What does my Gender specialist mean by 24/7 ?

[BreenaDion]

Had an appt. with her back in mid feb and she asked me if I was 24/7 yet. I said no of course because I dont put on make up or some times I wear gender neutral jacket, but eveything else is female. I had some female voice training but had to stop cuz of budget problems.

In dec. of last yr I was in counsult with her about coming out to my wifes family(inlaws) and about coming out in general. As she explained it was best to man up for the holidays an not put pressure on my wifes ageing mother, mid 80's. Ok so a couple months whent by an said I havent came out only to wife's sister which owns the house her mom built an inlaw appartment on. Sandy and Moe are very close sisters as sister can get. I told sandy in a hour conversation with my 2 kids in the car as she drove me to pick up mine. Is then I told her what I am an the journey im on and Moe my wife needs ur support more that ever.

That whent over ok an this sunday im finally going over to see Sandy an explain in more detail an answer question cuz Moe needs her for support when we tell her mom an if her mom needs to ask some questions later Sandy is there to answer some, hopefully.

Last meeting with my gender specialist she asked me if I was 24/7 yet and I said no. Then she ask if I am a Man, I quickly answered no I am no man.
Like what F*** is that all about?

I did not live my life like a normal TS an I thought she knew that from the beginning, seams I might have to clearify the fact more. As I lived my life I was NOT a Normal TS this is what bugged my for about a yr and I whent through a tuff time of it pointing a loaded gun at my head twice. I did over come all of that an realized more about my brain. I have a survivors brain that will not let me do that kind of stuff, It wont make nuerlogical connections to commit, hard to explain but I got it any way.

I am afraid to get more in detail but if I must, I still suffer from transsexualism and that wont change. I just find myself so different from every one else. So different in fact even I dont know where I am. Thats tuff to explain but for the ones who have gone through AN AWAKENING know exactly what im talking about.

Damn I should of kept a journal an wrote a book..
My question if you know what she meant by that, was going to tell my support group but I got ill an didnt go. Thanks.
Breena.

[Debb]

Maybe she was trying to challenge you, to see how firm your knowledge of yourself is? Just throwing ideas out here, but I can see that happening.

[Robin Lee]

Breena,
Not sure about the 24/7 as most GG don't live 24/7 as they are the bigest cross dressers out there. I would only guess that your like me and dress as much as I can and keep moving forword with tranistion. It looks like I will get my endo to put me on HRT in April. Hang in there as we are not incharge of this ride.

Best Wishes,
Robin Lee

[Xandria]

the only thing i could think of is that a long time ago i looked into transitioning.. my therapist said i needed to live 24/7 as a woman for 2 years before i could even start hormone therapy. Yes, i know that GGs dont live 24/7.. they're already women..

maybe thats what your therapist is trying to figure out?? i dunno.

[BreenaDion]

omg xandria I would never have the courage to be 24/7 before getting hormonoes. I got hormonoes from the internet just as my gender specialist said why dont we wait 6 more months to see if you lose weight. Glad I came to my senses cuz I had trauma over that 1 its call the Freeze Response. I let her have it back 3 times after that in the following months an she apologized to me those 3 times. Since then I put up walls, block, a self protected mode to help me from getting more post traumatic strees from her. I have PTSD and I dont need more. Im doing GREAT when it comes to that. Seen a dr for months to just to learn to let things go!.
Harry Benjamin standards of care here in mass we only need 3 months of counciling to letter for hormones, dont know where you are from but thats bad. Good Luck
Breena

[Kaitlyn Michele]

24/7 generally means that you are living your life all the time as a woman....usually that means everyone is using your female name, you are out at work and you expect to be treated at all times as a woman...it has nothing to do with how you feel on the inside..it has nothing to do with what you wear...it's LIVING what you ARE...if you are freaking out over being asked the question, i think you are overreacting..

all of us are dealing with this in our own way...if your way is working for you, then don't worry about the therapist..

xandria your therapist did you a terrible disservice...it is an example of how idiotic our gatekeepers are and how they take real life proven strategies that help us, and they act like we have to "earn" our medicine..
keeping HRT away from you because you didn't prove your worth by living female for 2 years is infuriating... hey maybe transition and HRT are not for you, but how can you ever know if idiots keep you from doing things that have helped many of us..

