Speaking engagements

[Teri Jean]

A while ago I posted a thread about my experiences in speaking with classes here at our university. I will be doing another this next month on the 4th of April. In talking with a number of people, I have been told that there is a need for this kind of speaking as there is few that do this.

Although I do find that speaking to a group is easier than one on one at times I would never have considered this two years ago. A girl friend of mine has offered to do some head shots for business cards and another friend of mine is going to help out with the cards themselves. Hopefully I will have this venture in place and starting to take engagements by the end of this summer.

If you have any advice it would be appreciated. Teri Jean

[gretchen2]

I do not have any advice, it appears that you are doing just fine. Keep up the good work and spread the good word about us.

[Katesback]

I have a question for you. Are you getting paid to do this? I did the cultural competency trainings often when I worked for the state. I was getting paid quite well but I knew something was eating away at me. A part of me hated what I was doing.

Yes of course if you are competent and professional you are educating people, but............. you are paying a HUGE price for doing that.

I have another question. Do you see genetically born women doing this training? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you really are a woman then why would you stand in front of people and be a trans woman? WHY? I suppose if you like being a trans woman then more power to ya. I just know that it just is not really natural for a woman to stand up and tell a group of people that they are different and forever in the eyes of those people she is no longer a NORMAL woman.

Just hope you are getting paid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zenith]

It's a passing the torch thing. During transition I spoke and shared often, to professionals/physicians/students at the medical center. I hoped by sharing my experiences and feelings being transgendered it would put a face/person on what can be a misunderstood subject. And by the responses, I know that I reached people.

But now as I am ending my transition enthusiasm for publicity is waning. I am quite content to pass the torch to others. And I can't imagine that if I did move to where no one knew me as male, that I would ever want to speak about being transgendered.

It's important that we do it, and I applaud those with the courage. But I think it is best to move on at some point...

Dear God I can't believe I am agreeing with Kate... :straightface:

[docrobbysherry]

I think someone should nominate U to be put on the Presidential list of national service award winners, Teri!
If nothing else, U deserve an award for bravery!

And, I'm NOT joking about this!

[noeleena]

Hi.

Sounds like a good thing your doing I hope you enjoy it because to me its one neat way of meeting lots of people & allowing them to see in person who in this case you are. go for it.

I may not quite have your ? quite right . is it to do with what your talking about or how your doing it .

For me we dont have schools that are interested in people coming in & talking .

I have done a number of interviews for our two main T V stations nation wide, & papers & been invited to speak to two groups of people of 130 Plus many others .
I really did have a ball doing it . for me being in front of 1000s of people is sooooo neat.


My topic was, what its like being , A Transfemale , who lives as a woman.

I know many people struggle with standing in front of others & talking . not a problem for this kid ,

Any way if its aproprete do ask ,tho i think your doing well enough in what your doing.

all the best ,

.................................................. ........

Kate ,

i stand in front of 1000s of people , because many know me, my back ground is world wide for any one to see. i have not paid a high price let alone any price for who i am as far as it goes in being in front of people . fact is it has opened many doors for me i have more friends because of what i did than i have at any time of my 63 years of my life. & this has only happened over the last 5 years.

I do have a ? for you as youv said / asked if you really are a woman, why would you stand in front of people & be a trans woman. & tell a group of people they are different & for ever in thier eyes is no longer a normal woman.

Okay let me get this right .

I am not a normal woman nore can be, ever.im allso not a male or a woman in context of being one or the other fully in any way shape or form.

YET i stand in front of many 1000s of people & show my self as i am. im accepted for who i am not what im not i am not trying to be a woman because i am one . im not trying to be a male because i am one my detail is im a mix of both & as iv found out im accepted as a person first & as a woman who has a male background.

Because each of us are different why is this .....?...... put out as one is not a woman if he / she is trans. & makes it known..
This would be an affront to my womanhood i am a woman no matter what i do & this is from BIRTH...not a tack on at some time later in my life .

The other detail is iv been seen by over 3 millon people in this county by T V. & my many 100 s of friends accept me as a true woman . they dont say your not a woman because you dont have a..... WOMB. .....

Its not just a body issue its your mind as well.its your make up & really its who you ARE.

& since when is it not natural for a woman not to tell others her back ground what ever that may be. that would mean im not a normal woman.

Well on that point youd be right im not normal well at least i know that , & so do my friends & any one else for that matter.

Makes for some interesting thinking & talking about. so is it any wonder i love talking to people & may be they find me interesting enough to wont to know me , who i am , & every thing else about me. & that means no ....?s.... barred .

.............& im happy being different..............

...noeleena...

[Katesback]

Because if I recall you are now post op. What a difference it makes! You can actually see the big picture. By the way after SRS transition begins sis not ends.







It's a passing the torch thing. During transition I spoke and shared often, to professionals/physicians/students at the medical center. I hoped by sharing my experiences and feelings being transgendered it would put a face/person on what can be a misunderstood subject. And by the responses, I know that I reached people.

But now as I am ending my transition enthusiasm for publicity is waning. I am quite content to pass the torch to others. And I can't imagine that if I did move to where no one knew me as male, that I would ever want to speak about being transgendered.

It's important that we do it, and I applaud those with the courage. But I think it is best to move on at some point...

Dear God I can't believe I am agreeing with Kate... :straightface:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I still do the speeches...i live in a large area and i guess it's a risk that I'm hiding in plain sight...

i won't do a speech within my general area but i'll travel 20 or 30 or 40 miles to do it..

although i'd love to have a totally completely new life and be female from square one, it's just not possible, and my kids and family are close so i'm happy where i am...

Teri,
yes get a business card, and call around your area to see if there are speaking agents...the thing i'd wonder about is that once you are out of the box in that way, you can't really go back...once you promote yourself in any away, you are in a different boat than going out on outreach..

and although you might get paid, unless you have multiple speeches and programs set up to meet lots of needs , the money isnt really alot...but if you like it, you can step up get known around larger areas and perhaps get enough gigs to really make a difference and fatten your wallet a little..


i've done my speeches, but i didn't advertise, and i just go an email that there is one coming up and i agreed to do it.. i think as long as i can, i'll help people get comfortable with people like me

[Melody Moore]

I have similar engagements coming up this year with QAHC and PFLAG.

While I might not do this sort of thing forever right now I feel that it is my time to step up
to the plate and give back to the community that has been there for me. And I know some
of you don't want to get into the depths of this like Teri and I do & Kate has done in the past,
but I just ask you all to remember that we are all ambassadors for the global transgender
community and that there is nothing wrong with doing your bit to affect changes in your local
community - even if it is just with your closest friends. Never be ashamed about who you are
& what you have had to overcome in life. I find that most people find trans people very honest
and courageous. I have had nothing but the utmost respect from those people I have talked to.
So Teri, I am standing right behind you... so you go girlfriend! :hugs:

[Katesback]

The other thing that I bothers me about those that choose to do these presentations is that a portion of them are not helping the trans people. They stand up there and tell all thier stories but DONT tell the audience the important aspects of trans people. They dont explain the difference between CD and TS and whats in between. They dont give out objective statistics, they throw in thier opinions instead of scientific information.
The point is that if you are going to do a cultural competency presentation you need to be professional and limit your trans stories and opinions. There are numerous presentations on the internet done by professsional educated people and one would do well to model thier presentation after these.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I diasagree Kate... i talk to people and they dont care about stats. we are way to far down the curve of life for that...many people still think we are crazy,,people think we are Rupaul..people think we are contagious and want to keep their children away from us..
this is a terrible box we are in..

you tell the story, and when people are drawn in, then you tell them that we are still murdered for being ourselves, that we are blatantly disrespected by many, that we risk losing jobs..etcetcetc..
and you leave them wondering whether what they've thought about us is wrong...

so if you can get up in front of people, and you can show your own common sense, and show them that you are JUST LIKE THEM, A HUMAN BEING...then you are helping to break the ice, and that's a very valuable thing

[Melody Moore]

They stand up there and tell all thier stories but DONT tell the audience the important aspects of trans people. They dont explain the difference between CD and TS and whats in between. They dont give out objective statistics, they throw in thier opinions instead of scientific information.
The point is that if you are going to do a cultural competency presentation you need to be professional and limit your trans stories and opinions. There are numerous presentations on the internet done by professsional educated people and one would do well to model thier presentation after these.

