"That's a man"

[StaceyJane]

This afternoon I decided to stop by Dress Barn to see if they had any specials.

When I walked in the store a woman and her young daughter were leaving.
As they walked by I could hear the girl say to her mom "That's a man"

She couldn't have been talking about me, right?

[vikki2020]

You go out, you'll hear it somewhere, sometime! No biggie, just smile!:)

[JulieC]

"Oh child, define 'man'?"

[Persephone]

Sorry to hear about that, Stacey Jane! Pre-teens and teens have particularly sharp detectors, perhaps because they are going through their own sexual awareness stage, and they aren't shy about saying something.

So, it happens. It always is a good idea to take a good look in the mirror, just to see if you can figure out what she may have detected, but once you've done that, just go right on being you. And if you see the same kid again, just smile.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[RADER]

It is true, Be ware of the young teen, or pre-teen. I think they have a sense of radar in them that
can spot one of us no mater how well we are presenting ourselves. So just smile and walk away; Better
days are coming.

Rader

[MichelleP]

The teens always have their eyes on other girls and women (including us). They are looking (without really knowing that they are doing it) for all those things; social ques, mannerisms, style, etc. that comprise the whole of womanhood. If ever there were more discerning eyes on TG/CDs I don't know of any. In my experience it has been best to smile and use it as a teaching moment. Hopefully the teen will someday see that being a woman means, in part, to be beautiful and confident in yourself no matter your gender.

Smiles make the world a better place.

[sissystephanie]

Stacey, since I don't wear makeup or a wig when I go out dressed enfemme, I am definitely a man!! I have had the same experience you had more than once, and not always from a child!! I just don't pay much attention, since I feel that what I wear is my business and nobody elses! At least as long as I am decent, which i always am!!

[Stephanie Anne]

This afternoon I decided to stop by Dress Barn to see if they had any specials.

When I walked in the store a woman and her young daughter were leaving.
As they walked by I could hear the girl say to her mom "That's a man"

She couldn't have been talking about me, right?

Yup. They were talking about you. It's just a fact of life that some people are born with no brains. Totally devoid of anything but hollow cavities in their heads. Unfortunately these people manage to breed.

[Melissa Jill]

Yup. They were talking about you. It's just a fact of life that some people are born with no brains. Totally devoid of anything but hollow cavities in their heads. Unfortunately these people manage to breed.

She was a kid! Bit harsh?

[eluuzion]

"The face of a child says everything, especially the mouth part of the face."
-Jack Handy

It seems we are always telling people to "quit beating around the bush, and just say what they mean"

...then we run into some little kid...:heehee:

:love:

[Melissa Rose]

Unfortunately, these incidents happen. All you can do is brush it off and don't let it stop you. I agree teenage girls and young women tend to read you the fastest and easiest; however, I have also found young women as a group are the most accepting and friendly. I have met some nice and fun GGs while out.


Yup. They were talking about you. It's just a fact of life that some people are born with no brains. Totally devoid of anything but hollow cavities in their heads. Unfortunately these people manage to breed.
I don't see how this incident means the daughter had no brains. The daughter was just relating what appeared to be a fact to her mother. What is wrong with her noticing and mentioning it? It could have been a positive learning experience for her. At least she didn't shout it out and point like in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or make some kind of unkind or insulting remark for all to hear. Calling the daughter brainless and unfit to "breed" is judgemental and rude. Since most of us are looking for acceptance and tolerance from others, we owe the exact same in return.

[DebsUK]

She was making an observation, not necessarily making a judgement. For all any of us know, her Mum might have explained to her something about CD right after or that she should be more polite and tolerant. OK, I'd not be surprised if not, but it is a possibility

[Debglam]

To quote W.C. Fields: "A man (or woman) never stands so tall as when he (she) stoops to strike a child." Ahh yes. . .:)

[Cassandra Lynn]

I'm not so sure that their powers of perception are all that much greater, but their lack of social graces in speaking out loud about it most definitely are.

Cassie

[dawnmarrie1961]

Stacyjane,
I had something similar happen to me at the local Burger King. I don’t normally eat fast food but on this particular day I was famished so I made an exception to my rule. It’s ok to do that once in a while just so long as it doesn’t become a habit. I was just about to start to eat my meal when a mother and her daughter walked came in the door. The little girl was so cute and happy. She reminded me of when my own daughters were that age. The mother quietly stated to her child that they couldn’t spend too much because she didn’t have much money. The little girl was very well behaved and didn’t raise a fuss about. “That’s ok, Mommy.” She said. The mother ordered a small burger, fries, and drink off the value menu. The daughter happily carried the tray over to the booth behind me. She had a smile on her face that would light up a room.
I looked down at double whopper with cheese, medium fries and apple pie in front of me on the table and suddenly I didn’t feel that hungry anymore.
I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am.
“God bless you.” The mother said as I handed her my tray.
The daughter said a very sweet and polite “Thank You.”
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.

