When you get counselling for TG issues, did it help?

[Jay Cee]

I've got a lot of fear right now. Big time fear. In regards to my CD'ing, and in regards to my potentially being a TS. It's kept me from seeking out counselling. I also don't want to hurt my gf, even though she knows that there is a possibility that I may want to transition. She's going through hell right now with family issues, and changing careers. Oh, and she wants to have kids. I don't want to add to her stress.

When you went for counselling, was it immediately helpful? Did a light come on, and suddenly you knew what to do, and what course to follow? Did you get advice on how to tell your SO? What happens in counselling? Does it take a long time to get gender orientation figured out?

Thanks

Jay Cee

[msniki48]

I've got a lot of fear right now. Big time fear. In regards to my CD'ing, and in regards to my potentially being a TS. It's kept me from seeking out counselling. I also don't want to hurt my gf, even though she knows that there is a possibility that I may want to transition. She's going through hell right now with family issues, and changing careers. Oh, and she wants to have kids. I don't want to add to her stress.

When you went for counselling, was it immediately helpful? Did a light come on, and suddenly you knew what to do, and what course to follow? Did you get advice on how to tell your SO? What happens in counselling? Does it take a long time to get gender orientation figured out?

Thanks

Jay Cee

Jaycee, i have done well with counseling [ over 7 yrs] sometimes you need perpective. i found out i am TG, but i am not transitioning for various life reasons. my therapist helped me to find some ballance in this duality. and if things change in my life, where i decide to transition, she will help me move forward. She was also helpful with my SO. we are now married for 2 1/2 yrs and very happy.

i highly recomend talking to a professional


hugs

[Sarasometimes]

The key to getting help is finding a therapist who actually understands gender Identity disorders! We run the spectrum.Some herre are going to become women, or wish to. Others simply dress the therapist need to really have an understanding. I went to about 4 before finding a good group and then i realized i had been training therapists while they billed me for their time. Not a good thing. Good luck. If you aren't having an exchange of ideas and being asked some questions they may be unskilled.

[Gerrijerry]

I have to agree find the correct therapist is important. As for being TS or CD is not really the issue. It is learning to accept yourself no matter what you are and dealling with it correctly. Then moving on. It is not one or two visits and you have an answer. It takes time, the amount will depend on you and the therapist. The answer is only possible if you want to find an answer and accept what that answer is. As for others that is always a different issue. Yes it will effect others how much depends on who it is and the relationship to you. There is no one answer to any of this.

[BillieJoEllen]

I've had three different therapists and none of them helped me one iota. In fairness, I was forced to seek therapy. First by my parents and then by my wife. They all wanted me 'cured'. One other thing, none of the therapists were really competent to handle a situation such as mine. I realize that there are very good people out there that can take care of most of your needs.

[SuzanneBender]

Jay Cee I can relate to your fear. We want to be loved and we certainly don't want to hurt those that we love, but then we realize we can't really be loved until we are known. There are lots of issues at work here for you and a good therapist can help you discover the answers that lie within you. I wouldn't wait. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean that you are destined to join the local ladies axillary. In fact it may mean the exact opposite or it could mean that you find peace with being a mid-pather.

[sometimes_miss]

I didn't get much help from my early visits with therapists; and later on, pretty much what they did was help me accept that what I'm doing isn't such a horrible thing, despite what the majority of the population thinks. That alone was worth the cost. Like others have mentioned, it's very important to go to a therapist that specializes in gender problems. Otherwise, you'll probably be teaching them more than they'll be helping you. As far as whether you are TS or not, it would help to examine the fundamental differences in how males and females think and communicate before declaring yourself TS or not. I can't remember all the books with information I've read on it; it numbers in the hundreds. A few simple ones can be by Allan and Barbara Pease (available on amazon among other places used, for pennies), they'll give you a pretty good idea of which side of the fence your brain is on before you decide outright whether you are really male or female.

[Christinedreamer]

3 therapy sessions and I was convinced I did not want more. 125.00 per session in the mid '80s. The first 2, it was quite apparent that the therapist was trying hard to convince me to transition even though I was fairly sure I did not have that desire. The 3rd session was with a different therapist. She was an older (60ish) woman and a amputee (leg) still using wooden crutches. After 10 minutes of talking about me, she switched the subject to her and her experiences with love, loneliness, being an amputee etc. Not a good investment on my part.

As I have aged and the body is starting to let me know very frequently, my desires to actually partake of the CDing have waned substantially. About the only thing I enjoy now is sleeping/relaxing in a peignoir. I do enjoy -with a great amount of envy- looking at those in the TG world who are capable, comfortable in their own skin, very attractive and enjoying the world outside. Basically, wishing I could walk a while in their shoes.

[MichelleP]

I started counseling not too long ago. Thus far it has not been very helpful in my opinion. I believe that my therapist is less informed about TG issues than I am. That said, I am looking forward to perhaps finding another therapist with a bit more understanding. I think finding the right therapist is probably the most important thing.

[kimdl93]

yes. The key moment was when my therapist helped me understand that 1) its not a crime, 2) its perfectly alright to enjoy dressing, and 3) my value as a person isn't diminished because I like dressing up.