The majority of women will never accept.

[suzy1]

I am inviting controversy I know but this is how I see it.
Now some things in life are just unchangeable. Oil and water just don’t mix for example.
Now a lot [but not all] women do not like there man to be a crossdresser. We know that. And it’s understandable, to me anyway.
What worries me sometimes is that some members do not seem to except this. And blame there wives or girl friends for not accepting there fem side. Or at least are disappointed by there SOs reaction.
But it’s not there fault. It’s nobody’s fault! It’s just how it is.
Some things you just can’t change.
Show them love and understanding. See it from there side.

SUZY

[msniki48]

Suzy I agree with you, that many women do not want to see there men dress as women also, at least not yet. I do think, however, that the next generation will be much more tolerant than ours was as there is much more acceptance toward androdyny. women are stronger and men are becoming more sensative.
[ except on jersey shore...lol] i think our generation is plowing the way for the future. our women [ generation wise] were taught the same way we were...the man is supposed to be the man and lodi dodi da... but that is very different in this generation. many of our younger sister are going out clubbing en femme as though it were the natural thing to do. if we did that 20 yrs ago, we'd be shot. and our women felt the same way about dressing. i do think there is hope for the future. there will be plenty of GG women to go around for all our TG sisters. Another thing is, I think they will go into relationships knowing their partner is CD or TG[ we are so much more open about it]...as many of our partners did not. another plus for the next generation.

just my humble opinion

hugs

[suzy1]

I sincerely hope you are right msniki

SUZY

[Marissa]

Suzy, this topic was 'attempted' to be discussed in another thread and I believe you may have commented on it too, as I did. The topic was about some members' responses as you have indicted above. The blame, disappointment, and sometimes angry reaction to their SO/wives. The confusion on that thread became more towards why some don't accept cd/ts, etc...so it went way left field, even though I tried to bring it back to the main question. So I wish you luck on this thread, as I find it to be an interesting topic as to why do some who have an SO or wife, react as such.

Now normally this issue came about after a relationship/marriage has already began and its discovered or shared, after the fact.

I don't have either, but began experimenting a couple of years into my last marriage. Trying to introduce parts of my cding (just clothing) into the bedroom..she was not really into it but did not give a hostile reaction. But other things came to add to the breakup in the marriage. She was introduced to Marissa in pics after the breakup and still no negative response, in fact she came up with my name..

Hugs,
Marissa

[Marissa]

Suzy I agree with you, that many women do not want to see there men dress as women also, at least not yet. I do think, however, that the next generation will be much more tolerant than ours was as there is much more acceptance toward androdyny. women are stronger and men are becoming more sensative.
[ except on jersey shore...lol] i think our generation is plowing the way for the future. our women [ generation wise] were taught the same way we were...the man is supposed to be the man and lodi dodi da... but that is very different in this generation. many of our younger sister are going out clubbing en femme as though it were the natural thing to do. if we did that 20 yrs ago, we'd be shot. and our women felt the same way about dressing. i do think there is hope for the future. there will be plenty of GG women to go around for all our TG sisters. Another thing is, I think they will go into relationships knowing their partner is CD or TG[ we are so much more open about it]...as many of our partners did not. another plus for the next generation.

just my humble opinion

hugs

Can agree with you, niki, in that the young generation of now is more accepting then previous generations and if that is what the future holds, then there is hope that any cd or ts will have the courage to be more open about their lifestlye/hobby at the beginning of the relationship.

And that is great in preventing some of the issues that Suzy is referring to..where an SO/wife can not accept a crossdresser. They desired/married a man or at least the man that was being presented. So to expect a woman to accept it is a gamble and should not be a cause for reacting negatively if she does not accept.

Now I'm not talking about if she throws pots and pans at ya :) or outs you to friends/family, those would be reasons to react. But we can't be surprised if she just wants nothing to do it with at all. Just as how we would be surprised if she does accept it.

Hope this makes sense.

[Gina X]

Do you girls think that some GG women do not accept crossdressing partners because they are insecure in their own relationship and feel threatened by another female presence. I know in my case my wife and I had a very strong relationship and this would seem to be the case for several others on this forum who don't seem to have problems being accepted............

[Mary Morgan]

Suzy, while I accept your ascertion, I do not think it is a law of nature such as your water/oil example. While men and women may have distinctive functions as part of their nature, how they dress and how they appear does not necessarily interfere with the performance of those functions. In fact, the roles of the sexes and the attire of the sexes has changed, literally flipped over the centuries. I will not accept that crossdressing must be a point of conflict, rather that women have been raised to believe it is. In a relationship or in society at large, where each person is responsible, commited, selfless, loving, caring, hardworking, trustworthy and loyal to the cause, things like dressing can and have been overcome. I will certainly agree that it is a hard road to go, but it is not because of nature, rather it is because of attitudes and prejudices. We can all remember those who claimed discrimating against people of color was righteous because it was a law of nature.

[Stephanie47]

Suzy, I agree! My wife has known about my cross-dressing for over thirty years. She has known for longer than thirty years that I had a desire to wear feminine lingerie. Now, I am making a distinction between knowing her man liked to dabble in feminine clothing and realizing her man is a cross-dresser. There is a world of difference. My wife, as well as most intolerant or non accepting women, say they wish they had known up front. It has taken me forty years to realize, she may have wanted to know the full extent of my cross-dressing desires (so did I), but, now I am viewing life as I've had forty years of denial. I know what compromises I've made throughout marriage, not involving cross-dressing (employment, where we live, the house we live in, the church we use to attend, etc, etc, etc). I've drawn the line in the sand. If she ever were to break out of DADT, it's history. There are just so many compromises a person can make. When there is nothing more to lose or salvage, liberation will come for us.

[Rachel Morley]

I think that it depends on the woman. The title of your thread says "the majority of women" ... I think for the most part I would agree with that because, generally speaking, IMHO, the majority of the population of men and women prefer the opposite of what they are themselves as far as physical attraction goes. In other words women tend to like men to be men and men tend to like women to be women, if you get what mean. So, while there is a vast amount of variance out there when it comes to "attraction to a mate", I do think that (broadly speaking), given the choice, the majority of women would prefer not to date or be married to a transgendered person by choice. :2c:

[ReineD]

Now some things in life are just unchangeable. Oil and water just don’t mix for example.

Actually they do, if you add an emulsifier like an egg yolk, to make an opaque salad dressing that won't separate, for example. :)



Some things you just can’t change.
Show them love and understanding. See it from there side.

