'You Want to Be a Girl, Don't You?'

[scherylnmke]

Hi All,

Friday night I'm checking out this site and my wife walks into the room and declares it's 'That time or the month'. She then starts to tell me the details, to which I hold up my hand and say, 'Please, no details!'
'Well now, you dress, wear makeup and such, you can't have all of the good without the bad, after all, you want to be a girl, don't you?'
I must've looked like a deer in headlights! She knows I have no desire to go that far and I know she would'nt want me to. She then tells me that at times she wished I were so she would have my complete sympathy.
Has something like this ever happened to you? I'm sure we've all thought about being a real girl, but not really have we thought about that aspect. It did elicit an interesting chat between us, just thought I'd share.

[Kelly DeWinter]

discussing 'that time' is something a lot of women do, it is a bit of bonding, in a different sort of way, I worked as a computer consultant, and found that that topic is one women share with one another on a regualr basis. So in for a penny , in for a pound, it won't hurt to at least listen. I think your wife was actualy opening up to you.

[Michelle 2]

And just wait till you both have to go through menapause together. Thats a real blast!

Michelle

[Cynthia Anne]

I, myself would be happy to take the bad with the good! But I realize not everyone would for personal reasons! Sounds like your wife is excepting and has a sense of humor which is great!

[Kathi Lake]

Share, honey!! Let her dish. You think you're squeamish? Look at it from her perspective. She obviously wants to get closer to you, let her.

:)

Kathi

[LilSissyStevie]

LOL! My wife does that to me all the time. I tell her, "No, you misunderstood. I don't want to be a girl, just girly." as I plug my ears and hum Yankee Doodle.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Scheryln,
Yes. I've been there. My wife was very accepting, or so I thought, to begin with. It wasn't until I started HRT. without discussing it with her first, that everything seemed to blow up in my face. As my body, over time, changed and I started to get mood swings the gap between us got bigger and bigger. When I finally told her about the hormones she said "AH HA! That explains why you've been such a bitch!" She felt a little empathy for me but felt betrayed that I didn't talk to her first. "It serves you right! Now you know how I feel sometimes. Doesn't feel good. Does it?" She was right.
Then she asked "So now you've decided to go all the way without even letting me be a part of the decision? Without even caring how I might feel about being married to a woman?" She was understandably mad. Who wouldn't be?
At that time I was too confused. I was afraid she would have said "No."
I didn't give her the opportunity so that gave her only one choice, for now, keep on accepting because she still loved me. I made a few more mistakes which I'm not going to go into. But I think it was when our new neighbor moved in and came over to introduce herself that I started to realize that maybe I was going too far. She said "It's really nice to have a lesbian couple next door." And my wife looked horrified. Our relationship never was the same after that. Suddenly we were just to people that lived together. Sure we were still best friends that enjoyed each others company but the intimacy that a husband and wife share was gone. We tried to rekindle it but we had become so similar that it didn't "feel right".
It all ended with these fateful words "When I look into your eyes I don't see You anymore." It was then that I knew my marriage was over.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. We had always considered each other to be soul mates. She told me later on the phone what she saw.

nuff said.

[sissystephanie]

My late wife knew from the very beginning of our marriage that I was a CD. She also knew that I had no intention of ever becoming a woman!! So she never talked to me about those very womanly things, thank heavens! We talked about a lot of other things, but not that.

However, I loved her (and still do) so if she had wnated to talk about them I would have. Talking won't kill you, at least not usually!! And it just might bring you closer together!!

[crystalann]

For myself someone that did transition I would have taking the good with the bad. I have told others there was no check list of life on being a women. But as I said I would take it all to just feel right within myself.:D

[Wendy_Marie]

Hows that song go...I want to talk about me, I want to talk about I, I want to talk about number one etc, etc.....
In a few years talking about her menstral cycle will seem like nothing.....says Wendy Marie who has been married for 26 years in March.

[suchacutie]

She's right. Listen to your wife.

Why is this important? Your wife grew up as a girl. This is a foreign concept to those of us who grew up as boys, especially if there were no sisters in the house! There cannot be too much information that she could share with you. Soak it up like a sponge, use what seems to work for you, but remember it all.

Lastly, this is girl/girl bonding, and your wife is letting you in! Most of this forum is already jealous of you! And, if you are blessed with being married long enough, talking about her cycle is the least of what might befall you!

This is our 38th year, and do we have stories for you!!!! :)

tina

[Stephenie S]

I agree.

Listen, don't shut her out. This is a good thing.

[cathie]

all agree as do I, listen, don't be so defensive, respect the hormones too!

[Sophie86]

After 23 years of marriage, there's not too much either of us can say about our bodily functions that would shock the other.

I have to say, though, that the monthly package is one of the top five reasons I'm glad I was born a man.

[Jessica_Dillon]

It's already been said...but they're all right! Listen to your wife. She's relating to you on a very personal and female level. Enjoy the connection you and your wife have!

[docrobbysherry]

With no SO urging me I wondered what being female mite REALLY feel like! Periods? Lite weight stuff,I thot!

I went straight to trying out what being 6+ months PG felt like! Kind of unique for awhile. But, after a full day I'd had enuff!
No idea how females can stand 4 to 6 months of THAT! But, I can certainly sympathize!
I don't think I can EVER really understand what it would feel like to BE a female!
I wonder if it's the same for THEM?

[Persephone]

She's right. Listen to your wife.

Lastly, this is girl/girl bonding, and your wife is letting you in! Most of this forum is already jealous of you! And, if you are blessed with being married long enough, talking about her cycle is the least of what might befall you!

tina

I think Tina and most of the others here said it very well. The most important part in what she wrote is "Listen." Men almost always want to jump in and "solve problems," it's what they do. Women, on the other hand, listen to each other and offer emotional support, not advice.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Kate Simmons]

We try to circumvent it by enjoying just the "glitter" part of being a woman but it's really not the same. Having empathy and showing understanding goes a long way though.:)

[erickka]

My wife vents to me about this on a regular basis. She also is quite top heavy, and her back hurts on occasion from having to carry the load. She has wished, on more than one occasion, that I could just once experience the discomfort of both issues. I do sympathize with her fully, and it does make her feel better
especially after a nice back rub!

[KrystalA]

Well, I don't really want to BE a girl, but I absolutely love feeling girly and looking as much like one as possible. But yes, i've often wished I could know what it feels like to have female "equipment", if I could have it for just a couple days and then go back to being male. I would imagine I'm not alone in that vein of thought.

[Mary Lee]

I think it would be nice to know what GGs talk about and be able to join in on the conversations. I can talk about bras, panties, support ware, pantyhose, skirts, dresses, tops and a little about makeup but I am sure there are other thinks to talk about. Maybe pretend I have had the same experiences.

[cordgrass]

With no SO urging me I wondered what being female mite REALLY feel like! Periods? Lite weight stuff,I thot!

I went straight to trying out what being 6+ months PG felt like! Kind of unique for awhile. But, after a full day I'd had enuff!
No idea how females can stand 4 to 6 months of THAT! But, I can certainly sympathize!
I don't think I can EVER really understand what it would feel like to BE a female!
I wonder if it's the same for THEM?

Did you make yourself throw up three times a day? :puke::ohgoon:

[Karren H]

I get accused of looking like a girl and wanting to be a girl all the time but I really don't... Want to be one. I'm such a wuss when it comes to pain.... Monthly plus child birth!! No frigging way your pulling something like that out of any of my orifices!

[Kate Lynn]

I don't want to be a girl,I don't even try to emmulate women in the way I dress,this is the look I like.

[Jaydee]

Sherlynmke,
I agree with many of the posters. Listen to your wife, and be empathetic (or at least try). We have been married for 35 years. My wife and I have always been very open about everything like this, and I have heard all the ins and outs of every bodily function. Don't be squeamish. It gives her someone to talk to about it, and I think brings us closer. In addition it gives you a perspective on what a REAL woman's life is like. I don't envy it a bit.

Jaydee

[scherylnmke]

Thanks for all the responses! My wife and I have been married for 20 years, and this is not the first time this has come up. The response she gave me is what made me post! She rarely jokes like that, so it really caught me off guard, it was a pretty good laugh. The Toby Keith song 'I Wanna Talk About Me' always makes us sing along and the line 'polish on your toes, runs in your hose, an god knows well talk about your clothes!' we've agreed fits for both of us. I do try to support her at those times but not knowing how it really feels only takes it so far. Thanks again for the responses!
Scheryl

[JohnH]

My wife is always saying that I want to be a woman. I can't convincingly disagree with her. She has even asked me when I was going to start taking hormones several times. She also teases me about my breasts (B cup).

Johanna

[sometimes_miss]

discussing 'that time' is something a lot of women do <snip>
Uh, not as much as you might think. I've been working in a predominantly female profession for >30 years, and rarely hear any of them mention 'that time' unless one of them needs to borrow 'supplies' that she doesn't have. I'm usually the only guy in the unit; they DO discuss pretty much everything else that we would be horrified to hear about, though. I grew up being told that a man should never 'kiss and tell'. But women pretty much feel free to discuss their men's shortcomings with each other when it comes to sexual activities, as well as how well or how not so well we are endowed. If you have sex with one woman in an office, and you are either well endowed or smaller than average, every woman in that office is going to know. Only the average guys don't get mentioned in that regard very often, simply because it's not an interesting topic to be average.

[SuzanneBender]

Scheryl your post works on so many levels. I'm glad you over came the initially male impulse to run screaming from the room and talked with her about it. As most of us know, men are indoctrinated from an early age to shy away from this topic. I can't describe the will power that it is taking me right now to overcome my Y chromosome and the societally conditioned need for me to make some kind sophomoric joke at this point. However, you did it and you shared something that is normally reserved for females.

That is one of the advantages of a marriage to a TG person. We have more in common with each other than your typical marriage. Our appreciation for that which is feminine is advantageous to our relationship if all involved can find some balance with the non-conformity of being TG.

[Lissa Stevens]

After having helped my wife through a medical condition that caused it to be "that time of the month" 24/7 for a little over a year I find your situation a little funny. At first I was a little squeamish but it faded quickly as I had to help her deal. It didn't take long before buying pads and tampons was just like buying bread. No big deal. Give her a hug, apologize and remember, it's a biological function just like breathing.

[Kali]

I run an app on my phone to track that time of the month for my fiancee. Since she is on the edge of menopause (and its hormone related mood swings) it's quite an adventure

[linda allen]

My wife vents to me about this on a regular basis. She also is quite top heavy, and her back hurts on occasion from having to carry the load. She has wished, on more than one occasion, that I could just once experience the discomfort of both issues. I do sympathize with her fully, and it does make her feel better
especially after a nice back rub!

My wife made the comment one time that I should have to lug those things around all day to see what it felt like. Well, I've done it but she doesn't know about it. :heehee:

I'm still kicking myself for not volunteering to try it. :sad:

[linda allen]

Well, I don't really want to BE a girl, but I absolutely love feeling girly and looking as much like one as possible. But yes, i've often wished I could know what it feels like to have female "equipment", if I could have it for just a couple days and then go back to being male. I would imagine I'm not alone in that vein of thought.
No, you're not alone. My fantasy is to swap bodies with my wife for two weeks.

[VanessaVW]

I have to agree with the other posters who have said to cherish that your wife understands and is letting you have some more insight. It sounds like wonderful discussion between the two of you. It will bring you closer as a couple. We call it "shared experiences."

[VanessaVW]

No, you're not alone. My fantasy is to swap bodies with my wife for two weeks.

That's sweet! Mine asked me "if you could be anyone on earth for one day, who would you be?" My answer (honestly) was "you". She loved it!

[linda allen]

Uh, not as much as you might think. I've been working in a predominantly female profession for >30 years, and rarely hear any of them mention 'that time' unless one of them needs to borrow 'supplies' that she doesn't have. I'm usually the only guy in the unit; they DO discuss pretty much everything else that we would be horrified to hear about, though. I grew up being told that a man should never 'kiss and tell'. But women pretty much feel free to discuss their men's shortcomings with each other when it comes to sexual activities, ........

I was working it the office one day concentrating on setting up a computer when I realized that the two women present were talking about having anal sex with their boyfriends. They were oblivious to me and just having a regular conversation. These were women I had worked with for years, one young, and the other middle aged. One of the boyfriends also worked there and was a friend of mine.

If I hadn't been so shocked, I would have just stopped and listened. As it was, I said something and they changed the subject.

[linda allen]

I run an app on my phone to track that time of the month for my fiancee. Since she is on the edge of menopause (and its hormone related mood swings) it's quite an adventure
Wait 'till you find out how long menopause lasts!

[linda allen]

That's sweet! Mine asked me "if you could be anyone on earth for one day, who would you be?" My answer (honestly) was "you". She loved it!

I wish mine would ask that. I think I'll ask her and see what she says.

[Leslie Langford]

And just wait till you both have to go through menapause together. Thats a real blast!

Michelle

LOL! - Someone once described going through menopause with an SO makes one think back fondly to the good old days of PMS...

[nikkijo]

Scheryln,
Yes. I've been there. My wife was very accepting, or so I thought, to begin with. It wasn't until I started HRT. without discussing it with her first, that everything seemed to blow up in my face. As my body, over time, changed and I started to get mood swings the gap between us got bigger and bigger. When I finally told her about the hormones she said "AH HA! That explains why you've been such a bitch!" She felt a little empathy for me but felt betrayed that I didn't talk to her first. "It serves you right! Now you know how I feel sometimes. Doesn't feel good. Does it?" She was right.
Then she asked "So now you've decided to go all the way without even letting me be a part of the decision? Without even caring how I might feel about being married to a woman?" She was understandably mad. Who wouldn't be?
At that time I was too confused. I was afraid she would have said "No."
I didn't give her the opportunity so that gave her only one choice, for now, keep on accepting because she still loved me. I made a few more mistakes which I'm not going to go into. But I think it was when our new neighbor moved in and came over to introduce herself that I started to realize that maybe I was going too far. She said "It's really nice to have a lesbian couple next door." And my wife looked horrified. Our relationship never was the same after that. Suddenly we were just to people that lived together. Sure we were still best friends that enjoyed each others company but the intimacy that a husband and wife share was gone. We tried to rekindle it but we had become so similar that it didn't "feel right".
It all ended with these fateful words "When I look into your eyes I don't see You anymore." It was then that I knew my marriage was over.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. We had always considered each other to be soul mates. She told me later on the phone what she saw.

nuff said.

been there learned from that..... cost me $$$$ and a great friend and spouse

[tammy tee]

I enjoy these conversations with my wife. I also enjoy taking the opportunity to playfully tease her that I enjoy being a woman without the hormonal roller coaster. I love working at being a girl with male sex drive. Probably makes me the type of girl you wouldn't take home to mom.

Tammy