How do you help your coworkers feel more comfortable with your revised look?

[Jay Cee]

There was a group of people I worked with a few years ago on a construction site. While I wasn't close friends with any of them, most of us seemed to have a decent rapport.

Now I am working with a lot of them at another site, but things are a little different now. My appearance has changed somewhat - pierced ears, no hair on my arms, I shave my face every day, and I wear clear nail polish (well, strengthener, actually, but it looks like clear polish).

There is no doubt that some folks are a bit leary of the new me. I realize that it must be a bit of a shock, especially as I looked very much the stereotypical construction worker way back when.

Is there anything that I can do to put them at ease? While I scarcely feel I owe them an explanation of what is happening in my life, I can look at it from their side, too. It must be a bit odd to see one of your own appearing to want to "switch teams".

[Haley Heather]

I'm pretty sure over time it will fade from the front of there minds, I've always had a femme air about myself, even when being a total hardcore dude, to the point where sometimes women i've just met start chatting me up like i'm one of them( while duded out), I'm sure they don't realise there subconscious behavior but it always reminds me of what I am when it happens, but I think you'll get use to such things as well. Me, I'd simply go about my busness as usual.

[Roberta Marie]

I have run into a similar situation, of sorts. I retired from the fire service a few years ago, but we still live in the same small town where I worked. I often run into former coworkers who ask me about my shoulder length pony tail, my pierced ears, and my clean shaven upper lip, as well as my legs.

Basically, I tell them that this is the way that I like it, or I make some comment about, "growing my hair while I still have some to grow." Odd appearences or not, we realy don't owe these people any explanation. I have found that just being myself is enough to "put them at ease", and the appearence soon becomes a non issue. I've had the same experience with close friends at church that I see on a regular basis. If I just continue to be myself, everyting else becomes no longer an issue.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I know how you feel Jay Cee and i too have changed my appearance quite a bit, primarily plucked eye brows, some not to heavy eye make-up, and very feminine nails/hands.
Most of the people i'm around are at AA meetings on a daily basis (going back to the seasonal job in 3 weeks) and since we are at those meetings to concentrate on more important matters, know one asks or says a word. I get some rather odd looks sure, but not a word yet.

I'll be going more incognito when i go back to work sadly, the guys i work with are just not socialized enough to behave, so......

But one thing that did come to mind as i read your thoughts was the same rule or advice that goes for being dressed in public, confidence. If you go on about your work confidently those around you will pay much less attention to your appearance.
I know i have days when people start looking closely at my somewhat andro look and it gets to me, and that can start the shark feeding-frenzy syndrome.

[joan47]

I have thin arched eyebrows (waxed twice a month), pierced ears, long arylic nails, light makeup, I work with mostly females, who i have shared my CDism with at least 4. And I am sure they have spread it around. I talk with the ones that know about, lipsticks, fashions, etc

[Kate Simmons]

Guys, especially "manly" types don't embrace any changes well. It just takes time.:)

[Bethany38]

uugghhh! Change bad.

[Patrice_CD]

I've been dealing with this myself lately as over the past several weeks I've shaved my goatee of some 20+ years, started to grow my nails out a bit more and shaped them to be feminine, plucked my brows to shape them, pierced my ears and just this weekend I applied clear nail polish, which they will see starting this week. I don't think anyone has noticed that my arms are smooth or at least they haven't said anything. And they cant see my fire engine red toes :-) So far, no one has said anything except for the fact that I'm progressive. I work with predominately males and the few females, in the industry, that I work with, could care less about their looks. They never wear makup,( just don't get that.) Admin girls are a bit different and one of them, who I talk to quite a bit, likes fashion and has said on occasion, that I missed my calling. She likes the new me. I've found as long as you carry yourself well and walk with confidence, everything falls into place.

[PretzelGirl]

Be yourself. If you try to do things to make people comfortable around you, then one of two things will happen. Either something will go wrong with the plan or it will go right. If it goes right, then you have to maintain that difference. Why put yourself in that position? Just be you and they will get to know the real you and get comfortable with you over time. Sometimes you just can't rush these things.

[AllieSF]

I agree with what everyone has said above. I would also recommend not to bring it up to anyone. Let them adjust and then ask you questions if they are that curious. Your replies should be what you feel comfortable saying, but "Because I wanted to", or "Because I like it this way" seem to be the most honest, simple and final.