So what's in a name?

[minalost]

So, I’m sitting at the kitchen table this morning eating breakfast when my wife comes in, sits down and says, “I had a thought this morning…:

“Hmmm,” I respond as my mouth was full of peanut butter and toast.

“Linda…”

Linda who? I’m totally confused :doh:.

“I think your female name should be Linda.” :eek:

Could have knocked me over with a feather! A little history: a few months ago when I told her I was going by Mina as my female name she informed me that she didn’t like that name because it was too close to hers. I explained to her how I came up with the name based on my male name: William = Wilhelmina, shortened to Mina. Mina is also a somewhat unique if not totally unknown name. Now maybe I’m an insensitive clod but the similarity to my wife’s name never occurred to me until she brought it up.

Back to this morning:

“Not only is Linda similar to your middle name (true) but then you won’t sound like a hooker :eek:.”

Ouch! But really, does Mina sound like a hooker’s name? More telling is that fact that she used my own argument about name similarity to promote her choice of a name.

On the plus side she is actually engaging in conversation about my crossdressing, and attempting to take some “ownership” of my female persona by picking my name. I can only think of this as a positive sign.

So, should I change my name to Linda?

On the one hand I like Mina as a name, and it is unique. But does it really sound like a hooker’s name?

On the other hand, if "Mina" offends the wife (for whatever reason…), and I like Linda (or maybe Lynda??) as a name, why not change it? This is actually the only place that I’m really known a Mina anyway…

Opinions?

[Katie Moore]

Hey if my wife suggested a name for me I'd have to seriously consider it. Maybe have her take me out on a shopping trip to think about it!

[insearchofme]

Change it silly! It's my wife's name so I'm kind of biased.

[LitaKelley]

No, Mina does not sound like a hookers name.. it sounds sexy.. and makes me think of Dracula :)

[Chickhe]

I like the Lynda with a 'y'. It satisfies her idea and it makes it your own by adding your own twist. I guess if you feel comfortable hearing the name, why not? I'm lucky, my first name is generic and at one time I would have been embarrased to use it enfem, but recently I was shopping and used my credit card with my own name...kind of convenient as it turns out. In general though, I like to use a name that doesn't identify the male me.

[minalost]

No, Mina does not sound like a hookers name.. it sounds sexy.. and makes me think of Dracula :)

Always been a Dracula fan myself. One of the other reasons I liked the name.

[Sarah Doepner]

If my wife had suggested I change my name to one she was more comfortable with and helped her better relate to my femme side, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[Chastitycd]

I like both names. Mina to me doesnt sound like a "hooker" name though. Youre kinda in a jam, you like your name, but that little ounce of your SO's input can go a long way! But if you do go with Lynda, spell it with a Y.

[Lorileah]

(disclaimer: My "other" secret name is Mina Castor so I have a bias to like Mina)

My wife took to calling me Monique when I was dressing or acting feminine. She thought it was a god idea because it is close to my male name. I didn't mind it but I only let her call me that. It became a pet name. I was just happy she called me anything at all :)

[Marie-Elise]

I think you should go for the name she suggests. If nothing else, it gives her a sense of ownership in your female persona. Every time she says it or refers to you by it, she will know that the person is a construct of the both of you. I am jealous.

[Jane G]

If you like the name Lynda then go for it. It's just a name, but both of you will have contributed to the name, which means so much more than the name it's self.

[t-girlxsophie]

Couldn't you compromise and make Mina your middle name,my Wife picked my middle name,I had never thought of hving one before,I like it too which helps

[suchacutie]

Make her happy! Change it! I also agree that Mina or some version of Mina could be Lynda's middle name.

This is a no-brainer! :)

tina

p.s. yes, my wife chose this name from a list of names I was ok with, but had she come up with another name I'd have taken that!

[GingerLeigh]

Oh if my wife know about "Ginger", she'd have a new name for me alright. A few I'd imagine like...a$$hole, bas#$%rd, liar liar pants (or is that skirt) on fire, oh and don't forget the cursory "divorced".