[TGMarla]

She couldn't have been talking about me, right?

No way, right? :battingeyelashes:



Go out

Get read

'specially by kids.

[Stacye Rose]

Very, very few of us get away without being "clocked" occasionaly. Hold your head up, smile, and keep on walking. Ask yourself, was there malice in her statement or was she just suprized? chances are she was merely suprized. No harm intended

[Cynthia Anne]

I can't believe that! Ha! Way back in 1988 on April the first I walked into a Wal-mart fully dressed wearing a dress, heels ect. was getting my ears periced for the second set and a young girl said to her mother, that's a man! I wanted to craw into a hole and hide!

[StaceyJane]

It really didn't bother me that much. Just the first time that happened.

[Chickhe]

The way I see it they just observed something...so what?! It doesn't mean they like or dislike you. It would be nice to pass all the time, but sometimes you get noticed. I believe our attitude should be different. It should be warm polite response and a realisation that we are males dressing up to look female (not talking about identity here...just our physical form) and its okay.

[RebeccaLynne]

Stacyjane,
I was just about to start to eat my meal when a mother and her daughter walked came in the door. The little girl was so cute and happy. She reminded me of when my own daughters were that age. The mother quietly stated to her child that they couldn’t spend too much because she didn’t have much money. The little girl was very well behaved and didn’t raise a fuss about. “That’s ok, Mommy.” She said. The mother ordered a small burger, fries, and drink off the value menu. The daughter happily carried the tray over to the booth behind me. She had a smile on her face that would light up a room.
I looked down at double whopper with cheese, medium fries and apple pie in front of me on the table and suddenly I didn’t feel that hungry anymore.
I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am.
“God bless you.” The mother said as I handed her my tray.
The daughter said a very sweet and polite “Thank You.”
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”

OK, I'm typing through tears...you're a most giving, thoughtful, and sensitive person... "and a little child shall lead rhem"... you've represented us wonderfully...thank you.

[dawnmarrie1961]

you're a most giving, thoughtful, and sensitive person... "and a little child shall lead rhem"... you've represented us wonderfully...thank you.

I have my moments that's all. I don't see myself as being representative of us. I just try to be a good human being. Sometimes I fall short. But thanks for the kind words anyway.

[GirlieAmanda]

I am learning to accept that its part of our life. All of us. Being judged by all of the non enlightened people. If only the kids and teens could grow up in the future accepting TG people as just another minority but still acceptable in society, that would be a great day.

[Fab Karen]

I am learning to accept that its part of our life. All of us. Being judged by all of the non enlightened people. If only the kids and teens could grow up in the future accepting TG people as just another minority but still acceptable in society, that would be a great day.
The more of us being out there, the more that future will come to pass.

[t-girlxsophie]

As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.
A lovely and encouraging story Dawn Marrie,and just goes to show how children learn from their parents.who knows the little girl Stacey Jane came across may have been educated by her mother straight away.we can but hope

Personally when that happens to me,i just look all round the room:eek: as if to say "who are they talking about"silly,but hey it works for me stops me getting too caught up on it

[2SpeedTranny]

Yup. They were talking about you. It's just a fact of life that some people are born with no brains. Totally devoid of anything but hollow cavities in their heads. Unfortunately these people manage to breed.


I'll remember this next time I see you call for more tolerance.

I mean, really?

Presumably, the OP is indeed a man, under the womens' clothing. I'd call that an observant and bright kid, depending on how passable or obvious the OP may be.

I think you're barking up the wrong tree here.

[MsGreen]

Stacyjane,
I had something similar happen to me at the local Burger King. I don’t normally eat fast food but on this particular day I was famished so I made an exception to my rule. It’s ok to do that once in a while just so long as it doesn’t become a habit. I was just about to start to eat my meal when a mother and her daughter walked came in the door. The little girl was so cute and happy. She reminded me of when my own daughters were that age. The mother quietly stated to her child that they couldn’t spend too much because she didn’t have much money. The little girl was very well behaved and didn’t raise a fuss about. “That’s ok, Mommy.” She said. The mother ordered a small burger, fries, and drink off the value menu. The daughter happily carried the tray over to the booth behind me. She had a smile on her face that would light up a room.
I looked down at double whopper with cheese, medium fries and apple pie in front of me on the table and suddenly I didn’t feel that hungry anymore.
I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am.
“God bless you.” The mother said as I handed her my tray.
The daughter said a very sweet and polite “Thank You.”
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.