[Katesback]

I have a more detailed explanation for you. Have you changed your name? Do you intereact with the world with your girl name of a boy name. Are all your papers saying the boy name? From what you have said I would say you are NOT 24/7. You might be delving into presenting a girl but your have NOT REALLY gone to that length.

KAtie

[BreenaDion]

Think its more towards me being a 100% thinking male for 50 yrs an then AN AWAKENING which my brain is transmitting a constant data stream of imformation to my mind (Cognitive Thinking ) my conscious self. God it took me almost 2 years to understand that. As I posted before PTSD to An Awakening. Wasnt to long ago I got the grasp of it, thank god in time I did.
15 months on HRT and at my age 57 its hard to much change. The past few months ive been on peoples back about the lack of pronouns an nouns that they use on me and my Gender specialisy knows this. I told her I lost the use of my male hemisphere and gaining more of the female one. That is what my Psychologist told me a few months ago an my therapist knows this. She also can be a hard Bi*** to deal with. I have head from other sourses that she is a horrable therapist but a great genderist. I see her as a very good social worker a good genderist and a terrible therapist. I have had countless session with others in my life so I know the difference.

As far as living 24/7 in that context Kaitlyn, Yes I have been for months an my therapist knows this. All I can think of is she is rattling my cage ? The Bit** useally does like to this on an ocassion.
Thanks for the new insight.
Breena.

Katesback My Gender Specialist knows that I am saving money for a Bilaterial Orthiectomy and then change all off my documents over to 3 new names an m to F. I have to file for bankruptcy first to clear the court cases against me from credit cards. She know this and then I change every thing. The operation is only going to cost me 1750$ and plus plane an hotel so thats a steal. Around here its 7-9K like wtf. I dont even care if she does a butcher job on the scrotum, cuz I dont see me getting the resourses for SRS. Even if I did I dont see me haven sex with a man, thats disgusting!

Wife and I are mates for life and that fine with me, i'll adjust if I have to. I did learn that along time ago.
Breena

Yes I do have every one use my choosen name Breena except her family. That is what im working on now. I dont work cuz im disabled, saven me that greif. Also that leaves me poor, but i'll manage. Might say I have a problem when they use my male name and the he/him. I got it bad in that respect an my Therapist knows this.
Breena.

[ReineD]

Not sure about the 24/7 as most GG don't live 24/7 as they are the bigest cross dressers out there.

And we crossdress why? Because we wear Jeans and go out without makeup? :rolleyes:

I can't wait to see how you will go to the grocery store after you've been transitioned for about 5 years. lol

[Katesback]

Ok so a doctor in Thailand with a really good reputation charges just over $10,000 for SRS. Why would you spend $2000 to remain a guy? I mean really thats what you will remain as. Or is it the only way to keep the marriage?





Katesback My Gender Specialist knows that I am saving money for a Bilaterial Orthiectomy and then change all off my documents over to 3 new names an m to F. I have to file for bankruptcy first to clear the court cases against me from credit cards. She know this and then I change every thing. The operation is only going to cost me 1750$ and plus plane an hotel so thats a steal. Around here its 7-9K like wtf. I dont even care if she does a butcher job on the scrotum, cuz I dont see me getting the resourses for SRS. Even if I did I dont see me haven sex with a man, thats disgusting!

Wife and I are mates for life and that fine with me, i'll adjust if I have to. I did learn that along time ago.
Breena

[Jorja]

Well from reading all the posts so far BreeanaDion, I think your therapist is trying to figure out if you truely are TS and would benifit from transition. So far from what you have told us it doesn't appear that way, but then I am not there and do not know you at all. Maybe I am losing something in your writing style, I don't know.


