Men and their vans?!

[Kittie]

So out I tottered into town today to get some groceries, walking along in my favourite boots, with supermassive black hole playing away in my ears and I walk past some traffic lights where a trio of men are sat in their van. One of them leaned out the window shouting "hiya love" to which i smiled and waved in response, then he tried calling me over which I ignored for several reasons that were running through my mind, he persisted and I ignored him a second time to which he shouted bitch down the street at me... Without branding all men the same, why do they have to be so rude?

[Michelle.M]

It's in the DNA. Goes way back to the cavemen who needed to attract a mate to ensure the survival of the species. At least they didn't try to entice you with a delicious brontosaurus dinner back at the cave.

http://www.michelle-martin.com/extra/american-girl-in-italy-by-ruth-orkin-1951.jpg

[sissystephanie]

Unfortunately it usually goes back to the way they were raised! I was taught to accept all women as "ladies" unless they proved themselves to be otherwise. Obviously I am much older now, but I still hold to those same standards. I do believe that the rude men are in the minority!! You handled it very properly!!

[joannemarie barker]

aaaaaaaw take no notice Hun.hey at least you turn heads :) oh I love that song :) muse are awesome :) x

[Kittie]

It's in the DNA. Goes way back to the cavemen who needed to attract a mate to ensure the survival of the species. At least they didn't try to entice you with a delicious brontosaurus dinner back at the cave.

Haha, Euphamisms aside I dont eat much meat luckily.

[Fab Karen]

Here I'll point out that some morons take any little bit of friendliness from a female ( or those they think female ( & also with a minority of admirers ) ) as a encouragment to hit on them.

[Jenna Stunned]

By van im thinking contractors???? Perhaps not, As they dont have to be but...... There are some truely crude people out there whom find amusement and humor in the most tastless acts. Certainly not a majority in any field, But they are out there. And as a contractor I can attest that I have heard and seen guys say and do things that I just have to shake my head at in disbelief. Guys trying to be more "manly" infront of other guys. Also Im guessing since there were multiple people in the van the Jerk in question was tryin to show off in front of his buddies. I bet if he was alone he would have never said anything.

Your best thing to do is just ignore them from the start. Dont even acknowledge them, Being ignored is gonna make him look like a tool infront of his buddies. I know I would throw it back in his face if his attempts to get your attention were met with a cold shoulder. Although it would have been funny and put the guy in an awkward spot infront of his buddys to answer back with your deepest guy voice "Hey baby, So your into guys??" But I DO NOT RECOMMEND that anyone do that. Although it would be funny, it could also be dangerous depending on your situation.

[Miranda09]

Didn't you know Lacey that as soon as a guy, especially a group of guys, whistles and calls you over, you're supposed to drop everything coming running toward them and give them anything they want??? It's that caveman-like group mentally that reasserts themselves as men I guess. Ignore them and enjoy your time out, like most women do. :)

[Marissa]

Rejection is a tough thing to take, especially if around buddies..so I'm sure its all played up. And you did right by doing so in keeping distance, some rejection brings on violence.

On the lighter side, at least they had good taste when they saw you :)

[Cynthia Anne]

It's always been that way! Those type can't think with there small brains!

[Kittie]

Does this happen in america? Or is it just the UK that sucks? X.x

[Michelle.M]

It happens EVERYWHERE!

Truth be told, when I was in Europe I thought that it was more tolerated there, but recent events in Italy make me think that might be changing.

[Marissa]

Hon, only place it does not happen is on the remote island without men on it :) Yes, it happens all over the world...

[GingerLeigh]

Would have loved to see the three of them get their butts kicked by some hot blonde bombshell, something akin to "Kill Bill".

Jerks are everywhere, not just the UK. You did the right thing, keep on walking. Your dignity is intact, and he's humiliated in front of his buddies. It would have been funny to have said something to him in your deepest voice, but ill advised. That is of course unless you are some kind of martial arts expert or are packing a little something in your clutch!

Stay safe!
Ginger

[Cynthia Anne]

Hon, only place it does not happen is on the remote island without men on it :) ...

Tell me where this island is Please! I'd like to live there!

[Wendy_Marie]

Lacey Dear....
It happens everywhere here in the States as well... anytime you get more than two guys together your gonna have a pissin' contest of some sorts....it's a Freudian thing. Mostly this is just macho bravado and testosterone fueled behaviors that manifest themselves into a semi-harmless acts...but when they get out of control people get hurt and laws get broken.
As a genetic male I have always refused to participate in this type of behavior, but as a young cross dresser there were times especially after particular feminine dressing sessions, when the proverbial pink fog lifted and I would find myself over compensating and fall into the masculine He Man mentality...luckily for me these didn't last very long and within a very short time I was back in my panties and behaving more like the young lady I believed myself to be. I believe now that when guys behave like this they too are over compensating for some type of short comings in their life...They just don't have either the support system at home or the willingness to deal with their deep seated problems and so they strike out to anyone they feel they can in an attempt to make the rest of the world as miserable as they are, and they do get away with doing it...Sadly, but oftentimes that is the Females of our world.

[TGMarla]

Sorry Lacey.....that was me. I apologize.


NOT!


(Joking......sheesh!)

[Emily Ann Brown]

I went to a public event here in North Carolina, United States...when walking up to get a ticket to get this CREAP tried to pick me up by offering me a free ticket. I tell him I had the money for my own ticket (while still walking up to the ticket line)..."So you are a BITCH huh?" I said "WHATEVER!" The lady in the ticket booth pushed me a ticket and won't take my money saying "I like you dear!".

MEN!!!! Who needed them!


Em

[cordgrass]

If you are not interested in getting to know the man better, if a strange man talks to you in public place, unless it is to ask directions or something like that, completely ignore him. Do not smile, do not react in any way. Do not answer any direct questions or comment. Otherwise you are sending mixed signals. If you smile at a stranger it is an invitation for him to pursue. Act as if he isn't even there.

The rules are different for women, particularly pretty women.

[DebsUK]

So, from Supermassive Black Hole on the iPod to super massive knobhead in the van. Talk about the sublime to the ridiculous (and the possibly very closeted trying to look the big man in front of his mates that he really qants to see naked LOL)

[Chickhe]

I think its the initial smile and wave that did it, but its pretty rude to have a girl smile at you then call her a bitch...for any reason. On a positive note, I guess it means you look like a pretty woman...so you are doing something right. I've had experiences when I had to ignore some guys...the initial feeling that you look like a side of beef takes some getting used to. I get a kick out of it now because I know its the clothes...nothing personal (like if only they knew what I know).

[Katie Moore]

If you are not interested in getting to know the man better, if a strange man talks to you in public place, unless it is to ask directions or something like that, completely ignore him. Do not smile, do not react in any way. Do not answer any direct questions or comment. Otherwise you are sending mixed signals. If you smile at a stranger it is an invitation for him to pursue. Act as if he isn't even there.

The rules are different for women, particularly pretty women.

I agree completely. Back when I used to chase the skirt instead of wearing it, if the girl gave me a smile or a wave I was there. If she ignored me then I would move on.

[Pythos]

Cordgrass,

I have to sadly agree with what you are saying. Unfortunately it makes this world very cold.

What happened? Why do women, or men for that matter need to resort to such cold methods just because there are some A-holes out there? Why were boys encouraged to treat women in such horrible ways? I know we link it to caveman mentality, but that really is no excuse.

Personally I think that parrents are failing utterly when raising their kids, and the results are the examples of "manliness" we have these days at an ever increasing amount.

If a girl smiles at me or acknowledges me, I have never thought that was an invite for more. Most of the people I have known have never thought that, including my old shop mates. (and they had some awful attitudes to women).

What is happening I think is one of the true results of the collapse of values. Values like respect.

[Karren H]

The A Team music just popped into my head.. Mr T... Yoo Babe... You Fool!!

Never happened to me... Obviously I must be doing something wrong....

[Chastitycd]

By van im thinking contractors???? Perhaps not, As they dont have to be but...... There are some truely crude people out there whom find amusement and humor in the most tastless acts. Certainly not a majority in any field, But they are out there. And as a contractor I can attest that I have heard and seen guys say and do things that I just have to shake my head at in disbelief. Guys trying to be more "manly" infront of other guys. Also Im guessing since there were multiple people in the van the Jerk in question was tryin to show off in front of his buddies. I bet if he was alone he would have never said anything.

Your best thing to do is just ignore them from the start. Dont even acknowledge them, Being ignored is gonna make him look like a tool infront of his buddies. I know I would throw it back in his face if his attempts to get your attention were met with a cold shoulder. Although it would have been funny and put the guy in an awkward spot infront of his buddys to answer back with your deepest guy voice "Hey baby, So your into guys??" But I DO NOT RECOMMEND that anyone do that. Although it would be funny, it could also be dangerous depending on your situation.

Being a Contractor also, I think Jenna couldnt have said it better. You put a group of working buddies together in an automobile and ive seen some STUPID things happen that none of them would have done on their own. I once saw 4 guys who worked for a construction company jump a ford fiesta across a 16 ft wide drainage ditch just cause they were bored and needed something to talk about that night when they all went drinking. Yet seperately theyre good church going people, family type who would never think of doing something like this on their own. Testosterone not only is deadly when mixed with more, but is also airborne.

