Slight guilt for skewed priorities

[Pythos]

For a while I have had a tini tiny bit of guilt. That guilt has to do with world events of late.

The War on Terror, The Health care issue, the economic depression, the deaths and destruction by our military in foreign nations, my own economic condition, and of late, the fights for democracy in foreign nations like Egypt and now Iran.

and then here I am whining about not having the freedom to wear certain styles that appeal to me.

What a frivolous thing to pay attention to in this day and age.

There are far more important things for people to pay attention to other than the way I dress. So why is it such a big deal?

There are days though I do feel kinda guilty putting as much attention toward the advancement of fashion freedom and freedom of self expression.

anyone else ever get that tiny bit of guilt for this or similar?

[JamieTG]

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because I'm TG or because I don't enjoy my job and then I look at my situation compared to others. I'm so lucky in that I have excellent health and a secure job when so many other people are struggling just to get by. I do feel guilty afterward when I feel sorry for myself.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

That actually was one of the factors that led to my coming out. I realized there was so much more to worry about than how I dress so why not just wear what I wanted and not let it be a big deal to me.

[t-girlxsophie]

Rather than feel guilty about World Affairs,Sometimes I feel guilty that I prattle on about how Im in such a good place with my Dressing,my marriage and my life,When I know there is so many others on here who are not so lucky

[LilSissyStevie]

I believe it's called "taking yourself too seriously." It's impossible for one person to change the world and everyone wants to change it differently. That's why there is so much conflict. If you just concentrate on changing yourself, you are doing your "fair share" of making the world a better place and you're not stealing anyone else's share.

[Julogden]

I don't consider the freedom to be ourselves to be a frivolous thing. It's a basic human right.

That's not to say that going on and on about what color bloomers one is wearing isn't a bit frivolous, but the basic issue of gender expression is certainly not frivolous. :-)

And we can work on the other issues while dressing too, it's not a one-or-the-other sort of thing.

Carol

[DebsUK]

Yes, but more about say buying a new pair of shoes that I'm barely going to get much wear out of, or a lipstick I don't like too much when I see it on in the cold light of day, when people are in much more poor financial straits than me

[suzy1]

You’re just being human Pythos. Join the club. Are you beating yourself up again? Stop it.

Love Suzy

[Avana]

i think change always begins from within, and anytime anyone can make their body and mind a better place in which to dwell, it ultimately (collectively) makes the world a better place.

I didn't ask for my gender issues to be such an important part of my life, but that's how life happens, and i feel like every time day i go out since i've been open 24/7, and helping all other transgender people out by giving the world a chance to know just one more TG person at a time, so they can see me and others as a human being and not a sex object or caricature, etc. I think the more TG people can get out there, the less rigid gender roles will become, the less established misogyny and masculine privilege will become - less hate, less us-versus-them, etc. I never expected this to be my 'battleground' so to speak, but it has become that - i've learned so much about myself and my relationship with society.

So yeah.. its tempting to worry about large complex social issues and never be able to do anything about it, but it's certainly within every person's individual capabilities to listen to his or her inner voice and simply by following his or her heart, collectively improve external living conditions.

Don't deny what's important to you individually because you think that what is important to other people is better. If reforming the Afghan prison system, for example, is truly your passion, you'll eventually end up doing that, if you just let yourself go with it. Everyone has their own calling.

[Kate Simmons]

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter much my friend. We all have our own personal grid programs to fulfill. How they interface with the main program varies as much as life itself.:)

[sissystephanie]

Suzy and Denise both gave excellent answers. It is your life! That life belongs only to you, and maybe to your S.O. or wife, but not to the world. I dress to please myself, not the rest of the world. Sure I want to look nice, but if I like it that is what counts!! If I cannot affect something in a way that counts, I don't worry about it!!

[sandra-leigh]

I already work long hours on non-profit scientific research, and even more hours volunteering my technical services; together I'm already putting in 15-ish hours a day (including weekends) towards helping to improve society.

If I take one evening a month to go to my meeting, or if I wander in to some clothing stores every couple of weeks, then it is no more than is needed to balance my life. I need some inner source of comfort and rejuvination to keep from burning out on what I'm already doing to help others. Did I need that lipstick? Well... yes.

[Michelle James]

I suppressed or at least tried to for the sake of others, ie. family for most of my 56 years. Only recently did I give in to it. More like embrace it. At some point we have to think about ourselves and do what we want or need. I realized that I didn't want to be on my death bed wishing I had. And who says we can't obsess about all the things we can't control like the economy, foreign policy, Obama Care, and on and on and still be the best LGBT we can. Like they say "Be all you can be" or something. I'm sorry if that all sounds a little narcissistic, it's just how I feel.