I disagree with you a little bit here. Your love and understanding can act like an emulsifier, which over time can help a woman accept. Maybe not in every situation since there are many other factors that come into play, but it is certainly doable. :hugs:

[dawnmarrie1961]

Suzy, Your eye sight is undoubtedly 20 20. What you see is very much correct. Many times the CDing hubby is too self involved to see the signs of discontentment in their SO's eyes. (I know. I was one of those idiots!) They think incorrectly that being able to communicate their desires to their spouse means everything is OK. Not realizing the other person has needs and desires as well. Some of them may clash with each other and cause the need to negotiate limits and boundaries of acceptable behavior. This requires true OPENNESS on both parties involved to be successful. And it takes time and patience as well. Unfortunately due to the nature of men we can be severely lacking in both.

[Sophie_C]

You are correct and don't feel bad about it. Gender roles are a natural part of human existence. Most MEN aren't comfortable with their wives dressing like men, so it's how we all work...

[Jorja]

Here is the thing Suzy, all women don't need to accept CDing. Most CDers only need one women to accept it. That one is the one that matters most in thier lives. Add in love, understanding, and communication and you have a relationship dreams are made of.

[CherryZips]

Actually I wonder if as understanding of crossdressing and trans issues spreads it might put women off more not encourage them. If a lot of the women knew the realities, details and complications they might be more reluctant to sign up with a crossdresser not less.

The innocent woman who signs up thinking "ah its just a harmless hobby" might not be so enamoured by the common possibilities waiting for her.

[Katesback]

Why whould they? Why would women accept CD behavior when I dare say the majority of CDs dont see thier bahavior as mainstream? How can I say that? Because I have only known a small handful of CDs that were out in the REAL world presenting themselves with dignity and respect. It might be a surprise but these small handful of people actually earn the respect of people while they are out in the real world.

Also why would a woman accept a CD when they want a man? I realize that some CDs are exactly what they say they are but a LOT are REALLY TS in denial and hey why would a woman want to even take that chance?

Finally why would a woman want to deal with the all to common escalations, the need to express yourselves, the frustrations and all that? Why would they?

[ChristiesGurl]

And then there are those of us women who are wanting a LTR with a CD'er and can't find that special someone, or when they do, it just doesn't work out. :-(

[Fab Karen]

Except means to leave out. Accept is the word you wanted. If people speak clearly they can hear the difference.

[Cynthia Anne]

Suzy, I agree with most of what your saying, except for the part where you say oil and water don't mix! I think it's called Wal-mart brand!!!

[Pythos]

Great Maker, it is no wonder we are still a cultural reject, especially reading some of these comments.

[sissystephanie]

Why don't a lot of women like crossdressers? Very simple, most women like MEN! And many crossdressers say very plainly that they prefer to be women!! That is not at all hard to understand. Yes, I am a MTF crossdresser!! But I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a woman. I like to wear feminine clothes, but that is as far as it goes. That is why my dear late wife loved me for the almost 50 years we had together, knowing that I was a CD the whole time. And the lady in Scotland whom I love also knows that I am a CD and could care less, because she knows that I am really a man!! If you are going to say that women don't like CD's, you have to qualify what kind of CD you are talking about!! A totally feminine male CD, or one like myself!!

[Leslie Langford]

I would tend to agree with Mary Morgan that how we choose to dress has a lot to do with how we are socialized. Most people will follow the prescribed norms as to gender-specific clothing in accordance with the way society has laid out the "rules", so to speak, whereas others - such as we crossdressers - are prepared to flout convention because those restrictions just don't work for us. Or as that great philosopher RuPaul ;) once put it (and I'm paraphrasing here) "We're all born naked, the rest is just drag".

As for women accepting us or not, I would say that the biggest difference in how they might feel about our crossdressing comes down to whether or not they are close to us and/or have a romantic interest in us, or else are strangers or simply friends. When the crossdressing does not strike so close to home, it is less of a threat, and some might even find it intriguing on some level. But when it comes to "their" man, many will likely see his crossdressing as an affront to their own inherent femininity and would be inclined to feel threatened by it - especially if they already have self-image issues.

Morning television is rampant with shows targeted at women that either have gay male hosts e.g. the Nate Berkus Show or else are comprised of locally produced broadcasts that are focused on fashion, beauty, makeovers and hairstyles etc. where again, gay male "experts" in these fields predominate. And guess what? - the ladies just love these gentlemen and hang on their every word. Same thing with their gay male hairdressers and or the make up artists working in salons or at department store cosmetics counters that they visit personally for their beauty needs. But should their very own "manly" men exhibit those same skills or interests, most women would likely consider that creepy. And I would draw the same analogy when it comes to their relationships with the crossdressers in their lives. Not particularly logical in the strictest sense of the word, but then we all know that women as a whole are far more emotional beings than we are, and are much more inclined to let their feelings and hearts override their minds when trying to decide what to think or do.

I can also speak from personal experience. I've come to know a number of GG's (my make up artist, for example) who not only have no problem with what I do, but are, in fact, intrigued and fascinated by it. As for my wife, well, she is gradually becoming more and more comfortable with my crossdressing (or maybe I'm just wearing her down by this point :eek::doh::heehee:) but overall, "don't ask, don't tell" still prevails in our household.

As I said, not always logical, but it is what it is...

[GG Kathy]

I think the main problem is most of you look better than us so I would say it may be a little bit of jealousy

[Angie G]

Well then I'm blessed.I have one of the Accepting wives. And I know I've really lucky.:hugs:
Angie

[BRANDYJ]

I think we are over-looking some simple laws of attraction here. If a woman meets a man, starts dating, starts to feel like there is a future together as a couple, has trust in him, then she may become accepting or understanding in time. The amount of time varies. But if a man starts to see himself as a woman and starts behaving more like a woman the the man the woman first met, then she is going to withdraw. Remember, she was attracted to a MAN, not a woman. Now if that same man acted like a woman while dressed, it is maybe even expected he at least try to walk, talk and act like a woman. No one wants to see a lumber jack in a dress anymore then a woman wants to see a woman (her man) act like a woman when he is in drab. Sorry if this offends anyone, but it is sort of a role play. If the man continues to look, act and be a man while in drab, there is more then a chance and hope the woman will still be attracted to him regardless of how feminine he might be dressed.
As for myself, I always show my SO that I am a man while in drab, But I can be as feminine appearing and acting as I want while dressed. She happens to love me in either role.
My best guess is that 50% or more women that are in love or falling in love, with trust, and respect already established will accept the male crossdresser if he is open, honest and most of all, show care and concern for the woman he loves. Go slow, be patient, and always show her she is loved and appreciated for more then just accepting his crossdressing.
I think many, if not most CD's go overboard, and way to fast once they simply tell there partner they like to dress in women's clothes. He never shuts up about it. Right away shaves his body hair, pierces his ears, paints his toe nails, wears a gown to bed every night, thins his brows and in any other way that is considered a feminine thing to do. All of the sudden, where's the MAN she fell for? A woman can understandably start to worry, get scared, turned off, and do an about face since in to many ways to soon, she feels she lost her man.
I see way to much selfishness in many CD's. And just what are they doing to show love and appreciation? We need to continually court the women we love. I think once engulfed in the PINK FOG, many forget this along with showing her you are still a man, the man she fell in love with.:2c:

