Is Crossdressing related to stress?

[trina]

Hmmm...It seems that many of you say that your CDing (though I'm sure it's not the only benefit) helps to relieve stress. ?? I had asked my husband if he dressed sometimes to relieve stress and he said he had never contemplated that. So, my question is: Do you think it would be wise or helpful for me to tell my husband to set aside some special time during the week to dress (whether it's for relieving stress or simply fun)??? He says he doesn't want to dress, he just gets these "urges" sometimes and has to satisfy them eventually. Then, he feels guilty afterward. (this was before I was accepting)....I'm not sure that I believe that he doesn't WANT to dress, but I'm not sure he knows where his decision falls, either. Thanks ladies!

[sissystephanie]

Trina, I think you and your husband need to have a conversation about his desire to dress "sometimes!" Obviously you have accepted the fact that he is a crossdresser, but it sounds as though he does not really realize that! That is why I suggested the conversation. He may be having some stress regarding dressing. Since I have never had any stress myself, I would not really know. You sound like a great wife, and I know about that because I had one for almost 50 years before cancer took her! And she knew I was a crossdresser when we married!

[Phoebe P.]

It is an INCREDIBLE stress reliever! It makes a HUGE difference if your SO accepts it! It helps me wash away the day/month/year for just a little while.

My life is SOOO stressful...

[Sandygal]

I sometimes go from a nervous or edgy feeling to very relaxed and peaceful state of mind when I dress. If this isn't stress relief, I don't know what else it could be.

[trina]

Thanks Phoebe and Stephanie!....U know we've had many conversations about the only once in a while desire to dress..i think it's something more..but he insists it's not...i dont really mind either way..i just want him to be comfortable. And no, Stephanie, he DOES NOT realize that he is a crossdresser. He really thinks its just something he can't help but do every once in a while. I keep trying to convince him that it is part of him and that there is nothing wrong with that. But he is a very introverted shy guy.

[az_azeel]

Yes..my current circumstances are causing me to want to dress more,,

[Cynthia Anne]

I say yes it is related to stress! On one hand it can cause stress, but on the other hand it can relieve stress! If one does not fully except them self, they will have guilt! Which can be very stressful! Once you fully except who you are, the guilt goes away, therefore relieving stress! I can relieve stress just by reading about someone as loving as YOU! Hugs!

[Haley Heather]

Thanks Phoebe and Stephanie!....U know we've had many conversations about the only once in a while desire to dress..i think it's something more..but he insists it's not...i dont really mind either way..i just want him to be comfortable. And no, Stephanie, he DOES NOT realize that he is a crossdresser. He really thinks its just something he can't help but do every once in a while. I keep trying to convince him that it is part of him and that there is nothing wrong with that. But he is a very introverted shy guy.

Be patient, some just need time to see that they can be themselves with their loved one as they would be themselves by there self.

[Phoebe P.]

Wow! My wife accepts, but didn't try to draw it out of me! You are a sweet and very understanding woman!

Guys react to stress differently. I would rather wear panties, hose, and makeup than have my heart explode.

Why this gives me comfort, I'm not sure. I love the smell of makeup and the feel of pantyhose, silk, and satin. Takes me back to my childhood.

I told my wife, when I'm dressed, it's like having a big hug.

Just accept him and love him.

[Eryn]

...we've had many conversations about the only once in a while desire to dress..i think it's something more..but he insists it's not...i dont really mind either way..i just want him to be comfortable. And no, Stephanie, he DOES NOT realize that he is a crossdresser. He really thinks its just something he can't help but do every once in a while. I keep trying to convince him that it is part of him and that there is nothing wrong with that.

Some CDers might have trouble understanding the part of your post that I put in bold above as they always knew about this aspect of themselves. However, it was absolutely true in my case for many years. Thinking that one has a perverse compulsion that needs to be deeply hidden doesn't exactly encourage one to do any research on it!

Your husband is obviously in good hands. You've got all the time in the world to discuss and explore. I wouldn't worry about "convincing him" that he is a crossdresser as I suspect that the realization will occur naturally and probably fairly soon since you are so accepting. Just keep loving him and show him that you approve of his dressing and I think that things will go just fine.

Eryn

[Phoebe P.]

Well said, Eryn. An accepting SO means everything.

