Your "girl" side bleeding over to your "boy" side?

[Sophie_C]

So, today I was going shopping for guy things and saw this nice coat: pretty edgy, new and perfect for spring... well, until I put it on and noticed that this was something actually very feminine and my "girl" side was thinking that it was completely cute.... :doh:

I have problems with things bleeding over all the time, but it's typically not so obvious, things like mannerisms, behaviors, etc - nothing ever so obvious, which made me find it pretty funny. Thank God I was shopping on my own...

Anyone else ever experience anything like this? lol

[docrobbysherry]

No, Sophie. I only WISH it WOULD!

[Jessica_Dillon]

Sophie,
Yeah, I've done that. Old Navy, Sears, and JC Penny are my worst. I go in for jeans, or a shirt, and can't stay away from the other half of the store. On some occasions, I have noticed some manerisms poking through. But the best of the boy side may just be influenced by the girl side, and vice versa. Largely, though, I have to say that there is a definitive point where I feel more feminine than male while changing. That may sound stupid, but it works for me. Happy shopping though! No matter what mode you're in, you just can't pass up a good coat!

[Persephone]

Anyone else ever experience anything like this? lol

Only on days that end in "Y".

[Kathi Lake]

What is this 'side' thing you speak of?

:)

Kathi

[Karinsamatha]

Getting to be more and more every day :). JC Penney, and Macy's are places that bring out the best in me.

[LitaKelley]

I don't mind when the girl shows through him, but absolutely abhor and despise when he creeps out on her.....

[sissystephanie]

I don't mind when the girl shows through him, but absolutely abhor and despise when he creeps out on her.....

Yes, what do you do when it works the other way??

[Sophie86]

I think Sophie is just those characteristics that I learned to (mostly) suppress as part of my guy-training. I don't think I was ever completely successful at that. Since I've allowed them more free rein, it's not surprising that they pop up outside their scheduled play times.

[Kristina]

yes, somedays when i am out shopping for shirts and pants i cannot help but be drawn to the women's section, just for a quick peek at the clothing. it is very distracting when i go to a store for a pair of jeans and it takes an hour or more because i go looking and sometimes buying the women's clothes. haha

[TracyBoy]

Sometimes I'm fixing my hair or looking at my face in the mirror when stopped at a red light without realizing it. Then I'll look over at the car stopped next to me and I'll find the person staring at me! I then realize what I just did and then I pray that the light will change soon!:o

[Tanya C]

I don't mind when the girl shows through him, but absolutely abhor and despise when he creeps out on her.....

Amen to that sister! There is nothing creepier than when the guy side shows up while dressed.

[KrystalA]

With me it's a constant thing. I don't think Krystal ever sleeps.

[luludoll]

that's why i leave the bath & body stuff at home & avoid wearing cute knickers in drab, i've refined the mannerism to more metro but holding back takes a lot of effort

[msniki48]

Yes, what do you do when it works the other way??

Stephanie, I can tell you that when it bleeds in the wrong direction [ back to boy] I could kick myself in the *ss. That is when i wish i was on some sort of hormones to tone down the VENOM testosterone...

[msniki48]

I have problems with things bleeding over all the time, but it's typically not so obvious, things like mannerisms, behaviors, etc - nothing ever so obvious, which made me find it pretty funny. Thank God I was shopping on my own...

Anyone else ever experience anything like this? lol

When i first figured out about niki [ thanks to therapy] i compartmentalized and over compensated like heck to make sure no one would suspect:eek:...however, as i came to terms and accepted myself i found there was plenty of bleed over, for my gender was becoming more fluid. [ this is a good sign]:battingeyelashes:

I think you are moving in a good direction :daydreaming:IMHO

[kaitlin]

I will slip up mostly in drab mode, I have made several remarks to women like...."Oh I love those boots" or "Love your nails, where did you get them done?" Most of the time they just answer as if it were two women talking but once in awhile I'll get those strange looks or a short answer, that clue me that I just let my Girly side out in the wrong mode!

[Patrice_CD]

I have found when I run into Target or Macy's that I'm in the women's section first before going to the section I had planned to go to. I'm always looking for cute skirts and tops. I've caught myself at the office placing one foot in front of the other like I have heels on. It justs comes naturally to walk like that and now I have to think about strutting.

[Sarah Doepner]

I think it was bleeding through long before I ever realized it. When I finally was fully truthful with my wife about my crossdressing her summary comment was; "Well that explains a lot."

All her friends had less than wonderful marriages because the husbands were knuckle-draggers and couldn't show any sensitivity or understanding for their wives. I knew about their families, could recognize some of their children and helped out in ways they all thought was wonderful, but probably made their husbands hate me. As for shopping, unless it's the auto parts store or Home Depot, I ALWAYS head to the ladies section first. It does make it odd when I'm doing the food shopping with buddies for a camping trip and they find me in the cosmetics aisle instead of by the beer cooler. Opps.

[j4fun]

I'm pretty lucky these days. My wife has always known since we got together - she gave me some lingerie on our second date and frequently steals mine when she forgets to do laundry. Got a Fredrick's gift card as an anniversary gift last year just for fun and cheesiness. I'm very masculine male, I CD for fun not to "pass" though with some work I think I do a good job of assuming a playful feminine character. Shopping for or looking at femme stuff in my day to day mode doesn't feel like an inappropriate crossover or bleed through anymore.

There were quite a few years, especially in my 20's and late teens where I felt I had to compartmentalize at times, though I've never quite gotten to the purge point. Nowadays I often feel comfortable enough around many of our friends to make jokes or comments about clothes - though I never come out any say exactly why I'm pretty sure it's obvious and we just laugh it off. Having open trans and/or queer friends really takes a lot of the social pressure off for me even when I'm just around more vanilla folks. I think I've internalized the attitude that if these folks can be comfortable with their gender identity and persona, my little fetish is really no big deal.

[pantyhoselover]

I have seen the bleed over in myself. Like Kaitlin wrote, I have caught myself complementing GG's on their hair or outfit. Most of the time they just thank me. But I do wonder what they are thinking about me. I have been told by a GG that I'm "metro-sexual". Even in some photos of myself, I can see the bleed over (although maybe I just want to see it?).

[Kate Simmons]

Well that usta happen when I was on the roller coaster going from Homme to femme but now I'm always the same person pretty much. The only difference maybe being the outfit I'm wearing.:)

[GirlyBits]

I have really prissy and girly mannerisms that bled over through my masculine side (Well, whatever masculine side I have which is not much) I finally just embraced it and let it be free. Love it!

[Wendy_Marie]

Reminds me fo the old television commercial for Reese Cup's...You got chocolate in my peanut butter.
This has been a lifelong issue for me as I am sure it is with others as well. Seems that I worked harder trying to dress appropriatley in drab than enfemme.

[2SpeedTranny]

Ewwww! I hate it when that happens!

:o

[OccasionalSkirt]

The thoughts come in...but I subdue them quickly. I'm VERY compartmentalized. I don't want bleed-over, as that puts a lot of things at risk.

I really have three "me's": the me at work, the me not at work, and Jennifer. Only I know all three. My wife runs a close second, knowing about all three, but really its hard for her to know my work personality and Jennifer. She knows of them, but not the full extent. Everyone else really only gets shades of them.

But I do spend a lot of time in stores checking out the girls...for their clothes!

[NathalieX66]

My Nathalie side has now officially bled into my guy side to the point where my company president is now mocking and chiding my long hair. I work in a corporate environment, and I am starting to get razzed now. I don't have a receding hairline, and I have a few greys that I color.
This frightens me because I have a mortgage to pay. Do they notice the pierced ears & thinner eyebrows too? The ongoing facial electrloysis?

I was also at a family funeral/memorial service (cremation, actually) this weekend , and I got teased by senior relatives & my parents' friends for my long hair.....none of them have seen me this way, and it's a bit of a departure from how they've seen me in the past, and how they know me......oh well, it is what it is...that's life. That I can deal with. My own folks don't care.

I'm more in fear of my professional life, with cherished firends & contacts, but I still want to look like a girl. The two don't go together.

[christinac]

Yes and no. I'm quite proficient at hiding Christina because early on I had no choice but to hide her, but now-a-days I tend to push the boundaries farther and farther as I become more and more in touch with who I am.

[izzfan]

There used to be quite a rigid divide between the two "sides" of myself for quite a long time. To be honest, I didn't really enjoy this that much as my "male" side often felt more awkward, nervous, angry, miserable and dull (this is the best way I can think of describing it when it was at its worst and I was desperately clinging to my "masculinity", and becoming something of an a**hole in the process). From about autumn 2008 onwards, I kind of looked more androgynous (shaving the goatee I had before then helped a lot, for some reason it still symbolises everything that was wrong with my "male" side).

There has been a lot more "bleed through" over the past year or two, there are several reasons for this but the main one was something that happened in 2009 (an existential crisis of sorts where everything suddenly seemed meaningless). Whilst it was very depressing/intense at the time, it prompted a lot of introspection and I learnt a lot about all sorts of things. Also, it wasn't until late 2009 that I finally found a name for my female "side" (Claire). For a long time, my "female side" was this nameless, unknown and "freaky" part of me which I tried to compartmentalise and repress. Finding a name seemed to be quite a big thing for me.

Although I still often act like a guy, sometimes out of habit and sometimes to fit in. Despite my long hair, nail varnish etc.. I still look mostly male a lot of the time, androgynous at most. There are a lot more "female" moments than there used to be and, to me, this is brilliant (as I am often a lot happier and more confident during these times). I also have more of what I call "mirror moments" (named after a drawing I did a few months ago) which is when I glance in the mirror and, for a split second, see myself as totally female. It's hard to describe, but totally amazing. My "male side" is still there but it is less intense than it used to be and I don't take it as seriously as I used to.

Then again, a lot of the better parts of my "male side" have been incorporated seamlessly into my female side and kind of blended together. I'm still a geek [I tend to get geeky about random things - eg: Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" comics, Blade Runner, horror novels, Sherlock Holmes etc...] , I've still got a rather wierd sense of humour, I still like heavy metal, I still like videogames etc... But, these traits are probably gender-neutral anyway.

Sorry about the essay, but this is an absolutely fascinating topic.

[Pythos]

I have often been told I move and at times stand like a girl, this is never stated in a negative manner, but still it is a bit disconcerting. Shouldn't be though.

Last week, I was wearing my blue spandex jeans, and long dress shirt, and dress shoes. According to the GG I was standing in very feminine manner. All I was doing was standing in a manner that placed more weight on one leg than the other, while I was looking at something I was holding.

I am baffled how this is anymore feminine than a female standing with weight evenly distributed is masculine.

Where do we come up with these notions?

[donnalee]

I have often been told I move and at times stand like a girl, this is never stated in a negative manner, but still it is a bit disconcerting. Shouldn't be though.

Last week, I was wearing my blue spandex jeans, and long dress shirt, and dress shoes. According to the GG I was standing in very feminine manner. All I was doing was standing in a manner that placed more weight on one leg than the other, while I was looking at something I was holding.

I am baffled how this is anymore feminine than a female standing with weight evenly distributed is masculine.

Where do we come up with these notions? That's wierd :daydreaming:; I've always stood like that when I'm relaxed, usually leaning against a wall or a door jamb. I don't remember anyone commenting, but it may have happened behind my back. :battingeyelashes:

[Nikki A.]

Don't know if there ia a bleed through, but I spend more time shopping for NIkki than my male side. Went to Salvation thrift store for some work slacks (1/2 price Wednesdays). Bought 2 pairs from the men's dept and one pair from the woman's dept. Even though the 3 pockets are just for decoration (real shallow), I've worn them all to work. Just had to use my murse that day.

[Tina Leigh]

Oh yes girl side does a lot of peeking and makes staying in the closet a little hard some days. Why buy long underwear in winter when leggings are so much more fun, except to get someone noticing red/ pink below the beltline when you are bending over at guys work! But make shopping the biggest challenge amazing how versatile things are if you look and then suddenly SO makes the connection, yes it is a man's shirt just about the most fem one you could find. Guy mode still has some issue with popping out in girl mode, just how the wiring was ran.

[t-girlxsophie]

Actually my wife and I went shopping yesterday for guy clothing,as I am going to my friends (GG) birthday party next week,shirt and denims bought in 20 seconds flat,but on the way to checkout,I just HAD to peruse the racks in the Ladieswear Dept,so we spent another hour looking for something nice,If Anyone I knew saw me in there,would be under no Illusion that I was at home in amongst the Ladies section,holding tops,skirts up to me to check how they look etc,like a kid in a Candy store.That is a confidence issue too

[joan47]

My wife took a photo of me the other day with our dogs, when I saw it, I could not belive how feminine I looked. I have my eyebrows highlighted (to hide the gray hairs) and waxed every two weeks, I have long aryllic gelled nails (Shinny) sometimes with light pink polish, pierced ears, I wear always girls low rise streatch jeans (very tight), girls shoes and tops, a pink baseball cap, and I try to walk as feminine as possible.. I just feel very feminine, I have crossed the line for a long time now, when I go to relatives it is very hard to find guy stuff to wear. I wear girls jeans but not quite as tight as normal. My sister inlaw ased me once " do you pluck your eyebrows? " I say, of course, don't you. I told my other sister inlaw and she is not a big supporter"I think it is a religious thing" anyway she is always asking for favors, moving things etc, I always wear my tighest and most feminine jeans and other girls stuff, perfume, light make-up around her.

[Samantha43]

I don't think I have a girl "side". My wife and I joke about Samantha being a seperate person, but she's really just part of the whole me. I really don't have any female traits. I have to be very conscious of the way I act when I'm dressed as Samantha. It's difficult for me. I watch women and the way they move and act. When I try to duplicate that it feels un-natural.

I absolutely hate shopping. Malls and department stores are little pieces of hell on earth. I do 90% of my shopping on line. Only occasionally do I go shopping with my wife, and I don't enjoy it much. She'll always buy something for "Samantha" to ease my agony.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

For me the idea of having two fully distinct sides of my personality that I have to keep separate from each other at all costs drove me crazy. The paranoia of people discovering my girly aspects or the feeling that I was a different person when I wore a dress just never really sat right for me. When I came out the big reason for it was to just finally be able to be myself, I decided I'd rather be me and risk things not going 100% smoothly all the time than continue living a lie. The closest I come to keeping my "sides" apart these days is the reigning in things at work for the purposes of behaving professionally. I've worn makeup and women's pants to work before and will likely again, but have stopped short of wearing a skirt there because it doesn't fit the dress code and also, I recognize that when I'm on their clock I'm on their time. But otherwise I try to just dress and behave how I naturally feel.

It's not always easy, just yesterday I had a guy yell profanities at me on the street as I walked by, but I just held my head up and kept walking.