[silhouette]

When I took haydee public it freaked out a number of people, but the ones it hit the hardest were my ex gfs.. and both of them have a lot of gay friends.. one of them even lives in a gay district of the city.. and they were still freakout of by it. So yes, a lot of women definitely feel weird about it.

Not surprising.. they want a man not a girl.. they want to be one that's pretty and gets all the attention .. women are catty with other women

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I agree with what Mary Morgan has said. It's bias that is taught within society that makes many women unaccepting. In the past two decades, I have seen a clear increase in the level of acceptance.

Children have no problem with crossdressing or crossdressers until someone, usually an adult, tells them that they should. I'm finding that fewer children now take notice of such bigotry, and fewer parents appear to be teaching it than even 5 years ago.

I would agree with the statements "Many women don't currently accept" and "A few women will never accept" but I don't believe that the word "majority" is correct even today, and as society is gradually becoming less bigoted against us, the proportion who don't accept is diminishing.

I know a few women who have no problem with men who are not their partner being crossdressers, but would have a problem if their partner was. The number so far is 2 in over a 50 women that I have asked this question of over the years.

As with the fear of rejection, ridicule, etc from going out in public or being out about crossdressing, I would have to say that "The majority of women will never accept" is a pessimistic perception in the mind of a crossdresser.

[silhouette]

y women don't currently accept" and "A few women will never accept" but I don't believe that the word "majority" is correct even today, and as society is gradually becoming less bigoted against us, the proportion who don't accept is diminishing.

well i am part of the young generation and i can tell you that the majority of women in my experience were turned off by it when i went public 2 months ago with this talent. some were turned on to it.. so it's not a universal thing. cross dressing may be making an increase in acceptance but it's still not mainstream. at least not in my area or community of friends.

when they see a guy dancing in stripper heels that looks prettier than most girls, it raises questions.. just the way it is.
it's still new to people, maybe the majority attitude will change once they get used to it

[donnatracey]

Mmm, maybe things are different "down under" but there is little doubt in my mind that the "majority" of women still here don't accept cross dressing. Just look at the posts on this board.....:doh:

[t-girlxsophie]

I would have to agree Suzy that there is still a majority of women who simply wouldn't entertain living their lives with a CDer,but I would say through sites like this we are learning that being honest from the outset Is the only way to alter that statistic.As I have said before My Wife knew from the beginning even before meeting me,that I was a Crossdresser,we talked about everything that entailed,but she also knew the drab side too and if anything that part of me was what first attracted her to me.I firmly believe things will change


I have only known a small handful of CDs that were out in the REAL world presenting themselves with dignity and respect. It might be a surprise but these small handful of people actually earn the respect of people while they are out in the real world.

It's clear you don't think much of CDs if you are saying that its only those out in the world that have dignity and respect,There is many decent Crossdressers living their lives behind close doors who are loving and caring to their loved ones needs.they arent selfish and dont push them to extremes.

[suzy1]

Thank you for all your interesting comments.
I would just like to point out the reason for my post.
The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

Thank you, SUZY

[BRANDYJ]

Thank you for all your interesting comments.
I would just like to point out the reason for my post.
The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

Thank you, SUZY

Suzy, I totally agree. I think way to many CD's are so disappointed, so hurt or even mad that they didnot get the acceptance that they wanted, that they forget how the SO must feel. I too look at it from a GG's perspective (as much as my male mind lets me). I can't fault anyone for what they feel, think, or have been socialized to believe. There is no right or wrong. It just is the way they are concerning their feelings toward us CD's. But given time, compassion, love and patience, I think most loving GG's can overcome whatever dislike or fears they might have being with a CD partner.

[SuzanneBender]

Suzy interesting thread and always one that spurs a lot of interesting discussion. I assert that this isn't rocket science. The women in our lives, in all likelihood, fell in love with a male image. My bride fell in love with a wiry 6' tall manly man she didn't fall in love with a leggy 6' tall blond woman. Her life was turned upside down by all of this. We have had years to accept this, but many of us expect them to accept it overnight which isn't fair. I have heard many people say that if you are truly in love it will prevail. I am no longer sure. If love could cure all I wouldn't be on this site. I am still holding out hope for the fact that love can help with finding a way to make all of this work for everyone involved.

[Gillian Gigs]

Some good comments from everyone. When I first came out to my SO, one of her biggest concerns was that I was going to be more feminine than her. Judging from what I have read on the forums that are out there, this is a valid concern. Like someone else said, "women want a man in there life and not another woman, because women like men". Aside from personal issues, I think that a good CDing husband needs to show his SO his manly side also. It is like walking a tightrope, good luck.

[ChristiesGurl]

Do you girls think that some GG women do not accept crossdressing partners because they are insecure in their own relationship and feel threatened by another female presence. I know in my case my wife and I had a very strong relationship and this would seem to be the case for several others on this forum who don't seem to have problems being accepted............

When I found myself attracted to a CD'er I thought it made me a lesbian. I took quite a hard look at myself and discovered I'm not, but I would have been fine with it if I had discovered I was (I would consider a relationship with a woman if the sparks flew). In fact, being a lesbian would have been much easier for me in a lot of ways....

Perhaps actually accepting and even finding an attaction for it confuses the woman about her own sexuality as well has having concerns about the man's sexuality. Maybe it's being secure in your sexuality and loving your SO enough to not worry abou theirs... and knowing that no matter what they won't cheat on you. Communication is probably a big factor in being secure.


when they see a guy dancing in stripper heels that looks prettier than most girls, it raises questions.. just the way it is.
it's still new to people, maybe the majority attitude will change once they get used to it

Questions? Yeah, like "How do I get her number?" ;-)


My bride fell in love with a wiry 6' tall manly man she didn't fall in love with a leggy 6' tall blond woman. Her life was turned upside down by all of this.

And that really is the whole thing in a nut shell. I'm accepting because I discovered my attraction for crossdressers. I like to think had my ex SO come out to me as a crossdresser I would have been accepting, but... I'll never know. I think it's quite one thing to know what you like and to have something you never knew existed about your SO sprung on you.

[PretzelGirl]

I am going to buck the trend here. I don't think women on the whole are as unaccepting as some of us make them out to be. At least at the base level. Yes, it makes a big difference if they are your wife, but there are far more women out there then just your wife so the statement that the majority won't accept includes them.

I think there are two major parts to acceptance. First is the way the person was raised and the social influences in their life. This is a hard thing to overcome or change, so it is what it is. Second is how we present ourselves to them and act around them. I think we do more damage to their perception of us then they can possibly do on their own. Look at all the discussions around here about hiding, sneaking around, lying, etc.... I wouldn't accept that either. Or even if we come out to them, how many of us turn it into a "secret agent" thing where there is always hiding and game playing? I would find that tiring also. One thing that I think has helped my development was that I listen to my family and friends when they say to just do something (like to stop worrying about something). They are right and if I didn't listen, they would grow tired of my antics. This behavior is what can make people start becoming unaccepting.

Do I thing all is rosy and everyone should be accepting? Absolutely not. But I also don't think it should be directly associated with women just not being accepting. I think the majority have a base level of acceptance in them, then it is our presentation of ourselves (not physical, just overall) and our continuing behavior that determines how accepting they stay.

[JulieK1980]

In my own humble opinion, I simply don't see this trend of non-acceptance.

After a horrible breakup caused by my ex-fiance discovering my crossdressing back in my early 20's, I swore to never begin a relationship without letting the person know up-front first. While I did of course come across a lot of women that simply would never accept it, the VAST majority either didn't care, were intrigued by it, or actively loved the idea. I think the assumption that genetic girls are not accepting comes from many that tell their wives after 20 years of marriage. From all I've seen it's the lie that causes the issue, not the crossdressing itself. I think many of us use the crossdressing as a scapegoat for our other less than desirable traits. It's easier to blame the dressing, than it is to accept our own character flaws, (such as lying.) Of course there is also the generational gap, maybe because I'm in my early 30's I see a different sampling of woman than those in their 40's and 50's.

Ultimately I've had many relationships fail over the years, but only ONE was ever related to the crossdressing. Most failed simply because I'm a hard person to live with. Not because I like to wear a dress. I've found my bisexuality for example to be a MUCH bigger issue to women, than wearing a dress. Even that pales to the number of relationships that failed because I'm a stubborn mule-headed fool.

Just looking at numbers though, if only 10% of woman accepted us, that would leave about 20 million women in the US that would happily date a crossdresser.

[sandra-leigh]

I go out and openly cross-dress and gender-bend. I have encountered very few women who have communicated discomfort or dislike about it. Let's see... six? And that includes the store clerk on her first day who was flustered more than anything, as she had never before experienced a seeming male asking to try on a skirt (she'd been fine helping me select things for myself.) Of the two that gave nasty looks, one was someone I had seen around a few times before and had a frown for everyone and everything; the other was a demanding woman who waltzed in to a nail salon, started trying to order people around, and was upset that the staff were dawdling about serving her, but were being attentive to me.

The active dislike I get is not much, but what there is of it is expressed far more vocally by males in the roughly 10 to 22 range. Pack age.

The women who give any indication of having noticed what I'm wearing tend to smile, or even chat. I am much more accepted socially when I'm gender bending or Dressed than when I'm apparently pure male.

Do these women take it the step further of "asking me out" or indicating they would like to be asked out? Well, not never, but generally NO. I've only ever had two "dates" in my life, both long before I had any idea I was a cross-dresser. I'm not "on the market", but based upon the reactions I have encountered, I'm relatively sure that if I were, I would find it easier to get dates now, as a known cross-dresser, then I ever had as a "male".

[ReineD]

The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

I agree, it's not easy to navigate for either spouse and thanks for pointing out the wife's POV. :hugs:

But another thing to keep in mind is, the higher degree of gender dysphoria, the fewer GGs will be able to whole heartedly accept trans expression, IMO. In other words, I think it is much easier for a hetero GG to come to terms with a husband who is dualgender (who wishes to express both aspects of his/her gender alternatively) than one who is unhappy in his male self and who wishes to eradicate his male gender.

Our forum members are all at different points along the gender continuum, so it is not surprising there are so many different opinions as to a GG's limits of acceptance and support.

[Lucy_Bella]

To be honest, I don't believe it has anything at all to do with dressing and more to do with how one expresses themself while dressed.. I feel, that for a GG in some cases ( most ) she fell in love with a man , not a man who wishes to express his/her femme side 24/7 after a few years in a relationship. I feel that this is where the GG feels cheated ,lure and lied to about her mate when in a relationship with a Transgender person..
If open and honest about the degree or spectrume level from the start or atleast telling your protental mate you are Transgender before or at the start of dating would make a big differance.. At the point the door is opened and choices can be easily made. We as Transgender'd males seeking mates complain about rejection due to expressing our true feelings with no acception from our mates is mostly our faults.. We go into a relationship assured we can stop dressing then only find out in time this isn't always true . So from the start , if rejected ,then yes a very shallow and un educated GG.. But never finding out down the road the big surprise..
I can only speak for myself as I express my feeling to a GG who would spring such an event on me after falling in love with her.. Would I accept that she has hairy leggs ,draws or glues on facial hair and shaves her head? Could I take he out in public or around my family or friends? Could I find her attractive still?

[Pythos]

But then there are the gender benders, like myself in many ways. Look at the sort of derision we get, even on this forum. Look at the "wouldn't it be strange" thread, or whatever it is called, and see what I mean. Many members here think it is better to present in full fem rather than a mix of the two, due to not confusing the general public. Because too many think in the binary. So what should done is entirely hide one's true sex. Yea that will earn respect.

If it is not about the clothes then why do we run the risk of ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain, if we choose to wear a skirt in public and NOT present as a woman? Why is it in the forums concerning men in skirts there are droves of women saying "I think it is great as long as it is not MY man"?

I do wonder how the women wearing jeans would have fared had the internet existed in those times. I wonder how many men would look at a woman in jeans of that time and gafaw at it, like I have seen some women do when it comes to men wearing leggings in place of jeans.

[Lucy_Bella]

But then there are the gender benders, like myself in many ways. Look at the sort of derision we get, even on this forum. Look at the "wouldn't it be strange" thread, or whatever it is called, and see what I mean. Many members here think it is better to present in full fem rather than a mix of the two, due to not confusing the general public. Because too many think in the binary. So what should done is entirely hide one's true sex. Yea that will earn respect.

If it is not about the clothes then why do we run the risk of ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain, if we choose to wear a skirt in public and NOT present as a woman? Why is it in the forums concerning men in skirts there are droves of women saying "I think it is great as long as it is not MY man"?

I do wonder how the women wearing jeans would have fared had the internet existed in those times. I wonder how many men would look at a woman in jeans of that time and gafaw at it, like I have seen some women do when it comes to men wearing leggings in place of jeans.

Good points Pythos, However I enjoy seeing women in jeans .. I think they look very attractive and still keep their Femme apperance ..When most women wear jeans they normally buy jeans made for women and are not out to emulate a man when wearing them.. Not to rain on your post just my opinion..

[2SpeedTranny]

Well... first, I don't believe that it's really a majority of women who have a problem with it. My perspective may be colored a bit by my age. What might be said of many 50+ women is not likely true of 30- women.

That said... it doesn't matter anyway. Crossdressers aren't a majority of men. We're a minority. So as long as there is a minority of women who at the least think it's cute, and my experience has demonstrated this to be true, then there is balance in the force.

Now, on an individual basis, if you think there aren't any women for you, then you're right. Moping about certain of your own undesirability is a self-fulfilling prophecy; you'll die a hermit.

[IMkrystal]

I wish more GG would honestly response to a post like this, because it gives insight into what or how Crossdressers can be better at sharing this part of themselves with women. This website continues to be a good source of information. If nearly 10% of the male populations is involved with activities expressed on this website I wish more GGs would interact with other parts of this forum just out of curiosity!:daydreaming:

[ReineD]

If nearly 10% of the male populations is involved with activities expressed on this website I wish more GGs would interact with other parts of this forum just out of curiosity!:daydreaming:

I don't want to derail the thread, but I think a TG ratio of 1:10 is highly optimistic. I think it's more in the vicinity of 1:250, or 1:500.

[LilSissyStevie]

So What? If 1% of hetero males were CDs then 99% of GGs could dispise it and there would still be a mate for everyone. We just have to look a little harder.

[Joanne f]

I wish more GG would honestly response to a post like this,:

The problem you have is what do they respond to , yes i know it says the majority will never accept cross dressers but you have to have a point of reference , as in cross dressing to what degree.
I expect quite a few will accept the wearing of underwear, a lot will accept the wearing of skirts , slightly less the wearing of dress`s then you get on to the full works , some will accept that some of the time but when you get to 24/7 and going out then there are going to be a lot less so there are to many variants for them to respond to , some one should ask " to what degree of cross dressing would you happily accept .

[CharleneT]

Suzy, like others have said, thank you for pointing out the other side of the fence. You are right that both partners need support and understanding.

I'd like to throw in a thought, if women knew from the beginning about a particular man's TG side, then they could make an informed decision about moving forward with their feelings/attraction. I think that a lot of the turmoil that engulfs relationships with a gender variant person are because of the "surprise, I'm not just me I'm also {fill in the blank}". Can't blame 'em at all for being upset.

[DonniDarkness]

Well said 2speed

. Moping about certain of your own undesirability is a self-fulfilling prophecy; you'll die a hermit

So moving past all the self loathing for a minute....

Do you as a crossdresser think that there is not fear on her side of the fence? Do you not think she would face ridicule from her peers? Or the fear of committing to a man who is on the path of full time transition?

So it not only us who go thru these emotions about acceptance, Its funny how so many say "Oh Woe Is Me...."
No matter what, we as crossdressers are stuck with being who we are. We have to deal with it. GG's have their stuff to deal with too.

Would you compound all the problems in your life based on something that you really dont understand?

Perspective People.....Try looking from the other side of the glass.

-Donni-

[charlie]

Hello Suzy!
You are right. For most women this is a given. My wife hates my CD and will never accept it. When asked why though (for my understanding) I get because it is "no normal", "it is wrong", and I cannot accept you as a man anymore. I just want to know what it is about wearing female clothes that can elicit such a huge amount of angst. It is an answer that will never be answered. CD is just not normal.

[ReineD]

I just want to know what it is about wearing female clothes that can elicit such a huge amount of angst. It is an answer that will never be answered. CD is just not normal.

Honestly Charlie, I think it has a lot more to do than just the clothes. How's your marriage in other areas? How emotionally connected does your wife feel to you? How's her sex life? You travel a lot and you go out a lot dressed to clubs and bars, where (understandably) in past posts you've admired the gorgeous women there. How does your wife feel about this? Does she feel as if she is your priority? How easily do you and your wife get beyond surface issues and communicate about the fundamental things in your relationship?

I'm asking the questions not to get answers here (this isn't the thread for it), but hopefully as a catalyst. You and your wife may need to look into this a little more deeply than you have been?

[Leslie Langford]

Lots of interesting POV's being expressed here, but the one thing that is becoming abundantly clear in this thread is that we, as crossdressers, are so wrapped up in ourselves that because of this, we often have our collective heads so far up our butts that we really do need to come up for air once in awhile.

While CDing might be a HUGE thing for some of us because of the paranoia that we have inflicted upon ourselves due to society's assumed disdain for both ourselves and our lifestyle, this is far from being a universal truth. The more I go out in public en femme, the more acceptance I find - especially among all manner of GG's. SA's in stores in particular treat me with dignity and respect, and practically fall all over themselves to help me. Rather than being looked upon as a persona non grata, they seem to find me both intriguing and fascinating. Those that do "read' me are often full of sincere and well-intentioned questions about my lifestyle, as well as admiration for my willingness and courage to express the real "me".

