Now I am Really Confused

[Gocaps14]

Several weeks ago a posted a coming out titled, "Dear World". It felt great to do that. Since then I have posted about my unaccepting wife, she finds cdingN disgusting. But when I came out to her several months ago she told me that she was unacceoting, but to be honest with myself and thus began the journey that led me here and the ,"Dear World" posting. Well, I came to the forum when I could, enjoying reading and chipping in when I could, and continuing my self accceptance and self-exploration, and the lure and the desire dress seemed to subside. Well, yesterday, I told my wife that I wasn't really interested in dressing anymore. She really didn't bat an eye, didn't really care, which is what I was expecting. My point is that I really do kind of feel this way, what was a pretty major part of my life, something I have been doing since before I knew what it meant, is gone? Certainlly, I will be back soon, I guess??? Ugh.....I feel like a train wreck.

[BRANDYJ]

Just a guess....Maybe your desire to dress has faded since you realize your wife will not accept it and your love of her is more important then the dressing. If that's part of it I commend you on caring about your wife and what your feelings of how you look in your wife's eyes.
I can only imagine how I'd feel if my SO ever told me that my dressing turned her off or was disgusting. I love her so much that I could see myself withdrawing from my desire and need to dress. So it might be your concern of how your wife views you as a man that is bothering you.

[Karren H]

Don't hold your breath..... It will be back...

[BLUE ORCHID]

I commend you for your feelings toward your wife good luck.
However crossdressing is like belonging to the Mafia you can't just quit.

Orchid

[docrobbysherry]

I have a prediction, Gocaps:

It will come back again and again! And, so will u! Best of luck!

[Kelly DeWinter]

............... "Dear World" posting. Well, I came to the forum when I could, enjoying reading and chipping in when I could, and continuing my self accceptance and self-exploration, and the lure and the desire dress seemed to subside. ................

sounds like a clear case of transferance . you may have replaced one aspect of your transgender life (dressing) with another (reading/posting about dressing). it will be interesting to see if stress in your life brings back the 'pink fog' . pleasure is a tress reducer and the fact you get enjoyment out of posting may last for quite some time.

i would be more concerend with your relationship with your spouse, when a couple put "the lid' on an important subject, you can be assured the unseen pressure will eventually make the pot boil over in the future.

Keep posting

Kelly

[Gillian Gigs]

Can a leopard change its spots? If general history holds true, the wreck is only a matter of time.

[Tina B.]

Gocaps, take the time to enjoy being just what your wife wants you to be, but if you find that just doesn't work for who you feel you are, we will still be here with welcoming smiles. If you are driven to dress from deep with in, Then watch out for the fog, it will come for you, and you will have to deal with it, one way or another. And if you are not driven to dress, then why upset the wife right? Good luck at finding which works for you.
Tina B.
(I'm driven to dress, and don't belive I could give it up with out a lot of pain and suffering, and I'm just not strong enough to do that.)

[MichelleP]

Those feelings will return. You can bet on it.

[SherriePall]

I have, in the past, mometarily lost interest in dressing after upsetting my wife over something to do with dressing. In a short time that upset is forgotten and the interest comes back. I am sure that this is your case, too, and you will regain the interest.

[Deanna B]

HI . sorry you got to do what to got to do but your wife come first. i do think you will be back. so best of luck do take care . love deanna
ps if you like to have chat drop me a line

[Eryn]

If you're happy, don't worry about it. If the urge to dress returns so be it, if not, what did you lose? The key is to enjoy you life however you end up.

[stephiemont]

Those feelings will return. You can bet on it.

Yes that is true. My wife commented that for two months I did not dress at all nether in the morning or evening. The trauma? We'd had to have our dog put down and crossdressing meant nothing. One say it all came back again and when it does it sometimes comes back with a vengeance. It's worth bearing in mind.

Stephie M.

[sissystephanie]

What most of you don't seem to realize is that Crossdressing is a state of mind!! You CAN STOP completely if YOU WANT TO!! Sure it takes willpower, but it can be done. But it can only be done by the crossdresser himself/herself! As I have said many times already, I did stop completely for a 5 year period early in our marriage. I just decided that it was better for the family. After 5 years, my dear, now late, wife said she wanted Stephanie back in our lives again. She missed the fun we both had when we went out as 2 girls!! So I started dressing again, and still do! But if a family member, or my dear GG friend, asked me to stop I would, without question1 They all know that!!

The feelings may come back, but you don't have to act on them!!

[Tanya C]

Be careful about the proclamtions you make to your wife about giving up dressing because as you stated, it'll come back. And when it does you'll wish you had kept ypur mouth shut. It's not fair to your wife (or yourself) to promulgate the notion that your dressing days are over when you know deep down that it isn't the truth.

[Stephanie47]

Did your wife say cross-dressing was disgusting? Or did you use that term? There is a difference between being non accepting and being disgusted. If she told you to find your way and did not rant and rave, I think that is positive. What will her response be if in finding yourself you have a relapse. If cross-dressing was no more than a hobby, maybe you can substitute bowling for it. If cross-dressing is a part of your inner self, then it will re surface when you need it.

[Lucy_Bella]

When you surpress it for some reason it comes back even stronger than it was before!!

[Exie]

When you surpress it for some reason it comes back even stronger than it was before!!

That can be very true. In another hobby I had, I was very strongly into it for about three years before weening off of it, until I was just posting on the forums about the hobby. Eventually then, I even stopped that. But one day I came back "just to see" what was going on, and was completely immersed back in my old habbits and was carried away in my passion for the hobby. The same might happen to you - not that its a bad thing :)

[SharonOfLB]

I'm really new to crossdressing and a bit confused with it all. I tried it, loved it, but stop. But within the next few days I found myself doing it again. I tell myself the same thing when I did it again to stop but found myself in the same place again. And it seems like everyone posting here have that same feeling of having that urge to dress. It seems like dressing is an addiction. Just like any relationship, you probably will have to give up certain things to make the other person happy. Like someone mention earlier, maybe your wife will miss your other side one day and want her back.