caught

[Lee51964]

A friend sent me a picture of me dressed I am terrified he will show everyone we know it wouldn't be a good thing with my family or friends I don't think they would understand
I don't know what to do I am shaking as I write this

Sarah may be comeing out after all

[Karren H]

I felt the same way when my wife called me and asked "who's skirts are these in your wardrobe?". After I admitted I crossdressed there was a lot of crying and carrying on. She was pertty upset too.... Fear of the unknown is overwhelming. Best to take a deep breath and calm down and figure out a way to minimize the impact and do some damage control. Maybe if he's a good friend he will buy into your secret. Maybe not. You email him back?

[Stephanie47]

And, how did this friend come to have this picture? Did you give he or she permission to take the picture? Maybe, a little more information is needed here!

[GingerLeigh]

What were the circumstances revolving around the picture? Halloween party? Some uncomfortable moment caught on film? A picture of a guy in a dress is nothing to worry about. The context of the picture says more than the picture itself. If this friend shows it to others saying you're a crossdesser, well you either think of a lie/defense or you fess up. We all have evidence floating around about our interests, but somehow we all manage to survive mostly unnoticed. Don't sweat it too much.

Ginger

[kimdl93]

Don't do anything. Give youself time to calm down and think rationally. Then ask yourself some questions to clarifythe situation, such as: How did this friend come into possession of your picture? Does he know about your cross dressing? Does he care? Have you asked him? How might you respond if a parent or sibling asked?

At one time in my life I lived in fear of being outed. As it turned out, my fears were greatly exaggerated. I was once outed by an ex - to just about any mutual acquaintance she encountered. The end result - nothing. I didn't lose a single friend. I wasn't rejected by a single loved one.

[Cynthia Anne]

If, he's a friend you have nothing to worry about! Give him something to think about, IF he values your friendship!

[AnnaCalliope]

About 10 years ago, when I was in college, a guy who I was not friends with at all dropped by my place to pick up some stuff I had for a class project we were working on together. While I helped him load the car, I had to take an important phone call and he used the time I was distracted to go poking around in my stuff. Apparently he found my stash of women's clothing and a picture of me en femme. He showed it to a bunch of people I know, saying stuff like "Look at what a queer Chris is". Of course, I was already out to some of these people and the rest were like, "So? Chris is weird, we've known this for years. Stop being an ass." In the end, almost all my friends rallied around me and he ended being ostracized.

It really all depends on how accepting and tolerant and overall educated your friends are. The first half dozen of my close friends I came out responded with, "That's it? Man, we thought you were gonna say you have AIDS or liked kiddie porn".

I've said it before and I'll say it again. A lot of people out there, especially potential SO's are more open-minded and accepting than we give them credit for.

[EllieOPKS]

Lee
You didn't give us a lot of background but based on what you said, I would ask him for his confidentiality - as a friend. There is nothing for him to gain by broadcasting your pic other than hurting you.
BTW, it was me that turned in a pic to National Inquirer of Hillary Clinton walking hand and hand with an alien. :) . I could photo shop Obama in a skirt if I desired.

Just food for thought.
Ellie

[Maria in heels]

I hope that you do try to talk with your "friend" and he will just let it go...unless he really isn't a friend. And as others have put it..how did he get the picture of Sarah?

[DebsUK]

I'm a bit puzzled as well. How come theyh ave the pic and why did they feel the need to e-mail it to you? Why not just talk about it or soemthing? I hope this isn't some cack-handed attempt at blackmail in the offing. Best is to do what others have said and start preparing the ground for being out, getting an idea of the lay of the land.

[Roberta Marie]

Lee,

Take a deep breath, calm down.

First' I think, you need to find out his intentions. Did he send this to you just looking for some information or explanation of why his friend is dressed this way? Or does he have some more deleterious intentions?

If it's the former, talk to him. If he is a true friend, he may be willing to try to understand, or at least leave it alone. If it's the latter, you need to get control of the situation to minimize any damage that he may be able to cause. This may involve sitting down with your wife and family and having a discussion with them.

But, I believe it was Vince Lombardi that said, "The best defense is a good offense."

[tawniegrl]

Theres nothing like being carefull.but the inevitable sometimes happens.My best freind caught me in the bedroom one night,although he was shocked he understood why tnis was happening.We had a good long talk and it wasnt so bad after all.Its good to have understanding freinds.

[Teresa Ann]

Ellie is right what you need to do is to get a good Photo shop picture of him is a real cute dress and show to the same people, it is amazing what they can do with pictures these days so I do not believe and photos anymore good luck Teresa

[Patrice_CD]

This really does need a bit more info. And if it is friend, like others have said, why wouldn't he just ask you about it. Do you look very similar between male and female mode? When I had my brush with being caught, the person who saw me had absolutely no idea it was me. He took the longest time trying to decide if I was a girl or a boy.

[Lee51964]

ok so I posted a picture on a site some years ago which brings up the question whay was he doing on that site

I am going to have a conversation with him just our schedules are oppisit we see eachother like once a week

[TracyBoy]

ok so I posted a picture on a site some years ago which brings up the question whay was he doing on that site

I am going to have a conversation with him just our schedules are oppisit we see eachother like once a week

There, now you have calmed down and are starting to think rationally. It seems that your "friend" might have a skeleton in his closet too! I don't know if I really have any cover up advice for you, but if things get worse, just remember that things WILL work out for the better for you in the long run. Now you can see that maybe he is not a "true" friend. Your true friends would never compromise you in this way. Good luck to you!- and never forget--you HAVE FRIENDS HERE that really do care about you! You are not alone!

[Xandria]

i had a friend pull this shit with me once.. he seen me in yahoo chat and saved my picture and emailed it to everyone i/we knew.. lost a lot of "friends" i dont care too much about it now..

[Josie M]

It doesn't appear your friend made any threats of exposing you, only that he found a photo. Like you said, there is a reason he was on that site in the first place. Sounds like that conversation is a good idea :)

[Tanya83]

Well, if you REALLY don't want to be "Caught", you shouldn't have pictures of yourself dressed up. Especially in places that are free to the world. Just sayin. :)

[linda allen]

............... BTW, it was me that turned in a pic to National Inquirer of Hillary Clinton walking hand and hand with an alien. :) . I could photo shop Obama in a skirt if I desired.

A photo made the rounds back before the Democratic primary of Obama and Hillary sitting on a sofa drinking beer and Obama had his hand on Hillary's bare breast. With the right equipment, it can even be done as a video. A still photo is pretty simple.


ok so I posted a picture on a site some years ago which brings up the question whay was he doing on that site

I am going to have a conversation with him just our schedules are oppisit we see eachother like once a week

Things posted on the Internet never go away. And they're not hard to find. Do a web search on your name here and you will get a link to this forum.

[Joanne f]

You say " if your friends find out" yet it is a friend that sent you the picture so i guess they have found out , it just depends on why he has sent it now.

[Rogina B]

You should have replied immediately..."How do I look compared to all the other T girls you have been oogling?" LOL

[vikki2020]

I guess that you will find out just how good a friend he is. He basically started the conversation for you, now you should continue nit with him,and find out the answers to your questions. Maybe a "push" can be good for you, maybe not.