Humiliating day ..... >_<

[Lip5tick_Li5a]

I had left my old "collection" at my GG best friend's house a couple of years ago (not a purge, just lost interest and had other things going on in my life). Well, she got married last month and moved out of the place she was sharing with her brother. She left my stuff in her old room.

It was all just heaped in a box, totally obvious.

Her brother wouldn't just let me come in and find my stuff, I had to tell him what to go look for. And worse, her oldest brother (a Marine who just got out after 2 tours in Iraq and 1 in Afganistan) was there moving into that room ..... and oh God it was like a worst case nightmare scenario.

At first the younger brother was like, "I think she took all her stuff" and then he went back and returned and asked "what was in your bag?" and I said, "some stuff from last Halloween" and he smirks really evil and says, "clothing?"

Then the Marine walks in with the box, holding it at arms length like it was radioactive. Even worse, some of it was gone and I had to go back for the shoes, which were still in the closet. And the shoes are in size 16, so its not like I could say they were hers or anyone elses.

Good lord, this is purge-inducing. Though "purge" has little meaning when you haven't dressed in over a year anyway.

Didn't need this on a school day with a chemistry test, 4 hour chem lab and 4 hour biology lab with a quiz. >_<

[Karren H]

Think I would have let my stash go to the trash before going through that.

[Lip5tick_Li5a]

The wig was "borrowed" from my mother's old house. She hasn't worn it since Nineteen Seventy-Forgotten, but it was wearing on my conscience that I stole it. Now I can just deposit in her old 70s box and tie up that loose end.

After being "outed", the least I could do was continue on with dignity, acting like I didn't give a crap and wasn't bothered. Besides, even if Mr. Marine Corps does try to start some gossip, I HAVE THE EVIDENCE. He only has talk.

But in truth .... I was VERRRRRRY bothered. But nothing left to do but move on, I suppose.

[Lorileah]

amazing how someone who has defended the rights of this country and will tell you they would lay down their lives to defend those rights have such narrow minded views. So sad you found a representative of one of the best parts of our defense who was so simple he could not see that rights go a lot further than just waving his flag. I would have told him exactly that.

[Cynthia Anne]

Sad sad story! I say, hang your head high, like a Marine should, but I think this marine shamed himself!

[Christy_M]

I missed if anything was said...as embarassing as that must have been at least it didn´t escalate into something worse.

As a former Marine I can tell you that his reaction could simply be how he thought he was supposed to react and not necessarily a reflection of his personal views...

[GingerLeigh]

Should have asked him..."My nails are still wet, could you be a dear and put it in my car for me?" Oh how embarrassing! I think I'd have left it all there. They would have tossed it anyhow.

Don't put too much into it. Military types are programmed to be intolerant of anything different. At least it's been my experience in the military. He's probably got better stories to tell being that he served 3 tours in the dustbowl. You'll never make it on his radar of interesting things.

Ginger

[Kelly DeWinter]

Should have asked him..."My nails are still wet, could you be a dear and put it in my car for me?" Oh how embarrassing! I think I'd have left it all there. They would have tossed it anyhow.

Don't put too much into it. Military types are programmed to be intolerant of anything different. At least it's been my experience in the military. He's probably got better stories to tell being that he served 3 tours in the dustbowl. You'll never make it on his radar of interesting things.

Ginger

or winked at him and said " Thank goodness YOU don't have to worry about 'Don't ask, Don't Tell' anymore "

seriosly, take the attitude of 'who cares', by the way how did the test go ?

[Jennifer Medina]

Sad sad story! I say, hang your head high, like a Marine should, but I think this marine shamed himself!

In what way? It doesn't say the Marine said anything.

[Christina..x]

awwww its ok hope your alright

[christinac]

It shames me to death being a former military officer that many of our military men in fact are as narrow minded as they come. It is not as bad as it used to be because for several years now unofficially Don't Ask Don't Tell was largely being ignored unless for some ass-n-nine reason some politician started raising hell, but there is still too much narrow mindedness and straight out bigotry still in effect.

[msniki48]

Think I would have let my stash go to the trash before going through that.

Ditto!:eek::eek::heehee:

[sterling12]

You asked for your Stuff. They handed over your Stuff. You took your Stuff home, (except for that Wig). End of Story, for Everyone! Marine coming back from Afghanistan has lots of other things to think about. Her Younger Brother has other things to get done today, tomorrow, and for The Foreseeable Future.

They might give it a passing thought, but in The Big Wide Scheme of things, it ain't important! Lets apply some logic. You imagine this will be important to them next month? How about next year? OK, how about next week? Your allowing it to become a very big deal for you! The only way they can harm you is if they sense you are sensitive to this situation. Otherwise, they will forget about it in a very short time.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Samantha W]

Dont do it gurl! Ive regretted every purge. Oh, I miss my cool, sexy stuff every time I look trhrough my closet.

[Tanya C]

Try to look at it this way, the brother and marine actually humiliated themselves by dispalying their immaturity. They simply lack the mental furniture to realize it. You on the other hand are studying chemistry and biology which seems to indicate that you're on a different intellectual plane than they are.
So, understand the event for what it really was, two childish "men" trying to affirm their masculinity with tactics that are somewhat reminiscent of junior high school.

[t-girlxsophie]

much as it pains us to think it,just because they are in the armed forces doesnt make them automatically become angels,any prejudices they have will still remain within them.it shouldnt excuse his behaviour towards the OP either.and i think she was right to get her stash

[OccasionalSkirt]

I highly doubt he's going to care in about a week. And even if he does, you didn't do anything illegal. So what if he knows?

Trust me, there are plenty of Marines that do things I'd find way more embarrassing (just ask any Navy doc who's had to treat them). He was a jerk, to be sure, but I don't think it'll linger.

[Felicity O]

I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. I had ordered some wigs on Ebay and they took forever to arrive. By the time they came, I had moved out of the apartment to my own place up the street. When the package arrived, one of my old roommates didn't bother to read the label and assumed it was his package. He made a crack about it later, the ass, but I'm not entirely sure if he understood exactly what they were for. But it hasn't resulted in anything catastrophic and I never see him anymore, so I think you'll be okay, too.

[christinac]

Trust me, there are plenty of Marines that do things I'd find way more embarrassing (just ask any Navy doc who's had to treat them). He was a jerk, to be sure, but I don't think it'll linger.

I and anyone else who has ever had duty or a commission in the the Philippines could write a book on that one. In the case at hand here, the heck with that jerk and besides what is to say that someone would believe him if he did say something?

[Genny B]

I and anyone else who has ever had duty or a commission in the the Philippines could write a book on that one. In the case at hand here, the heck with that jerk and besides what is to say that someone would believe him if he did say something?

Thailand! Oh Lord, I was envious!

[Randall]

I agree, he would have acted that away rather he was a marine or a high school bully. I was a U.S. Air Force combat force service member. I have always had a soft spot for Tgirls and the not yet comfermed. and fought for there rights with pride. and I have a long story to tell one day on this

[JulieK1980]

I highly doubt he's going to care in about a week. And even if he does, you didn't do anything illegal. So what if he knows?

Trust me, there are plenty of Marines that do things I'd find way more embarrassing (just ask any Navy doc who's had to treat them). He was a jerk, to be sure, but I don't think it'll linger.


As a former Corpsman I can tell you millions upon millions of stories of how Marines humiliated themselves in some of the most peculiar ways.

Overall I think the situation was handled as best as you could possibly handle it. Relax, as others have said, in a week it will be long forgotten in their minds.

[christinac]

I agree, he would have acted that away rather he was a marine or a high school bully. I was a U.S. Air Force combat force service member. I have always had a soft spot for Tgirls and the not yet comfermed. and fought for there rights with pride. and I have a long story to tell one day on this

All of us that have served have stories to tell and some stories we will never be able to tell. I've carried boys back to the US in a box and I've shuttle both men and women back to the US who lost body parts and others who were mentally completely distroyed. All sacrificed themselves to protect and defend the rights and freedom of others.

Nothing pisses me off more than to see someone, especially active service military, piss on the rights of someone else. Especially when the offender has been in combat themself. It is comepletely inexcusible!

[docrobbysherry]

I wouldn't worry about it, Lipstick!

Since he didn't ask, he won't tell!

[Exie]

Oh wow, that's horrible. I hope they don't make an ordeal over it and spread it around to humiliate you. But like everyone's said, if he's a bully, he's a bully. It doesn't matter if he's a marine or a mechanic.

[Christy_M]

I and anyone else who has ever had duty or a commission in the the Philippines could write a book on that one. In the case at hand here, the heck with that jerk and besides what is to say that someone would believe him if he did say something?


Thailand! Oh Lord, I was envious!

Smiles in one place and the basket in another...I can't even bring myself to tell my grown kids about those events.

[Mary Morgan]

Just think, now that you have been through this it will take something much more irritating to upset you next time. And from where I sit it doesn't get much more irritating. You are going to be fine.

[Celeste]

Thats great,you didn't buckle to your fears and got you're things back.I think its a good demonstration of not letting others opinions manipulate our actions.So you won on both accounts.

[Billie Jean]

I agree with Karen I would have just let them throw it out and they be none the wiser. Billie Jean

[Veronica Lacey]

Did the marine ridicule you in front of everyone? Or did he just hand over your goods in an awkward way and your imagination added to this? Sounds as if you were already feeling guilty for "borrowing" your mother's wig. Could this have made it worse in your own mind?

As hurt or embarrassed as you might have felt is it fair for you to expect somebody to just instantly come to terms with your level of acceptance of your dressing as if they had known about it for as long as you have? Sounds as if he was just moving in, tending to his own life, when he was thrust into your world without warning. If you were allowed to feel discomfort why should he not be permitted the same slack?

I think some judgment has been passed on these men and unless you actually discuss it with them directly - respecting their position in this exchange - then perhaps you should just let it go. After all, that's what you wish for inside too, yes? For them to just live and let you live without judgment.

Just a thought. I hope you managed okay with your exams :)

[Pythos]

We CDs need to have a bit thicker skin...or hose, you make the call. What you should have done was receive your items, placed them down next to you, offer your hand, and say "thank you for serving this country and its citizens."

This would throw his immature ass into a loop, and possibly have him realize what a disgrace he is to the corps for acting so childishly. The key would have been for you to show no reaction to his actions. Just thank him, grab your stuff and head out.

[TGMarla]

You left it all behind, and no one was the wiser. You did this to yourself. Why didn't you just get more stuff for yourself, a little at a time? Why is it you weren't missing this stuff until she moved out? If she was such a friend that you could leave all your stuff with her, why didn't you ask her to go get it?

It's all real confusing. Why would you do this to yourself?

[Alice Torn]

Like you, i would have been very embarrassed. But, that marine has been through the hell of war, and, that changes a person, hardens them.

[JulieK1980]

Did the marine ridicule you in front of everyone? Or did he just hand over your goods in an awkward way and your imagination added to this? Sounds as if you were already feeling guilty for "borrowing" your mother's wig. Could this have made it worse in your own mind?

As hurt or embarrassed as you might have felt is it fair for you to expect somebody to just instantly come to terms with your level of acceptance of your dressing as if they had known about it for as long as you have? Sounds as if he was just moving in, tending to his own life, when he was thrust into your world without warning. If you were allowed to feel discomfort why should he not be permitted the same slack?

I think some judgment has been passed on these men and unless you actually discuss it with them directly - respecting their position in this exchange - then perhaps you should just let it go. After all, that's what you wish for inside too, yes? For them to just live and let you live without judgment.

Just a thought. I hope you managed okay with your exams :)

This is the best comment here I think.

[ReineD]

Lisa, you did what you had to do and you held your head high. Plus I'm sure on top of this you did well with all your academic work! :)

You have my full admiration! It doesn't matter what some random Marine thinks. What you did takes just as much courage, if not more, than anything he's ever encountered. You can continue to hold your head high. :hugs:

[Samantha43]

I think you may have read more into the situation than was really there. It sounds like your GG friend's bad decision for leaving you in that situation. The best thing is to move on and forget about it.

[Lip5tick_Li5a]

Wow, too many Replies to answer them all individually. So I'm gonna use bullet points.

- The Marine. No, he did not ridicule me. He was just awkward. This was not a "I got harassed by military men" post at all. I was writing about MY feelings, and how it made me feel being seen by someone much more masculine than me.

- My friend: yes, she was being rude by just leaving everything in an open heap by her old bed. She is bitter that I didn't take our relationship to the "next level", and has recently gotten married to someone else. Since I hardly ever dress, and usually it was when hanging out with her, it just made sense to leave everything at her place. But now that she's married and moving on, it seemed best to get my stuff back and move on also.

- The wig. I felt guilty about taking it, yes. Even though I know bloody well that she'll never wear the out-of-style thing again, it's a matter of pride and principle.

Also, about the Marine and the younger brother, I'm sure they weren't but so shocked given that their sister is openly bisexual. Believe me, CDing was the least of what went on in THAT apartment. I'm a total virgin and by far the most innocent of her friends. :P

For all I know, both brothers could've been totally accepting (or even CDs themselves). But that didn't change how it felt for me in the moment. But am I a victim of discrimination or intolerance? Certainly not.

[marny]

We don't mean to but we all leave a trail. you left it girl. only one person to blame. on the other hand. I think many of us leave clues because we want to be dicovered.

[MarcellaMcNul]

My :2c: What struck me when I read the original post was not the character of the two brothers moving into the apartment,but the strong character of Lipstick Lisa.

It took guts to forge ahead with your mission knowing all the while you were in the face of potential enemy fire!

Furthermore; IMO,this was "character building" event by virtue of the fact that it was difficult,(and risky) to do but you stuck by your conviction that it was what you had to do and did it anyway.

The fact that you felt so strongly about returning the "borrowed" wig even though it was pretty much discarded by it's rightful owner reinforces my above opinion.

My hat is off to you!!(the one with the ribbon and flowers on it).

Marcella