This is beautiful. Thank you.

[Deborah_UK]

Stacyjane,
I had something similar happen to me at the local Burger King. I don’t normally eat fast food but on this particular day I was famished so I made an exception to my rule. It’s ok to do that once in a while just so long as it doesn’t become a habit. I was just about to start to eat my meal when a mother and her daughter walked came in the door. The little girl was so cute and happy. She reminded me of when my own daughters were that age. The mother quietly stated to her child that they couldn’t spend too much because she didn’t have much money. The little girl was very well behaved and didn’t raise a fuss about. “That’s ok, Mommy.” She said. The mother ordered a small burger, fries, and drink off the value menu. The daughter happily carried the tray over to the booth behind me. She had a smile on her face that would light up a room.
I looked down at double whopper with cheese, medium fries and apple pie in front of me on the table and suddenly I didn’t feel that hungry anymore.
I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am.
“God bless you.” The mother said as I handed her my tray.
The daughter said a very sweet and polite “Thank You.”
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.

That's probably the nicest thing I've read in a long time, thank you :)

[Jonianne]

I enjoy going dressed to botanical gardens, especially during the Christmas season when it is dark and all the Christmas lights. Once, while I was just standing, a child and her mother walked by me and the child said "That's a strange looking man" and the mother said, yes he is. I almost said something, but just let it go. The next day, while it was light, I was doing some volunteer work at the garden and I went by the area where the child and her mother said something. Well it turned out there was a huge "stick" man made of vines right behind where I was standing with a hat and face and all. I am so glad I didn't say anything!

[Gerrijerry]

being perfect and always passing LOL. I have to say that a child is curious and wants to understand what he or she see's that is different then the norm. We all must realize that we are different then the norm at times. The question was to her mom and was appropriate to ask. Stop being so sensitive to anyone at any age trying to understand. There is a big difference with a child asking her mom if you are a man or woman. Than directly being insulted by a person who dislikes you because you are different then they are.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I had a similar embarassing experience. I was in male mode checking out lingerie at a Goodwill store, and an 8-year old boy must have said something to his father about a man shopping for women's underwear. I didn't hear what the boy said, but I did hear the father's response (in an overly loud voice), "Maybe he just likes wearing women's underwear." At first I was shocked and dismayed, but then I got gack to business. I had found this pair of pink polkadot panties and I had to decide if they would fit. I had to leave to catch a flight home.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Stacy, The CD's #1 Rule aways stear clear of teenage girls.

Orchid

[amandamichelle]

"One thing you should make it clear up front that you are a biological male. No body likes to be fooled."
I thought I would post the comment you recently placed on my posting

[StaceyJane]

"One thing you should make it clear up front that you are a biological male. No body likes to be fooled."
I thought I would post the comment you recently placed on my posting

I would think going to a womens business lunch is a little differnt from going to Dress Barn.

But still fair point

P.S. The girl was younger than teen age.

[SuzanneBender]

Stacy kids just innocently call it like they see it. Man or woman who cares you are you and that is what counts.


I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am...
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.
Dawn you are right this is how we change the world not only for the better for us but for the better of everyone.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.

[Tina B.]

This afternoon I decided to stop by Dress Barn to see if they had any specials.

When I walked in the store a woman and her young daughter were leaving.
As they walked by I could hear the girl say to her mom "That's a man"

She couldn't have been talking about me, right?

Please ladies, where does it say this is a teenager, and not a little girl? Where is there anything judgmental in what was said? and where did Stacy show any sign of being distressed about the incident? Did I miss something here? I think some people might be expressing there own fears here! I mean from the eyes of a small child, Was she wrong? If you are going out where young children will be around, you better be ready to handle the truth, it's hard to teach kids not to tell it.
Tina B.

[amandamichelle]

Hi Stacey

Thank you for your gracious response I hope you didnt feel I was trying to be sarcastic

[nikkijo]

no big deel.... my favorite day is shopping along side teens and have them asking themselves is that a girl or guy... if i get that im extatic....

[AlanaBCD]

I just recently had a getting read incident. I was in a mall walking along. I think I am passable if you don't notice... If you look close, it is obvious it is a man in a dress. In the malls around So Cal (probably everywhere) there are a lot of kiosks in the middle of the walkways. There was one that sold body shapers. There was a girl about 17/18 minding the "store". She had some of her girl and boy friends around. They saw me coming and tried to get my attention, and wanted me to stop. The girl was telling me how great this body shaper was even after I was 25 feet away from her kiosk. As I walked by I just smiled, and kept on walking. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how I was being mocked. I didn't care. If you ignore the jeers, it takes away their steam. You are going to get read, deal with it.

[Stephanie Anne]

I'll remember this next time I see you call for more tolerance.

I mean, really?

Presumably, the OP is indeed a man, under the womens' clothing. I'd call that an observant and bright kid, depending on how passable or obvious the OP may be.

I think you're barking up the wrong tree here.

Did you just threaten me? I mean I get giving opinions and firing back but I think threats of harm are a bit over the line, even for this forum.

[BethCD]

Stacyjane,
I had something similar happen to me at the local Burger King. I don’t normally eat fast food but on this particular day I was famished so I made an exception to my rule.. I was just about to start to eat my meal when a mother and her daughter walked came in the door. The little girl was so cute and happy. The mother quietly stated to her child that they couldn’t spend too much because she didn’t have much money. The little girl was very well behaved and didn’t raise a fuss about. “That’s ok, Mommy.” She said. The mother ordered a small burger, fries, and drink off the value menu. The daughter happily carried the tray over to the booth behind me. She had a smile on her face that would light up a room.
I looked down at double whopper with cheese, medium fries and apple pie in front of me on the table and suddenly I didn’t feel that hungry anymore.
I turned around and said, “Excuse me, Maim. I think I ordered too much by mistake. Do you think you and your daughter might want this? I don’t want to have to throw away good food.”
I spoke using my regular male voice, just I always do. For me there is no reason for concealing who and what I am.
“God bless you.” The mother said as I handed her my tray.
The daughter said a very sweet and polite “Thank You.”
As I got up and was just about to leave I heard the child ask her mother “Mommy was she a woman or a man?”
“Never you mind” answered the mother.” That was a nice person.”
What’s the lesson here: As wars are won one battle at a time so too are hearts changed one person at a time.

dawnmarrie1961, It is actions by you like this, that will help us in being recognized and accepted. I got chills when I read the mother's response to her daughter. God bless you and keep up the good work!!:)
Beth

[Paula Siemen]

I would have replied to both of them in my deepst baritone male voice, " Yest I am. Have a nice day." You've been clocked; so what; have some fun with it. Then think about the conversation the mother will have to have with her child back in the car????? The mother will at least admonish the child to not speak so loudly about such things in the future.

I've responded in my male voice many times in awkward situations like that. It goes to show those around that yes, you are a guy in a dress and that you probably are enjoying it and further, that their opinions are not having an effect on you one bit. Just remember to be polite in your male voice. You'd be totally surprised at the effect it has on those who are looking at you quizically.

SO......HAVE A NICE DAY!

[2SpeedTranny]

Did you just threaten me? I mean I get giving opinions and firing back but I think threats of harm are a bit over the line, even for this forum.

Say what???

I called you out for displaying just as much bigotry and intolerance as you condemned. I do believe the word is "hypocrisy."

People have a right to their opinions. Just because you think their opinions are backward does not mean they are subhumans who should be prevented from breeding. But this case was all the more ridiculous because this was simply a little girl who made an observation about the world around her, without a value judgment. Should we have a world in which children are taught to disbelieve their own senses in favor of political correctness? I read that story. It's called "The Emperor's New Clothes."

If you want tolerance and acceptance, try exercising some. It's just one of those virtues, like love, forgiveness, charity -- that are given, not demanded. They aren't always returned, but such is life.

[juno]

It is perhaps a learning moment for the child, right? It's probably good for her to learn that there is more to gender than just male or female.

The important thing is not passing as a woman, but getting respect whether you pass or not. If all crossdressers pass, how will society learn to accept crossdressers?

Juno

[TxKimberly]

I like your attitude about it. After all, it IS going to happen to the vast majority of us. It's kind of hard to fault the young lady either, because all she did was to state an exciting and interesting fact to her mother. Now if she had yelled it out to the store and made a scene, then we could talk about unkind and ignorant people, but I think that she behaved reasonably.

[Jessica_Dillon]

Ah, yes. Just one of those things. It happens every now and then, and has been beaten down here...young girls are always the most scrupulous. Mostly because as they grow, they are becoming aware of others, and in their tween ages, starting to try to figure out what works on them, and therefore scrutinize everyone they see. Especially ever [I]woman[I] they see. I see no reason to feel upset my this though. It happens, and we can always use it as a tool to help us along our way.
Important question StaceyJane...how was Dress Barn and did you find anything good?

[ReineD]

She was making an observation, not necessarily making a judgement. For all any of us know, her Mum might have explained to her something about CD right after or that she should be more polite and tolerant. OK, I'd not be surprised if not, but it is a possibility

It's most definitely a possibility. My younger son and I were at the post office when he was in middle school, and he kept staring at an older TS standing in line next to us. I say TS because she wasn't wearing a bra (it was summer), her breasts were real and well, they looked like other 60-65 year old women's breasts when they don't wear bras ... they sag quite a bit (sorry). She also had long, natural gray hair with male pattern baldness, a masculine looking face but no beard, red nail polish on, but the polish was a week or so old and chipped a bit. She was wearing a tank top, lots of necklaces, dangly earrings, no makeup, and a tie-died krinkly ankle skirt, with generic, androgynous style brown sandal. In other words, she looked very comfortable with who she was, and she certainly wasn't trying to make a fashion statement or impress anyone. You know, the "this is who I am, like it or not" type person who is simply going about her business. :)

Anyway my son was fascinated and he kept staring. I noticed he was staring at someone or something but I couldn't tell who or what it was since he could see her face but I couldn't. Later on when I could see, he whispered, "Is that a man?" I don't know if she heard or not, since the lines were quite close together, but she didn't give any indication that she did. I told my son quietly that we would talk about this later.

Once outside I told him that I thought (but wasn't sure) this person was a M2F transsexual, although she might have been a crossdresser. This began a one hour educational opportunity to explain gender variance to him (both M2F & F2M). And then we went on to discuss sexual variance (all persuasions, as they affect all gender and non-gender variant people). There was a tinge of bigotry in his initial reactions (no doubt from general attitudes at school), but eventually with my help he began to understand that we all are who we are and there is no need to pass judgment on anyone.

Anyway, this son went away a few months later :sad: and in his new school there was a reclusive young boy who didn't seem to have friends. My son saw his name on a school paper eventually and noticed it was a girl's name. He then understood this boy was F2M. He was very much supportive of him when he told me about this, they did become acquainted, and I've got to credit this to the post-office incident and our ensuing conversation.

Kids do stare much more than adults, who have been long taught is is rude to stare, and this is why kids notice birth gender so easily.

[Allisa]

I have never expierenced being read because I have never been out in public per say,but siminarly being of smaller stature and having long hair(shoulder length and longer) as long as I can remember incidents have accured just walking down the street with car horns,cat calls,etc... until they see me from the front and then the embarrassment for them on their faces is priceless and no comment is needed on my part.All of this is while dressed and acting my male self.I have gotten some rather rude stares while window shopping(dreaming)in front of womens clothing stores.Maybe one day soon I will expierence being made while in public and I hope I handle it with class and dignity and a sense of humor as to make my sisters proud and show that even wierdo,pervert sick-o' crossdressers are part of this great human family of ''man".

[Jean Ann S]

Perhaps it was in a way a compliament :
"You looked so good .she could not believe you were really a man

Jean Ann

[StaceyJane]

Important question StaceyJane...how was Dress Barn and did you find anything good?

No, I didn't find anything that day. I wasn't looking to buy anything. I just felt like looking around and maybe trying some things on. I've been to that dress Barn a bunch of times and the ladies know me there. It's the same one that I had my first shopping trip at when I was en drab and the manager picked out some outfits for me to try on.

Thanks everyone for you comments.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Exellent post Dawn Marie.

I had a recent experience of being the object of laughter for teenage girls very recently. While shopping in male mode (as always) I was in the lingerie section looking at nighties.
As I was engrossed in trying to determine if I could fit into a size medium, a group of teenage girls walked by and I could hear them laughing and gigling saying.

"Is he looking at bras, ha, ha! He is looking at bras, ha, ha!" The only thing that went through my mind was "Can I fit into this size medium? Were they just laughing at me? Don't care. You know what I think I can fit into a size medium!" and that was it for that dreaded experience. On a much lighter note the size medium fit perfectly and in the end that's all that really matters.

[Billie Jean]

On about my 5th song of karaoke the other night I took off my heels. There was a group of young people sitting just off the side of the stage. They had been cheering me on or so I thought, but this time one of the men shouted where are your high heels? Then he told me to shake my skirt. I had a hard time not laughing about it. Why should I care I was a man in a dress with a beard. There was a girl sitting at the table next to me and she hugged me and told me that I was a great singer. I think if you let it bother you then you just need to laugh it off. Billie Jean