Slowly coming out to the mrs.

[Patrice_CD]

I'm slowly in the process of telling my wife of how I feel. I've read and been told some horror stories about this so I was a bit apprehensive. She has no clue.

My wife needed to have the nail polish on one of her toes redone as her shoe must of rubber wrong during our day out today and I said I'd take care of it for her. After I did her toe, I placed the little separators between my toes and started to apply clear polish. She looked and me and asked what I was doing. I said I'm going to paint my toes as well. I put on a coat of clear and then put on a coat of the bright red that I had put on her. As I was applying the second coat she said it looked good and that next time she was going to get her nails and pedi that I was going to go as well. As men needed to have their nails done to.

She asked me something about is there anything I should be worried about. I said nope, just enjoyed womens clothing and how pretty womens clothing is compared to mens. She said she had a pair of jeans in the closet that were a bit tight on her and I should try them on. I didn't waste any time and I put on her jeans and they fit to a tee! Down to the length. She commented " be glad I have long legs" I'm not use to wearing them low but they felt pretty nice. She asked "so your wanting to wear womens clothes". I said not all the time, just now and then. I asked her if there was any problems with it. She said nope, it didn't bother her.

So we're on a little roll. :) Shaved my legs this morning so she'll get to feels those later this evening. Makeup will probably be the next step. Not sure how to handle that yet but I've got a little time.

[Phoebe P.]

Hopefully you'll be surprised and she will actually take part! Sounds like it's going very well!

[Maria in heels]

Patrice....did you hug her after she gave you the jeans??? you better drop everything right now and run to her ! It is great to have a wife who is understanding, trying to learn, and actually being proactive in your dressing. Just take your time, and let her go at her own pace

[Tina B.]

Well played Patty! just a hint, and then let her lead the way. Don't move move to fast, we tend to make that mistake. let her take it in bit by bit. Hint, take her out and get her a pair of really nice jeans to replace the ones she gave you, who knows what else she has that might fit you.
I hope she likes the shaved legs, if she does, it feels really good to shave the whole body, but like I said, I would give her time to absorb it all before I added to much more. Sometimes when we tell them and we find acceptance, we will fall under a spell of a deep pink fog, thinking we can let it all out, after hiding for so long. That's when it happens, we seem to get obsessed, and wifes get scared, where does it end, have I lost him, and all of those insecurities. Then acceptance goes out the window. Doubts creep in, and then everyone feels insecure. It's easy to get excited, I know, been there, and as you can tell did it wrong the first time, and spend a couple of years fixing it. But really, you are to a wonderful start.
Tina B.

[Haley Heather]

from what I've gathered from my SO, the one thing she likes most about my feminine ways is how much more affectionate I am, before I came out to her I was pretty stiff lipped regardless of what was taking place or what was needed from me as a person, and i still am alot of the times in my dude stuff but i am starting to lose track of where the line between them are ... sorry, got distracted, ... I so lost my train of thought right there lol ... anyhoo, perhaps this is an aspect you could use towards furthering acceptance :) sorry for the chaotic post, I'm a big sillybrain today :(

[Debglam]

Well played Patty! just a hint, and then let her lead the way. Don't move move to fast, we tend to make that mistake. let her take it in bit by bit. Hint, take her out and get her a pair of really nice jeans to replace the ones she gave you, who knows what else she has that might fit you.
I hope she likes the shaved legs, if she does, it feels really good to shave the whole body, but like I said, I would give her time to absorb it all before I added to much more. Sometimes when we tell them and we find acceptance, we will fall under a spell of a deep pink fog, thinking we can let it all out, after hiding for so long. That's when it happens, we seem to get obsessed, and wifes get scared, where does it end, have I lost him, and all of those insecurities. Then acceptance goes out the window. Doubts creep in, and then everyone feels insecure. It's easy to get excited, I know, been there, and as you can tell did it wrong the first time, and spend a couple of years fixing it. But really, you are to a wonderful start.
Tina B.

Tina offers some great advice here! Take it SLOW or you will probably freak your wife out. Don't make assumptions such as "she let me do A so doing B must be OK" - ask. Keep communicating.

Best to you both!
Debby

[Phoebe P.]

Tina is SO right! I used the fire hose method. It worked out, but only because my wife is so understanding.

[Natalie Wood]

Sounds like you are handling it very well. Good luck with it all. My masculine side wants to scream out advice and say go slow and don't scare her. But my feminine side wants to say we are all here to support you. So I guess I am saying both. lol

[PretzelGirl]

That is an interesting way to come out to her. I would like to add more beyond the wise words of Tina. At some point she is going to wonder where your knowledge and desires came from. I don't thing you can just do it a little at a time and then go "ta-da! I'm a CD". Something will burn you like "how did you know this?"; make-up, styles, etc... I would let things sit for now as Tina says but I do think there is a limit to dropping hints to add parts to your appearance. At some point you have to have the big talk. But with what you have done to this point, you certainly can start measuring her acceptance. And it is certainly realistic that she may accept it only up to a point, so she can accept how far you have gone with her and then start hesitating if you present anything further along. The final possible zinger is if she takes these current events as deception instead of just telling her.

I am very glad things are going well for you. I hope they continue to. Take pause and think about what she is experiencing and feeling right now. Looking at it from her perspective should help immensely on how you should continue. :hugs:

[Patrice_CD]

Thanks girls! I really appreciate all the support as I was quite nervous, And yes, I will take the advice of Tina and others. I've been into women's fashion for quite sometime as I am a photographer on the side and deal with clothing, hair, make-up, etc. So that part isn't a mystery. I will definitely go slow and see how things progress and we'll have the big talk when I think she is ready. At least I have on my new jean's as I am typing this and my nice red toes in a pair of flip flops with just a touch of mascara. My lovely wife isn't feeling well as she has been throwing up since early this morning and we may need to make a trip to the ER if things don't start to look up. And it's not from me coming out :-)

[VanessaVW]

I agree with others who have posted to takes things slow. I'd even say go a day or two without mentioning anything and see what your wife's comments or reactions are, then resume. Slow and easy wins the race! Being honest and up front is golden too.

[GingerLeigh]

Great success story! I've been trying a similar route, but t has not yet made a difference. I take care of the shaving dept for her, it's quite romantic soaking in the hot tub... Anyway, I managed to tell her how much I hate my body hair and expressed my desire to remove it. She said something along the lines of it being "just wrong" and that was the end of it. I used to paint her toes too, but now for some reason she won't let me do it anymore. I think my knowledge of feminine things creeps her out. I am also trying to throw in little comments about how "I'd like that", it meets silence and a changed subject.

I like your approach, I think I will continue to try it myself. Downplay it so it's not such a scary taboo thing.

Ginger

[naye]

Wow, thats great, I am really happy for you, I hope someday I can do that and have the same response with my girl.

[Kellyzspot]

I hope your wife continues to be accepting. I have an old girlfriend who was accepting of my underdressing. She wants to get back together and recently sent me a video of Lady Gaga saying 'don't be a drag, be a queen'. It is so tempting to open up but I am afraid a relationship would be only for her support and not for the other reasons. Who knows, either way I hope your wife accepts you for who you are.

[manemami]

yes patrice it is very difficult to open in front of loving wife i am able to convince about satin panty but other things not yet she even dont like to discuss the things now i have started to take herbal maedicine to grow my boobs as i love them lot i am still straight and fulfills her dreams more than her expectations will she accept my boobs i am concerned do you have any experience