[docrobbysherry]

And, the fact that species r disappearing HOURLY from the earth at an EVER INCREASING RATE!?:doh:

And, that the way humans r multiplying and destroying the planet, our great grandchildren may be the LAST humans in history!?:sad:

Is THAT what's bothering u, Bunky?:straightface:

Well then, u need a motto to live by/for, Pythos! I suggest u adopt the one Monty Python coined in, The Life of Brian. :brolleyes: (As I was recently reminded by Az Azeel!):)

" Look on the brite side of life!":devil: ( None of us will be around to see the END, after all!)
It has a catchy tune, also!:heehee:

[Sophie86]

My life is more important to me than what's happening in the Middle East. The latter is only important to me in so far as it may have the potential to affect my life.

[Sally24]

We have very little power over the big things. What can you do about terrorism? What we do have is the ability to work a little on smaller more personal issues. If you feel guilty about your concerns being petty then try doing a good deed for the day. Make someone else happy. Isn't that about the most important thing in the world?

[sandra-leigh]

We have very little power over the big things. What can you do about terrorism?

Already a lot of us are deemed to be demon promoters of moral corruption, if not for our "deviant sexual morals", then for the fact that we are "seductresses" "tempting decent men" to sin by our bossums and skirts that are dangerously short (i.e., above the ankle.) And that's just by people within USA, let alone what people on other continents might think of us.

So if you want to do your part to reduce terrorism, "homegrown" or otherwise, be sure to Dress Ugly.

[amielts]

Human rights are human rights. The right of gender identity expression is no less significant than any other human right in the world.

[Kittie]

I don't think you should feel guilty. Most of the world has its' priorities wrong.
Football players payed millions to kick a ball around a piece of grass with a glorified fence around it that cost millions to build. Consumer industries selling clothes and products for thousands that everyone just loves spending money on. People worried to the point of suicide about how they feel about themselves and their bodies and paying thousands just to lose a bit of weight or increase a cup size. All this and more while people are losing homes, families and livelihoods through war or natural disasters. Welcome to east meets west. Most of the world does not feel guilty for things worse than not being able to wear what they want so why should you? xxx

[eluuzion]

hiya Pythos,

Here are couple opportunities to make a real contribution to worthy causes...

Sasquatch Militia
http://zapatopi.net/bsa/militia/
Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/
:)

Self-guilt?
Well, the only claim I stake in that non-productive process is probably that...
“I enjoy the comedy technique of self-deprecation but I’m not very good at it.” lol
Aside from that, I rarely ruminate about my past or feel guilty about my behavior and actions. I consider consequences and outcomes to the best of my ability before I act, then I live with outcomes of the decisions I make.

I also “choose my battles” in life. I find most issues are resolvable to my satisfaction without perceiving them as “battles” to be “won” or “lost”. However, in the rare instance that my family or I am unjustly “attacked” and I am unavoidable forced into a “battle”...I play to win.

I do not consider lobbying for a ’cause’ via identifying myself as a “target” to be the most effective strategy when attempting to elicit change. The greatest opportunities for achieving strides toward a goal of “eliciting change” exist in the times prior to your opposition formally identifying you as their adversary and thus, going to “battle” with you. But that is just my approach.

Don’t beat yourself up too much over neglecting those “big worldly issues” of life that appear more “worthy” of attention than your personal interests.
There is little hope of you having any impact on change in the world without the approval of this group...

The Bilderberg Group
http://www.nndb.com/org/514/000042388/

Bilderberg 2010 attendees list
http://www.somethingmustbreak.net/id147.htm

:love:

[Pythos]

Not really beating myself up.

I guess I was relating to those people that get upity at you for having messed up priorities. Years ago my mother said I had messed up priorities because I put getting my pilot's certificate and the necessary certificates to get into flying for a career, ahead of obtaining a 4 year college degree (you know, those degrees that are just about as useful these days as a high school diploma). To be honest this set up a roadblock in my life that has delayed me getting into the flying part of aviation, thanks to getting nearly no financial help and having to work full time so I could afford the lessons, while going to college...which I got some fianancial assistance with.

I was kinda relating to that kind of attitude when referring to our situation. I have actually seen a similar attitude as my mother's even on this forum. They think that your desire to dress how you like when you like and so on is so unimportant, and against their own standards, they will set up roadblocks to prevent you from not doing that which they don't like.

The "correct" priority is to get a job, support your family and yourself. But in order to do this, you must fall into the mainstream, and follow social norms, otherwise you are an outsider. We fall outside of the social norms.

Now you can be one that says "forget social norms, I will dress decently for the job, and I will just kick ass at my job", but this is often not good enough. You life is made rough and often times there are insurmountable roadblocks put up to make you fail. Or you just get fired for "lack of performance"

Someone here mentioned many of those examples of our culture's messed up priorities. The poster mentioned sports and how important those are to soo many people. I recall the tremendous celebration that was done in San Francisco when the Giants returned after winning the World Series. This celebration basically knocked the city out, and messed up the public transit, and when it was over there was millions of dollars of litter and damage left behind. The week before there was an election...the turn out was abysmal.

Messed up priorities?

I like the attitude of there is no need to give up on the little priorities and pay attention to the big ones. I wish more people would do that.