Ugh, I'll stick with Ginger.

[NicoleScott]

As many hookers as there are, no name escapes being used ("Hi, I'm Chastity. Looking for a date tonight?"). There's really no OTHER valid reason to change your name than that your wife wants you to. You explained how you chose your name and that's fine. But if it gets you just a little more acceptance, change it.

[Shelly Preston]

I am biased too but for different reasons

My wife helped me choose the name Shelly so yes I would change it

Anything that helps her be more comfortable with your female side has to be good

[Chastitycd]

As many hookers as there are, no name escapes being used ("Hi, I'm Chastity. Looking for a date tonight?"). There's really no OTHER valid reason to change you name than that your wife wants you to. You explained how you chose your name and that's fine. But if it gets you just a little more acceptance, change it.

:eek: Are you implying i have a hooker name??!? :Angry3:

[RachelOKC]

Mina, It wasn't fair of your wife to attempt manipulating you by calling up that not-so-subtle denigration. If she had a friend named Mina, would she tell her that her name is a hooker's name? She didn't need to attack to make her opinion known.

What's in a name? Identity for one. We choose a name because it feels like it fits us. Like you, I gave deep thought to my name and why it was a good fit for me. I suppose it's a different dynamic when the name comes along *after* you've been in a relationship, but I'd still be extremely reluctant to even think about changing it based on a partner's dislike.

[NicoleScott]

No, I actually like the name. I have known two girls named Chastity and liked them both, It's just the last name I would expect for a hooker. No offense to you intended.

[Jackiefl]

if the so is not happy nobody,s happy! change it and enjoy

[Chastitycd]

No, I actually like the name. I have known two girls named Chastity and liked them both, It's just the last name I would expect for a hooker. No offense to you intended.

:) Haha nah I knew you didnt mean anything by it just wanted to ruffle your undies a bit :devil:

[lmildcd]

I can understand wanting to use a variation of your male name. I was and still thinking about using Lennette, Leondra, or Lenore. My male name is Leonard. I actually had a web page for people to vote and Lennette lead with 3 to 1 vote for Lenore. I'm still undecided.

I don't think Mina sounds like name for a hooker. I was thinking that maybe you should combine both Mina and Linda/Lynda but I don't think it would sound right. Sounds like your wife would rather call you Linda/Lynda than MIna. The only solution that I can come up with is to keep using Mina in the forum and use Linda/Lynda with your wife.

[Paula Siemen]

No, Mina does not sound like a hookers name.. it sounds sexy.. and makes me think of Dracula :)

......Suck What?????

[carhill2mn]

If your wife suggested a name I think that you should use it. Anyway, Linda is a nice name.

[JenniferR771]

Keep her happy, but no need to let her dictate.
How about Lynn Duh!

[Gillian Gigs]

To me the point is that if she is giving you the name Linda, she is accepting your other side. Couples often give there SO a pet name, so just go with it. The important thing is the love and acceptance.

[PretzelGirl]

If you are not invested in the Mina AND if you are okay with the name Lynda; slam dunk. You need to be Lynda and let her start that level of acceptance. I do like someone's idea of Mina being your middle name. Tell her that you want to keep it as a middle name since that is the one you picked for yourself and you don't want to lose it.

[sissystephanie]

My dear late wife suggested Stephanie to me when we were first married. Prior to that I had always used the name Sally, which I still like. But when your wife accepts your crossdressing to the point of giving you a female name...................well, what more can you ask?? Maybe with the change to Lynda!!

[DebsUK]

Linda is nice. I like Mina, but I can't help thinking you might be found with horns chasing a Greek hero round a maze....

[Cassandra Lynn]

Happy wife = happy life, and like you and everyone has said the investment from her is too valuable to pass up.
As for Mina sounding hookerish i don't see it at all, to me it just sounds kinda European. And i can tell i'm not a devotee of all things Dracula/vampire cause i don't get the connection with Mina?