Chastity

[Breannah]

I work as a labourer for me dads company most Saturdays before football and in the holidays and we drive a white van. And yes we might whistle at good looking girls, to which you did the right thing and smiled back :), but yes they were wrong to call you over anyway and call you a bitch but just remember we don't all do it! most white van men are good lads who just like a bit of banter and talking to good looking girls. And it has to be said you are a damn good looking girl!

[Pythos]

Breannah, I have seen some of that kind of behavior, and as long as it is harmless recognition of an attractive female, I personally have no issue with it, hell I wouldn't mind it myself. But, it is when the statements include what the caller would like to do with said female, or the flat out insults issued by some of the men.

I do wish women would return the favor though. Perhaps then, men wouldn't be so ready to do those catcalls.

[Breannah]

Yer i agree there's no real place for them statements :) but when your with your mates things like that often slip out anyway and im sure they are never meant personally. Best for the girls to just take the good side out of it and realise they are obviously good looking to attract the attention :D

[t-girlxsophie]

Funny how they have to be in packs before one is "brave" enough to say something,even in my work you get a few guys together and some of the stuff they come out with defies belief,one reason why I prefer compny of my female collegues.Do these guys feel comfortable with other nobheds around,safety in numbers.Am afraid its an age old problem and is destined to be that way forever.

:hugs:Sophie

[Loveday]

It is best just to ignore people like this, if they continue to bother you position yourself in a public safe place where their actions can be seen. When they are away from their SO or family they tend to show what they really are - grown men with a brain that is stuck around 9 to 11 years old. Sometimes they can be dangerous. I have never looked up to these kind of clowns.

[Olivia2]

I also have to agree with Cordgrass here.

While unlike her, I'm not a GG, I have been around long enough and observed GG's long enough to know that in that situation, a GG just keeps on walking without responding even to the initial wave.

In no way am I implying that this is your fault. You were trying to be courteous and the one guy was a jerk. It is just an unfortunate reality that GG's or TG's are safer when they just avoid any kind of interacting with strange men in a situation where they are vulnerable. We have a ways to go as a society before that is going to change, unfortunately.

[Sophie86]

Oh gosh. I used to do construction work. I've leaned out a window and gone, "Psst! Psst! Dammit girl...!" at passing college girls. They smiled and waved, and I did not call them bitches when they kept on walking. That's because I was (am) happily married, and would have been hugely embarrassed if they had tried to follow me home. :heehee:

Most construction workers would have been happy just getting the wave and the smile. It's a nice break in an otherwise dull day. That guy who tried it with you was one of those bitter types, either divorced or very unhappily married. He's already soured on women, and probably gets more satisfaction from calling them bitches than he would from a tumble in the back of his van. A very pathetic specimen. Don't let him define all men for you.

[rachellegsep]

In defense of white van men not all of us are complete "tosser's" . Some might be one of us ;^)

[noeleena]

Hi.

Yes we get the same here in kiwi land , tho i do get the odd one call out to me tho im known by those in our Village so its okay.

If im away from here its a different matter. when i get called out at i just look straight ahead as i know they are being smart . so no reaction from me .

I do know if you are pleasant to others ( men ) i do get a smile & a hi. & my demeaner is a woman is well accepted & at 63 it seems to be okay.

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

Some men have very fragile egos when a woman fails to succumb to their "charms".:)

[karynspanties]

We're all pigs........it comes with the testicles.

[deebra]

It makes an insecure man feel more manly or tough and he can do this to the smaller, weaker sex and get away with it. Would he do it to a good sized man that might turn around, walk back, snatch him out of the van and kick some manners in him, NEVER!!

[Stephanie47]

Some men will be pigs. But, you know there is an upside to your encounter. Based on the picture you posted, you are extremely attractive. If this slob had realized you were not the foxy lady he thought you were, there would have been a tirade of obscenities directed as cross-dressers or gays. He put you in the same category as all the GG's he verbally assaults-a foxy lady not worthy of his attentions.

[Alice Torn]

Group think, and mob mentality hits men at times, and makes "knuchle dragger trolls, and neanderthals of most men. I have done it too! But, now that the skirt is on the other legs, and it happened to me once, i understand what GGs feel. Groups and mobs are dangerous!

[BiancaEstrella]

If I'm walking down the street with SMBH playing in my ears, there's a good chance the rest of the world is tuned-out. Or any Muse song, for that matter. And it wouldn't matter what I had on.