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Frédérique
03-01-2011, 05:20 AM
"Take a look at yourself... And walk to the edge...Take a deep breath... And be someone else..."
(from “New Holy Ground” by O.M.D.)

Reinventing ourselves - isn’t this what we’re doing, as MtF crossdressers? We take a good look at ourselves, think about things, take stock, and then set about trying something new and interesting in the hope of making our lives worth living again. I’m talking about a conscious decision to change one’s personal appearance, or doing so as the end result of an emotional upsurge that could be labeled “feminine,” for lack of a better word. Some individuals need to reinvent themselves for reasons of survival, and some may dress up and never consider reinvention as a relevant process, but, in my case, I think the shoe (a Mary-Jane) fits...

At first, you just want to get away from your male clothing, so you try something on that is more feminine – more delicate and colorful, much thinner by comparison, and a tactile feast for the senses. Once you’re past this initial step, you try, one by one, everything that may contribute to a total metamorphosis. You become a female in appearance, at least according to the template in your mind. You’re reinventing yourself, and certain feelings that have been dormant inside may rise to the surface and dominate your personality for better or worse. In our case, as typical MtF crossdressers, the transformation may be only fleeting, yet welcome, a “place” to escape to for reasons of mental health. After all, who wouldn’t embrace one’s true self if you had the chance to do so?

Reinvention is a worthy activity, rarely appreciated during one’s lifetime, but applauded later on by unimaginative individuals. I appear one way, as I always have, while I would rather appear another way, so I set out on a journey to reach this far shore. Somewhere along the way, I have to content myself with a partially completed canvas falling short of my lofty ambitions. A work of art never comes out as you had visualized, but the struggle to invent, or in this case reinvent, has brought you closer to a new awareness of yourself. You become different, as you wished to be, and the clothes you choose to wear reflect this change inside. This happened to me, I am pleased to say, but now, many years on, the urge to reinvent myself is taking hold once again. For instance, I think differently about the word “femininity” these days, preferring effeminacy (a distinction I wish to make), so my persona changes over time, along with my appearance, of course. In many ways I'm a work in progress, so I'll keep you posted...

At the risk of embracing contradiction, I can’t really say I’ve actually reinvented myself to any great degree, according to definition (or the parameters of others), but personal change, inspired by opportunity, has taken place to get more in touch with something that’s already there. I was never invented to begin with, but let’s not split hairs. I mean, I know who I am, so I alter my appearance in an effort to reveal something – in this case I’m stripping away layers of gender expectation (via physical appearance) by adding other layers that “say” something more meaningful and profound, at least to myself. What could be more natural, but who could (or would) understand this need to change and embrace oneself? Using reinvention in an expeditious, calculated manner to fit in more readily with the rest of society is one thing, but our form of reinvention is a conscious effort to NOT fit in. Personally, I like it, and it takes courage to be different...

So, what do YOU think about reinventing yourself? Is this a perfectly valid explanation for your crossdressing, or do you beg to differ? I feel that if you have a penchant for wholesale change, accompanied by non-attachment to group mentality (call it individuality), and a strong love of choice, you are a prime candidate for reinvention; whatever form that reinvention may take. Why not? It’s YOUR life, after all, and experimentation is desirous if not mandatory, considering how little time we may have...
:straightface:

Gerrijerry
03-01-2011, 05:58 AM
If a person could deside to be a crossdresser or anything else, different than what most others around them are. Why would they. To me it is looking to start problems. If you believe as most do that it is not something you just deside to do. Then you can defend it anyway you want. If in defining it you want to use the word "reinventing yourself" that is fine. However just remember call it what everyou like we all still have to make the best we can out of being who we are, Inside and out.

sissystephanie
03-01-2011, 06:39 AM
I don't think I have reinvented myself at all. All I have done with crossdressing is show off my feminine side! I am still the same person, no matter what clothing I have on, or what I look like.

And Gerri, since you alone decided to wear feminine things YOU did decide to be a crossdresser. That is unless someone else forced you to wear the clothing!!

Cynthia Anne
03-01-2011, 09:17 AM
I don't think I can agree with 'reinventing', because I feel I'm just being me! I don't choose to dress because I'm trying to reinvent, I do 'dress' because that's who I am! I hope this makes sense!

JustWendy
03-01-2011, 09:19 AM
At first, you just want to get away from your male clothing, so you try something on that is more feminine – more delicate and colorful, much thinner by comparison, and a tactile feast for the senses. Once you’re past this initial step, you try, one by one, everything that may contribute to a total metamorphosis. You become a female in appearance, at least according to the template in your mind. You’re reinventing yourself

Frédérique, I really connected with this paragraph. Perhaps some people will have a problem with the word reinvent because it implies a determined change from the person you have always been inside. I believe your intention is directed more to the image reflected in the mirror. I always knew I was a butterfly but the person in the mirror looked more like a caterpillar. Until, one by one, I took the steps - made the visual metamorphosis - that let me see the butterfly in the reflection.

Wendy

Sara Jessica
03-01-2011, 09:47 AM
"Take a look at yourself... And walk to the edge...Take a deep breath... And be someone else..."
(from “New Holy Ground” by O.M.D.)



You had me hooked with the OMD reference. New Holy Ground is my fav song from this album which is in my top-ten fav's from 2010.

But I digress...

I see your point, very thoughtful and introspective as usual. But what you refer to as reinvention I call integration. It may have to do with one's perspective, how they identify along the TG spectrum. But many of the byproducts of my own integration have had the same psychological effect that you describe with reinvention so I guess it's all the same difference.

monica.missil
03-01-2011, 10:01 AM
In my case I think the reinventing was done along time ago, when my family told me to do all and learn all the things a boy should do, when in reality I wanted to play with my sisters dolls, or play dress up. And as time when on what they tried to invent took hold, I married, raised a family, and now have grandsons who I love more than anything in life. So in a way, things have come full circle in that I am reinventing the outward appearance that expresses the female inside, because she can never really come out, because too many would be hurt.

Pythos
03-01-2011, 11:25 AM
I do not so much think of it as reinventing myself. This style is just a part of me. It has been repressed by bigotry, and ignorance, and to an extent jealousy.

I will be honest here. When I am skirted or in leggings in Male, or androgynous mode, I have had several male friends say to me "If I had the build you do, I think I would adapt that look". Others have plain asked me what it is like to wear the things I do and I usually say "find out for yourself" in a nice way, and they usually say that they just don't have the build.

It takes guts to do what we do. I have gotten used to getting into my leggings on a daily basis, and am quite happy about it, but every now and then I get a tinge of worry. Going out skirted still is an exercise in will power. My club outing last week was definitely liberating but at first stressful, that is until the GG saw me and happily exclaimed "HI MANA!!!" in recognition how well I did the make up.

gwenbeth
03-01-2011, 12:32 PM
Personally I feel more like it is a process of discovery rather than re-invention. So much has been hidden and repressed that I am having to figure out what is already there. The physical changes to my outside are to me more of a correction than an invention.

Kathi Lake
03-01-2011, 02:50 PM
Sara beat me to it (curse you, morning people!! :)), but that's pretty much what I was thinking. I haven't really reinvented myself per se, but instead integrated, by allowing what was already inside to come out and flourish. My inner femininity was always there, but tamped down into a little, safe, (yet stifling) place. Lately (for me at least, as Kathi has only fully come out for about two of my 48 years), I have found that I have integrated parts of what would be considered feminine into my daily 'look' - things like laser hair removal on my face, epilation of hands, legs, chest, etc., and bleaching of the rest, eyebrows plucked to nowhere near masculine shape or dimensions, and more. Also, as I have had the opportunity to see myself in pictures and videos, I find that integration has crept into even my bearing and mannerisms. Reinvention? No, I would call it something much closer to release.

:)

Kathi