Transitioning advice

[sheridan]

So im having a hard time deciding on wether to begin hrt or not. My concerns are mostly my age (36) and my career. I do feel hrt could help me mentally and physically. I dont know what to expect taking them later in life, especially how much my body would change. My other big concern is work I worl in a field where it would pretty much be the end of my career, its a field largely intolerant of this sort of thing. So what could I expect if I decided to start hrt, I dont think I could live full time at this point in life, so I'm not really looking for that, would hormonex produce such a drastic change that it would be obvious, or is it something that could be disguided. Such as people would think I just look younger, or theres something different but they couldn't quite figure it out. Breasts could be disguised fairly easily.

[CharleneT]

Hello Sheridan,

The short answer is that the changes from HRT are fairly slow and gentle (wrst looks that is). Depending on how you handle it all, your co-workers are not likely to notice quickly. Maybe not at all. One problem with what I just said is that the "results" are un-predictable. For many it is as I described, especially if you are older. For others, things happen more quickly. While that is uncommon in folks over 25 or so, it does happen. A bigger question is what do you see as your future ? Do you want to transition to female at some point ? For some TS folks the emotional affects of HRT are all they want or need - for many reasons. There is a commonly held thought that once you are on HRT, your ideas about full transition can change. Sorta slippery slope affect. I'd say that is true for many. As general advice, I would hesitate to go on HRT if you were not planning on transitioning. But there are many ways of dealing with gender issues.

[StaceyJane]

If you are seriously considering it now you will probably always be thinking about it.
Sometimes looking too far ahead can stop you from ever moving forward.

[renee k]

Hi Sheridan,

If your not in counseling, with a gender therapist, that would be a place to start. Your going to need a letter from a counselor to start HRT. It's hard to tell from your post if your seeing one or not. If you are, I would discuss it with your counselor. As Charlene said the changes will be slow and gentle. So it is possible to start hormones without the whole world noticing. But there will a time when the changes HRT brings become very noticable.
I started HRT under an endo's care after self medicating for a little while. The changes I've noticed has been my skin becoming softer and clearer some breast growth and body fat redistribution. Plus my mental attitude has changed for the better. I am transitioning on a time line my therapist and I have reached. I'm sixty one and going down this road. Your still young and I see from your profile your an emt. Have considered changing careers, like going into nursing?

Just my two cents!

Renee

[Stephenie S]

You are an EMT?

Whatever gave you the idea that would be an intolerant field? I think that's just your imagination. There are PLENTY of female EMTs around and they would be upset to hear you say that they can't do their job due to discrimination and intolerance.

In general, the medical profession is one of the more tolerant fields around. Really!

S

[DeeDee1974]

Sheridan,

I am your age and started hrt 5 months ago. I had gyno for several years, so my breast growth was already there, but I have noticed some additional subtle growth. The bigger deal to me has been the emotional changes. Yes, I am more emotional, but overall have a greater sense of well being. I am happy, the anger is gone. You have a long life to live don't spend it not doing what you want. First, as others have mentioned, go to a therapist to sort things out.

[sheridan]

Ems is a very masculine frat boy field, they've fourteen rid of employees who are too gay/ lesbian. Trust me its not a tolerant field, youd gave a very hard time getting your P card, as a lot of preceptors fail people just for being female/gay/young/ugly etc... If you got a fire preceptor its even worse. there is a doctor (endo) that dosent require a therapist reccomendation. Any way I dont want my decision to ruin my career I love what I do and I came very far to get where im at. I would just like to take it easy and at my pace thats all.

[CharleneT]

Hmmm... I had not read your profile. If by "ems" you mean emergency medical services, then you may be ok (career wise). Sorta depends if you are on the hospital side or in the first-responders. Of course, you know your area and how it is tolerance wise. Prejudice against TG folks can survive in places that generally do not tolerate discrimination of other types. That sort of thing does vary, but we are sometimes the last frontier. Medicine in general is full of conservative people who because of their position(s) act fairly liberally. So you may be lucky that way ! I have a friend here who is post-op and was a ParaMedic before. I can ask her about it if you would like ? I know she has mentioned it was more of a good old boys club than one would expect.

oopppsss.. your reply came in as I typed and sent mine. Ok, so you are in the good old boy camp. First, you have my sympathies !! Second, you might be able to switch over to a related area, use your experience to make said jump ?

[Stephanie Anne]

Well I started at 36 and after 8 months have seen amazing changes. A few of my friends started around the same time and are having very positive results.

I know at least 3 trans people in emergency services. It's just like any other business. If the company has decent polices and you are well accepted at work, transition is not a big deal.

One thing, if you are not going to transition to the gender you should be, don't take hormones. HRT is a step in a final process of living full time in your proper gender. It's not a end point on your journey.

You live in Northern California which has very protective equal rights laws. The greater Sacramento area is very progressive.

My recommendation is stop worrying and start living your life. Take it slow and work with your job to transition. Go see a therapist who has experience. Your doubts most likely need direction and answers. I was terrified of transition at work but it was a non issue and I've not been held back from doing what I need to be who I am.

[pamela_a]

Ems is a very masculine frat boy field, they've fourteen rid of employees who are too gay/ lesbian. Trust me its not a tolerant field, youd gave a very hard time getting your P card, as a lot of preceptors fail people just for being female/gay/young/ugly etc... If you got a fire preceptor its even worse. there is a doctor (endo) that dosent require a therapist reccomendation. Any way I dont want my decision to ruin my career I love what I do and I came very far to get where im at. I would just like to take it easy and at my pace thats all.

I'm sorry but I have a lot of difficulty believing this. I worked as an EMT/I just when paramedic programs were starting (yes, I'm old) and there were many women with whom I worked and who went on to get their paramedic certifications. I know female medics who work for private, county, and fire service systems. If this is the attitude of the people with whom you work I would get out of there as soon as possible. There are plenty of services out there to work for once you get your EMT/P certification

[BreenaDion]

Gee its simple solution is wait untile the erge will over come you in 10-20 yrs. Better yet surcome to ur true self an find a different profession. The middle ground will be noticed in due time, maybe less than a yr. At 56 I started HRT an in 8 months later the general public started to call me mam , even in mens clothes. Go figure, others say I dont need FFS, im glad for that. Just a thought , good luck.
Breena.

[lizlizzie]

My spouse started HRT at 38. The additional side affect that no one mentioned above is loss of body strength, possibly slowig down of body hair growth, and less coarse hair. She started with hormone pills; when the side affects slowed down and hair growth reasserted itself she switched to shots. She is finding it much harder to keep her weight where she wants it since the shots, which problem she didn't have when taking pills.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

If you are seriously considering it now you will probably always be thinking about it.
Sometimes looking too far ahead can stop you from ever moving forward.

excellent point...take out the word probably..

that's what you need to understand TODAY...this will never go away..
it's totally ok to not transition, not start HRT etc...but there is a likely outcome that you can't avoid...that outcome is start transition or be miserable

the benefit's of starting slow are many...for many the concept of all this is so terrifying that you become stuck...in addition, by starting HRT, you can perhaps calm your needs and live a productive life "for a while"...
you may view the next years as a time to plan and save money, to start electrolysis etc...
or you may suddenly realize that you want to transition and start a successful process...we know that it really is possible to transition...we know that it's possible to transition into a new career..

I'm 48 years old, i started HRT at 45..it worked very well for me...
your age doesnt matter except to the extent that i regret not living my female life as a younger woman...but i dug that hole for myself

but stacey nails the bottom line...your stark choice is to have this in your head forever or to start down a path of doing somethign about it... i have lived this...my "big sisters" lived it, and now i'm seeing new folks come into my therapy group living it..

i lied to myself long enough to build a career, then flush it down the toilet to transition..but i held out long enough to afford surgeries that i wanted to have...

i urge you to think of it this way..
"someday" i'll transition..and plan accordingly...the good thing is ONLY YOU can define someday..and you get to define starting transition too...a good first step is to try the hormones and see what happens...but doing electroylisis is another way to make a first step...

for what its worth...my close friend was an EMT...i asked her this morning..she said EMT is macho, that she saw and heard lots of nasty comments about gays and trans people and that is about as intolerant a crowd as she experienced..and she would never ever go back...