Some success maybe?

[DebsUK]

I've been starting to try and push the boundaries of how androgynous I can appear in everyday life with a longer, softer hairstyle and subtle makeup (or more like "invisible really"). This morning I had a meeting with a girl I'm acting as mentor at a local high school. While I was waiting for her to go into a classroom to tell her tutor she was away for the next hour there were a lot of other kids milling around I heard one boy say about me "Is that a boy or a girl?" Now, while I am short and slight and wear "unisex" (I hate that term) glasses, today I had no makeup on and my hair isn't what I'd call feminine or overtly androgynous yet. This teenage boy may just have been being an obnoxious teenage boy, but I must be doing something that's working :)This has happened to me a couple of times in maybe 20 years, but the very first time it's the response I am actually looking for. Wonder how it will start to go down elsewhere when I get pierced ears and have a little enhancing makeup (though this isn't an environment I think it's appropriate to really push the envelope because I'm there as a role model and not to make some point about gender).

[Sarah Doepner]

Debbie,

I'm thinking that whatever you do, you will need to be consistent across the board. The other concern is to be patient in your progress. We can look in the mirror and see that we look the same today as we did last week, but there are people who are important in our lives who only see us occasionally. If you make 4 or 5 small changes that over a week seem very subtle, someone who hasn't seen you recently will only see one big change in your appearance.

And you are correct in not pushing the look while doing your mentoring work. Good luck.

[DebsUK]

As I say, today I wasn't trying at all today. I only push it when I'm out casually, not too much at work. I see what you mean though, small changes added together make a big difference to people who only see you infrequently, but c'est la vie