Kate, I agree with what you said and do talk about everything that you have suggested here. However I also support Kaitlyn here and believe that the personal testimony draws people in and gets them more personally involved in what you are presenting but don't hammer on too long about yourself or people get bored easily with that. I move onto transgender historical & cultural and then move onto explain the diversity in gender identities. After this it is then into the scientific stuff like the biological and genetic mechanisms that define gender identity & sexual orientation. But don't get too wrapped up in stats or people get bored with that as well. Then I like to talk about how certain gender variants deal with gender identity issues and what options there is available to those that are having problems by seeking out psychological and getting proper medical help & treatments to help a person transition if this is the path that they take.

The final stages of my presentation is talking about how we are then affected by social stigma, discrimination & vilification, violence & abuse etc and what can be done to help those affected by it and the things we can do to affect a positive change in our local communities.

I believe using this type of a format leaves your audience thinking about what they can do to help our community after being touched on a personal level by our own personal stories and after learning to understand & accept much better why we are who we are and why we are this way and understanding what we have to go through in order to survive in this world.

[Jorja]

It's important that we do it, and I applaud those with the courage. But I think it is best to move on at some point...

As the most of you are newly post op or headed toward SRS soon, I think you will find that the urge to speak publicly does wane with time and you will want to go stealth at least for a few years. There is nothing wrong with that. A girl needs some time to be herself and get on with life. Eventually, many have a burning desire to get back out there and tell as much as they can. At least that is what happened with me and others I know.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Yes Jorja and Julie...very true

when you transition, you realize things you didn't know before...post op and what i call longtime/fulltime people that chose not to have surgery find out almost universally that once all the dysphoria and unfullfilled needs go away, there is nothing there..(not a bad thing btw...)

women don't wake up with the joyful euphoria of womanhood every day...if that's what you think will happen you are sorely mistaken
in fact, for some of us, all that suffering ends up defining us prior to transition..then post transition, its almost like you can't remember all that suffering and shame...almost like whats the big deal? and then you look at your life and it's like what do i do now???? you just gave all of your emotional and physical energy to one monumental endeavor..you are tired and spent...and u may have lost alot too

so as we move on, some find that sharing the story, educating people and trying to help other ts people brings a wonderful meaning in life...
for me i continue to enjoy telling the story and i like to experience the support of people...
however, i feel myself finding meaning in other things and the more I ERASE my past , the more i feel almost like i'm just any other cisgendered person, its a hard feeling to describe.
....as i move towards trying to have a career and having personal relationships with new people that only know me as Kate, i find less meaning in telling that whole story..

[Jorja]

Yes Jorja and Julie...very true

when you transition, you realize things you didn't know before...post op and what i call longtime/fulltime people that chose not to have surgery find out almost universally that once all the dysphoria and unfullfilled needs go away, there is nothing there..(not a bad thing btw...)

women don't wake up with the joyful euphoria of womanhood every day...if that's what you think will happen you are sorely mistaken
in fact, for some of us, all that suffering ends up defining us prior to transition..then post transition, its almost like you can't remember all that suffering and shame...almost like whats the big deal? and then you look at your life and it's like what do i do now???? you just gave all of your emotional and physical energy to one monumental endeavor..you are tired and spent...and u may have lost alot too

so as we move on, some find that sharing the story, educating people and trying to help other ts people brings a wonderful meaning in life...
for me i continue to enjoy telling the story and i like to experience the support of people...
however, i feel myself finding meaning in other things and the more I ERASE my past , the more i feel almost like i'm just any other cisgendered person, its a hard feeling to describe.
....as i move towards trying to have a career and having personal relationships with new people that only know me as Kate, i find less meaning in telling that whole story..

and before long..... you will not tell that story at all unless you have to. I lived for 15 years without ever even thinking of that part of my past. After my husband died and I had a couple of years to deal with that, I found myself back at that familar place of what do I do now? I could have buried myself in my work but all work and no play makes one a very dull person. So I ventured back into the community and started helping those who wanted help. I started telling my story again. I found it as helpful to myself as it was for others.

[Teri Jean]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I open a can of worms??? Okay here is the thing, in my State of Minnesota, we have an organization called MN Campus Alliance that sends presenters out to help the general public with issues that run throughtout the LGBT community. They have sent a couple presenters to our campus over the past couple years and they were informative. They use their own transition along with a prepared list of general topics that round out the presentation.

Now Kate has a point in why one would someone do this, whether paid or not, but if there is no one doing such things we will never be heard, understood, or accepted by other than the few we are close to. There is something to say "I want to blend into the fabric of society" and some do very well. I for one have made my full adult life of over 40 yrs being in the forefront and leadership roles of many groups so this is something I feel I can do and bring something more to the table. If the gay community just blended in they would be persecuted like the 50s and 60s, but they didn't and today they are more accepted than the transgendered community.

One last thing is we all have the freedom to speak our mind and have our own opinion, no matter location worldwide, so I say talk it up ladies and gentlemen and if one cannot get their heads around this or any other topic please be respectful of those others here. On that note I would close this thread and ask the mods to facillitate this with respect to all. Thank you ladies and gentlemen. With hugs and friendship, Teri Jean.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Teri, for what it is worth, as a TV I think you are doing a great thing. I was fortunate to speak in front of a class once about transvestism (and a few others who talked about transsexualism.) We have such an awful image in the mainstream media anything one can do to help counteract that is a great thing as far as I am concerned.

[ReneeT]

I am squarely with Teri Jean on this. I am personally grateful to all before me who have told their story. Yes, many have sufferred, some terribly, along the way. But so did many cis-women, African Americans, and homosexuals on their journey to societal acceptance and integration. I think we all would agree that the struggle was worth it for them. While many in all walks of life choose to lead quiet lives out of the spotlight, it is those out front, behind the bullhorn or mic that are most effective in driving change. Much has changed for the better, but much more is left to do. I do find it just a bit crass to suggest that this type of service should be an entrepreneurial endeavor.

Teri Jean, YOU GO GIRL!

[Melody Moore]

I do find it just a bit crass to suggest that this type of service should be an entrepreneurial endeavor.
I agree Renee, I don't believe that financial reward should be your only reason or motivation to do any thing in life.

There are lot's of really good people in the world who do volunteer work because they enjoy helping others while
giving them a social life. I just feel like it's my duty to give back to the transgendered community that has always
been there for me & because I know that I am doing something to improve life for others as well as myself. I would
feel guilty if I was to try & profit from something that was given to me freely. Right now I am volunteering my time
freely to an organisation that is funded by our state government. From time to time positions come up with this
organisation to work with transgendered people and the pay is really good. And who knows? I might just be
recognised for my personal contributions, dedication & commitment as a volunteer, that it might put me in a much
better position to secure a job within this organisation when a position becomes available. I know that if I was an
employer I would rather employ someone who shows these types of qualities & draws something more out of their
job than just a fat healthy salary. I think people with this monetary type attitude to everything are selfish & greedy.

[Teri Jean]

Today I was out with a couple friends and this thread came up in the discussion and there was a division of opinions just as we have here but we came to the conclusion that what one feels important to do, another may not. As far as charging for ones time is a touchy subject and I am not going to speculate but would say if a program wanted me to drive a couple hours to speak at a function or class I would think the offer of mileage would not be turned down.

Renee and Melody, thank you for your support and your efforts. Teri

[Melody Moore]

I am not going to speculate but would say if a program wanted me to drive a couple hours to speak at a function or class I would think the offer of mileage would not be turned down.
Nothing wrong with that Teri - Personally I wouldn't travel anywhere if they were not going to cover expenses
or make arrangements for travel, meals & accommodation etc., if it meant I had to go some distance away for
a period of time. I think with most things there is usually a limitation to the amount of generosity we are able
to give. My limits start with the fact that I am on a very limited income from being on a Disability Pension.

If you want to look at a case of exploitation, then I can't think of a better example than the one I seen yesterday.

A local speech pathologist is offering to do a group session of vocal feminisation for our local MtF Transsexual support
group. I found out yesterday that the cost is going to be about $170 per head for a 3 hour group session. There is at
least 12 girls who are going to do this session which amounts to a total of $2040. Now our local gender clinic is going
to be picking up the tab apparently. So this means this speech therapist will be paid $680 per hour by our local gender
clinic. I think this is highway robbery and it is not going to be effective for us. Because if you do the math you soon
realise that each of the 12 girls will only get 15 minutes each of this therapist's time during that 3 hour group session.
I am going to be talking to my gender clinic next week to voice my objections about this latest proposal.

[Teri Jean]

I thought I should bring you up to speed on the April 4th speaking engagement. Yseyertday and the end of the day while many were off to home and their evening activities I was settling into a chair in front of 30 students for an hour and half of discussion and fun. This group of students represented gays, bi-sexuals, lesbians, and one transman. We had such a good time the instructor had to call time out and close down the discussion as we could have gone for another half hour. The nice thing is the number of students who stayed to ask more questions and get key bullet points, web sites, book titles and of course my e-mail and phone number here at work so they could do follow up discussions.

I know many would not or could not do this and maybe down the road I will not either but when there is this kind of interest I feel it is my duty to perpetuate what others did for me. Thank you all for your thoughts and support.

[Alicia Ryanne]

If you want to look at a case of exploitation, then I can't think of a better example than the one I seen yesterday.

A local speech pathologist is offering to do a group session of vocal feminisation for our local MtF Transsexual support
group. I found out yesterday that the cost is going to be about $170 per head for a 3 hour group session. There is at
least 12 girls who are going to do this session which amounts to a total of $2040. Now our local gender clinic is going
to be picking up the tab apparently. So this means this speech therapist will be paid $680 per hour by our local gender
clinic. I think this is highway robbery and it is not going to be effective for us. Because if you do the math you soon
realise that each of the 12 girls will only get 15 minutes each of this therapist's time during that 3 hour group session.
I am going to be talking to my gender clinic next week to voice my objections about this latest proposal.

I can understand your view that it seems excessive. But...to the girls that go...even if they get a few minutes one on one, it may be "life saving" for them and there arent many specialists that evn do that sort of thing. I would imagine its a group setting where a lot of "this is how its done" type presentations are offered and then some trials by the girls attending. I do agree with you that 170 per head is rather high, but for some, it might be the first steps for them(no way for me to know..just guessing).

Now..if you thought that was high at 170 per person, there's an ONLINE clinic speech therapist doing a class that is going on right now that costs each person $720. Its for a 40 hour class. I dont know how much is supposed to be one on one, but rather hard to get actual one on one feedback online. Apparently, you are supposed to tape yourself talking and doing some exercises, send it in, and then wait for a critique and what you should then do. There are also online meeting times and I guess your supposed to listen in and also use Skype.
I think the total number of ppl in the group is 25...so 25 x 720 = $18000. Even if each person got 5 hours of one on one time, thats 125 hours, plus the 35 hours of online class/chat time...so 160 hours is what the therapist is investing for $18000. Thats equals $112 per hour that therapist is getting paid. Maybe its worth it to some. Hell....I might have done it had I had 720 lying around I didnt need for other stuff. On my own, I am getting better and have a somewhat passable voice, but havent gotten the volume portion down yet.