[Byron]

I would have to say some part of it is a stress reliever. I do notice an increase in frequency during stressful periods of my life.
But in just as many ways it is about fun.

Ultimately though it is an escape from life's other BS.

[Jessica_Dillon]

Trina, first, nice to see your name in these posts again! When everyone here writes that husbands need to give their wives time to adjust to the "news," we sometimes forget that we also need time to adjust. You have been a wonderfully accepting person for your husband. The feeling of guilt afterwards, well, I'm sure at some time or another that most of the girls on this site would agree with that. For me, it was at a much younger age...but it was there at one time too. When my wife and I were dating, I told her about Jessica. After we were married, she decided to become as active, interested or as supporting as your are of your husband. For so long though, it is a hidden thing that no one else knows about, so for you to find out, and be accepting and understanding is a whole new world for your husband. So in this realm, I'm going to say this. Give him time, and keep talking to him. Let him know that you love him, and that you two are a team forever, no matter what. I suspect that your husband would like to dress, but to appear as something other than your husband is also something he has to adjust to as well. Whether or not this is accurate, well, that's for you two to decide, but keep being open and honest with him, and he will be with you too. It may take months, or years, but your relationship will reap rich benefits throughout your lives as a result. Keep posting and writting here too...your posts exhibit a warmth and compassion toward your husband, and that is so nice to see!

Totally didn't even address the question you asked here! Stess? Well, it varies from person to person. I think I used to use that as an excuse, but really...I just like the time as Jessica. It's enjoyable.

[Gillian Gigs]

Is it stress relief,or just unwinding? Sometimes it is one, sometimes it is the other. If I feel calmed and relaxed as a result of dressing up, is it better than getting drunk, or shooting something? The thought of slipping into something comfortable makes the most sense to me.

[giuseppina]

Hello Trina

Your husband is very lucky to have you.

Your comments about him feeling guilty after dressing have me wondering if he accepts the dressing as part of him. It would be better for him if he lets go of the guilt. I don't know how to advise other than keep doing what your doing. If that doesn't work, perhaps a licensed counsellor with expertise in gender issues may be helpful. Unfortuneately, most counsellors don't have a lot of training or experience in this area.

[AKAMichelle]

Giving them some dressing time is a great idea. According to your post the offer might be cancelled out by guilt. So you might not get the result that you are looking for.

[Maria in heels]

Trina,
It's funny that you bring up this subject as I was speaking with a new friend from the forum here about this yesterday. I do have an understanding wife such as you, and she too asks sometimes if I want to dress. She does understand that dressing does give me a sense of calmness, or as Phoebe puts it, a warm big hug. It is that feeling that de-stresses a person, not unlike a person just getting home, and dropping all their pants, skirt, tops to grab a big t shirt and sweat pants...that is another form of stress relieving feelings from simple cloth items. Kudos to you for trying to understand...

On the other note, each person is different, but your husband's reactions and saying that " he just gets these urges sometimes " is more likely from the "embarrassment" of dressing in front of you. My wife has known for over 15 years about Maria, but I still get hesitant at times and somewhat embarrassed when I hear her coming. IT is strange, but I know that I can sit there in our bedroom, watching tv with a pair of heels on with her in the other chair, yet if I am downstairs on the computer, sometimes, I hear her coming and I still quickly take off my shoes out of habits from long ago...I am guessing that this last action is what your husband ifs feeling? Can't explain it any better than this example...

[Maria 60]

My most stress is trying to figure out every ones schedule so Maria can have some time. If it was that every week i would have one day to myself i would be less stressed. The guilt after dressing has know gone away, the only thing i think about after dressing is how long will i have to wait to get another opportunity. I am lucky my wife is very supportive and when she see's that a couple of weeks have gone by and opportunity has not come, she will ask me if i want to go for a country ride or just maybe drive around dressed. I believe you should give him the time and he may not use it the first few times but trust me he will use it. I am much more relaxed when Maria, almost like i forget about my problems. My wife says i am much easier to talk to when dressed. Its a tough place in the closet, but a supportive wife makes it easier.

[Kate's at home]

What a lucky and fortunate guy to have such a loving, understanding and supportive spouse! And yes, as others have posted, he's still coming to terms with it all himself. Be patient, as you are obviously ahead of him on this. He's early into the journey...

