Crossdressing vs. male sexuality

[NathalieX66]

Ohh, loaded topic, I know.

I can understand the element of male sexuality being the motivator for crossdressing but how many feel a connection with female-ness without the male sexuality end of it?

[Eryn]

Hmmm, tough and deep question.

Years ago, there was a definite male sexuality aspect to it with me, but these days I see it more as a release for other aspects of personality that I used to supress. I suppose that these could be termed "female-ness."

[Natalie Wood]

Hmm, intriguing question.

I would say that I have always been a sensitive and compassionate man. But from the day that I came out to my wife I have been flooded with feminine traits. I think by being able to be myself around my wife now (and I don't necessarily mean dressed up), I feel like I treat her better, I understand her needs better, and I am way more understanding and patient these days. I personally think that I am a much better husband and father to my two little girls because of my cd and the fact that I am out to my wife.

So "yes" I think that I have connected with my feminine side much more due to my cd even when I am not dressed which is 95% of the time.

I think this is not exactly what you were asking but I thought it was related and may be of some interest.

[Cynthia Anne]

With me male sexuality has nothing to do with cross dressing or female-ness! That's just me!

[AnnaCalliope]

I know I do.

But my answer may be considered invalid, for I am more a transsexual than a crossdresser.

[JOJO44]

Ohh, loaded topic, I know.

I can understand the element of male sexuality being the motivator for crossdressing but how many feel a connection with female-ness without the male sexuality end of it?

I think I can say yes wholeheartedly.
My dressing brings out a softer side of me that had always been hidden behind that tough loner side that people were allowed to see.

[Pythos]

Yea, I second Cynthia statement. It is just me. What has been repressed in me, but it is just me. Neither male nor female.

[Linda Stockings]

Tough but fascinating topic there Nathalie,

When I was younger - in my teens and 20's, there was definitely a sexual arrousal aspect to my dressing. That faded, yet my desire to dress increased and has continued to do so. I've only been with women sexually and prefer it that way. So my desire to dress increases and any arrousal from it decreases. Since I don't know what a woman feels when she's arroused I can't even begin to factor that one into the equation. (Yet I'd love to know what a woman feels). Dressing seems to get very confusing when you try to figure it all out. Maybe it's best to just enjoy it, try to look as sensuous and female as possible, and continue adding as many of the great new high heels, skirts, and tops to my wardrobe! -Linda

[ReineD]

Since I don't know what a woman feels when she's arroused I can't even begin to factor that one into the equation. (Yet I'd love to know what a woman feels).

Speaking from the other side of the fence, I don't know what a man feels when he's aroused either, but I imagine it's not much different in either gender? Arousal is equally pleasurable for both and it is felt in the mind, deep within, and in external genitalia for both? Also, sensuality is not limited to women. There are some very sensual men out there. Just saying. :)

[Pattie O]

I find that it becomes less important the more fully dressed I am. When I'm fully dressed I am more into wanting to be the woman and would prefer the arousal to be feminine so it becomes more sensual and less sexual orientated.So the things I would then prefer to be doing are feminine pastimes that involve grooming and deportment and "feeling like a woman".It becomes more in the "aura" and less about the male sexuality.

[2SpeedTranny]

I would say that my male sexuality exists to seek out deep connection with female-ness. Driven, you might say. ;)

[Alisa]

May be I'm a late bloomer, may be just don't dress enough, may be I just don't give into the "connection with female-ness", may be I'm just a fetish CD... not sure why but male sexuality is still a part of dressing for me. Many have described how sexual arousal has diminished over time but the whole fem experience is still a big turn-on for me. I think that answers your question.

[GingerLeigh]

I started when I was five. There was no male sexual purpose for it. The teenage years brought on the sexual element and now as I age, that is waning and the real motivator for dressing is becoming more prevalent. I like my female side and secretly always have.

Ginger

[Mary Morgan]

I was crossdressing long before I was a sexual person, long before I could even question why. I crossdress because I must and while crossdressed I remain a person who enjoys all the other aspects of my life.

[KrystalA]

When I'm en femme I feel as feminine as it's possible for a man to feel feminine. I'm still attracted to woman when en femme, but not from a male sexual viewpoint. Seems like once I get beyond the bra and panty stage, the male feelings disappear and the feminine feelings take over. Yeah, very complex issue, Nathalie.

[Kate Simmons]

This is why many CDers cannot give up their male traits.:)

[BRANDYJ]

Good question. I'm sure many or most of us started dressing with a strong sexual component driving us. My introduction to experiencing sexual gratification was brought about with a white nylon full slip. That experience led me to occasional dressing from age 11. As I matured the sexual aspect of it became secondary to the great feeling of just being feminine and emulating those that I adored, loved, admired and desired to be more like. I think the sexual aspect is still there, but has taken a back seat to the overall experience of being softer, prettier, nicer, and a better person then my male side. Wow, this is hard to articulate.

[NathalieX66]

Thanks everyone!
Holy cow! I can't believe how many of you have similar stories.
When I was 8 I was fascinated with girls & womens' fashion, and I wanted to be it. By the time I was a teen, there was definitely some sexual motivation for cd'ing. It seemed exhilarating crossing that boundary back then.
Nowadays I enjoy having a feminine side, and it is an indelible part of me. At this point I find no sexual gratification, I just feel whole as a person, and that is a very different feeling.

[Simply_Vanessa]

I feel feminine without ever having to put on make up or clothing...I feel like the woman comes from the inside out, not a feeling you can just put on and take off.

[Frédérique]

I can understand the element of male sexuality being the motivator for crossdressing but how many feel a connection with female-ness without the male sexuality end of it?

There is no sexual aspect to my crossdressing, and being male doesn’t motivate me to crossdress for sexual reasons. Compartmentalization can be a beautiful thing! As far as female-ness goes, my only connection is via clothing, which happens to be the only choice for my effeminate personality. Since any other female connection is purely hypothetical at best (in my case), I remain incorporated and not in conflict…
:straightface:

[Rianna Humble]

My voe might not count because I have always been TS even when I thought I was only cross-dressing. Male sexuality has never figured into the equation for me. Mine because I didn't have any and others because I am not attracted to men.

[danielle.cd]

well to say that women dont get aroused by dressing up is i think an understatement, when u see them admire there selfs in the mirror and slide there hands all around there body at the same time what do u think they just did, aroused maybe for a few seconds but in a mans world that would have caused something to come up, i know for me i like looking at my female self and going damn you look good but after a few minutes its on with what ever i have to do like a women would , although there maybe a little bit of a sexual connection , for me its more of letting who i am out and being the person i am,

is a coin still a coin if it doesnt have two sides?

[stephiemont]

I've always thought of it as the sexual giving way to the sensual. As with some of the comments here, my cross dressing coincided with sexual awareness. But that became less important as with the passage of time. These days when I dress it's more of a case of returning to normality, almost a sigh of relief to be dressed than anything driven from my sexuality. Good question, though difficult to explain.

Stephie M

[Christie ann]

Definitely a theme going on here. I started wanting to be a girl as early as 1st and 2nd grade. Not much sexuality there. As I grew older the sexual component increased, but to a teen aged boy almost everything has a sexual component. Now, I feel that the dressing is just the outside of my body aligning with what my inside already knows.

[Charise52]

I started dressing at age six... my mom bought me a denim skirt and matching vest... too early to have sexual feelings... yet the skirt felt wonderful... now I can say, I have made love in a cami and made love in a dress... yet I have been very much male... yet it brings out a softer side... which I feel really adds to the intimacy...

[docrobbysherry]

I have NO IDEA what being either of THOSE feels like!:brolleyes:


May be I'm a late bloomer, may be just don't dress enough, may be I just don't give into the "connection with female-ness", may be I'm just a fetish CD... not sure why but male sexuality is still a part of dressing for me. Many have described how sexual arousal has diminished over time but the whole fem experience is still a big turn-on for me. I think that answers your question.
YES!!!:D

[AlanaBCD]

This is an interesting question. I started dressing before I had what I can discern as sexual feelings. Now after some forty years of dressing there is still a certain sexual side of it for me. I just came up with something with my therapist that is interesting. I have an older male sibling. He was always pushed towards Dad and I was always pushed to Mom. I was always encouraged to do female things whereas my brother was always pushed to do male things. Is this related to dressing? I don't know.

It has happened where I am out at a mall or whatever and I see my reflection, before my brain realizes it is me, and I see a pretty girl. There is a moment of excitement (I would not call it sexual). A moment of attraction is the best way I can describe it.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm probably a freak (OK, I am a freak!) but I've had powerful sexual fantasies since I was at least 5yo. I've been CDing since about the same age. However, CDing didn't figure into any of my early sexual fantasies. My dressing had more to do with the fact that I identified with girls more than boys. My sexual fantasies were more of a femdom nature. I would dream about being kidnapped and held prisoner by the adult women I had crushes on. I'll spare you the details beyond that. I had no real sexual knowledge so I was just going off my instincts and it turned out that my instincts were all "wrong" as to who did what in sex. It wasn't until puberty that I recognized that my instinct was to take a feminine role sexually. Then my desire to be a girl became sexual, too. It didn't turn me on to crossdress, but I tended to crossdress when I got turned on. I also started to fantasize about having sex with males while dressed as a girl. The males were always faceless abstractions as I was not attracted to any males in real life. My confusion was: Am I gay? A pervert? A woman trapped in a mans body? Crazy? I wanted to have gay sex but not with men. I wanted to have lesbian sex but not with lesbians. I wanted to be a woman sexually but I didn't want to change any body parts. If that's confusing to you, you should try being me. Nothing really fit except that maybe I was crazy. Alcohol and barbiturates helped with that.

I was able to get by when I was younger but it became more difficult to fake as I got older. I tried to be a "normal" male but taking the male role in sex has always felt awkward and unnatural for me. The plumbing worked and the desire was there but not if I had to use it "correctly." I always saw myself in the submissive, receptive role. There was a period of about 17 years where I rarely crossdressed and I actively tried to man up and suppress my feminine inclinations. It didn't work very well and my marriage and the relationships that came after were disasters because of it. I still couldn't purge it from my mind. Thankfully, I'm not in a situation now where I have to be a "man" sexually anymore. Crossdressing occasionally finds it's way into our bedroom but it is neither necessary nor sufficient for arousal. It's just a fun variation. I don't think I've ever really experienced "male sexuality" unless my sexuality is just male sexuality turned inside-out, upside-down and backward. I've always approached sex and relationships more like the women I've been involved with. That's why those relationships usually didn't work out so well. They wanted a "man" in the bedroom and I resented having that expectation and wanted to be in their position. If someone had to take the masculine role I'd rather it be them.

[sissystephanie]

I am a male, so naturally I have male sexuality!! Crossdressing has nothing at all to do with that! I crossdress simply because I like to. But even if I am totally dressed enfemme, I am still a man underneath! So I would have to agree with Cynthia Anne!

[Phoebe P.]

There is definitely a sexual component to it for me. It's quite arousing for me to get en femme (don't want to go into details). I think it's a combination of a sexual component and relaxation and release. It really makes me happy along with painting my toenails, taking a bubble bath, and shaving. Just generally taking better care of myself. Hopefully I didn't ramble there!

[april_lynn]

For me it began early also maybe age 5 or 6. As I got older into my teens feeling sexy as a female in sexy lingerie definately became part of it. It still is part of it now in my 30s whenever I am wearing something that I feel sexy in. Other times though I just like letting my inner girl out and wear more normal everyday clothes to just feel more feminine and comfortable. Those times it is more calming.

Great topic though. Definately neat to see how some of us are very alike yet some are a little different.

April

[Barbara Dugan]

Interesting question as always Nathalie, I never had the desire to love a woman but my most inner desire is to be loved like a woman

[Billie Jean]

With me male sexuality has nothing to do with cross dressing or female-ness! That's just me!The older I get the more I know this is just me. When I'm dressed I feel feminine and when I'm not I feel very macho. Here lately I started to go out dressed and I love it but even then I'm only attracted to girls. Billie Jean