Why do I feel cheated on?

[Kittie]

I'll keep it short and to the point: I met a guy a while ago on a popular online game, we have known each other for well over two years, totally my type, we share a lot of interests and over the time we have known each other we had become as close as two people could over the web, I shared a lot of deep personal issues and he shared his, we used to webcam and chat to each other and we started talking about meeting each other and trying to make something between ourselves, this would happen after he returned from New Zealand, he flew out there to work a few months back. I was looking forward to meeting this seemingly wonderful person until two weeks ago when I find out on facebake that he has found himself some raven haired NZ girl with a name I cant even pronounce and now he refuses to reply to me or even acknowledge my existence??


I get the feeling I should have expected this and I was stupid for even thinking someone who seemed so right would have a genuine interest in someone like me. I know I shouldn't but damn I feel rejected by this...
Obviously I invested too many feelings into this.

[joannemarie barker]

aaaaaaw that's a painful experience sweetie but you say at one point "someone like me" there's nothing wrong with you!! it's men,they do it to ggs aswell hun.it's the type of horrible thing that's happened since the Dawn of time :( x

[Julia_in_Pa]

Lacey,

Perhaps it's time to set guys aside for just awhile and concentrate on Lacey.
Men will be there when you get back.

Hugs


Julia

[Elsa Larson]

IMHO, it has lots more to do with the nature of internet relationships than with your unique qualities.

[christinac]

Bleep that jerk! That is one reason why you have to be extremely careful with on line relationships even if you video chat, because until you actually meet a person face to face you never know what you are dealing with. Something kind of tells me that this may have been some kind of a devine intervention because if he didn't have the decency to atleast say "go to H-double" than he is at the very least a self-centered jerk and very possibly could have been a real monster after the honeymoon period (not marriage) was over if you had hooked up.

Take some Lacey time and reconnect with that beautiful person you are inside and realize that you are someone's prise and a prise that is worth waiting for. That broken heart will heal a lot faster than what it may seem at the moment.

[kristinacd55]

Sorry to hear Lacey....but when you chat a lot with the right person and then chat some more, and some more...and perhaps meet then you'll know you've met the right one! Kiss that jerk goodbye!

[Melody Moore]

I can only agree with what most of the other girls have said. The
only thing I would like to add is never trust internet relationships!

This type of thing happens too often while your relationship is stuck in the confines of cyberspace,
so never put much faith in anyone until after you have met and you have no doubts that a committed
relationship is what you both want & that it's at all possible. Learn to keep something of yourself just
in case something like this happened. Giving away your heart & all your emotions too soon only leads
to lots of heartache & a broken heart - especially to someone who could be just playing the field.

There are better men out there & I hope that you get over this scumbag soon. :hugs:

[KarenCDFL]

Dear Lacey

Please don't beat yourself up over someone who lost out by not following through on a broken promise.

This has nothing to do with you and even though most of us here strive to be better women, we need to remember how fragile the male ego can be.

Besides the fact that men are dogs!

One thing I can say is how much my wife appreciates me being a cross dresser because I don't have any of that male macho crap in our lives.

Guys just do stupid things and they don't realize the impact they have on the people they hurt.

To all of us here (can I be that global?) you are one drop dead gorgeous woman! And thats just the way it is.

To me personally, your beauty is an inspiration to know that even knowing my physical gender, I can look good too!

[Aprilrain]

Lacey,

Perhaps it's time to set guys aside for just awhile and concentrate on Lacey.
Men will be there when you get back.

Hugs




Julia

Amen sister! What she said. By the way men aren't the only ones who behave this way. I've never dated a man but have sure felt the way you describe feeling.

[Katesback]

I like to say that the day I start dating people off the internet is the day I just go down to the local jail and visit inmates. The results are likely the same and at least when the inmate gets out I KNOW his background.

[Michelle.M]

I get the feeling I should have expected this and I was stupid for even thinking someone who seemed so right would have a genuine interest in someone like me.

And just what is someone like you? Beautiful, fun, honest, sincere? Doesn't sound so stupid to me. His loss, and he'll see that soon enough.

[Michelle.M]

I like to say that the day I start dating people off the internet is the day I just go down to the local jail and visit inmates. The results are likely the same and at least when the inmate gets out I KNOW his background.

Well, to each her own. But I have had 3 internet relationships. One resulted in no romance but a deep friendship, one was a 13 month long relationship that the other person wanted to make permanent with marriage (I was the one who didn't want marriage) and the last was only 3 months and also headed toward a long-term relationship but only ended because I was transferred due to my job.

I'm just sayin'.

[Kittie]

I like to say that the day I start dating people off the internet is the day I just go down to the local jail and visit inmates. The results are likely the same and at least when the inmate gets out I KNOW his background.

Fair comment but some genuine people do actually use the internet :).

[Katie Moore]

Bob Dylan has a song that goes something like this: "It ain't me babe, I saida no, no, no it ain't me babe". It ain't you - it's him. Get back on that horse and keep riding.

[Sally24]

2 years is a long time to maintain an on-line only relationship. People generally respond much more intensely to the immediacy of some one they can meet and touch in person. This is not a problem with you...probably not even anything to do with the trans issue. Other than not having the guts to respond to you, I wouldn't even blame him. Just take a deep breath and move on.

[Melissa Jill]

Ive done that online dating thing. Never again.
She cheated, I cheated. Terrible times.

[Inna]

Sorry babe, all I've got to add is that you should keep on being your genuine self, and keep on poking out there. It hurts, but then how else would we know when it feels fantastic.

[christinac]

I guess when you really sit down to think about it there is a gamble to any type dating whether it be the internet or a singles bar/pub. My all time date from hell was a church girl. A monster will always be where you least expect it whether it be the internet, church, bar/pup, or that cute person next door.

[Kali]

I like to say that the day I start dating people off the internet is the day I just go down to the local jail and visit inmates. The results are likely the same and at least when the inmate gets out I KNOW his background.

I met my fiancee on the Internet (Match.com) 8 years ago. I've never been happier in my life.

[BRANDYJ]

I met the Lady of my dreams on the Internet. We talked for hours upon hours on the phone. We were going to meet within 30 days when she was going to fly to Florida, a trip already planned before we met. However she was in a very bad accident only 9 days after we met. So our meeting face to face was stalled for about 3 months until she recovered. We've been a couple for just short of 4 years now. I think it is important to meet early to see just how real the feelings of each person really is. To carry on for 2 years is a red flag that one or the other is not sincere. It also leaves to much room for the other to meet someone local. But yes, you can meet on the net and form a great relationship, but to keep it alive and well, you have to meet and then at least visit each other as often as time and money will allow. Long distance does work when both parties are sincere and work to make it work. But one or the other also has to have a plan to move to be together or what's the point of ever starting a relationship?

[Jill Devine]

It's not a guy thing or a girl thing. All people can be good or bad. It really isn't confined one gender.

You just chose the wrong person and it's a mistake almost all of us make at least once. Many make the same mistake over and over. Just go easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up over a twirp of a guy.

All you can do is pick yourself up; dust yourself off; and go on with life. If you remain a good positive person and if you are the best you can be then life will eventually reward you. Its just that life has its own pace. Good people don't finish last. True story.
:-)

[Barbara Dugan]

I get the feeling I should have expected this and I was stupid for even thinking someone who seemed so right would have a genuine interest in someone like me. I know I shouldn't but damn I feel rejected by this...
Obviously I invested too many feelings into this.

I think you are selling yourself short, you are more than special and deserve the best for you ..its time to turn the page and start a new quest for the right guy. I know you will find him soon :hugs:

[Gaby2]

Hi Lacey,
it's not easy coping with this sense of rejection.
If your friend has indeed dashed your hopes in such a reckless way, then there's no point in pursuing the relationship any longer.
Even so, and despite your disappointment, I think you can still cherish the good and very real memories of how you felt.
Hoping for the best,
Gaby