Here's another example: Some years ago, I joined the on-line forum of a Canadian women's magazine, initially to participate in discussions on beauty and fashion. I was very open about the fact that I was a crossdresser and my reason for being there. While some of the other members were a bit stand-offish initially, most accepted me just like one of the girls once I started to post on a regular basis and they got to know me as well as what I was able to contribute. Eventually, a sub-group of those GG's began to take a real shine to me and actively sought out my input on various topics. For reasons I won't go into here, some of the regular posters who were part of certain cliques (as in "mean girls" - sound familiar?) seemed to get jealous over the on-line friendships that I had started to develop there and began to give us a bit of a hard time - and me in particular. One of the more tech-savvy ladies among my "admirers" then suggested that she set up a dedicated Facebook page just for us to meet on to exchange news, view, tips, ideas etc. without all that other background noise. In fact, one of her prime motivators for this was the fact that she didn't want to see me leave the other forum and thereby miss out on some of the more spirited dialogs that we as a group had begun to engage in. So here I am now, happily chatting away on this shared Facebook site on a regular basis with my on-line GG gal-pals and being treated just like one of the girls - even to the point of routinely being referred to as "she".

So, the moral of my story is that if you act the part and exhibit enough self-confidence, people will eventually treat you the way you present yourself without thinking twice about it. In a sense, they become "color-blind" in the same way that most people of different races interact with each other these days by focusing on what they have in common as opposed to what separates them.

Granted, when this comes to SO's or friends or loved ones etc. who have a hard time wrapping their minds around our newly-discovered female sides when they have formerly only known us as "manly" men, this can sometimes present an insurmountable challenge. But as for the average GG - unless they are of the dyed-in-the-wool, "old school" persuasion - most are quite willing to accept us for what we are without undue judgement - at least in my experience so far...

[IMkrystal]

there are to many variants for them to respond to , someone should ask " to what degree of cross dressing would you happily accept . "Variants" is the key word here. It is too bad that many of us only see the extreme from a CDer's point of view and from a woman's point of view. We both need to give up stereotypes!!

[JulieC]

I utterly reject the thread title, not out of opinion per se but out of observed reality. We've run polls about this here before. I've read experiences of people here, heard experiences from others outside of this forum, and have my own experiences. Nothing in any of that leads me to even BEGIN to believe that a majority of women will not accept crossdressing.

I really think it's selling women, as a group, incredibly short.

There will always be women who are opposed enough to crossdressing that they'd divorce over it. There will always be women who are excited about their husband crossdressing, and actively support and encourage their spouse in TG pursuits. From everything I've seen over the years, those two either-end extreme populations represent 5-10% of all women, each. From there, the remaining 80-90% of women span the spectrum of acceptance. Some accept a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and try to live life. Some accept and support, don't mind discussion, but don't want to see their husbands en femme. Some are ambivalent, take it or leave it, and it doesn't affect them negatively or positively. Some casually support, occasionally buying things, or slightly encouraging. Some are willing to more actively support, occasionally going out with their husbands en femme, and frequently being on the lookout for a great bargain on clothes/shoes/makeup for their spouse.

I readily grant that no girl fantasizes as a child about her knight in shining white wedding dress. It's just not the fantasy that's imbued in children, not what little girls aspire to. But, similarly on the other extreme, little girls aren't sent to a formal programming school to brainwash them into thinking that crossdressers are the spawn of Satan. From everything I've seen, most women might not be tickled pink about their husbands crossdressing, but once informed are willing to work with it, learn, understand, adjust, and grow. Many realize the man they love and married (or intend to marry) isn't just the "male" aspects, but all of them; even parts people would typically call "femme".

The idea that most women are just not capable of or are unwilling to adjust and grow is, frankly, rather absurd to me; and I'm being kind here.

[Marcia63]

Hi Suzy,

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones now.. First time round I wasn't!

I think it is difficult to generalise, as oils have different viscosities, and some can mix easier than others!

My wife's acceptance has not been an easy road, but gradually over time she has come to understand.

We have a strong and loving relationship, and she appreciates the feminine side to my nature.

LOL
Marcia

[ReineD]

There will always be women who are opposed enough to crossdressing that they'd divorce over it. There will always be women who are excited about their husband crossdressing, and actively support and encourage their spouse in TG pursuits. From everything I've seen over the years, those two either-end extreme populations represent 5-10% of all women, each. From there, the remaining 80-90% of women span the spectrum of acceptance. Some accept a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and try to live life. Some accept and support, don't mind discussion, but don't want to see their husbands en femme. Some are ambivalent, take it or leave it, and it doesn't affect them negatively or positively. Some casually support, occasionally buying things, or slightly encouraging. Some are willing to more actively support, occasionally going out with their husbands en femme, and frequently being on the lookout for a great bargain on clothes/shoes/makeup for their spouse.

I readily grant that no girl fantasizes as a child about her knight in shining white wedding dress. It's just not the fantasy that's imbued in children, not what little girls aspire to. But, similarly on the other extreme, little girls aren't sent to a formal programming school to brainwash them into thinking that crossdressers are the spawn of Satan. From everything I've seen, most women might not be tickled pink about their husbands crossdressing, but once informed are willing to work with it, learn, understand, adjust, and grow. Many realize the man they love and married (or intend to marry) isn't just the "male" aspects, but all of them; even parts people would typically call "femme".

The idea that most women are just not capable of or are unwilling to adjust and grow is, frankly, rather absurd to me; and I'm being kind here.

Wow ... very well said!!

There is quite a big difference between:


the attitudes of both, the GGs who frequent this forum and the GGs that the CDers who are out of the closet write about and,

the perception of how *most* GGs feel by the CDers who are still deeply in the closet.


I've often wondered if sometimes a GG is viewed as being totally non-supportive because she isn't where her husband would like her to be in terms of her participation. And also if the real issues in their marriage are much deeper than just the CDing.

[CherryZips]

From everything I've seen over the years, those two either-end extreme populations represent 5-10% of all women, each. From there, the remaining 80-90% of women span the spectrum of acceptance. Some accept a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and try to live life.

But can you really call DATT acceptance? I honestly don't think so. They are after all meant to be a couple. I know people might be happy with this arrangement but I don't call that acceptance. Its a form of toleration which is different.

[JulieC]

I've often wondered if sometimes a GG is viewed as being totally non-supportive because she isn't where her husband would like her to be in terms of her participation. And also if the real issues in their marriage are much deeper than just the CDing.


But can you really call DATT acceptance? I honestly don't think so. They are after all meant to be a couple. I know people might be happy with this arrangement but I don't call that acceptance. Its a form of toleration which is different.

I've been informed that my post is hijacking the thread, so I'll back out here.

But, I do want to respond to a general concept arising in the above two quotes.

I've seen a pattern among CDers that almost (almost) regardless of how accepting and supportive a wife is, CDers very typically crave more acceptance and support, and wish there was just a bit more.