And we crossdress why? Because we wear Jeans and go out without makeup? :rolleyes:

I can't wait to see how you will go to the grocery store after you've been transitioned for about 5 years. lol

Hair pulled back in a ponytail,all most, sweatpants, fuzzy pink slippers, and a tube top.
after all a girl wants to blend in. :D

[LeannL]

All of the other posts have given you a pretty good range of explanations so I don't think I can add to it. However, I need to add that if there is any term your therapist uses that you are unsure of the exact definition, you need to stop the conversation right there and ask what she means. You are paying her good money and you are talking about your well being. You should not let the outcome of your therapy be dependent upon either your or your therapist's assumptions. So please ask questions.

Leann

[Melody Moore]

Bree, I don't think that by asking you if you were living as a female 24/7 that your therapist was trying to rattle your cage at all.
I don't believe a therapist would intentionally be trying to 'rattle your cage'. However if that question did unsettle you, then she
might have some reservations if you are ready to transition, or if transitioning is really the right thing for you. So why not just give
the most truthful answer you can? Even if you are not living 24/7? She can help you to work through any issues you are having.

[BreenaDion]

I am transitioning just fine as I am comfortable with. Last 6 months or so ago I have every one adress me as breena. I also for the most part am out an about. I have to present some male image as for legal an doctor issues and I cant change my name untile I clean this garbage up. That will be in a few months, later on in the fall I guess. With my bilaterial ortho of course.

As any Therapist can see by many sessions I am just as much a woman as the rest of you think you are!!!
Thanks to my brain with changing hemospheres. Thus as I am the real True Hybrid, unlike what the rest of you think you are cuz I never had to act.

In any case I can beat done all your sceptical minds you have about me, because I know what is, you only are goverened by you lack of kownledge in this area.

This is geting boring
Breena.

[gretchen2]

Sounds like you need to let go of some anger before you do anything.

[Melody Moore]

I am transitioning just fine as I am comfortable with. Last 6 months or so ago I have every one adress me as breena. I also for the most part am out an about. I have to present some male image as for legal an doctor issues and I cant change my name untile I clean this garbage up. That will be in a few months, later on in the fall I guess. With my bilaterial ortho of course.

As any Therapist can see by many sessions I am just as much a woman as the rest of you think you are!!!
Thanks to my brain with changing hemospheres. Thus as I am the real True Hybrid, unlike what the rest of you think you are cuz I never had to act.

In any case I can beat done all your sceptical minds you have about me, because I know what is, you only are goverened by you lack of kownledge in this area.

This is geting boring
No this is getting interesting actually. I was really trying to help you up to this point
with the best advice I could give to you, but after reading this post I have to agree
with Gretchen, you really have to let go some of your anger.

As for us 'thinking' we are women, I got some real good news for you... I KNOW I AM A WOMAN, but who are you really?

You claim to be a 'real True Hybrid?' lucky you think you are so special because I certainly don't. Here you are just another person
trying to work out who you are & how to fit into society. And you also think you know best when you are amongst so many sisters
and brothers here who collectively give you centuries of experience you could grow and benefit from?

I tell you what hun.. you are on your own from here on out with me. I am done until you get over whatever anger issues you have.

[Kittie]

As any Therapist can see by many sessions I am just as much a woman as the rest of you think you are!!!
Thanks to my brain with changing hemospheres. Thus as I am the real True Hybrid, unlike what the rest of you think you are cuz I never had to act.

In any case I can beat done all your sceptical minds you have about me, because I know what is, you only are goverened by you lack of kownledge in this area.

This is geting boring
Breena.

This was fairly insensitive and bitter. It is never just a thought, it's a deep seated knowledge of what we are and we all start with practically no knowledge of what we are experiencing. In my experience the only acting I've done was the years of living as a boy and trying to bury myself. I'm not the oracle of gender dysphoria that you apparently are, all I know is what feels right and what feels wrong and that's all that ever matters. You talk about us having a lack of knowledge yet you came to us to ask us what '24/7' means. It means living in the gender role you identify with 'full time' as it were. Morning, noon and night, not just part-time and if transition is right for you, this should be a wonderful step forward on the journey, something to look forward to, not shy away from. Your therapist is not rattling your cage, she is doing her job in making sure that transition is the right way forward for you. At some point or another transition becomes irreversible and can ruin your life if it turns out to be a mistake.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Breena,

It means that everone knows who and what you are.
It means that you are in the process of or are finished with your legal name change.
It means that you have transitioned at your job if you are working.
It means everyday you have made a public as well as a private stand to be who and what you are without allowing yourself to manouver back into any male mode.
You can walk out the door without makeup and you can wear androgenous clothing now and again.
24-7 is life without middle ground.


Julia

[Julia_in_Pa]

Breena,
Not sure about the 24/7 as most GG don't live 24/7 as they are the bigest cross dressers out there. I would only guess that your like me and dress as much as I can and keep moving forword with tranistion. It looks like I will get my endo to put me on HRT in April. Hang in there as we are not incharge of this ride.

Best Wishes,
Robin Lee

Robin,

The reason why I transitioned is because I'm in charge of "this ride".
I'm in charge of my life thus the reason why I have done what had to be done.
No excuses, no roadblocks, when one is ready one transitions.


Julia

[Melody Moore]

The reason why I transitioned is because I'm in charge of "this ride".
I'm in charge of my life thus the reason why I have done what had to be done.
No excuses, no roadblocks, when one is ready one transitions.


I couldn't agree more with what you said here Julia. I cannot understand those who are wanting to transition
and yet they haven't dealt with lots of other issues first. The reason I say this because emotional issues can
become tenfold when you are on hormones. If the OP has an anger issue or any other mental health issues they
haven't sorted out, then they should deal with those matters first before taking the quantum leap in transitioning
because issues like those can become so much more worse. And like you say, when there are no more excuses
& no more roadblocks, then you are ready to transition and only then you truly are in full control of this ride.

[Stephenie S]

Simple. When your gender therapist says "24/7" he/she means ALL THE TIME.

Not sure about the 24/7 as most GG don't live 24/7 as they are the biggest cross dressers out there.

Big mistake here, Robin. "24/7" has nothing to do with what CLOTHES you have on. It refers to your gender presentation as male or female. My sister wears men's clothing "24/7" but no one would EVER mistake her gender presentation. She is all girl. That's what the therapist is referring to.

I often wear clothes indistinguishable from men's clothing also (jeans and Tshirts), but no one would mistake MY gender presentation either.

Stephie

[Xandria]

24/7 generally means that you are living your life all the time as a woman....usually that means everyone is using your female name, you are out at work and you expect to be treated at all times as a woman...it has nothing to do with how you feel on the inside..it has nothing to do with what you wear...it's LIVING what you ARE...if you are freaking out over being asked the question, i think you are overreacting..

all of us are dealing with this in our own way...if your way is working for you, then don't worry about the therapist..

xandria your therapist did you a terrible disservice...it is an example of how idiotic our gatekeepers are and how they take real life proven strategies that help us, and they act like we have to "earn" our medicine..
keeping HRT away from you because you didn't prove your worth by living female for 2 years is infuriating... hey maybe transition and HRT are not for you, but how can you ever know if idiots keep you from doing things that have helped many of us..

And thats why i never went any further than that. I had a job where i could have easily transitioned. Not so much any more.

[JenniferZ2009]

I used to say I was full-time except at work and for legal stuff. I thought I was full time and a friend of mine said if your not out everywhere your not full time. I know the pain that going back and forth causes and it can do a number on you psychologically.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

And thats why i never went any further than that. I had a job where i could have easily transitioned. Not so much any more.

i had a job where i made lots of money and found i couldnt transition so i left my job...it's a shame you missed that opportunity.. i had a therapist like yours...it cost me 10 years of life..

i can understand not everyone feels the way i do though, but i have to say the relief of transition far outweighed the benefits of steady cash flow...i will say that i saved up for many years so i had some money and i won't lie, money matters..

[Melody Moore]

I used to say I was full-time except at work and for legal stuff. I thought I was full time and a friend of mine said if your not out everywhere your not full time.
Your friend was right, going full-time means that you change your name legally & have all your legal documentation reflecting your new gender identity where ever possible. I was able to change my name on my birth certificate to a female name while it still showed my sex as 'male'. Once I had that, my specialist then issued me with a gender identity certificate, so then the name & sex could be changed on my drivers license. It was these actions that marked when I started living full-time & I have to be full-time for a minimum amount of time of 2 years before I will be approved for GRS.

I have just under a year & half to go - but with all the natural disasters going on I just hope that
the world doesn't end any-time soon because that would totally devastate me & ruin all my plans. :heehee:

So nothing is going to stop me now if I can help it ;)

[dawnmarrie1961]

"Gender specialist"? Now there's a oxymoron if I've ever seen one! And why are they always a female? Has anyone ever had ( I don't mean HAD... well you know what I mean) a male therapist? There are male gynecologists.

[Melody Moore]

"Gender specialist"? Now there's a oximoron if I've ever seen one!
An Oxymoron is two words together that contradict each other, so how is "Gender Specialist? an oxymoron?

Personally I would rather talk to a female specialist than a male. However I do believe there are quite a few
male 'gender specialists'. In fact my clinic is headed by a male doctor. I could choose a male doctor at my
clinic, but I would rather talk to a female, especially with my pyschologist, so it must be a bit of a girl thing eh?

[dawnmarrie1961]

An Oxymoron is two words together that contradict each other, so how is "Gender Specialist? an oxymoron

I had several different therapists over the years. Some where "Morons". Many "Contradicted" what the other one said. That would upset a patient to the point they would need "Oxygen". I needed air and walked out the door and never went back. My opinion: These bozos don't know what the heck they are doing. Hardly a "SPECIALIST" at all.

[JenniferZ2009]

Im lucky to be living in Washington. Changed my name with a judge and went down to the DMV and then over to Social Security in about 4 hours and it was done. Havn't got my birth certificate changed yet. Dont really know why (besides not having any money right now).

Got my gender changed on my license about 2 months after gettin gmy name change and going full time. I actually got my name changed a month before going full-time. Made for an interesting discussiopn with a police officer after getting pulled over on my way home.

"Can I see your license" i hand it to him and he looks at it and then me and then it and says..."can you give me YOUR license"... "That is my license I just haven't shaved today.."

[Inna]

Hey Breena, some therapist insist on their patients to live 24/7 scenario to make the individual go through the motions of every day, non glamorous life, and to see if in fact they still prefer to go on with transition. I personally think it is lots of bull, and only applies to someone gravely disillusioned with their feelings. Another fraction of therapists do believe that individual, even though not living 24/7 can have a full onset of transsexuality and further tests aren't necessary to further their decision on their transformation. I suppose it comes down to psychologists own preference, or she may suspect you not being entirely trans person but perhaps have a fetishistic tendencies. After all said and done, you are the only one who can surely know of who you are without the doubt. If you feel progress has stalled change therapist.

[Melody Moore]

My opinion: These bozos don't know what the heck they are doing. Hardly a "SPECIALIST" at all.
Well unlike you, my experience with the pyschologist at the Cairns Sexual Health Clinic
has been fantastic & you couldn't ever wish for better 'gender specialist'. I think when
you have to wade through a telephone directory trying to choose a pyschologist to help
you with gender related issues, its like walking through a minefield where you don't know
whether you will make it or step on a mine & blow yourself up. So try going to specialist
who have a sound & solid history with dealing with gender related issues & you will be fine.
But please don't develop a chip on your shoulder because it's not very becoming of you sis. :hugs:

[gretchen2]

Here is an Oxymoron, I can no longer live within the restraints of male privilege any longer.