Self Destruction?

[Haley Heather]

Has anyone else felt like they were self destructing after having started transitioning?

[Kittie]

Definately before, I hope I dont experience after, time will soon tell. Are you asking because this is how you feel?

[Haley Heather]

yeah, I have my moments

[Louistoalana]

I feel that every moment I spend as a boy right now, I'm collapsing on the inside. So for me more like imploding

[Rianna Humble]

I certainly felt like self destructing before I gave in to who I am, I also came close before I could start my RLE, but I haven't yet felt anything like that since. If you need someone to rant to, I can be a good listener, or if it's something you feel you can share on this board, perhaps we can help in some way - even if it is only to sympathize.

[Melody Moore]

I done all the 'self-destructing' I could do BEFORE I started to transition,
so now my journey is about self-reconstructing myself through transition.

My point is that I made sure I had overcome all my issues before transitioning,
so there would be no problems or fewer issues to deal with during transitioning.

[Saika]

Still learning to cope myself and feel that at times I am on self destruct mode, the ride is scary as hell. I have my issues, some days are better than others...

[noeleena]

Hi .

No. total no way..this of cause will depend on how strong you are . is this in the sence of what you have to go through were there issues details that were holding you back
& you could not carry on & life was not worth it. after starting . WOW....

After i started on my way there was no turning back .

One reason was we had a grand child who keeped me going, Dejarn was born at the same time i was moveing in my life as a woman this tiny little kid was what keeped me sane she really keeped me alive. she is 8 y 3 m. now, & she is one neat kid. so yea means so much to me.

I know im one strong woman yet i needed some one to keep me going. & she sure has.

Different you bet.

Tell me why you felt this did you have regrets or was just to much. hey i went down & depresson was bad news & that was after some 10 years yet i accepted my self for who i was . & from age 10 yet some times things do build up of cause we Jos & i had gone through hell for 8 years ,

while Jos was over in the U K at our sons wedding , 2 1 / 2 years ago , i sure went down , i know what you saying ,

I know im very strong yet i had one of many weak points tho i never expected this . I spent over two more like 3 . hours one night . on our Angels chat room with a friend , it was so bad i know two other angels came in & left us to chat , so yea that was one very tough week, i got through it just. I learnt one very important thing we may think we are so strong well i found out im NOT. part of my life in growing.


Oh dear i was wiped out i can tell you , so we may think we have it all to gether.do we.......


...noeleena...

[gretchen2]

I had a few major melt downs after starting hormones, but now my life is leveling out and I see nothing but blue skies now. For me it was just the initial adjusting to a new life. Give it some time, your head will calm down.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

what do you mean by "self destructing"?...are you transitioning now?

the nature of transition is destructive. so if you are talking about specific things in your life...that's one thing we all go through..hurting other people, risking our jobs...etc...
but that's not what i would call self destruction

[Teri Jean]

For me it has been a self discovery and in that discover there are going to be highs and lows. I have had some really low moments but they were sandwiched between some seriously high moments. Thus although they hurt I survived and no it wasn't destructive but a growth spirt that will be a memory I do not want to forget. Lesson learned.

Heather, that is the sweetest avatar. Lovvvvvvvvvvvve it. Teri

[Jorja]

From my experience, the feeling of self destruction is due to fear of the unknown. You know that you have started down a path that you are unsure of. This in my opinion, is caused by not completely and totally accepting and understanding who and what you are before starting hormones and transition. As Teri Jean said, transition should be a journey of self discovery. Yes, we all have our low periods due to frustration and lack of patients. These should be outweighed by high moments and a feeling of growth and achievement.

[Haley Heather]

I was having trouble sleeping and I think that and the way I was feeling may have had something to do with my SO having left yesterday, she won't be back for aweek :(

and yes, I just started transitioning

thank you all for the insights *hugs*

[Carole Cross]

I did find a little hard to adjust at first and also thinking about what lay ahead was scary at times. Now I am full time, every day it becomes a little easier and I feel more confident within myself. it does get better just believe in yourself.

[Haley Heather]

My confidence is horrible, my girlfriend is always telling me to be more confident, I don't know why that's so hard for me.