Yes, stress relief can be a part of dressing. I would argue that dressing can be a kind of energetic centering within one's self with the feminine. And with the centering, one comes "home" and find peace within.

Good luck Trina, and enjoy...

Kate

[dawnmarrie1961]

Tina,
YES! YES!! YES!!! Yes,Captain Kirk, there is indeed intelligent life here!
Because of its inherit soothing qualities behavior of cross dressing can be caused as a reaction to stress. It doesn't eliminate the stress it is simply used as a coping mechanism.

You get a well earned "You go girl!" for figuring that one out.

[Raychel]

Stress Relief, Not so sure if it is the dressing or the actual time that I get to dress. When I do get time to dress, I know that I will have a couple of hours of alone time. No stresses of the outside world. I certainly do feel more relaxed and more comfortable when dressed. So that does help. But the quite time helps too.

[Raindrop]

definitely...along with some diazepam, ahhh bliss, relaxation!

[Joanne f]

There can be many reasons for wanting to dress , some will say that it is to relieve stress, where as i personally find it hard to find the desire to dress when stressed, and the urge can come and go so it is not always beneficial to have a one particular day to dress as this may be on an off day and it maybe wasted as the next day you may really need that dressing time so it is really better to be a bit flexible on that if possible .
But (always that but):D saying that it is a stress reliever in it`s self to know that you can dress within a relationship and this in it`s self can get some getting use to by the CDer as well so it is not unusual to see some sort of hesitation on the part of the CDer when told that it is OK for them to dress in front of their wife/SO which i expect can seam a little odd by the wife /SO but you have to remember it can be a side of some males that they find hard to express in front of others straight away .
I know it is said a lot that it takes time for a wife/SO to get use to their man cross dressing and this can work the other way around, as it can take some time for the CDer to accept that they can cross dress in front of their wive`s/SOs
Add to that the "not being able to dress" when need can be very stressful for the CDer so it can cause stress as much as it can relieve it , it`s just finding that right balance if possible.

[laura.lapinski]

Yes, as most others have said, the desire to dress can increase when one is feeling more stressed. It is a coping mechanism for many. I know it is for me.

[katesometimes]

Dressing as Tatyana is so removed from every day life so it does help me to forget about the daily stresses in my life.

My wife and I have been talking about why I want to suddenly dress so much more. Lately I'm wondering if it's stress or just a mid-life crisis as I approach 50... All I know is that the urge is stronger than it has ever been in my life and for the first time I want to come out of the closet.

-Tatyana

[Kate Lynn]

I thought my interest in wearing womens clothes and shoes was because I had to wear a dress,with cute white ankle socks,and white patent leather T strap flats when I was baptised,then I considered it was because for 3 years of my life I had a step father who used to force me to dress like a girl.

[Crissy Kay]

I would have to say some part of it is a stress reliever. I do notice an increase in frequency during stressful periods of my life.
But in just as many ways it is about fun.

Ultimately though it is an escape from life's other BS. I pretty much agree with Byron. Although I do not have a lot of stress in my life, it does help me to relax, and it is fun.

[Tina B.]

I guess for a lot of girls, it is stress related, not so much for me though. I started dressing at around 6 years old, and I don't remember bing under any stress at that time, I had a great childhood. Now I dress pretty much when ever I want, and it has nothing to do with stress, in fact when I'm stressed, I find it an inhibitor, stress, feelings of insecurity, feeling rejected, this are all things that push me in to a macho state of mind, when I'm happy, feeling good about myself, and feel secure in my home life, the girl in me comes out big time. When life is good, I feel even better, in a pencil skirt and scoop neck top. When times get hard, look for me in Levis, and a tee shirt.
Tina B.

[rachaelsloane]

Trina,
The fact that you are willing to help makes a world of difference. I think it becomes more stressful not being able to dress. When I was married, my wife really helped me after the first time I came downstairs wearing her pantyhose and then started to buy me clothes or we would go out shopping together.

[Samantha_Smile]

I can only speak for myself, but I know that whenever Im tired, stressed, pre-occupied, feelng moody, I always feel better after a few hours en femme.
Dont even need to be REALL done up, Im finding just the escapism by itself is a great relief.

I think your husband would greatly welcome some time to be set aside for him.
Talk to him and find out! x

[Haley Heather]

I'm so odd it seems, the over whelming majority seem to at least start dressing for stress relief, I'm the exact oppisite, stress causes depression in me and the better I feel about myself the more time I spend in the mirror. :daydreaming:

[5150 Girl]

A bad day dressed, is just as good or even better than a good day with "him".
Little things that would send "him' into a blind rage, are small potoatos when I'm having my Wynonna time.

But then again, for me, dressing is about expresing how I feel on the inside. When i don't get to be true myself I get edgy, short temperd, and all arround stressed. I don't know if it's fair to compare the feeling to emptynest syndrom, or possibly even compare it too post partum depression. Or maybe compare to a retiree, who dosn't know what to do with themselves now that a life long carere is over. I'm not sure which is the more fair comparison.

I guess I could say that when I'm not dressed I don't feel complete, or whole as a person. It's like somting is missing. Would you call that stressful?

[sweetjan]

If I can not crossdress I get sressed out. I feel more comfortable in womans clothes, so for me it relieves stress.

[Eryn]

My wife and I have been talking about why I want to suddenly dress so much more. Lately I'm wondering if it's stress or just a mid-life crisis as I approach 50... All I know is that the urge is stronger than it has ever been in my life and for the first time I want to come out of the closet.

-Tatyana

I can say a hearty "ditto" to that!

I always thought that mid life crises involved fast cars and women. Little did I imagine that I would be the woman.

[Maria 60]

I can say a hearty "ditto" to that!

I always thought that mid life crises involved fast cars and women. Little did I imagine that I would be the woman.

Never thought of it like that, so true and yet very funny.

[trina]

I can only speak for myself, but I know that whenever Im tired, stressed, pre-occupied, feelng moody, I always feel better after a few hours en femme.
Dont even need to be REALL done up, Im finding just the escapism by itself is a great relief.

I think your husband would greatly welcome some time to be set aside for him.
Talk to him and find out! x



Thanks, He says he doesn't want or need any time for that..but I think, though we are talking A LOT about it now, he is still somewhat uncomfortable and embarassed. I think I am going to set aside some time for him alone anyway and hope he uses it.

[Debglam]

Hmmm...It seems that many of you say that your CDing (though I'm sure it's not the only benefit) helps to relieve stress. ?? I had asked my husband if he dressed sometimes to relieve stress and he said he had never contemplated that. So, my question is: Do you think it would be wise or helpful for me to tell my husband to set aside some special time during the week to dress (whether it's for relieving stress or simply fun)??? He says he doesn't want to dress, he just gets these "urges" sometimes and has to satisfy them eventually. Then, he feels guilty afterward. (this was before I was accepting)....I'm not sure that I believe that he doesn't WANT to dress, but I'm not sure he knows where his decision falls, either. Thanks ladies!

What a great question Trina(!) and you sound like a terrific wife! I think it is kind of a chicken and egg situation. I feel better, better about myself and just better in general when I can express this side of myself. I feel less stressed but why???

I think the answer is that I am doing something that makes me feel good about myself, like exercising does. Also, that because my wife helps me schedule time to do this and it is something that we can talk about makes the ability to dress something that is no longer embarrassing or guilt-ridden. That also reduces stress. Therefore, I can do something that reduces stress without feeling stress by doing it. Make sense?

I think it is a good idea for you to give your husband time to dress. It is an urge, but just knowing that he can have time to do this will help greatly.

Thanks again for posting this! Keep communicating with your husband and hopefully he is being open and honest with you! It sounds like you are doing much to help him meet his needs and he should be doing the same for you. That seems to be the key to success. I wish you both the best!

:hugs:
Debby

[LaurenB]

Yes it's such a huge relief to dress. Recharges the batteries and gives me back the creativity that stress steals away.

[NicoleScott]

I think stress relief is a by-product of crossdressing, not a reason to do it.

Doc, I'm stressed. What should I do?
Golf.
Tried it. Made it worse.
Reading.
No.
Stamp collecting. Gardening. Jacuzzi.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Have you tried crossdressing?
......hmmmmm....sounds interesting.....

later....... hey, honey, guess what the doctor prescribed for stress relief.

[katrinakat]

TOTALLY, for me!! Dressing up gives me a sense of balance, and relief......its just hard to maintain an equalibrium! I try and enjoy it, but i always miss it!

[Olivia2]

Thanks, He says he doesn't want or need any time for that..but I think, though we are talking A LOT about it now, he is still somewhat uncomfortable and embarassed. I think I am going to set aside some time for him alone anyway and hope he uses it.

As you can see from the posts here, people dress for a variety of reasons, with stress relief being one of them. Do you notice any change in your husband's mood when he does or doesn't dress for a period of time? In any case, your idea to give him space to dress (or do whatever he wants-all couples need some space and time away from each other) sounds like a great idea. I would encourage you not to label him or make any attempt to define why he does it (i.e, conlcuding that it is a part of him and not doing it is denying himself or that he needs to do it for stress relief), or make him feel any pressure at all, and just continue to be the loving supporting wife that you already are. Just my two cents worth. Good luck and continued wishes for a happy marriage.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Trina, I'm sure that one causes the other but I'm not sure which one causes which.

Orchid

[suchacutie]

Hi Trina! As everyone said, you sound super!

But, I must report that when I'm stressed, I'm in guy mode. In guy mode I need to "slay the dragons" and stress is something that's on "his" agenda. When the stress is over, Tina takes over! She's not a wimp, but my interest is in learning who Tina is, not having her fight the battles. The only way I see to relieve stress meaningfully is to eliminate the source of stress, then let Tina show up to celebrate!

I seem often to be the "ole" contrarian!

tina

[Janine cd]

I definitely think that crossdressing can be a real stress relief. Before I retired, I was a high school teacher in an urban area. The amount of stress that my job resulted in was monumental. Dressing was my principle mode of coping along with physical exercise and meditation.

[Phoebe P.]

Today was #6 work day this week. Did a lot of prep for a busy Monday, then taught a private class for a couple in their home (4 course dinner). We got home after 8:30. I was going to give it a rest tonight, but just had to come home and get dressed. MUCH more relaxed now. It's an indulgence. My wife told me the first thing she wants to do is take off her bra and put on comfy clothes. She doesn't necessarily understand my wanting to put on pantyhose, bra, dress, and makeup, but she is happy I can relax. It's been a rough week and I'm out of bubble bath! She did paint my nails though so that helped and I get to wear the pearls. Can't put them on myself so it's a weekend thing as well. Just had to share...

[xpshooter]

Hi,

Yes, I do think I crossdress to relieve stress. There is a different position where I work that I could take and I am not sure if I want to take it.

If I take it I would do the same amount of work in four less weeks of the year. So I would have less of a chance to have a me day during the week, but I would have four full weeks that would be me time.

[Missy]

when in stress wear a dress ooohhhh yyyyyaaaa lol

[Natalie Wood]

I definitely think it relieves my stress. Coming out to my wife has actually helped lower my blood pressure.

[ReineD]

we've had many conversations about the only once in a while desire to dress..i think it's something more..but he insists it's not...i dont really mind either way..i just want him to be comfortable.

My SO also can't explain why the need to be herself comes and goes, although she is able to be herself on a regular basis and at will (job schedule permitting). But the one thing she has made clear to me is that I mustn't push either way, unless of course if she is dressed and for some reason I need her to be in guy mode. He has always made that an option for me and I've not yet felt the need to ask her to change. But I digress.

It's important that you let your SO know that you support him fully, but also allow him to find his own levels and balance. Trust me, he will express himself when she is ready. :)

[trina]

As you can see from the posts here, people dress for a variety of reasons, with stress relief being one of them. Do you notice any change in your husband's mood when he does or doesn't dress for a period of time? In any case, your idea to give him space to dress (or do whatever he wants-all couples need some space and time away from each other) sounds like a great idea. I would encourage you not to label him or make any attempt to define why he does it (i.e, conlcuding that it is a part of him and not doing it is denying himself or that he needs to do it for stress relief), or make him feel any pressure at all, and just continue to be the loving supporting wife that you already are. Just my two cents worth. Good luck and continued wishes for a happy marriage.



Thanks, Olivia!
I've never seen him dress (only stumbling upon pictures) or even known when he was dressed. This is fairly new to me. I found out about it four years ago, but we really just started talking and accepting it the last couple of weeks (due to me finding more pics). So, I wouldn't know about the mood changes. :( I will definately stop trying to convince him it is "part of him" and whatnot, though.

[Brenda Freeman]

It was stress that eventually drove me to comeout to my wife! Still not sure of the connection! She has accepted my CD needs and has been a real sport, its all about trust! I guess some of the stress was not having access to spend time dressed without hiding my clothes, or the need to dress up! I was able to repress it for years but when I turned 50 I thought I was going to explode at times My chest would get tight and I was restless! I do know that when I dress up I am almost a different person , I just feel a feminine rush come over me I smile alot and feel relaxed! I guess I stop worrying about my daily lifes issues and focus on the moment! Great therapy for me and so far the cost of clothes make up shoes may be less than Dr therapy at least for me? I truly am happy that my wife knows (no secrets) is okay with it and trusts me of course we set boundarys I offered those! My wife has not wanted to see me dressed until recently, so over time our comfort level is still developing in a great way. I may be more nervous at this point dressing up in front of her than she is!! Maybe your husband is thinking this! Though I look forward to doing so soon. I think all the news and shows and the web are doing wonders to educate people on the wide diversity both men and women express them selves and that the gender or at least how one wishes to present is very fluid! Life is sure interesting, a good sense of humor helps, I am blessed both my wife and I have that and of course each other!
You sound wonderful and supporting! I am sure he appreciates that very much!

[JustineFallow]

I do notice a lightening of my mood when dressed, and I definitely smile a lot more, especially when I happen to see my reflection in a shiny surface!

[Meg East]

I agree with Brenda, he is probably somewhat nervous being dressed in front of you. Help him out, buy him a nice slip.

[LeeAnnRose]

Stress, anxiety, that 'Splinter in the brain that's driving me mad.' Until we really talked about it, dressing was only a half-way reliever. Now that my dressing activities are known my mental state afterwards is amazingly calm. I am still not personally comfortable with myself sometimes but when the time is right it is as relaxing as a night in the hot tub with some cold beer!

[RachelF]

Trina,

Hope things are going well with your husband, as you both discover your way to accepting and hopefully enjoying CDing.

I do not know how much of the tons of post available you have read. From them you would learn that there are tons of reasons why a man would like to dress as a woman.

I just can share my case. First thing I love women, in general I mean, I never cheated my wife. I admire the women body, your feminity, your voice, how you play such many roles in our society, etc. I have no interest in men, from a sexual or SO relationship point of view. I am an heterosexual man, who happens to like to dress as a woman. And even when dressed, I still keep liking only women. Maybe I like to dress as a very femenine lesbian (with all my respect to real lesbians). In my case Cding is a great turn on, which I enjoy too much. From this forum I learned that this could represent a real challenge for our SOs, and I try not to push too much. My So is accepting, but no a fan of my CDing. A good thing is that I do not have any urge of dressing out of our house, neither dress 7x24. But again there are so many reasons, so many paths, so many final outcomes. I do not dress for stress reasons, but now that you ask for that, I have to recognize that dressing has a relaxing effect for me.

My 2 cents.

Rachel

[FAVORITE HEELS]

I feel extreme stress release while Dressed especially after the wife is now aware of my dressing and lets me find alone daytime to dress.I makes me feel so relaxed at at the same time even while I am breaking in a new pair of 5 inch tall leather pumps. My feet hurt but the overall thrill of seeing you look the way you wanted to look makes it go away.

The fact that reading these great experiences and it being my story or a happy future to my situation makes me know im in the right place.

[Chickhe]

For me, I think a better way to describe it is 'a mini vacation' or escapism. Its not exactly stress relief, but maybe like a real-life daydream where I can forget about everything else and focus on dressing. If it was stress, dressing would add more because there are issues with it...being discovered, not looking good, etc. I managed to overcome most of the compulsiveness and now I just look forward to the challenge.

[Sarah Doepner]

Trina, Usually it's the husband here and we suggest they invite their wife to join the forum. Is your husband a member here where he can read and interact with others? It sounds like he needs time to accept and adjust to something that you are already comfortable with. I'd think he just needs time to decide where he wants to go next, and he may still want to fight it. It wasn't until my late 40's that I finally came to grips with this, sort of. If any of that would have come out before I was ready to deal with it I would have been embarrassed.

As for using crossdressing to address stress, sure. In part it may be that time spent crossdressing is totally consuming of my attention and my focus is on everything BUT the things in my life that are causing problems. This pushes all that other stuff out of my mind for a while and allows it to settle down. When I'm done, there is a fresh tablet to work with, mentally and emotionally. Stress is gone and problems are more easily solved. It's as much a meditation as any thing else it seems.

[Stephanie47]

After overcoming the stresses associated with accepting myself as a cross dresser, cross dressing has become a great stress reliever. My wife knows I am a cross dresser. While she does not approve and wants nothing to do or discuss cross dressing, the stress of her discovering is now gone. I consider my Stephanie side to be the female occupying the same space as my male body person. I am not a split personality as I am well aware I am a male dressed as a woman. However, being dressed almost eliminates my male side during my cross dressing time. I do "womanly" activities, while dressed. I do "manly" activities in male attire. Getting up in the morning and putting on a dress and all the appropriate undergarments comes as easily as putting on manly attire.

[VioletJourney]

It's definitely related to stress in that if you aren't able to do it when you want, it increases stress. But I see it like a hobby, it's something you do for fun that gets your mind off the stressors in your life. It definitely relieves stress for me, but not much more than playing guitar or building gadgets does.

[ninapuella]

I would say if i not dress, I will feel stress. And if i dress i feel much more in harmony with myself. So it is related to stress but it is like anything else in life. If you dont do what you like to do then you will feel stress.

[Loni]

cross dressing can be a relief,

and it can cause stress.

for me it is just me doing what i like weather i am stressed out or very relaxed.
as in to day i did my exercises no stress, just very tight and stiff.
only stress i have right now is going back to work at 2:25 am this sunday. (some more snow on donner). been off a week and mostly relaxing. could not go anyplace due to a broken truck and $4.usd+ a gallon for gas.

.

[NicoleScott]

Maybe he's a bit embarrassed to tell you that he feels the need to dress. You could tell him that if needs some "alone time" to let you know. I think that stress relief is a by-product of crossdressing for some, not a primary cause. However, there is a great deal of stress for some closeted crossdressers when they dress, always cautious not to get caught. Since you know and accept, that doesn't apply. Occasionally in the past, I remember feeling a strong need for some "alone time" but I wouldn't really call it stress. I've had it both ways: first wife not accepting (and divorced me for crossdressing), current wife accepting and causes me no stress or anxiety about dressing. Yours is a lucky guy.

[msniki48]

Thanks, He says he doesn't want or need any time for that..but I think, though we are talking A LOT about it now, he is still somewhat uncomfortable and embarassed. I think I am going to set aside some time for him alone anyway and hope he uses it.

Trina, you are truly on the right path. you are a sweet and very wise woman. Your husband is a lucky man. the next time he gets moody...tell him to go up stairs and put on something pretty, and don't come down till you feel more comfortable. lol

sounds funny, but sometimes thats exactly what karen [ my wife] says to me. after putting a few garments on...it feels as though someone hit that button on top of the pressure cooker. uhhhh you're a little young...do they still cook with those things???

whatever he does, its great to know you are there for him. [ but he still has no idea whats going on inside yet]

hugs

[jackielou]

trina i think your husband would love you more than you could understand if you would let him know it would be alright to dress when he feels the need and tell him you would like to help him with his clothes underware and makeup so he will feel more at ease i can only dream of finding a woman like you who understands he mate

[Mary Morgan]

Yes, absolutely, first cousins on my father's side. The stress comes from the guilt we feel because of societal ignorance, the lack of freedom, the price of two wardrobes, and of course the presence of two women in the house. LOL.

[MargaretJ]

I'm under a bit of stress at the moment and crossdressing really cheers me up. However over the last two weeks I've been less inclined to get en femme, as I am on a bit of a downer and I don't want this to have a negative effect on my cross dressing. I'm en femme as I type this, and feeling pretty good for now.

[claireblur]

maybe, but I dress up when I'm not stressed on my days off and before and after work. I have noticed sometimes in the past I might dress up though when I'm stressed as it makes me feel a lot better.