How do you define 'acceptance'? At its raw base, the ability to successfully continue the marriage seems a reasonable metric. But, for every metric I or anyone else could come up with, others will have a different definition of what 'acceptance' is.

With that, adieu.

[ReineD]

JulieC, although the OP has an excellent point and she started this thread to encourage CDers to be understanding and compassionate with their wives, she did say in her title that the majority of women will never accept. This was reinforced by several others who responded. I hardly think that your opinion to the contrary constitutes hijacking the thread.

[Angiemead12]

Yup most women get weirded out, I have tried telling some friends and they still prefer me as a guy because that is what they are used too. I count my blessings everyday for my supportive partner, She is so understanding, sometimes I feel bad for being to girly because she did fall in love with a man.

[Susan Hewitt]

i agree with the op that the majority of women would probably not accept it but i don't think we should accept their non acceptance

[Jenny Gurl]

I googled for the crossdressers site the other day and saw a similar site for crossdressers wives. I was curious so I read on the forum for a while hoping to get a little insight of the issue from the S.O. perspective. I read a little while and there are a few very upset people out there. There are others who pass the anger onto other people who are trying to understand it. I was tempted to link them here to give them a place to ask questions from the horses mouth so to speak but I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Here is the site in case someone wants to go read a bit to get a sample from the other side. http://www.crossdresserswives.com/ I don't really know if it is getting more acceptable or not. I just know I was born this way and I never planned to deceive anyone, I just want to be myself without being ridiculed and judged. I know passable is not suppose to be a goal, but it sure would make it easier to avoid all the judgmental people.

[ReineD]

I read a little while and there are a few very upset people out there. There are others who pass the anger onto other people who are trying to understand it.

Jenny, I'm afraid you've found THE premium site for intolerance towards CDing. Unsuspecting GGs end up leaving the site because of the handful (yes, it is just a handful) of bitter women who run it. I've no doubt there were many other issues in these women's marriages that prompted them go on such a rampage against the CDing. There are women on that site who have deep religious objections to the CDing and like it or not, there are some CDing husbands who do have anger issues, sexual issues, and who abuse drugs and alcohol.

"Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

[JulieK1980]

I googled for the crossdressers site the other day and saw a similar site for crossdressers wives. I was curious so I read on the forum for a while hoping to get a little insight of the issue from the S.O. perspective. I read a little while and there are a few very upset people out there. There are others who pass the anger onto other people who are trying to understand it. I was tempted to link them here to give them a place to ask questions from the horses mouth so to speak but I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Here is the site in case someone wants to go read a bit to get a sample from the other side. http://www.crossdresserswives.com/ I don't really know if it is getting more acceptable or not. I just know I was born this way and I never planned to deceive anyone, I just want to be myself without being ridiculed and judged. I know passable is not suppose to be a goal, but it sure would make it easier to avoid all the judgmental people.


Wow. After perusing that site, I can't help but feel sad. Sad for the women who go there for "support" and essentially get told to divorce the "diseased" husbands, and sad for the crossdressers who probably have no idea of the ideas being placed into their spouses minds. The lack of any empathy, the lack of any insight, the shunning of anything remotely positive for the crossdresser. To think it maintains a "non-profit" status. I truly feel sorry for the women on there that obviously suffered some severe emotional trauma to cause them to hate so much. :( How many lives were ruined by the advice on that site? Well intentioned or not.....

[ReineD]

Jody ... it is only women like themselves who stay there. Others move on and come here! :)

Seriously, there's no amount of hate mongering that will will poison a GG against the CDing if she has a good relationship with her husband to begin with.

[JulieK1980]

Jody ... it is only women like themselves who stay there. Others move on and come here! :)

Seriously, there's no amount of hate mongering that will will poison a GG against the CDing if she has a good relationship with her husband to begin with.

A very good point.

*Goes to hug wife*

[AKAMichelle]

I have to disagree with you. I talked with a friend of mine last night about why she accepted my cd'ing. She told me how the cd'ing was a completion of my male side. It answered questions of why I did certain things in male mode. I have asked others and they had similar comments. I haven't had the rejection that some of you have. I still don't understand it. Most of the women who have accepted me are from the demographic that people say will never accept you.

Christian / Republican / Members of Focus on the Family / Missionaries so I don't understand the issue. I understand that there is an issue, but I haven't had to deal with it much.

[busker]

I'm going to make a generalization here and wonder out loud whether women are generally not accepting of men being cders because why would anyone in their right mind want to emulate a "second class" citizen?
women here, and around the world have been treated so badly in the past and are still treated badly in many places that their initial reaction is unconscious of the fact that their so has decided to be a 2nd class citizen.
I don't need to state the kinds of derogatory remarks that we have all heard or made in our lives. If a women looks at her man, she thinks that HE is the 1st class citizen that maybe she wants to emulate. The accepting women maybe have a higher opinion of themselves that those who reject a cder.
Otherwise, it seems hard to think why , in some way, a woman wouldn't be a little flattered by her man's interest in feminine things--after all, she is a woman, right?
so, is it self-loathing at some level?
why do we hate winners and successful people--is it because we are not them?
It can't be because we like to wear panties--they are actually more comfortable than men's underwear generally.
also, I think that clothes are awash in sexual messages, and that may also make women uncomfortable. there are a number of us who have gynecomastia and while it could be fun to wear a low cut sweater, it would be sending a really bad signal to a lot of folks who would see us. So while I have the boobs, I am not allowed to show them, because of the sexual signals and perhaps competition. Last summer when it was hot here, I wore t-shirts but my boobs were quite prominent and prior to my growth, the women nearby would chat me up, but more then ignored me when they saw my boobs.
Like crossdressing itself, there may be a great number of hidden issues that we may not discover.:2c:

[t-girlxsophie]

I think the great thing about this site,is the feeling of support we all have whether we be cd,ts,gg,and even if we disagree on certain points we discuss them with respect for the other person.
I had a look at the CDwives site and when a wife expressed any contentment with their SOs dressing they were told,in no certain terms they were not welcome on there,that was an eye opener for me

[DonniDarkness]

Yes that site caters to haters, and from what i have read in the guestbook, No accepting wives are there, it seems to be a soapbox for women rdy to divorce their husbands.

Most of them seem hurt or angry because their husbands have decieved them. And more than a few posts recommend outing him to all his friends.....lol, evil....just plain evil...

Many of the wives who do not accept seem to be caught up in what they lose from us because we Crossdress. Maybe beacuase they were bad at communicating as husband and wife before CD'ing came to the forefront?

Which brings me to my point here, many Married Couples, get married, start a life, have children, go into debt together....without really knowing each other. I see so many of my married friends go thru these motions and after years of being together they say something like "i dont know what happened to us"..... Its because they got caught up in what they thought the world thinks a "Good Marriage" or "Healthy Relationship" is, when the whole time they have neglected to ask each other what they wanted out of their relationship. Or to speak up when they need romance or attention or sympathy towards their problems they face. And that doesnt even count the difficulties and challenges of being involved with a TG person.

I have been asked by close friends many times- "How do you two do it? Married for so long and still love to be around each other" ......my answer is "Its because we are best friends before we are husband and wife"

Maybe at the end of the day, her acceptance for me as a crossdresser is because she knows me so well as a friend. Or maybe its because she just loves me for who i am....her husband...the crossdresser she fell in love with....

Just being me,
-Donni-

[cordgrass]

I've said this before and I'll say it again--Captain Jack Sparrow


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V-GwGZZqes

Watch the way he prances around. I'm not saying he is a crossdresser, but he's certainly playing one in the movie. Take away the beard and he's en femme. And Sparrow's definitely an extremely popular sex symbol, the ladies eat him up.

[monica.missil]

I tend to agree suzy. I know in my situation, my ex(when she was soon to be ex) accepted it when I told her of my crossdressing. But now that we have both moved on she tends to just ignore it. Makes me think she accepted it at first to ease her quilt. There are exceptions as we see on this forum. But I have found that a majority are not accepting, even when they live alternative lifestyles themselves.

[ReineD]

Maybe at the end of the day, her acceptance for me as a crossdresser is because she knows me so well as a friend. Or maybe its because she just loves me for who i am....her husband...the crossdresser she fell in love with....

Bingo! This is worth repeating over, and over again. :)

[Jenny Gurl]

Jody ... it is only women like themselves who stay there. Others move on and come here! :)

Seriously, there's no amount of hate mongering that will will poison a GG against the CDing if she has a good relationship with her husband to begin with.

Thanks, I needed to hear that. I stumbled upon it on a google search, and found myself reading for a while wanting to gain knowledge from a different perspective. There was a couple who were simply ate up with hate and I could feel it. The sad part was they were spreading it in the disguise of trying to be helpful to a person who is in a confused state of mind and trying to understand the concept. The advice given to a few was horrible ideas for anyone who wanted to try and keep a marriage together. I don't think I will be back to continue reading. My S.O. and I have a good relationship and have found a balance. She appreciates the attributes that being part girl in the brain have brought to the relationship. She came from another marriage with a husband who did not seem to be caring or want to allow her to be herself at all. From what she has told me, I hope I can be everything he wasn't because she deserves the best. Even if she did not understand or accept my being born a CD, I swear she is truly an angel. A very rare find indeed. Thanks again for the kind words.

[Polly R]

Have to agree with just about everything that everyone has said. The one thing I have found in the couple of CDers groups I've been to is that the majority of CDers I've met tend to be wearing blinkers and go off along their own path believing they are self righteous and that other 'normal' people should accept them. They get very intense about what we do to the detriment of everyone, especially their partners. To a certain extent, I have to hold up my hand to my (reasonably supportive) wife and say that on occasions I too have behaved a bit that way but I do try my best to moderate and see things through her eyes. She married someone who presented as a male, behaved like a male and then started to turn into Polly once or twice a week... Yikes, it was a bit rocky in those early days and can be from time to time even now when she's feeling perhaps a little fragile about Polly seemingly starting to get in the way of our marriage.

My two penneth!

xx Polly

[katrinakat]

If you accept and love yourself, other will too! It's all about deciding who you want to let into your "pink world". Don't rush it, and little by little u, dressing in femme becomes less of a "THING"!!!
I've dressed so often with some of my girlfriends that its not even noticed. OK, of course its noticed, but its become more typical and less a big deal.

Lastly, don't take yourself too serious!! Have fun!!!!!!

[ReineD]

My S.O. and I have a good relationship and have found a balance. She appreciates the attributes that being part girl in the brain have brought to the relationship.

Exactly! :) I'm sure that if your wife stumbled upon that hate site, she'd roll her eyes and move on. She would not be able to relate to all that hate. :hugs:

[t-girlxsophie]

maybe its because she just loves me for who i am....her husband...the crossdresser she fell in love with.

Donni,you have hit the nail on the head,My wife knew the whole story when we first met so it was easy for her to accept my dressing,who she fell in love with was her crossdressing man,and as long as the balance is right we have a healthy,happy relationship

:hugs:Sophie

[DonniDarkness]

The couples that i read about here, that have great relationships all have one thing in common.... They communicate and respect one another for who they are. Its inspiring to know that others have found a balance too.

I think the moment when i truly understood the she really did accept both sides of me was when she told me "I want you to know that if there is a point in which you would like to go further with all this, i want you to take that next step. Ill be here for you"

To me that was a statement of unconditional love, it meant that no matter what, she would support me in all my freakyness. Its funny, as we go thru our own acceptance, our GG's go thru theirs as well....when you both come full circle with it Crossdressing as a whole becomes just another Day/evening together as a couple.

Like Katrina says here:

OK, of course its noticed, but its become more typical and less a big deal.

Katrina i think its because we become comfortable around our SO's and that in turn makes it more comfortable to be around us while we are dressed. It becomes just natural.

Also, spending time together while dressed helps to quell her fears about your desires as a crossdresser. My favorite place to be when dressed is close to her.

Some thoughts this morning,
-Donni-

[ReineD]

Also, spending time together while dressed helps to quell her fears about your desires as a crossdresser. My favorite place to be when dressed is close to her.

That's another great point. I wish more people would get this. :)

[Frédérique]

The majority of women will never accept. Show them love and understanding. See it from their side.

Which implies that there is a minority of women who WILL accept – you get to decide who to be with, correct? I’m OK with most women not accepting – you can’t please everyone, but you must please yourself first and foremost…

Show them love and understanding? Sure, but isn’t that a two-way street? Come to an understanding (by any and all means) about crossdressing with an open mind but don’t expect any satisfactory explanations, because even the crossdressers can’t agree on the whys and wherefores of what they do…

See it from their side? Will they reciprocate, and begin to appreciate that some males don’t embrace their male-ness with the same enthusiasm and fervor? To begin with, I don’t like my MALE clothes – can you DIG IT? We’ll continue this discussion later…
:battingeyelashes: