What's your situation?1. Accepts, 2.Knows, but not accept 3.Does not know

[BRANDYJ]

For those of us that are either married or in a committed relationship, I am wondering.....1 how many of you have accepting wives or SO's
2 She knows but is not accepting
3 You have kept it a secret and if so, how long?

I have been married 3 times in my life. My first wife never knew, but that was before I even knew what I was. My second wife was the very first person i ever told about my crossdressing. I told her about 2 years before we married. She became very accepting after the initial shock and questions. Sadly, she died in 1984.
My now ex-wife also knew before we married and also was very accepting for almost almost 17 years married. Divorced for totally unrelated reasons. We are friends today.
My current SO knew from day one since we met on an alternate lifestyle site where I presented both my male and fem side.

Also, for our beloved GG's, how many knew before you were committed to the relationship?
How many found out about your husband's crossdressing shortly after marriage.
How many found out on your own?
How many learned of it from your husband years later?

I'm curious as to how and when we all shared this part of ourselves. Kind of an informal poll.

[AnnaCalliope]

SO of 5 years knows, accepts and embraces it.

[Bethany38]

Married fifteen years as of the 23rd. My honey knows, loves and accepts me as Bethany. She is my greatest supporter.

[Madilyn A.]

Hi Brandy, My wife has known since our honeymoon, when she asked me to wear her new gift of lingerie. Her rationale was that I was more interested in her stockings and garterbelt than she was, so she helped me into them......Now 38 years later, she is accepting but doesn't participate as in the past.

[BillieJoEllen]

Wifey knows but is very UNACCEPTING!!!

[Sophie86]

1. Accepts [and participates to a certain degree, but is nervous about the wrong people finding out (certain family members, coworkers, etc)].

She did not know before we were married. In those days I thought the dressing was a surrogate for having a woman in my life and that it would go away once I was with someone steady. When it came back, I kept it hidden for many years. I went to counseling and was able to get a better understanding and acceptance of myself, but my therapist actually advised me not to run home and tell my wife. We met in 1986, got married in 1987, and I went for counseling in 1990. I didn't finally tell her until 2001. She was surprised but didn't freak out. Less than a year after I told her, though, we went through a difficult period in our relationship due to other reasons, and I my desire to dress evaporated. Because of that, she got the impression that the dressing was not a very serious thing with me, just an odd, occasional fetish. When it came back again in late 2009 she was surprised by how far I suddenly wanted to take it--dressing up completely, full body shaving, wanting to go out, etc. There was a period of adjustment, but we seem to be pretty solid now. (Knock on wood.) She helps me pick out clothes, gives me her hand-me-downs, alters/sews things for me, and has been out with me a few times. I haven't yet convinced her that Sophie's clothes should be part of the clothes budget, rather than the playthings budget, but we're doing very well on the whole.

[DeSkirt]

Married to my first wife for 16 years. She knew before we were married and started out accepting, then changed.
I am now married for 10 years. My wife was well aware and accepting before we were married and has since'd changed her stance to knowing but not accepting.

[Cheryl T]

Married 35 years...wife has known for 25.
1. Accepts and goes out with me everywhere...shopping, Tri-Ess meetings, movies, dinner. She helps me shop, develop my style and in general is the greatest girlfriend/spouse a girl could ask for...Love her dearly.

[Jessica86]

Accepts. Been married for two, known for five. Told her early, and I think that is what helped a lot. She doesn't really participate, but sometimes, tosses me stuff and says "Put this on" like that guy off scary movie with the football gear. Just makes you go...."What the?" I enjoy it though. We crack jokes about it, and to us, its no big deal.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

1. Accepts [and participates to a certain degree, but is nervous about the wrong people finding out (certain family members, coworkers, etc)].



That's me too.

I didn't really know about my crossdressing tillwe had been married for 10 years. Looking back, I can see the pattern now, but.... I didn't really want to dress up fully untill about 2004 & then it went full tilt.

She has been as understanding as she can be and far more than I ever thought. She loves me for who I am, but wishes I didn't want to do this.

We love each other with all our flaws & failings. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[TGMarla]

I'm in the second category: She knows, but ain't too thrilled about it.

[Joanne f]

My wife knows and is completely accepting of my dressing although the fist 5-6 months of knowing was a very touch and go sort of time but in the end she decided that nothing would come in between us.

[BRANDYJ]

That's me too.

I didn't really know about my crossdressing tillwe had been married for 10 years. Looking back, I can see the pattern now, but.... I didn't really want to dress up fully untill about 2004 & then it went full tilt.

She has been as understanding as she can be and far more than I ever thought. She loves me for who I am, but wishes I didn't want to do this.

We love each other with all our flaws & failings. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kim, Thanks for sharing. I think it's beautiful that your wife accepts that you are who you are even though she wishes you did not dress. I can think of things mt So does that I wish were different, but accpet her and love her just the way she is. The good thing is you are not having to hide it as so many do.
I hid it from my first wife since I was not sure what it was anyway. I also thought it would go away when I got married at the ripe old age of 17. But as we now know, that never happens.

[katesometimes]

Married 25 years, wife has known for most of them. She accepts to a degree, but I think she considers it more of a fetish thing in my case.

[Stephanie47]

Knows and is not accepting. It's DADT If she knew how many feminine garments I have, she would probably freak out.

[BRANDYJ]

Accepts. Been married for two, known for five. Told her early, and I think that is what helped a lot. She doesn't really participate, but sometimes, tosses me stuff and says "Put this on" like that guy off scary movie with the football gear. Just makes you go...."What the?" I enjoy it though. We crack jokes about it, and to us, its no big deal.

I think it's great that you and your wife can crack jokes about it. Acceptance without participation is better then having to hide it. Bet it feels good when she says, "go put this on". Kind of a loving tease maybe?

[Evelyn_SF]

Hi friends,
I am new - this is my 2nd post.
Like so many of you, I have been dressing since I was a teen (13) starting in my Mother's extensive boudoir.
I have never been able to completely escape this facet of my personality and the immeasurable pleasure and joy it brings to my heart and mind. That being said, I am 46 and closeted. My wife does not know and I have been secure in this secret.

I have a very good job that allows me to to telecommute. As of the past year, I have been dressing several times a week whle my spouse is at work. This allows me to be Evelyn, feel like Evelyn, indulge in Evelyn and improve her appearance.

I do have balance in this and an understanding of myself - but of course some part of me really longs to be totally transparent and free of the encumberments of secrecy. There are just a few too many issues in my life that prevent this currently, but some day I hope to be able to be Evelyn openly.

I appreciate this forum as it gives me and all of us a chance to really express these intimate thoughts.

Evelyn

[Chastitycd]

I have a great wife of 3 years now who not only knows, accepts, and supports, but helps. Without her I would be lost. Not only is she my wife but shes the best friend I could ever ask for!

[Kali]

We've been together almost 9 years, getting married this summer.

The serious interest developed since we have been together. My fiancee is actively supportive, picking the name I use, shopping and buying clothes for and with me, and making acccomodations to our lives to allow me this freedom to express who I am.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi friends,
I am new - this is my 2nd post.
Like so many of you, I have been dressing since I was a teen (13) starting in my Mother's extensive boudoir.
I have never been able to completely escape this facet of my personality and the immeasurable pleasure and joy it brings to my heart and mind. That being said, I am 46 and closeted. My wife does not know and I have been secure in this secret.
I have a very good job that allows me to to telecommute. As of the past year, I have been dressing several times a week whle my spouse is at work. This allows me to be Evelyn, feel like Evelyn, indulge in Evelyn and improve her appearance.
I do have balance in this and an understanding of myself - but of course some part of me really longs to be totally transparent and free of the encumberments of secrecy. There are just a few too many issues in my life that prevent this currently, but some day I hope to be able to be Evelyn openly.
I appreciate this forum as it gives me and all of us a chance to really express these intimate thoughts.
Evelyn

First, welcome to the best site on the Internet for finding friends and support Evelyn. Glad you found us.
I would find it so hard to hide something so personal, so big a part of my life from the woman I love and that loves me. I know for some, it might be the the only way to stay married. For others, it's just their perception about how their wife might react if they shared this part of themselves with them. I feel sorry for those that feel they can't be open and honest with the one person that is supposed to love them through thick and thin. I think the worst part about hiding this, is when and if the wife finds out on her own and then feels so shocked, cheated, lied to. That scenerio usually die snot go well. So you will learn that most of the GG's here, as well as most of the CD's, believe that at some point you need to have that talk.
I wish you well my friend.

Wanted to add, I am not judging you or anyone else that feels the need to hide. At some point in our lives we all hid it from someone, if only our parents. I did from my first wife and remember the frustration it caused me for the 5 years that marriage lasted.

[Jamie48]

My Wife knows and accepts me but does not participate.

[Tina B.]

She knows! we have been married for 38 years, and I told her when it came on me five years into the marriage, I hadn't dressed in years, but things where stressful, and I found myself wanting to dress again, after years of not dressing. I had lost one wife to this, but was willing to risk losing another, but I'm terrible at lying, and not very good at keeping secrets from my love one, ( I don't Christmas shop until the last minute, so I'm not so tempted to show it to her early.) So for me it had to be come clean, and take my chances. She accepted me day one, not to say I didn't have to answer the standard questions. Back then I thought of myself as a Transvestite, never heard of crossdresser, but now, I think I might be a bit more. either that or old age, and loss of hormones, has just brought it all out more. I never know what people mean by participate, she shops for me, gives me gifts like perfume, jewelry, and womens clothes, but I dress myself, by myself, I do my own hair and make up, and I pick the look. She on the other hand, tells me I look pretty, I like that outfit on you, that skirt is a bit short, and that sweater is a bit tight, type of things, and I love the input, and the complements. We watch fashion shows, and diss on the outfits we don't like, and we both like chick flicks. And that is all the participation I need! Oh, and occasionally she brings me flowers!
Tina B.

[Danielle Gee]

Hi Brandy:

I've been married to my Sweetie for 42 years and she's known of my CDing for thirty years or so . She's been very helpful and accepting. I love her soooooo much ii hurts somtimes!!!

Great post: Danielle

[Jeannie]

Put me down for #1. She helps me buy clothes and shoes and loans me some of her makeup as well as clothes. I can't wear her shoes, she is a size 7 1\2 and I am a size 10. We were discussing about not keeping secrets and she had already told me lots of stuff so I said "self, it is time to throw it out there and see where it lands" I was very lucky that it landed in the right place. We have been happily married for 22 year and Jeannie can come out when she wants to. I don't think my other two wives knew anything about it because it never came up during the divorces.

Jeannie

[Jill Devine]

Based on your scoring guidelines, my wife is a 1.5
LOL.

Married 15 years.

[Alice B]

Wife of almost 19 years. Knows, accepts to an acceptable degree for me. Does not participate.

[Gillian Gigs]

#1, my SO is accepting, and we have made our compromsies to make life flow easier. She prefers to not shop with me, but knows to give me time in the store when I want it. Around the house I can do pretty well as much as I want. I underdress 24/7, and this doesn't interfere with anything, even with our love making, as I can wear what I want. The one excemption is that she doesn't want to see the bra, what she can't see until a shirt doesn't matter. They are all pretty small compromises that are easy to live with.

[Diana Rae]

I'm luchy enough to go with #1. I told her about a year after we were married because I thought I could quit. Yeah, right! Anyway after the initial shock period of about a week, I was accepted. That was in 1986.

[WandaRae2009]

She knows but doesn't accept. We have been married for 26, she has known for 2. Keeping the secret was a big mistake. Access to a forum like this back then would have changed a whole lot.

[SusanMarie]

Big #1
accepts, supports, encourages, participates

[Samantha43]

I've been married for 23 years. I told her before we were married. She seemed to tolerate, and even support my crossdressing for the first 20 years or so. Within the last couple of years, she has told me that she prefers to have Samantha around. I guess Samantha is more relaxed and fun to be around than "Sam". She even asks if Samantha is coming over for the weekend!

I realize I am truly blessed.

No you can't have her! :D

[GingerLeigh]

I've got a feeling she knows, not that I told her. She's not exactly accepting, nor throwing me to the curb. We've been married for 9 years. I've been hinting and the people at work apparently know and rumors have been spreading (again not that I told them). I think my crossdressing is my worst kept secret ever. I hope I'm right and she knows. The hints I've been throwing have been no-brainers, she'd have to be real dense not to know now, and she's not dense.

Ginger

[xd-tigger]

My wife is very accepting. She was told by an ex friend that I am a crossdresser, alothough she figured it out after i dressed in front of her after 2 weeks and the comments on myspace pics of her skirts lol.
She buys me skirts and dresses and shirts and panties. I am very lucky.

[janec]

we have been together for 15 years now and married for four she did not know when we first met was not for a few years later that i told her but any way she knows and does not want to be involved or see me dressed but she is ok with me buying my make up from avon and we also have a laugh and joke and some times dissus clothes and things so some kind of acceptance i guess

[LitaKelley]

1: Accepts, supports and participates, even encourages and supports transition. Been married 13yrs, come out to her around Aug 2010...

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife knows and accepts. She is very helpful, but she doesn't want to meet Lisa. She has shopped with me in drab, loaned me her anonymous car so I can go out shopping, given me nail polish that she doesn't use and other things. We have been married 35 years and she has known for about 16 years. I am very fortunate!!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brandy,

#2 My wife of 47years tollerates it but it's a don't ask ** don't tell kinda thinggie
I know my boundries and I don't cross them.
I don't rock the boat because the Captian may make me walk the plank.

Orchid

[kathie225]

Kathie is in a similar circumstance. Wife knows and even buys Kathie some clothes (it was a sale too good to pass up), but Kathie knows her boundaries and doesn't over step them. Our marriage is in its 45th year.

[suchacutie]

Married 37 years. Neither of us knew I was transgendered until 5 summers ago, and in a stunning week Tina suddenly appeared as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Since then we've been trying to find out who Tina is. My wife is rather fascinated by the duality and the closeness Tina has brought us is nothing short of amazing. Only last weekend, I needed to soak a sore shoulder. My wife said, "if it's Tina in the bath, remember I have those bath salts she might like"! mmm, I love her very much!

[PamelaRI]

I'm in the #2 camp. I told my wife of almost 16 years when we were dating and she asked me to try to stop. As someone mentioned earlier in the thread, I thought my dressing was a curiosity that would be satiated by marriage. Well, I was wrong and looking back at my life up to that point and since, I should have known at the time that I was wrong. There have been a few insult laden conversations since that time which is very out of character for her because she is one of the nicest, most charitable and find the good in everything people that I know. She really is a great life partner in the mainstream sense. For many years the officially stated policy has been "I wish you wouldn't, but if you do I don't want to see it." The unfortunate part is that from her perspective, the sentence really ends at wouldn't. Even more unfortunate, she never really wants to discuss it for more than a couple of minutes and then she wants to bury the subject.

[JOJO44]

Hi Brandy:

I've been married to my Sweetie for 42 years and she's known of my CDing for thirty years or so . She's been very helpful and accepting. I love her soooooo much ii hurts somtimes!!!

Great post: Danielle


Hang on and cherish her with all your might.

My wife and I just celebrated our 43nd anniversary on what will probably be her death bed (she has cancer).

She has known for probably thirty-five to forty of those years, and while she does not accept, she does not scream, rant or rave about it either.

I am going to miss her very much.

[JennaDesire]

My wife is completely and absolutely against it. If there was a 10, it would be a 10.

[CaitlynRenee]

Hard to say sometimes. She had an idea I think, right after we were married, but I was on active duty at the time and didn't dress much at all. More of a 'panties only' series of episodes, a comfort thing with me, a therapy if you will. I didn't know at the time that my subconcious mind had reached all the way back to my childhood when my Grandma dressed me as a little girl in panties, slip, dress and anklets with little Mary Jane shoes. My clothes were in the laundry so Grandma 'went for it'. Mom thought it was 'cute'. Somehow, I knew even then that it was 'right for me'. I felt at peace. That reaching back was what ultimately saved my life. I told my lady that it made me feel 'destressed', and at peace. She neither participated nor ignored Caitlyn since Caitlyn didn't exist at the time. Just a guy who was hurting alot and found comfort en femme.

Luckily, she never was angry or hostile about it. One day, after suffering from an old groin injury for a couple of years, she said I should try on some tight fitting panties and see if that would relieve some of the pain. Total relief. Since then, she's bought me panties, nightgowns, long slips, body shapers and nylons. I bought my own garter belt. I sleep in a nightgown and robe usually, wear panties daily and we sit in the living room (me dressed) and watch tv, hold hands, drink a glass of wine, etc. I like the etc. It's been 32 years to date.

My youngest daughter knows and thinks her dad is 'cool'. I guess that's about all I could ask for.

Now, for some of you who's SOs are NOT accepting, your avatar explains it. You look so good, there is just too much competition!

[Molly Wells]

My wife and I have been married 30 years. I told her before we married. She was tolerant in the beginning. As the kids came along I dressed less and always alone. I stayed in the closet and kept my dressing to myself. I later began to travel some on business and got some Molly time in. As the kids grew up I dressed more at home but always by myself. I brought the subject up to her about 5 years ago and she was shocked to find out I still dressed. She wants no part of it but she is aware that it exists. She usually calls me before she comes home so I know when to expect her. (I'm not certain she calls to make sure I have time to change, but it works for me!). She knows I like to take an occasional "alone" trip and encourages me from time to time to go "unwind."
Molly

[kathtx]

Together 27 years, married 24, she's known since our first year of marriage. She's been very accepting and encouraging from the beginning. I knew she was fascinated by drag and gay culture, so it wasn't too much of a worry for me to come out to her. Mostly, I had first had to admit to myself my desire to dress, after which coming out to her followed easily.

Even in the best of circumstances, dealing with being transgendered or being married to a TG is an adventure that we figure out as we go along, without many examples to guide us. For both of us it's been an ongoing journey of figuring out who we are. For her, it took her until her mid 20s to admit to herself her attraction to women, and until her early 30s to realize that she's pretty much *only* attracted to women and feel comfortable identifying herself as a lesbian. For me, it took me until about age 35 to get my head around feeling I was a MTF transexual rather than a male crossdresser. At this point we're both pretty comfortable in our own skins but there are still issues such as dealing with her very conservative family.

[5150 Girl]

Full knowlage and aceptence from the start.
I was dresed as Sarah Palin when we met

[AlanaBCD]

Completely against it. I just came out to her a couple of months ago. She hates it. We almost separated this last weekend. Going to therapy and working on things. I feel like we are making progress in the right direction. I don't know what will eventually happen though. I keep hoping for the best.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I am one of those who (unfortunately) lacked the courage to tell all in the early stages of a developing relationship. I kept this important information from my wife for about 8 years before coming clean in late 2008. My wife now knows all about Tasha and my skirts and dresses hang freely next to my guy crap in our wardrobe.

My wife is OK with me CDing around the house (no hair or makeup) when it's just the two of us, and she knows I frequent the shopping malls as Tasha. CDing around the house when my wife is present is only a very recent development as up until very recently we had the good old DADT policy.

Acceptance is hard to judge though. My wife accepts that Tasha is a large part of who I am and will not just go away, but I would describe my wifes feelings as tolerance in a resigned kinda way.

Hope that answers the question.

Tash :)

[Jenniferathome]

Been married 20+ years and she has no clue. At least I think she has no clue. She's never even hinted and given my male persona, she'd not likely make this leap. I wish I could tell her. Just can't het the words out.

[dominique]

I would add another category 4: She found out, stopped but started again. Feeling in the back of my mind she knows i still dress but hasn't brought it up. That's my situation.

[pinklilly211]

I guess that I also fall inbetween the choices, My SO knows all about Lilly. I keep all my things in full view in the closet and in my dresser. But she still would rather not know about it, A DADT situation. Lilly

[Mary Jane]

My wife knows and only tolerates it.

[lorisdream]

I'm a #1 here. Nothing like having a supportive spouse.

[tammy tee]

My first wife of 19 years knew in the last two years and accepted with concerns about the kids. She sadly passed away. I remarried and told my current wife, she accepts, supports and is sad I am unable to go 24/7. She respects my choice not to. I do enjoy being a trad father to my children. I also feel having lost their mom, one more lose of their dad, would be too difficult for them to accept. Thankfully my current wife is very progressive and encourages my fem ways including my bisexuality. I am personaly very happy and content but often have some quilt for asking so much of my beautiful wife. I try to make up for it by still being a great dad and husband. It's amazing how well a family can work with no abuse, drinking or drugs.
Tammy

[JenniferR771]

Janice knows, but does not accept, (at least not much).

[meichenchan]

Before I started dating my SO, I let her know that I was a crossdresser. We've been together now almost seven years. She accepts that I crossdress and she is okay with me buying clothes and dressing up, however I can't CD whenever I want. The manager of her apartment complex threatened her with eviction if they caught me crossdressing, so I don't have anywhere safe to change (I live at home with my parents and they don't know anything about my crossdressing).

Beyond that, we go clothes shopping together but the lack of freedom to CD (I'm afraid to now) has put a small strain on our relationship as it's hard to suppress this part of me.

[Tina Leigh]

Not sure what I fit into maybe 2.5, She has known, wanted it stopped, hates it, is suspicious always but I hide it and don't get to far out of a very small closet locked from the inside. Been married 17 + yrs she first knew sort of at about 3 yrs in when I finally identified as CD, but baby was 2 mo. and not a good time. Tina

[Lorileah]

My wife accepted it and allowed me to dress when ever I wanted. Participate? I really don't know what that means, you put on a song and dance routine? Many here would take that as sex "play" I would think because that seems what many here want. Or doing your make up and nails? If you mean interaction as two people in the same house, she participated.

My SO now knows and accepts and likes Lori and goes out with her to places and we have a fun time.

In any case I have always been up front from the start. So, if there had been any hint that dressing was something that would be unacceptable, there would not have been a relationship. You have to choose your course yourself.

[Zoe Preston]

My wife knows, still loves me and to echo Kim's answer she truly wishes that I didn't want to CD. Small signs of tolerance, but she doesn't want to get involved, doesn't want to see me dressed or see pictures of me dressed.

Zoe

[Crystal Alberta]

1. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little more than a year now, and she accepts 100%. I told her that I was a crossdresser within our first week of going out, and now Crystal is a part of both of our lives.

Crystal

[Elle1946]

Number 1, I need to add more to get this message out.

[Debie]

My wife does know finally told her after 26 years of marriage, and she is very accepting
as long as I do not go out as Debbie to often once a week seems to be OK.
Hugs
Debbie Lynne

[MonicaTC]

My SO knows and completely accepts whole heartedly. She even knew before I started dressing. In the first couple of months of dating she noticed all my "feminine" behaviors and gestures and was certain that she would see me in a dress fairly quickly. LOL. I was open early on in the relationship that I had dressed on many occasions before meeting her. And having been with her I felt the security of a great relationship to allow myself to be free finally. Love her.

[Jilmac]

I was married twice, both spouses knew from the time we dated and niether of them accepted it. I'm in a relationship now with an accepting woman however she has no desire to see me dressed and that's ok with me as long as I don't have to hide any more.

[Jenny Gurl]

Before I started dating my SO, I let her know that I was a crossdresser. We've been together now almost seven years. She accepts that I crossdress and she is okay with me buying clothes and dressing up, however I can't CD whenever I want. The manager of her apartment complex threatened her with eviction if they caught me crossdressing, so I don't have anywhere safe to change (I live at home with my parents and they don't know anything about my crossdressing).

Beyond that, we go clothes shopping together but the lack of freedom to CD (I'm afraid to now) has put a small strain on our relationship as it's hard to suppress this part of me.

Many states prohibit an apartment for evicting you just because you are GLBT, in your case being in the T category or Transgendered. You might look up the laws in the state you live in and if they do try to evict you they might be facing an investigation from the state for discrimination. If they threatened you already they must know you do it. You might consider looking up the laws and if they do prohibit discrimination due to being transgendered, you could make it clear to the manager that a law suit would be sure to follow. I don't want to encourage you to rock the boat, but living under a constant fear of not being able to be yourself in your home doesn't sound like a very stress free environment.

[Jenny Gurl]

Thanks to the advice on this site I informed my SO early in the relationship. I don't believe in blurting it out the first night, but when you have been together long enough to know you are both going to try and make it work as a permanent relationship they should be told so they know before it goes too long. They should have a right to know if they want to enter into this relationship long term with these variables. This also is good so they don't feel like they were lied to or trapped later if you are married. Thanks to all the good advice to all those who shared. It probably helped me not make the mistake so many have made before me. Not only does she accept it I don't have to hide it. She knows, accepts, and somewhat participates. We have not gone out together but then again I have not gone out. When we are shopping she asks if Jenny would like this dress, or these shoes with this skirt. She has done my nails at home and I have done hers. She has done my makeup and thought it was fun. Aside from her accepting me, she is an angel and I feel so blessed to have her.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife didn't know for the first 13 years of our marriage. Okay, I didn't know for the first 13 years of our marriage. But since it developed with both of us involved, she has definitely been accepting. She goes to Tri-Ess meetings, movies, eating out, shopping and anything else with me. I dress freely around the house and it just isn't any different to her. The way she treats me in drab is the way she treats me dressed.

[Chemise]

Knows but she doesn't want to see me dressed.

[paulaluvssz8]

2..... She knows and was accepting to a point. Then told me to STOP or else... So I still dress and she knows. But doesn't say anything as long as I keep it to myself.

[Christy_M]

My first wife found out 2 years into the marriage and participated (not just sex, but help with fashion, make-up and hair as well as just spending time together talking and hanging out). My second wife found out after the divorce when my bitter first wife told her. My current wife knows and would give almost anything for me not to need this in my life. She knows it is a part of me that will never go away and loves me enough to not leave becasue of it. She has no desire to see me dressed nor does she want to hear about me being dressed. She allows me time to do this periodically which I can't really complain about too much.

[Natalie Wood]

My wife of 11yrs has known now for only 6 months now. She is very accepting. Many answers have been answered thanks to me coming out with my cd and her being accepting and discussing. We have both learned so much about ourselves, each other, our marriage and crossdressing in general. What an amazing journey this is. Our happiness level has increased dramatically due to our honesty with each other.

We want to write a book entitled "How Crossdressing saved our Marriage." Intrigued? So are we.

[Sandy Banks]

#2..........................................separa ted for 6 yrs................she considers me a pervert..................

[BRANDYJ]

For the sake of this discussion, I think "participation" would include anything that acknowledges you as a crossdresser. It could be in the simplest ways such as buying you a feminine article of clothing, even only as a gift for Christmas, birthdays etc. Maybe just giving you her hand-me-downs. Maybe it's just a quick comment about how you'd like a dress she sees. She does not necessarily have to go out with you dressed...or do your makeup, want to see you dressed or even see pictures of you. But she at least does not shun that side of you all together. Anything but the Don't Ask, Don't tell could be her way of participating. She does not have to love it or like it, but accepts that it is a part of you and does not avoid all talk about it.

[t-girlxsophie]

My first wife totally detested my dressing point blank,and cant get why my wife understands,once said that she had no respect for her,because she also lets her kids see me dressed,So my situation now is so far removed from first time round that it is possible to get,My Wife knew from before we met,And she loves my femme side,we go out together,shopping too and I dress about the house most days (and some nights) As long as she gets the fair share of guy time with me.Our relationship is wonderful and am so glad I met such a wonderful,and understanding partner.

[Cristi]

1
I told my wife while we were still dating. She is very accepting and has never had a problem with it. 25 years married and she still buys me jewelry and the occasional clothes for Christmas. :)

[Kathy4ever]

married 18 yrs and she knows but not accepting. Progree a little the past 3 months. E[ilate my legs and she let me wear a nightgown to bed. Of course it was not a strappy one that I would rather wear. Very small steps.

[sonna]

she knows she hates it but at the same time im allowed to were night gowns and panties.

but if i put on a bra in front of her i might as well just set myself on fire to avoid the yelling and screeming
(((confused me to))) but im happy for what i got right now .

[trina]

For those of us that are either married or in a committed relationship, I am wondering.....1 how many of you have accepting wives or SO's
2 She knows but is not accepting
3 You have kept it a secret and if so, how long?

I have been married 3 times in my life. My first wife never knew, but that was before I even knew what I was. My second wife was the very first person i ever told about my crossdressing. I told her about 2 years before we married. She became very accepting after the initial shock and questions. Sadly, she died in 1984.
My now ex-wife also knew before we married and also was very accepting for almost almost 17 years married. Divorced for totally unrelated reasons. We are friends today.
My current SO knew from day one since we met on an alternate lifestyle site where I presented both my male and fem side.

Also, for our beloved GG's, how many knew before you were committed to the relationship?
How many found out about your husband's crossdressing shortly after marriage.
How many found out on your own?
How many learned of it from your husband years later?

I'm curious as to how and when we all shared this part of ourselves. Kind of an informal poll.



Hey everyone,
I'm a new member and wife of a cd (I guess I'm a GG?--not sure what it means). I found out about my husband through his cousin (also my friend) who opened up a browser on the computer and my husbands sexylittlecrossdresser myspace popped up. This was four years ago. We had been together for 3 years, almost to the day, were 19 at the time and had been living together for a few months. I remember being so shocked and upset. I didn't know what to think or do. I also remember blurting out a few minutes after I saw the pictures that, "It's wierd, but I can't think of anything that Jeff could do that would make me not love him." Don't get me wrong, it was very awkward that night when I confronted him about it. He has always been very emotional and this was no exception. He said he never wanted to do it(he had been doing it for 6 yrs then) and always felt guilty afterward. He promised he would never do it again-I didn't ask him to..it was his idea-not that I, honestly was opposed to it then. Anyway, we spoke very little about it, yet continued with our life together.

We had a beautiful baby boy a couple years ago and finally got married this last year. Every once in a while the fact that he was a crossdresser would get to me and I would pick a fight about it. Well, actually, I have to say it was mostly because of all the lying--I mean, he had a completely separate life from me that he was hiding since the beginning of our relationship! How was I supposed to trust him? Trust became a huge issue all the time. I started to notice how he wasn't as happy as he used to be (neither was I, but I suspected there was something else going on). Of course, my first reaction was that he was cheating on me.

Moving on, a few days ago I was looking through the pictures on his phone, deleting any ugly ones of myself and cooing over the adorable pictures of our son, when I came across about 50 pictures of him from back in the beginning to our house now! My heart was pounding as I walked in to talk to him and almost passed out. He was, of course, in denial-even when i had the pictures right in front of me! We talked a lot about what was going on and why he was still wanting to do it. I kept trying to tell him that just like in the case of a homosexual- you are born that way and theres nothing you can do but learn to accept it. He said he never wanted to do it again. I told him that if we were to move forward with our relationship we would have to create some sort of a compromise and it would have to include his crossdressing--even if I never seen it(for example..Tuesdays are his girlie days). He asked if I would be around still if that were our compromise. I told him, honestly, that I didn't know. Now, we have made up, but still havent set our rules completely. I am trying to be as accepting as possible because I love him more than life itself and I KNOW he feels the same. I would never want him to hide his true self. How aweful would that be to go through life (I know many of you know what I'm talking about) and have to hide the real you? IT disgusts me to think that that is what I've been having him do the last four years! I hate myself for it.

Well, thanks for listening--it felt good to get that out. I would love to hear any of your responses- cders, GGs, TGs, and anyone else. THanks!

[Phoebe P.]

My wife and I have known each other since we were 14 and have been married 15 years in November. She knows and is accepting, but it was pretty ugly at first. I didn't come out in a very tactful way. I cooked her dinner for her birthday and when I served it I was Phoebe. Talk about a shock! Phoebe slept alone that night and screwed up her birthday to boot! Very insensitive. She now makes my makeup and underwear purchases for me. I love her SO much!

[Janine cd]

My wife knows, but is not accepting. As long as I don't dress in her view she tolerates it. She knows that I have a closet full of feminine clothes and at least two dozen pairs of shoes and boots, but she simply ignores them. I believe that her unacceptance is related to her strict religious
upbringing.

[BRANDYJ]

Hello Trina, Welcome to the best site on the Internet to learn, share and make friends. We are like family here. I must say, you expressed yourself very well and I'm sure made many think about there own situation. I thought I'd edit down your post and comment on a few things that struck me. I hope you don't mind and more importantly...I hope it helps.
Oh by the way, "GG"means GENETIC GIRL

I would suggest you making the required 10 posts and then join FAB ( Females At Birth) I'm sure one of the Mods will invite you once you make 20 posts on any topic in the open forums. In FAB's, only GG's can read or post. Males, can't read or post there.


QUOTE=trina;2426021]Hey everyone,
I'm a new member and wife of a cd (I guess I'm a GG?--not sure what it means). up. This was four years ago. We had been together for 3 years, almost to the day, were 19 at the time and had been living together for a few months.

I remember being so shocked and upset. I didn't know what to think or do. I also remember blurting out a few minutes after I saw the pictures that, "It's wierd, but I can't think of anything that Jeff could do that would make me not love him."
I bet you were! I can only imagine. I bet it's not so much that he liked to wear feminine clothes as much as your finding out he hid something this important to him from you. And all this time you thought you knew him. It has to hurt.


He has always been very emotional and this was no exception.
He said he never wanted to do it(he had been doing it for 6 yrs then) and always felt guilty afterward. He promised he would never do it again-

He was not lying. It is a compulsion or drive that many of us get at such an early age or at least by the time going through puberty starts. Many of us felt the shame, the guilt and even scared that we were somehow not normal.
His promise to never do it again was out of fear that he'd lose you. But maybe he doesn't know that he can't keep that promise. But if he could, he would just to prove to you that he loves you and is the same man you fell in love with. It sounds like he has not yet accepted himself. For some of us, that takes time. Maybe you can help him learn to accept himself by showing him you understand and accept this part of who he is. But yes, you do need to set some boundaries. It's not all about him, your comfort level is important and should not be pushed.

Anyway, we spoke very little about it, yet continued with our life together.

We had a beautiful baby boy a couple years ago and finally got married this last year. Every once in a while the fact that he was a crossdresser would get to me and I would pick a fight about it. Well, actually, I have to say it was mostly because of all the lying--I mean, he had a completely separate life from me that he was hiding since the beginning of our relationship!
Believe me, he did not want it that way. But out of fear of you seeing him less a man and fear of losing you made him hide it. He felt he had no choice.

How was I supposed to trust him? Trust became a huge issue all the time.
Trust is easy to lose and hard to gain back. But it's not impossible. It comes down to open and honest communication. Not always easy, but with the love you share and patience on both his part and yours, you will find a way to trust again.

I started to notice how he wasn't as happy as he used to be (neither was I, but I suspected there was something else going on). Of course, my first reaction was that he was cheating on me.

The cheating issue is always the first suspicion most wives might have when the husband withdraws and seems unhappy at home. If I'm reading you right, you realized that it's the crossdressing need he has and had to put away in order to keep your love. Very wise of you to see that. ( in his way of thinking)

Moving on, a few days ago I was looking through the pictures on his phone, deleting any ugly ones of myself and cooing over the adorable pictures of our son, when I came across about 50 pictures of him from back in the beginning to our house now! My heart was pounding as I walked in to talk to him and almost passed out.

I feel for you, I really do. That''s the hiding and like living a lie. I'm so sorry y9u had to go through that.

He was, of course, in denial-even when i had the pictures right in front of me! We talked a lot about what was going on and why he was still wanting to do it.
Again, that denial is his way of trying to keep you and at the same time, he is not ready to accept himself for who and what he is. He sees his crossdressing as something evil, bad, or maybe sinful. So yes, the denial is evident.


I kept trying to tell him that just like in the case of a homosexual- you are born that way and theres nothing you can do but learn to accept it.
You are so right. We are born this way. Or maybe socialized into it at an early age. Something triggers it. Continue to help him accept himself. You sound liek you are ready to accept it now even more then he is.

He said he never wanted to do it again. I told him that if we were to move forward with our relationship we would have to create some sort of a compromise and it would have to include his crossdressing--even if I never seen it(for example..Tuesdays are his girlie days).

Have you got any idea how many CD's would love to hear these words from their wives? You my dear lady are a beautiful woman to be so caring and loving.

He asked if I would be around still if that were our compromise. I told him, honestly, that I didn't know.

He asked because he wishes you would be, that is if he can accept himself enough to let you see him dressed. He may tell he does not want you to...That damn denial thing again. But deep down, he wishes he could share this part of himself with you.

Now, we have made up, but still havent set our rules completely.

Well, what are ya waiting for? (wink) You need to take the lead and set those boundaries that are important to you for your own happiness and comfort level.

I am trying to be as accepting as possible because I love him more than life itself and I KNOW he feels the same. I would never want him to hide his true self. How aweful would that be to go through life
(I know many of you know what I'm talking about) and have to hide the real you?

How did you get so wise so young Trina? He is a very lucky man to have you!

IT disgusts me to think that that is what I've been having him do the last four years! I hate myself for it.
Don't hate yourself! You reacted like any normal woman would. The only difference is, you are willing to compromise and make this work for him and for you. It took time for you to come to terms with this. Many women never do. I commend you for being the loving wife you are.

Well, thanks for listening--it felt good to get that out. I would love to hear any of your responses- cders, GGs, TGs, and anyone else. THanks![/QUOTE]

No Trina, Thank You! Thanks for sharing your story. We don't get to hear a GG's side to often, so it's always nice when one of our GG members takes the time to share here feelings and story about how she is learning to accept her partner's gender issues.

[BRANDYJ]

My wife and I have known each other since we were 14 and have been married 15 years in November. She knows and is accepting, but it was pretty ugly at first. I didn't come out in a very tactful way. I cooked her dinner for her birthday and when I served it I was Phoebe. Talk about a shock! Phoebe slept alone that night and screwed up her birthday to boot! Very insensitive. She now makes my makeup and underwear purchases for me. I love her SO much!

Phoebe, I have never heard of good results when coming out to a wife or SO this way! But now you realize it. I bet it was scary as all get out! I know I'd rather go about it in a more subtle way. Like having that talk first. Glad it worked out for you.

[Jessica_Dillon]

Hey everyone,
I'm a new member and wife of a cd (I guess I'm a GG?--not sure what it means). THanks!

Trina,
Okay...for the first question, it's an easy answer. GG= Genetic Girl. Phew...now that I've got that off my chest!

I've been married for nearly 8 years now. We have two daughters, and another kiddo (I'm hoping for a turtle) due in May. My wife knew of Jessica before we got engaged. I don't know why, but I still felt like she was going to regret having a crossdresser for a husband, so I never really allowed her to get close to Jessica the first few years. She is very accepting, and loves me for me. Me includes my feminine side. Over time, I've come to learn that she and I are one...together forever. She loves me for who I am, and I love her for the same. It sounds like you and your husband have a very similar relationship. although she knew about my crossdressing, I never spoke of it because I thought a wife would never accept that. I've learned over time that she will, as it sounds like you will. You both have a lot to learn, but yes...this includes your husband being honest with you. One of the things my wife finally did was ask to see all my girl clothes...everything. Well, there was a lot! She was kind of shocked at how much I had been able to hide from her, but she started going through stuff and creating outfits, or telling me this didn't work for my type. The next week, we were shopping and she picked out an outift just for me. It was tough for her to do this, sure. But...more importantly, it showed me that she was willing to learn, and be with me as we did so together, with our family.

Now, we share a lot of jokes and happy moments as a part of my feminine side. My 5yo daughter only wants to paint toenails with me...and we do that together! My wife and Jessica have a movie night together quite often. I've learned how to look and put together some great outfits, and I'm the only husband I know of in our circle of friends that got his wife a top, bottoms, shoes, etc from head to toe for Christmas. Just because I though it would be good for her. There are benefits. Even out to dinner as husband and wife, when the waiter comes asking about dessert, we both get a great laugh when I tell him I can't, I have to maintain my girlish figure. It's nice to have that extra connection as a result of me being a crossdresser. It has taken a lot of time, and our share of dissapointments, but in the long run, has turned into a much better relationship and marriage than we ever dreamed. We're both happier with each other now.

I don't know if this helps or not. You may have to follow up with your husband to get him to open up some more. You have obviously started taking steps to know more just by posting here. I applaude you for that! Keep it up. Please, keep us posted here and let us know if there's anything we can do for you. A lot of us have similar experiences, and probably most have better advice than me! Keep it up, because when you come out victorious on the other side...it's so much better! Good luck to you both.

[trina]

First of all, I have to say thank you to Brandy and Jessica (and all others that read my post, as well). Your words really helped, so thank you! Since this post my husband and I have talked even more. Very openly, I might add. He's spoken more words in the last few days than I've heard all month!(he is very shy and its tough for him to speak his true feelings) I definately think the newfound voice has come from my new acceptance of his true self. I started to pick at what EXACTLY bothered me about his crossdressing.
Number 1: the lies and hiding
Number 2: the fear that he wanted to be a woman
Number 3: the idea that my son and I were just a "cover" from his real life

I am happy to say that all of these issues have been adequately addressed and I no longer feel stressed about them. Yay!
I also noticed that no where on my list was the fact that he dressed up in women's clothing (lingere seems to be his thing). I thought that was wierd so I dug deeper and realized that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it! I decided to bring this up with him and he seemed to not really believe me at first. I kept saying that there was nothing gross about it or to be ashamed of. He doesn't hurt anyone--except himself afterwords because he feels guilty and disgusted.
After that night, I seen a whole other side of him. He was almost flying! He was so happy, like a weight had been lifted! In fact, he told me that in a poem he wrote for me last night. (he is AMAZINGLY talented in that area) He finally understands that it is okay. Of course, knowing that I am okay with it probably helps too. He is still very uneasy about doing it again. THough he now realizes that he might. THat he doesn't have much control over it. He says that he will talk to me before he does it if he feels the urge (he doesn't want to do it anymore.) I told him that, that was fine, however it would be totally okay if he told me after, just as long as he told me (I'm not sure why I feel the need to know, I just do--any ideas?) I also suggested that if he felt the need and i was around (he said he NEVER wanted to do it around me) he could just say he wanted some alone time and slip into our bedroom and I would get the hint.

I just hope this arrangement works out for us. It really does seem to be going along well, so far. We feel closer than ever without the HUGE barrier between us.
A large part of this new acceptance inside of ME has come from all of YOU. The more I read, the more I understand. THe more I appreciate. THe more I accept.
So, Thank you, Ladies!

[Haley Heather]

my SO is more than accepting and me coming out to here and letting her be a part has actually brought us closer together on so many levels, in fact, I'd be lost in all this with out her.

[RenneB]

Renne has been in my life since I was 5 and she got back into comfy clothes 15 years after being married. The SO has never known my true calling and that's just fine with me. We have two biological replacements that are still growing up and I don't want to change their outlook just yet... I'm sure time will come, but I'm also a professional procrastenator.

[Paula G]

My wife has known for the past several years and is accepting.

[Amanda22]

My wonderful and beautiful wife learned about my crossdressing in August of 2010 when I had a calm heart-to-heart discussion with her. She very quickly educated herself on what it really means by reading lots of accurate material. She not only accepted, but has become very, very encouraging! She often buys me a necklace or article of clothing she thinks I'll like, and for my birthday she bought me a beautiful blouse that I adore. We go out for entertainment every week as girlfriends and have a wonderful time. This has added another dimension to our relationship and let me tell you, it is unbelievable!! I have come to understand each other so much more deeply. We have the relationship I've always wanted.

[Haley Heather]

My wonderful and beautiful wife learned about my crossdressing in August of 2010 when I had a calm heart-to-heart discussion with her. She very quickly educated herself on what it really means by reading lots of accurate material. She not only accepted, but has become very, very encouraging! She often buys me a necklace or article of clothing she thinks I'll like, and for my birthday she bought me a beautiful blouse that I adore. We go out for entertainment every week as girlfriends and have a wonderful time. This has added another dimension to our relationship and let me tell you, it is unbelievable!! I have come to understand each other so much more deeply. We have the relationship I've always wanted.

my girlfriend buys me stuff all the time too, oh and we have the same size foot :D

[Jaydee]

I guess my situation is a 2.5. I had been deeply closeted all my life. I finally told her about 18 months ago, after 34 years of marriage. I finally got the courage after all the support I got from my sisters on this website, otherwise I could never have come out. She was surprised. She knows about the underdressing, and I told her there were "other clothes", but she has never asked about the extent of my CDing. After many discussions, she tolerates more than accepts. She seems most concerned that one day I will decide I want to transition, which doesn't feel like a possiblity to me. I just long for the day when she is comfortable enough about it to buy me something femme.

Jaydee

[Angie G]

My wife and I have been married 42 years she has only known foe the past 5 years and is very Accepting of my dressing. I let her have her husband on the weekends. And that keeps the pink fog down.:hugs:
Angie

[Jessica_Dillon]

Trina,
You are such a wonderful person for taking time to learn about your husband, and talk to him, and let him know how you feel. You are both such a lucky couple! Your lives will be filled with years of happiness! Keep it up!

[Jenniferathome]

Well, today was a red letter day, I told my wife. Now I can answer the questions.
1) She accepts. Really quite astounding for me right now. She's totally positive, love me, says not to worry, and is happy to let me have Jennifer time (away from her for now). God I am lucky.

[Jenniferpl]

My wife is #1. she purchased makeup for me and some clothes.

[Monique_Lynn]

My S/O of 13 yrs is accepting and supportive, told her in the first week of dating about crossdressing.

[Keely]

My wife knows but is not quite accepting.

I think she is starting to thaw a bit though.
She was looking for one of her toe rings last week to give to me.:)

[Tina B.]

I came clean five years into the marriage, when I realized this was for life. I'm no good at intrigue, and I'm a bad lier, so I told her all about myself, that was almost 35 years ago. She accepts me for who I am. But then I love to play house wife, so it has it's advantages for her. I cook, do the laundry, and clean and vacuum, while she is at work, so that when she gets home, we each have the free time to do the things we like to do. I all so do a lot of the food shopping, and running around paying the bills. I have been told my many shop keepers that I have great taste in the clothes I purchase for her for gifts, I have no fear of shopping in the womens dept, even in drab (boy mode, Trina) I love fresh flowers, so we both buy flowers for each other. But when she does want her husband here, I can be all guy, well mostly all guy, oh, who am I kidding, I can be a little guy like, for a little while.
Tina B.

[NicoleScott]

Knows, accepts, even supports and encourages, but does not participate. She is concerned about others finding out. Pretty much Don't Ask Don't Tell.

[BRANDYJ]

Well, today was a red letter day, I told my wife. Now I can answer the questions.
1) She accepts. Really quite astounding for me right now. She's totally positive, love me, says not to worry, and is happy to let me have Jennifer time (away from her for now). God I am lucky.

Jennifer, I read your word for word "talk" with your wife. I already commented on your beautiful post. I am so happy for you!
I wonder how you would have responded say a month ago. My guess is that you were already planning that talk.

[Kiera79]

Been with my sweety 11 years as of Feb. 26th and she knows, embraces, and goes out with me sometimes when I dress.

[Rachel05]

I am a knows but does not accept, will not talk about it but doesn't seem to want to stop me either, she found out we discussed it and then nothing more since, but she knows where all my things are kept and no naughtiness with any of them, no throwing them out or anything, just happy to ignore I think

[Debutante]

Married 5 yrs; she fully accepts it... even encourages it...

[5150 Girl]

Well,, As I said earlier in this thread, when I met my Polar Bear, I was dresses as Sarah Palin for Holoween, and I gave full disclosure from the start.
But, what I wish to add at this point is, as I think about it, I think we have an obligation to tell right up front. As ohters posters have said, it saves a lot of stress and hassle down the road. I remeber with my first wife when she found my stash (and not matter how well it's hidden, she will eventualy find it) I was accused of having an affair. Needless to say, that was an ugly scene.
I really don't mean this to sound cold, but it's just a reality I must face, that I will likely find myslef single again, (PB has a bad heart) when I'm ready go looking again, I will be in a dress when I first meet my next SO.

[AKAMichelle]

I think she is currently at #1, but she still struggles with many issues.

[LeeAnnRose]

It almost seems like choices are missing. My wife would fall under 1. as knowing. She understands and is working with me on my cross dressing. Even after 9 years, I don't know fully where our relationship will go, shoot I've known her for almost 20 years now! But we are still trying and working on it.

[midnightMelissa]

I have to go with number 1 here. She actually started it with a dare so ... but I can't say I wasn't at least interested. We get along a lot better this way since I started dressing with her.

[Dianna_Mac]

My love has, within the last couple of years become very supportive. It was not always that way though. She did not initially find out until after we were 7 years in to our 30+ year marriage. We struggled with what a lot of folks did (or will do). Because how she found out she thought I was cheating on her but after the disbelief of the explanation we went through many many years of the same questions laid out in previous responses. Was I gay and just using my wife to keep up a facade for my employer; was I going to just up and leave her; I stopped smoking cold turkey I should be able to just stop doing this if I loved her; etc. My wife’s anger is well founded. My greatest mistake, taking away her choice to decide if she was able to deal with this "prior" to the marriage and not after 7 years and 2 children. Sure she could have divorced me but she didn’t for a whole host of reasons but it has also taken us working with a therapist over the last few years to come to truly understand, accept, and help each other with what has become our common ground in this area. After 30+ years my wife has a clinical understanding of why I am the way I am, and the only area of tension we had between us 'is' fading away. Hugs, Di

[Sometimes Steffi]

1a knows and tolerates, but does not accept.

Discovered 5 years after marriage, but apparently sublimated this discovery.

Rediscovered 4 years ago after 29 years of marriage.

[karynspanties]

We have been married for 29 years. I started wearing her lingerie during sex. She really got into it. She would dress me in her clothes, do my make-up and hair. But as the kids got older, those times diminished. She has known our entire marriage, buys me stuff quite regularly, but has not seen Karyn in about 25 years. I really never thought to ask if she would like to see her now. Now that the kids are all grown and out of the house, she does see me walk around in panties and a full slip most days. So I guess you couls say she is supportive.

[chrissie]

Definitely 2!

If she finds more items or catches me wearing items then I will probably be moving out and single again...

Has found some items, caught me in an OBG and stockings but porbably no idea of the extent or range of my lingerie/stockings collection...

So perhaps partly a 3

[CindyTXCD]

It's Don't Ask-Don't Tell at my house, too. I was married in 1967, and I didn't even understand my desire to dress. I thought being married would make my desire to dress go away. It didn't. She found out by accident a few years later. She made it clear she was not happy about it. We haven't discussed it since. I only dress when she's away or I'm away from home. I shave my body, wear girl's short shorts and sometimes girls underwear, but we never discuss it.