Cassie

[MichelleP]

Okay so I got my name from what my family called me as a tease when I was little - It stuck. Point being that if someone cares enough to give you a name - heck, run with it. Linda is a very pretty name too.

[Mary Morgan]

I'm with the others. Happy wife, happy life.

[Fab Karen]

Mina a hooker's name? no. But if you like Linda of whatever spelling, go for it. If you don't like that name, pick something you like. Remember, it goes on your ( deep reverb )PERMANENT RECORD.:heehee:

[busker]

“I think your female name should be Linda.” :eek:


Opinions?
maybe your wife is giving you a compliment. If memory serves me, linda is Spanish is "pretty" as in muy linda=very pretty.
And of course, there are a number of pretty Lndas--Linda Ronstadt, Linda Darnell. or maybe "Lindy"
Anyway, if your wife likes it and is accepting of your dressing youi relly can't go wrong.

[Sophie86]

I agree with the others about going along with your wife's suggestion.

Mina isn't a hooker's name, imo, but it is a bit exotic, hence more alluring. By giving you a name that is ordinary, she's making herself comfortable with your crossdressing, less threatened by it. That's to the good.

[zoe m]

I vote for Mina. But hey, I'm not your wife... :)

[minalost]

Thank you all for your input. I told my wife last night that Lynda (going with the "y" spelling...) is a wonderful name. I hope that this will help to bring greater acceptance on her part.

[Zoe Preston]

Well Lynda, I can see that I'm too late (As ever :rolleyes:) but I was going to say that if you haven't got Mina tattooed anywhere go with your wife's suggestion.

And, to concur with others, it's pretty cool that she is with so accepting of you that she is helping to shape your identity :thumbsup:

Zoe

[patti1569]

One thing I like about being a crossdreser is the variety. I can reinvent myself everyday. I like my name Patti, which I picked because of this hot girl I knew in college. I wanted to look just like her. I just recently thought about changing my Cd name to Stacy (Fergie's real first name) because i want to look just like her lol! Of course I would spell it with an i. Anyway, use any name you want. That is the beauty of it all! You can change it when ever you feel like it without needing a new drivers license :)

[Debutante]

Linda would be fine... it helps to bring you wife in to your crossdressing in a small way... then more things can open up.
"Mina" is fine... it sounds like a nickname...

[Marissa]

Its great that you went with the wife's suggestion..I'm sure she is a bit more happier in your 'acceptance' of this :) I'm sure this will bring both even more closer if you need that..

I did a name change after showing pics to my ex while we were at lunch one day. She asked what was my name, I told her..she pondered and said, no, it doesn't fit you. She thought for a minute and then said Marissa...it sounded right..so I changed it. We don't communicate anymore, but that moment will always put a smile on my face.

Hugs,
Marissa

[Eve II]

You should change it to Lynda. Take the "Y" to "i" as your imput. Think about the big picture,
most threads on the site deal with trying to get the SO/wife to accept our passion for living
our femme side. It seems that your wife wants to be a major part - SO LET HER IN!

[eluuzion]

One of the most important tools in a person's identity toolbox is their name. That's why all the sales trainers and psychobabble experts advise us to remember a person's name, and address them with it often when conversing with them. So if the former is even partially true, it is reasonably safe to assume selecting a name is an important task in most peoples' minds.

Any decent divorce attorney or negotiator will tell you that "bargaining chips" play a crucial role in the negotiating process. One effective strategy is to convince your "adversary" that certain "items" you possess have great value to you, when in reality they do not. These items are then used to trade for items that do have value to you that your "adversary" controls.

An oversimplified and incomplete explanation, but hopefully enough to shed light on my point. If I found myself in your circumstances I would probably see your situation as presenting a window of opportunity that I would certainly not pass by. (Letting the SO pick your "name").

One of the advantages of being "single" is that these types of scenarios are all just "hypothetical" dilemmas for me (that I do not plan to turn into reality any time soon)... lol

just my “two sense”, you owe me a penny...:heehee:
:love: