no girlie tendencies

[sportschick]

I've read a lot of posts from many of you that talk about how much you enjoy various activities that would be considered typically female, like shopping, and how some of you have mentioned you think like a girl all or part of the time. I am only struck by the urge to dress 2 or 3 times a year at most, it's been about 6 months since the last time, although when it strikes I do go out in public and try to pass, which is the fun of it, doing the role-play thing and trying to be as authentic as possible. However, at no time do I actually think like a girl or enjoy typically girlie activities. I hate shopping, have no patience for fussing with things, generally can't tolerate girlie-themed conversations(as in a group of girls), although I am very close with a few GG's who I share interests with , especially sports and music. Do any of you share this combination of absolutely no interest in anything girlie(I mean for real not just covering your tracks with macho behavior) and yet occasionally want to imitate one?

[Billijo49504]

Tendencies, NO, an addiction Yes. Or at least my credit card statments say I'm addicted to shopping, big time. Does that count? :)

[cd_isabelle]

hi there,

i can understand where you are coming from, i am similar in a way at times, but i also do like some girlie things, shopping can be nice but horrible at other times, girlie conversations are nice, pink and girlie colours, clothes and all that i love. i can get by without them though and love my guy side too, sports are a big thing in my life. i would say i am probably an even balance between the two.

kisses,

cd_isabelle

[mand]

Hello Julie :) I enjoyed reading you're post it reminded me that we are all at different levels/stages of the TG spectrum, dressing as a woman means different things for different people.
I am guilty of moments when I presume that everyone under the TG umbrella kinda thinks along the same lines I do, I know they don't but sometimes I forget :o
That was the first thing I noticed when I attended a TG get together thingy, the diversity of everyone there.

I'm the real opposite of you in regards I cannot identify with anything in the male world, It really feels alien to me. However I feel so comfortable and natrual with things of a feminine nature and the "traditional" female role. To me being the girl "next door" is my dream :) .

Thanks for reminding me Julie (it is Julie ?)


love mand xxx :)

[Jonien]

Hi Julie
I have to agree:iagree: with mand on this I to tend to forget that we are all on different levels so thanks for reminding us as :rose: I need to be reminded from time to time as I am a full time girl with not a manly thought and love everything femme :luvu:

[Lauren_T]

Personally I'm willing to leave sports, competition, and about 95% of the rest of masculine tastes and interests to those who want them. Those things have no place in my world and I'm always looking for ways to further ensure that I don't have to be subjected to them. I want a life of rich, subtle beauty, gentility and refined pleasures.

...but that's just me. You just go ahead and do what you like... :D

[Mistress Frillee]

For me its a comfort thing... sure i get turned on by wearing girly clothes, but I tend to go for the more unisex fashions that I can wear in public ( well except for the low rise flared jeans with no front or back pockets, i wear those in public all the time!) :eek:

I also do not have girly tendencies... I do go for some ( not all) of the typical guy things, like sports

[sportschick]

So far I'm clearly in the minority, but it's helpful to hear ha ow it is for others. This post is kind of a factfinding mission for me, as even though I've been totally in male mode for 6 months with no girlie thoughts and none in sight, I'm still trying to understand how I can be a guy's guy inside and out almost all the time, and yet have powerful urges to dress a couple times a year(less lately), When I do it's the whole 9 yards, in public, or I don't do it.This site is helping get a perspective on it, and after 30 yrs I no longer feel like a pervert, so thank you all for that.At the same time, understanding the whole thing on an intellectual level seems to be lessening the need..or maybe it's just coincidental. I'm still fascinated by it however, and interested in how many can actually look like women in all but face-to-face contact.

Anyway, to hear how cding impacts others lives and psyche is interesting an helpful, so I hope more of you weigh in on this post. If there's anyone else like me, lets go have some beers and fix the car..then we can call each other when the urge strikes again :-)!

[Mistress Frillee]

I do not think like a girl, I always see myself as a guy.......

[Deborah757]

Anyway, to hear how cding impacts others lives and psyche is interesting an helpful, so I hope more of you weigh in on this post.

Maybe that's the difference between the two ends of the spectrum. At your end it is the crossdressing that impacts the psyche. At the other end it is the psyche that impacts the crossdressing.

For instance I read many here say that they do not in any way identify themselves as TS but like to dress because it is comfortable and makes them feel good. I self identify as TS and when I dress it is to create the illusion that my body matches my psyche. To be honest I don't even find the clothes very comfortable. The looseness of most men's clothes are physically more comfortable to the body.

[Lauren_T]

... To be honest I don't even find the clothes very comfortable. The looseness of most men's clothes are physically more comfortable to the body.You do have a point, Deborah, after all, women's stuff is designed to accomodate / enhance the hips, boobicles, et cetera...
But personally that's secondary to the fabulous variety of fabrics, colors, cut and suchlike. I love bell sleeves and 3/4 sleeves, f'rinstance, and the absence of pockets, sheer shimmery cloth, all sorts of various little details that are more esthetically pleasant and not available on men's clothing... I like those aspects that tend to impart grace and fluidity (even though I have a bit less grace than a hippo), contrasting / complementary textures, they all reinforce the feminine feeling I carry within.
:thumbsup:

[Samantha Jane]

In a word, well a few.

Girlie when I want to be, macho if I have to be. :)

In fact I think I will use that as my signature. :D

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Maybe that's the difference between the two ends of the spectrum. At your end it is the crossdressing that impacts the psyche. At the other end it is the psyche that impacts the crossdressing.

That's not a bad way of putting it, although it's not quite that clear cut. I've got no desire to actually be a woman, but I do feel like I've got a feminine side and dressing is an outward expression of that. OTOH, dressing does help me "feel the part" and part of the attraction is the sensuous aspect of women's clothing that others have mentioned. So I suppose I'm somewhere inward from the end of the spectrum.

[Phoebe Reece]

Some of us are kind of in the middle, enjoying the best of both worlds. I love to shop (even more than my wife), enjoy chick flick movies, love to have conversations about clothes, makeup, hair, etc. But, I also ride a motorcycle, love rock climbing, can do just about any fix-it job around the house, can drink beer and burp while hanging out with some macho buddies. I guess I think like a girl and a guy. In any case, it's just me no matter how I am dressed.

[emmicd]

I am very comfortable in my born sex of male and am your typical guy. I am not overly masculine or do I wish to be ultra feminine either. I am masculine 100 % of the time in my home and public life.

In my crossdressing I know i am still a guy but I do admit feeling comfortable when I do wear a dress or girls bathing suit.

It's a part of my core as a heterosexual crossdresser.

I am a guy 365 days a year and I figure if I averaged 1 hour a day to crossdress for the full year that would come out to about 15 days a year set for crossdressing which comes to near 5 %.

So I am 95 % masculine and 5 % feminine.

That's how I see it.

Good question!

Emmi

[Joanne_'jojo']

I'm with Pheobe...
love the outdoor adventure sports... mountain biking, kayaking, triathlon etc... not so much for the drinking gave that up in my mid twenties for the sake of the racing.
Some nice girlie "activity wear" and dark red painted nails and I'd be in heaven.

Jojo

And no I don't want to be a sporty spice (for those who remember) I rather be wearing a LBD.

[Nanci]

So far I'm clearly in the minority, but it's helpful to hear ha ow it is for others. This post is kind of a factfinding mission for me, as even though I've been totally in male mode for 6 months with no girlie thoughts and none in sight, I'm still trying to understand how I can be a guy's guy inside and out almost all the time, and yet have powerful urges to dress a couple times a year(less lately), When I do it's the whole 9 yards, in public, or I don't do it. Anyway, to hear how cding impacts others lives and psyche is interesting an helpful, so I hope more of you weigh in on this post. If there's anyone else like me, lets go have some beers and fix the car..then we can call each other when the urge strikes again :-)!

I'm with you on this one, sportschick. I spend virtually all my time in male mode, only getting to dress up maybe a handful of times during the year. However, I do feel the urge to dress more often than that, but just don't have the opportunity. The best I can do is to log in here and enjoy the experiences of others. And, yes, I like to go the whole 9 yards, too, and go out in public, if at all possible. I live on the memories of those times until the next occasion. I'd love to have a beer with you and fix the car, or hit some golf balls, or whatever, until I have a chance to dress up again. :)

[Donna]

Hi everyone,

This is about as deep as I get.

The ego is formed when we are young to protect us from a percieved danger.

The part of our ego that wants to be feminine was created to protect us in certain situations when we were young. Maybe as simple as "if I were a girl I'd could get away with that", or as deep as "My mommy won't love me unless I'm a girl".

So we all have different needs to be feminine and different degrees of need.

Now, what I normally would say is "enjoy being who you are!"

Donna

[Rikki]

I dress every night, would love to dress 24/7, but won't. I don't associate with the boys and feel comfortable with the girls. Once a week, I might dress the whole nine yards for a day. I don't like and never have cared much for sports. I tried all kinds a sports, just because it was the thing that boys had to do, but didn't enjoy them that much. I do love the feel of a nice slip and skirt swishing against my leggs.



Rikki

[DawnRodgers]

My outlook and tendencies are very closely tied to my apperarance.
When dressed as a man I am very male. Talk loudly, and am, personality wise, all male. Love sports, physical games and have a male outlook and male personality. I will say that my main interest in woman is to see how they dress and the sound of heels clicking on the sidewalk will immediately turn my head. I feel more attracted to women than to men.
When dressed as a woman I feel totally like a woman. I feel romantic, watch love stories, enjoy doing things with my hands so that I can watch my shiny red nails doing things, fully dress and wear full makeup. I truly want to feel loke a woman - heck I want to be a woman. I talk with a softer voice and am deferential, especially to men. I am very interetsted in men and would rather hang around men and only look at a woman to see what they wear and how they handle themselves.

Dawn

[Lisa Golightly]

I like cars... er, is that wrong? I don't like all this boy do this girl do that...pink for you blue for you... it's all a load of grey suit/grey mind rubbish. Stop boxing yourself and be you. You get 70 years (if you're lucky) to experience life... I'm through half of mine... I'm not wasting the rest on the fact that I don't slot into the box marked WASP sex M. F'em all! ;)

[Helen MC]

Although I am a 24/7 knicker wearer and have been so since my teens, and I like to dress en-femme in private at home, I am not externally effeminate. When dressed I look like a plain and plump middle aged housewife, the type you see every day , the women who have grown up kids who have gone off and got married etc. You see them in the streets, serving in shops, etc.

As to tendencies, I was never the hard, macho, butch type. As a kid I hated what are called "Rough and Tumble" Games , team games, most sports, PE (although I would have loved to have done PE with the Girls and played Field Hockey or Netball with them wearing Navy Blue Cotton Knickers). I'd far rather read a book etc and eventually took addditional subjects at the age of 15 to get out of doing PE. To this day Sport and any Team Activities are a no go for me. I do play golf but only with a couple of other friends for the fun of it and the company, and am a NOT a Competative type in any way, believeing that everyone should have their chance and that there is more than enough to share rather than the idea of "Winner takes all".

However I am heterosexual, have been married, (she was quite supportive of my knicker wearing -we shared them- and tolerated my CD activities , and we split up for quite boring reasons associated with money etc, not sexual ones). Like most men I am not into shopping , the Internet is a Godsend for me as were Mail Order catalogues before that, and I'm not at all "fussy". When out with my mates or at work etc I am your typical nondescript male in "drab". Only under my boring male clothing I will be wearing women's panties, a fact unknown to my male colleagues.

So like a lot of CDs I am a mixture of external hetero male who you wouldn't give a second look coupled with a sexual enjoyment from wearing female clothing , knickers 24/7 and other items at home alone.

[Vallari]

When I have to be in male mode, it's near impossible to tell I'd actually be a crossdresser. I guess you can say I'd be a guy's-guy. I work in a warehouse facility and a lot of my peers are what one could call "good-ol-boys", so I don't even bother trying to show anything from my fem side at work. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, but mainly for personal safety and because a warehouse isn't exactly a place for a blouse and skirt! ;)

At home and while I'm en-femme however, I have the painted nails, the body-sprays, and all that good stuff. I enjoy shopping, girly movies and conversations and the like, but I also realize that women do masculine things too. So sometimes I like to go by the term "tom-boy" while dressed.

I like to consider myself near the feminine side of the spectrum, but not totally at the end. I'm drifting there slowly though...:D

[Shaylynn]

Most of the time I'm a guy's guy, at work and with friends. Home alone I love being Shaylynn-very much addicted to dolling myself up. I love wearing sexy lingerie, painting my lips and nails red etc. I feel very femmy when at this site too. I do so very much want to go out enfemme with a couple of other sisters. Guess I'm caught between two worlds.
hugs

[Sophia Rearen]

I've read a lot of posts from many of you that talk about how much you enjoy various activities that would be considered typically female, like shopping, and how some of you have mentioned you think like a girl all or part of the time. I am only struck by the urge to dress 2 or 3 times a year at most, it's been about 6 months since the last time, although when it strikes I do go out in public and try to pass, which is the fun of it, doing the role-play thing and trying to be as authentic as possible. However, at no time do I actually think like a girl or enjoy typically girlie activities. I hate shopping, have no patience for fussing with things, generally can't tolerate girlie-themed conversations(as in a group of girls), although I am very close with a few GG's who I share interests with , especially sports and music. Do any of you share this combination of absolutely no interest in anything girlie(I mean for real not just covering your tracks with macho behavior) and yet occasionally want to imitate one?

Sports Chick,
You know you just might be describing my wife! I think the key words here is typical and typically. Better not generalize or else you are no better than those who think crossdressers are perverts and freaks as typically portrayed in the media. BTW, I'm with Lisa! You go girl!

[sportschick]

Sophia,

Please note that my post describes how things are for me only, presents the dichotomy of a guy's guy mentally and physically who still is struck by very occasional urges to crossdress, and asks if anyone else has a similar experience. My use of the phrase "typically female" was applied to shopping, as an example. Shall we take a poll of what percentages of females vs males in the general population enjoy shopping? What do you think the result would be? If that's generalizing, then I'm guilty as charged, but jumping from that to telling me that makes me" no better than those who think crossdressers are perverts and freaks as typically portrayed in the media " is a stretch. If that's what I thought, I would say so.

In no way does my post judge anyone else's experience or outlook on cding, or themselves. It merely asks how people experience things. In other posts I have thanked the forum in general for sharing their insight and experiences, which is helping me understand and come to terms with cding, and although I'd prefer to be free of it, to handle it in a way that is right for me. I know that it isn't easy having crossdressing be a part of anyone's life, and I support and empathize with anyone else's experience of it, no matter how different it may be from my own. Please go back and read Mand's post #4 in this thread, and my post #8. I will never make judgemental comments about others' mindsets on cding, especially about something they didn't say. I appreciate the same courtesy when others show it.

[Sophia Rearen]

Sportschick,
Sorry, probably came off a little harsh. However, I think if my wife were to read your post, she may have been offended.

[Mx Justina]

I don't quite fathom what "girlie tendencies" may be in other individuals' minds. However, in my mind I have concepts of what hyper feminine and stereotypical feminine appear as... As well as what hyper masculine and macho signify.

I try not to be pre-judgemental regarding individual expression. I like vintage and retro femme dress images, but I also like what is natural-looking, and androgynous, so a hyper feminine expression, is not MY motivating forte (as a CDing individual)...

J.

[sportschick]

Thanks Sophia, I appreciate your reply. I never mean to offend or reinforce stereotypes.

I'd chat more, but I have to finish my needlepoint and get dinner on the table before my wife gets back from rebuilding the engine in her dune buggy..yes I'm kidding :-).

[Olesha]

I just need and enjoy wearing womens clothes. Mostly, as now, a skirt, top ang thong. Occasionally I want to look like one but I dn't think I think like one. If I indilge in girlie activities it is only with my GG. For instance, last weekend we went shopping and she bought me 2 pairs of knickers and a dress and chose my first wig. I bought a pair of shoes ( male ) and some socks. But it was great fun visiting various stores looking at dresses,knowing she was choosing for me, and using her experience as to what was OK for me. That was fun.

[Sophia Rearen]

Thanks Sophia, I appreciate your reply. I never mean to offend or reinforce stereotypes.

I'd chat more, but I have to finish my needlepoint and get dinner on the table before my wife gets back from rebuilding the engine in her dune buggy..yes I'm kidding :-).

Very Funny, Julie. I like a girl with a sense of humor. Thanks for your forgiveness. I know you didn't mean to offend. Neither did I. I was a little b that day. Sorry.

[gennee]

I like to shop but for the most part I have no girlie tendencies. Looking at me, you wouldn't think I was a CD.

Gennee :)