Something going thrugh my mind

[Steph.TS]

Society is run by fear, people are afraid of not fitting in, so they conform. conformity evolves into tradition and people are stuck in their roles, unless they risk being shunned by others. If the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, what does that say about society? behavior modification through fear to create a society is the wrong system.

I'm tired of feeling trapped in a role because of fear disguised as tradition. I live my life with fear all the time, my family keep telling me I worry too much, or that I'm too paranoid, but they are the ones that hold to tradition... they don't see the irony...

While I write from my point of view, society rules with fear because it itself is afraid, anyone that does fit the cookie cuter form is a radical, and doesn't know what to expect from it or what to do with it, where is the tolerance society is supposed to have? don't people get tired of seeing everyone behaving basically the same?

[Céleste_B]

Very good observation Jen. (Very sad one as well, imo)
I think that about 75% of that fear we create for ourselves...And until we find a way to break through it, it paralyzes some of us into conforming for such a very long time.
But once we find the courage to move past our first fear, we start to notice that not everything was as we thought they were & maybe, just maybe there is still hope to make our path in the world. It's at that point that the wall of conformity/tradition we built around us starts to crack....now some of us panic & tries to repair that wall, but others find even more courage to knock it down completely to discover that the world is a much happier place than our walls prevented us to see.
Yes, not everything is always perfect & happy, but at least the beauty, life & diversity of the world can reach our eyes more easily. At the same time we can help others break through their walls to see what we can see so that they too can live with less fear....which leads to less conformity and thus less fear of the non-conformists.

Your questions at the end are very important. Tolerance does exist in the world, more than we know. We just encounter the intolerance more because it is more vocal & visual. If we switch our minds to ignore the intolerance & to concentrate on the little things around us that we don't usually see, we might find that we will be smiling more & be happier. Those extra smiles & happy vibes might be noticed by some others who were intolerant which will maybe make them revisit their views to break down some walls of their own! Then maybe they will be walking around with more smiles & hapiness etc, etc...
As for being tired of seeing everyone behaving the same...I can't answer for everyone. All I know is that I'm tired of behaving within these conformities I have built around myself. I have started at chipping away at my walls to hopefully break free of them. Maybe others will be able to escape with me along the way!
Just my 2 cents.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

it's just the way it works ...humanity has been well served by conformity...and those of us that don't conform often pay a price...

you have no choice in the matter..

...it's interesting what lengths we go to "pass" sometimes, because the benefit of passing is simply that we can feel like we conform....

it is your negative feeling around your nonconformity that is your problem

bob dylan didn't conform
lady gaga doesn't conform
they succeeded wildly

you don't conform
what are you going to do?

[Haley Heather]

Fear perpetuates itself, the only way to break this cycle is to push through it.

[Nick2Nikki]

If you're tired of being forced to conform because of fear, then stop being afraid. It's that simple. If you decide that you have nothing to be ashamed of, then those who try to shame you become powerless.

[Eve_WA]

If you're tired of being forced to conform because of fear, then stop being afraid. It's that simple. If you decide that you have nothing to be ashamed of, then those who try to shame you become powerless.

Very well said! And all too true!

Every once in a while, I catch someone giving me the eye while I am out shopping or whatever. I used to feel ashamed and cower when that occurred, giving them more power and more reason to glare. Now I just smile back and go about my business. I them often see them feeling ashamed for their looks, and often scurry away. I took away their power over me! Adding it to my own!

[AllieSF]

I do not believe that society is run by fear. Yes, fear is one of the components of human interfaces and parts of life in general. However, there is also love, rebellion, tolerance and a whole lot of other factors that make societies work and function. There is no perfect society because each culture is inhabited by humans who are also not perfect. There are those that fight all the way and others who accept life as an imperfect process, learn to deal with it and live their lives as best possible enjoying it as much as they can. I chose to be in this latter group. I prefer to be happy than to worry about all those things that I cannot change. Try it you may like it.

[Steph.TS]

If you're tired of being forced to conform because of fear, then stop being afraid. It's that simple. If you decide that you have nothing to be ashamed of, then those who try to shame you become powerless.

my parents might kick me out if I become too unafraid, and start doing things as I want, and yes I realize that this too is a fear :P

[Eryn]

Fear is also what keeps us safe, from doing things that might be harmful to ourselves and others. Some fears are good.

It's the irrational fears that bother me. Fear of discovery, ridicule, embarrassment, both of myself and of those I love are always present. Yes, these fears keep me safe and employed, but they also hurt.

[arbon]

I live my life with fear all the time, my family keep telling me I worry too much, or that I'm too paranoid, but they are the ones that hold to tradition... they don't see the irony...

Those that have been able to step through that fear, that can get outside of that box, are the ones that change the world.

[Melody Moore]

Your parents are right about one thing - you are paranoid Jen, but at the same time they are also responsible
for why you feel the way that you do. And the sooner you get away from their influence the better. I went out
last night and had a great night out and I was with about 300 people and not on single person said a damn word
to me out-of-line or about being trans. I am 100% positive that the greater majority of society now accepts
transsexuals. You might encounter pockets of bigotry every now and again, but it is easy to deal with that by
being armed with knowledge to be able to stand your ground by using a sharp wit in a debate.

When people see that you are happy, confident & strong they back down. They don't dare to challenge you
because you have something they don't - Peace & contentment about who you really are. This is one thing
which is very obvious to others & stands out the most - you are at peace & are one with yourself & that is all
that matters here. I had one incident where someone tried to set me up to get me bashed - instead the guy
that set me up was told to 'Sit down & shut the f**k up'. I was praised by those that had been commissioned
by this guy to cause me harm. Just keep your faith & be strong girlfriend and God will do the rest & sleigh your
enemies for you.

People only fear what they don't know and don't understand, just like you fear transition because you don't
know or understand what it is really like to live as your true self. Your parents fear transition because they
don't know and don't understand - so educate them on the facts and you will have far less to worry about.

[Diane24]

Jen,

Fear is built into our psyche as one of our basic instincts. It's not something that is easily overcome, but you can learn to control it as you learn how to behave in different situations. Self confidence can be built up over a period of time through practice going out dressed and carrying yourself off as female as possible. I have always noticed more real women in supermarkets who look and act less like the perfect woman than any CD or TS person I have ever met! Get your courage up! Stop worrying, put on a smile and hold your head high! You Can do it!

Diane

[Melody Moore]

I have always noticed more real women in supermarkets who look and act
less like the perfect woman than any CD or TS person I have ever met!
It is funny you should mention this because this is something I talked about with some GG friends of mine last
night, we were all in agreement that there is a lot of gay guys act far more effeminate than most natal females.

My friends commented about this to me and said that I just seemed like another one of the girls to them. I replied
telling them that I was just allowing myself to just be 'me' because I believed that was the best way for me to fit in
to society. I think by overdoing things you tend to stand out more & ironically it was about then when a drag queen
walked in last night wearing a tight-fitting glamorous gold dress. This guy was that overdone he stuck out like a
sore thumb. My friends asked me if I knew him, I told them 'No Way' I also told my friends that 'I don't understand
people like this who try to pretend to be something they are not while trying be the centre of attention'. This drag
queen got everyone talking and you could tell by the looks on people's faces that the reaction was mixed. Some were
laughing, while others seemed really confused or disgusted by what they seen. And yet the whole time I never raised
a single eyelid in the place, even when I was using the Ladies bathroom. Just be yourself is the main message here.