Is it possible for this to happen?

[Matt2Marissa]

My therapist, who I actually started seeing for another issue (which makes for a great cover up to see him or call him) and told him about this one and then was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder in addition to the original issue. Anyway, I have this conversation a lot with him is that I just cannot decide which I would rather do: Find the right girl, get married, settle down, and start a family OR go through the transition. I feel as if I want both equally. I'm a devout Christian and while I believe from studying scripture is that while its okay to go through with the transition, there's no clarity on would God still consider me male or would I be female in His eyes. While, I am one of the few Christians who believe gays and lesbians have the right to marry because I think its a basic human right to marry who you want to be with, however I do not support the action because it goes against my beliefs as a Christian (if that makes any sense).
The only way I can see it happening if I go through the transition and then meet and marry a FTM.
I want both the transition and the life, but is it likely or even alone possible that I can have both?

[juligirl1984]

well I kinda think if you go the family route you will end up in the same spot as you are now but just down the road with a family.
I think god has no view on the sex. I think we are all a energy and god is the powerful energy feeding the living and everything else. (who knows though lol). Also god coulda intended for you to be a female but you know how genetics and DNA stuff works... just one little mishap screws around with it all. I can't see god watching every little thing in everyone. but I do think he loves you and me and will not shun us or anything. I actually feel closer to god when I'm Juli.
I think you can have what you want if you seek it hard enough. why would it have to be a FTM though? would another Genetic guy be the same for you? or a Genetic woman? it all gets kinda confusing to me haha. nothing against FTM though.

[Bree-asaurus]

I think you need to take another look at what you believe in.

[Steph.TS]

I think you need to take another look at what you believe in.
what do you mean? I haven't had hormones or any surgery, but I have had similar thoughts. will my views or thoughts change after I go on hormones? perhaps, but I need to grow in my understanding of gender, but my belief in Christianity is strong.

[Rianna Humble]

I just cannot decide which I would rather do: Find the right girl, get married, settle down, and start a family OR go through the transition. I feel as if I want both equally.

This is a fundamental question that only you can answer. I know that there are people with Gender Dysphoria who manage to live as their natal gender but if you decide that this can work for you, you would owe it to a future wife to be very open about your condition. In medical terms this is a chronic condition because it will not spontaneously go away and very many people who try to live without treating the condition find that it is progressive.

I believe that you need to ask yourself whether it would be right to marry someone without first letting them know that you have a medical condition which could get to the stage where you are too uncomfortable in your natal gender to continue without transition.


I'm a devout Christian and while I believe from studying scripture is that while its okay to go through with the transition, there's no clarity on would God still consider me male or would I be female in His eyes.

As a christian, don't you believe that your god is just and always knows what you are going through? If that is so, why would he not treat you as the woman he made you want to be? Would that not be horribly unjust?


While, I am one of the few Christians who believe gays and lesbians have the right to marry because I think its a basic human right to marry who you want to be with, however I do not support the action because it goes against my beliefs as a Christian (if that makes any sense).
The only way I can see it happening if I go through the transition and then meet and marry a FTM.

This looks to me like you are confusing gender and sexuality. If you complete your transition then marry a man that will be a heterosexual relationship. It makes no difference whether the man is cisgender or FtM.


I want both the transition and the life, but is it likely or even alone possible that I can have both?

There are two ways that I can see you having both:

1 You put your transition on hold whilst you raise a family and in doing so complicate matters by introducing a larger number of people who will have to deal with the emotional fall-out when you do eventually transition.

2 You transition, then marry and adopt children.

[Stephanie Anne]

Sound like you are trapped in a conflict between beliefs and your fear you are betraying those beliefs.

There is no way your god would allow you to suffer for who you are. Your doubt is born from the minds of people and not the religion you hold dear. Transsexuality is not a disease to be cured and does not just magically go away. It is who you are and the more you shame yourself against this, the worse your emotional state will deteriorate. It's not fair to marry and raise a family if the other person does not accept that they will not be retaining the man they married. IF you find someone who accepts that then start a family. If not yo will just end up hurting each other.

[Faith_G]

God will consider you his child. Jesus took care of all our sins, real and imagined, past and future. We live under grace, focusing on sin is to ignore and disrespect the gift we've been given.

PM me if you want my number.

[AnnaCalliope]

Just don't hold onto the mistaken belief that a lot of CD/TGs have, that getting married and having kids will make it go away. It doesn't. You may lose the feeling for a while, but one day, maybe months or even years down the road, it will come back. And then you'll have 2 kids, a wife, and a neighborhood full of friends that all know you as Matt, and becoming Marissa will be that much harder.

[Bree-asaurus]

I mean that your beliefs are getting in the way of who you are. You're conflicted because of them when you shouldn't be. You shouldn't have to wonder if you're going to go to hell because of the way you were born.

YOU need to grow as a person and realize that god isn't going to condemn you to hell because he made you this way. Live your life the way you are supposed to, the way that makes you feel like a complete person. All this fire and brimstone because you're gay or trans is just ridiculous. This is one of the parts of religion that I really hate.

EDIT: For the record, I'm a heretic that is going to hell because I'm agnostic, but I totally respect people who believe in god. I just don't understand believing in something so much that it ruins your life or the life of others. Especially when those beliefs are so open to interpretation.

[Inna]

Believe or be the essence of love. I do not expect you to understand at first the difference but if you try you shall see that one isn't like the other. Where mind is involved, it overshadows soul. Our ability to listen to the eternal voice hinges on our ability to tune out our restless mind, which like a wound up radio, shouts loudly and overpowers, soft, quiet voice within your heart. Try it, and become as peaceful as you can, then when everything is still ask one simple question, "am I write being me", answer should come immediately, and if not then you are not ready for it yet. This is the way I receive my day and proceed through maze we call life, every turn and every move is given to me and I roam free along my path. No explanations are needed, for there is no explanation, just embrace of love and truth. Remember baby, you are "perfect" with all your imperfections just the way you are, one step at the time in the direction we do not understand yet can feel is right within our hearts.

[Stephenie S]

Religious Content:

Whoa, sweetie. You are WAY overthinking this. God doesn't care about your sex. God cares about what's in your heart.

God made you just the way you are, hon, and God doesn't make mistakes.

S

[danielleb]

Normally I would stay as far away from religion as possible, being such a volitale subject. I make no effort to be versed in the nuances of pop religion, and as such I'm sure I can't offer much for the original poster (though I suspect there are several others here who can, including Faith_G).

It sounds to me like you are simply hung up in verbage on the marriage debate. If we redifine marriage as a relgious union, used only in religion, and then used "civil union" in all other arenas (gov't, etc.) I'm sure many devoutly opposed religious people would care less about GLBT unions, and in fact many would beleive it to be a human right.

The only difference between what is possible and what isn't is what you will allow yourself to believe or percieve.

For others that may happen upon this thread; Juli kind of opened the door for me here.

I can't understand why people keep listening to the voices of those around us as opposed to ourselves on such a profound subject. If we are to learn from history, we would clearly see that every couple of thousand years a new dominant perception is created that discredits it's predecessor (especially with western culture). Typically these new perceptions are self serving in some manner (self usually referring to the society at the time).


I think we are all a energy and god is the powerful energy feeding the living and everything else.

I recently came across "What the Bleep Do We Know (http://www.whatthebleep.com/)." (sorry I'm late to the party, I've been locked away from the world for a while.) While not really positing anything new to me (aside from introducing me to Dr. Masuru Emoto (http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/e_ome_home.html)), I found it a great collection of introductory ideas on quantum physics and how they relate to our lives. Many of the ideas I thought were well presented, especially in relation for trans people that easily fall into many visual pitfalls.

To me, the main take away is that we as humans are likey to never know everything, and certainly don't now. To beleive in a larger force is at the very essence of human nature. We are all tied to each other, and all that is in the world. If we fail to care for one another, or even ourselves, we disrupt the lives of everyone and everything else in doing so.

God, or whatever your notion of a greater power is, does not reside in a building, a tree, a mountain, or any singular thing. He/she/it/they exist in everything at once, but most importantly within us all.:hugs:

[Tia808]

Beautifully said, Faith.