity, engaging in a sexual fetish, sneaking lingerie & rarely more. Finally a shock in late 40s the first time I wore pantyhose with a dress & felt--normal!
Now just over 60 with a closet full of clothes, & me still not out to friends. But I go out dressed. Now sitting in a cafe in skirt, hose, heels, blouse, purse, ready to drive down the road to supper ...
And then change into girl's jeans/polo/trainers, man's pullover & sportcoat, for my evening meeting. I plan that no one will notice that I am en femme.
Happy to hear an explanation...

[Mona]

When I was young I new I was different, didn't know why, then one day there was this drawer with all these pretty clothes...

[Allisa]

All male childhood even though the house was all female,mother and 3 sisters all older,lost my father when I was 9,reached puberty and found girls were fun,than one day...I wanted to have fun too.I have one or two female friends (they don't know). I don't know exactly when but no pill for the cure for me,femme can be fun.I think they sometime wonder about me but never say anything.

[lynnlmb]

i was 12 an started taking an wearing my sisters panties

[Janis Edwards]

I believe I was an average kid until I was about 8 when my inner girl feelings began. I really don't know why or what triggered my feminine thoughts but they were and still are very strong. I started to dress when I was about 10 or 11. Often when I dress I have no sexual thoughts it is just an irresistible urge to look and feel like a woman.

[Misti]

Abigailf wrote (#22) “There is a relationship between hormones and being a TG (so I have read). There are three times in a persons life when their hormones change; birth, adolescence (teens) and after mid-life (50ish) (as I was told by my therapist).”
All right! Now, let’s put this little theory to test and see if Misti fits inside this little box somewhere, OK?

For me it's been: boy-sports/playing war games/cowboys and Indians, bikes, et al. (no sissy girls allowed - 4 younger sisters, you know?); man-to-be (sports, sports, more sports (smoking and girls - the bane of sports)); man-o-war (combat veteran/Whoa, Wow! Found and went insane over all women); man-husband (4 wives, plus 3 daughters from 1st marriage); man-mentor to highly competitive girl's youth fast-pitch softball (introduction to non-judgmentally seeing the lesbian side of things; all this despite having 4 younger sisters, 3 daughters, 4 wives, coaching girl’s softball, and still not understanding “women.” Go figure?); man-o-science (education/inventor because “the Big Fella up above” said, "get out of the sun boy, you're getting way too many bad spots on your body there for your health’s sake!"); man-w/ unfulfilled sex drive (i.e., due to SO’s late-in-life health problems - adore and appreciate all beautiful women even more, though); man-satisfying sex drive through some-times fantasy; man-seeing and fully appreciating lovely “sexy body” potential in self; man-girl (curious to see if “girl” perception was real or imagined, plus “man” perception ditto?); and finally, out of a clear blue sky, girl-part-time-man (see below and profile pic). Whew!
BTW Granted, that's an awful lot ‘a years and water under the bridge, but baby, "Bata Bata, Bing"; 52nd nuclear chain reaction = Wham-Bam-Boom! Girl is born (“Misti” is her name) after donning her “first”, sexy red “tight-fitting” short dress and red high heels during a fully and truly believed, "Once-in-a-lifetime and Done," i.e., let’s "Lookie-See" first-time ever make-over.
FYI that “Girl” is currently exploding like a wild weed (see good “exploding” example at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=InKYvr_a_ak ) that just sprouted up out of nowhere (i.e., redefined as "now here"), or is exploding like a bomb, take your pick; (see good example at Mythbusters: 1,000,000 match bomb! www.youtube.com/watch?v=poV6lc2b070&NR=1 ), plus, of course, trying to explain away other “unexplainable ‘girlie-induced’ phenomena” by replying insanely to a thread like this.

Wow! Such a world. I agree with what others here in the forum have previously written that if I would have known about this infinite joy and exquisite girl-founded pleasure earlier in life, I'd have done it long, Long, LONG, LONNGGG ago. Sigh! To think, “What might have been?”

Lots more to come, ya'll (that's Texan for, “all of you all”) can count on it. To extract a quote from my forum intro speech: “Houston, we [do indeed] have a problem!” The big difference here is that, Misti’s found out that “it’s” completely solvable, now, and Abigailf’s Therapist’s explanation (#22) above was a big help in better understanding “it,” as well.

Happy, Happy, HAPPY to be here as "e pluribus Unum", girls. Ta! Ta! :battingeyelashes: