Frédérique
03-01-2011, 05:20 AM
"Take a look at yourself... And walk to the edge...Take a deep breath... And be someone else..."
(from “New Holy Ground” by O.M.D.)
Reinventing ourselves - isn’t this what we’re doing, as MtF crossdressers? We take a good look at ourselves, think about things, take stock, and then set about trying something new and interesting in the hope of making our lives worth living again. I’m talking about a conscious decision to change one’s personal appearance, or doing so as the end result of an emotional upsurge that could be labeled “feminine,” for lack of a better word. Some individuals need to reinvent themselves for reasons of survival, and some may dress up and never consider reinvention as a relevant process, but, in my case, I think the shoe (a Mary-Jane) fits...
At first, you just want to get away from your male clothing, so you try something on that is more feminine – more delicate and colorful, much thinner by comparison, and a tactile feast for the senses. Once you’re past this initial step, you try, one by one, everything that may contribute to a total metamorphosis. You become a female in appearance, at least according to the template in your mind. You’re reinventing yourself, and certain feelings that have been dormant inside may rise to the surface and dominate your personality for better or worse. In our case, as typical MtF crossdressers, the transformation may be only fleeting, yet welcome, a “place” to escape to for reasons of mental health. After all, who wouldn’t embrace one’s true self if you had the chance to do so?
Reinvention is a worthy activity, rarely appreciated during one’s lifetime, but applauded later on by unimaginative individuals. I appear one way, as I always have, while I would rather appear another way, so I set out on a journey to reach this far shore. Somewhere along the way, I have to content myself with a partially completed canvas falling short of my lofty ambitions. A work of art never comes out as you had visualized, but the struggle to invent, or in this case reinvent, has brought you closer to a new awareness of yourself. You become different, as you wished to be, and the clothes you choose to wear reflect this change inside. This happened to me, I am pleased to say, but now, many years on, the urge to reinvent myself is taking hold once again. For instance, I think differently about the word “femininity” these days, preferring effeminacy (a distinction I wish to make), so my persona changes over time, along with my appearance, of course. In many ways I'm a work in progress, so I'll keep you posted...
At the risk of embracing contradiction, I can’t really say I’ve actually reinvented myself to any great degree, according to definition (or the parameters of others), but personal change, inspired by opportunity, has taken place to get more in touch with something that’s already there. I was never invented to begin with, but let’s not split hairs. I mean, I know who I am, so I alter my appearance in an effort to reveal something – in this case I’m stripping away layers of gender expectation (via physical appearance) by adding other layers that “say” something more meaningful and profound, at least to myself. What could be more natural, but who could (or would) understand this need to change and embrace oneself? Using reinvention in an expeditious, calculated manner to fit in more readily with the rest of society is one thing, but our form of reinvention is a conscious effort to NOT fit in. Personally, I like it, and it takes courage to be different...
So, what do YOU think about reinventing yourself? Is this a perfectly valid explanation for your crossdressing, or do you beg to differ? I feel that if you have a penchant for wholesale change, accompanied by non-attachment to group mentality (call it individuality), and a strong love of choice, you are a prime candidate for reinvention; whatever form that reinvention may take. Why not? It’s YOUR life, after all, and experimentation is desirous if not mandatory, considering how little time we may have...
:straightface:
(from “New Holy Ground” by O.M.D.)
Reinventing ourselves - isn’t this what we’re doing, as MtF crossdressers? We take a good look at ourselves, think about things, take stock, and then set about trying something new and interesting in the hope of making our lives worth living again. I’m talking about a conscious decision to change one’s personal appearance, or doing so as the end result of an emotional upsurge that could be labeled “feminine,” for lack of a better word. Some individuals need to reinvent themselves for reasons of survival, and some may dress up and never consider reinvention as a relevant process, but, in my case, I think the shoe (a Mary-Jane) fits...
At first, you just want to get away from your male clothing, so you try something on that is more feminine – more delicate and colorful, much thinner by comparison, and a tactile feast for the senses. Once you’re past this initial step, you try, one by one, everything that may contribute to a total metamorphosis. You become a female in appearance, at least according to the template in your mind. You’re reinventing yourself, and certain feelings that have been dormant inside may rise to the surface and dominate your personality for better or worse. In our case, as typical MtF crossdressers, the transformation may be only fleeting, yet welcome, a “place” to escape to for reasons of mental health. After all, who wouldn’t embrace one’s true self if you had the chance to do so?
Reinvention is a worthy activity, rarely appreciated during one’s lifetime, but applauded later on by unimaginative individuals. I appear one way, as I always have, while I would rather appear another way, so I set out on a journey to reach this far shore. Somewhere along the way, I have to content myself with a partially completed canvas falling short of my lofty ambitions. A work of art never comes out as you had visualized, but the struggle to invent, or in this case reinvent, has brought you closer to a new awareness of yourself. You become different, as you wished to be, and the clothes you choose to wear reflect this change inside. This happened to me, I am pleased to say, but now, many years on, the urge to reinvent myself is taking hold once again. For instance, I think differently about the word “femininity” these days, preferring effeminacy (a distinction I wish to make), so my persona changes over time, along with my appearance, of course. In many ways I'm a work in progress, so I'll keep you posted...
At the risk of embracing contradiction, I can’t really say I’ve actually reinvented myself to any great degree, according to definition (or the parameters of others), but personal change, inspired by opportunity, has taken place to get more in touch with something that’s already there. I was never invented to begin with, but let’s not split hairs. I mean, I know who I am, so I alter my appearance in an effort to reveal something – in this case I’m stripping away layers of gender expectation (via physical appearance) by adding other layers that “say” something more meaningful and profound, at least to myself. What could be more natural, but who could (or would) understand this need to change and embrace oneself? Using reinvention in an expeditious, calculated manner to fit in more readily with the rest of society is one thing, but our form of reinvention is a conscious effort to NOT fit in. Personally, I like it, and it takes courage to be different...
So, what do YOU think about reinventing yourself? Is this a perfectly valid explanation for your crossdressing, or do you beg to differ? I feel that if you have a penchant for wholesale change, accompanied by non-attachment to group mentality (call it individuality), and a strong love of choice, you are a prime candidate for reinvention; whatever form that reinvention may take. Why not? It’s YOUR life, after all, and experimentation is desirous if not mandatory, considering how little time we may have...
:straightface: