Is it wrong?

[jo_ann]

I did this last weekend.. there's this video chat software with really great frame rate (I'm talking like MSN or better). So I decide "Heck, I'm somewhat passable, I'm gonna get dressed up, put on some makeup, and logon with a female username". I kid you not, I must have had 10 guys message me.. One guy was really nice, bunch barely spoke english, one guy started showing me his "ahem, thing" immediately, and then when I responded you could see him taking a break and typing a message. Anyway, at first I was like super nervous because I'm thinking "Ok, someone is going to figure out I'm not a woman and get really pissed off.. finally after sitting in the room about 20 minutes One guy called me out "you are transvestite", but I could have probably stayed and just denied it because I don't think he spoke very good english. Now keep in mind I didn't let this go too far.. I didn't really even get to talk much with everyone messaging me, begging to have a personal one-on-one chat. Granted I did make my bio a woman, everyone checks it so I had to lie. This prooves three things:
1. guys are extremely desperate, and the guy to girl ratio is ridiculous in
nearly every room (typically 10 men to 1 woman ratio)
2. without speaking and only showing yourself from the chest up, you suddenly become super passable!
3. webcamming has got to be the most confidence boosting thing in the world! In the real world I couldn't pass for a second, but here I was, nearly being completely accepted as a woman

Here's what I looked like, you be the judge:
http://www.joecomputers.com/webcam.jpg

[Mx Justina]

I don't have a "chatroom personality", nor am I the casual chit chat type in the real. However, I am very interested in the communincating potential of video-conferencing...so posted video-chat experiences are interesting to me.

I would opinion that there are many females that do not fit the svelte profile visually (especially in suburban areas)...so in front of a LCD screen at 30 FPS analog, such females would not appear too different than many crossdressing males. Voice perception (in medium ranges) is often a reflection of the personality (IMO).

J.

[Rainbow6562005]

Hi,

I'm only posting this because of the question you asked. Normally I avoid criticizing anyone's behavior here, but you risked asking the question, and I need to respond. (I think it is courageous of you, by the way, to take such a chance. :) )

I'm not quite sure what you're asking, but, if you're asking whether or not lying in a bio is ethical, I think not. Practical? Understandable? It certainly is, but deliberately deceiving people ...not for me.

Rainbow

[FionaAlexis]

My initial reaction is to agree with Rainbow that it is wrong to lie in your bio and wrong to deceive. I'm very anti internet deception. However I think this is quite a complex ethical question and pretty much depends on your intention.

When I go out dressed, am I deceiving? Yes I am because i'm not full time. If a guy opens a door for me, should I say 'thank you but there's no need because I'm really a genetic male'. Mmm no. Too much information and no one is hurt.

Transgenders often select the 'female' box on internet forums because that's how they feel and that is how they wish to present themselves. I describe myself as female on Hi5 - but in the body of my bio I qualify it by stating I'm transgendered.

A guy once chatted with me on line for some time before he read my full bio - and then typed 'you're a guy....' and disappeared into the ether.

I know many trannies post their photos on 'Hot ot Not' as female to see how they rate - and this, in turn, can result in contact from some people who believe them to be genetic females. Is that wrong? I think only if they respond and continue the deception.

If this chatroom is principally a hetero sex contact place and you where there to see if they hit on you then I think you were wrong. If you are TG and it is just a general discussion chatroom [if there is such a thing] then it is of no consequence...and I can understand that it would make you feel good for a time.

But it is an interesting question.


Fiona xx

ps - yes you look good.

[Rainbow6562005]

Hi, Fiona, :)

I certainly agree that the ethical considerations are more complex than I originally thought. I now think that the intentions of the deceiver and the possible consequences to that person and to the deceived need to be considered, from an ethical point of view.

Rainbow

[susiej]

Girls,

I have occasionally (keyboard-only) chatted on yahoo in a female persona; my bio is completely feminine and so is the photo. I deliver exactly what I advertise -- a cute, kind of silly, outgoing young lady who likes to talk to people about common interests, and, of course, flirt. I also have experienced the "mad rush" that jo_ann got from a whole roomful of guys at once. It's a very interesting, enlightening experience, and one that sometimes fully "converts" me mentally to a girl for a while. I get ticked at guys that come on too strong, or keep hitting on me even though they find out I'm a lesbian. I feel sorry for people who are unhappy or lonely, and do my best to cheer them.

And, I have also had some fascinating conversations with some really interesting people, and have kept up my entertaining facade and given them what I hope is a good time.

I spend most of my time in fetish rooms, where the topic of conversation is often more about we do as opposed to what we are.

This is not unethical in my view, because I don't think there is a contract among open, anonymous chat room participants that their bio reflects their true physical selves, rather than what they wannabe, or a role they simply would enjoy playing for an evening. In general, we are all on a HoloDeck, where fiction and reality merge, but the rules of kindness and empathy should still hold.

I suppose if somebody came right out and asked, "hey, are you really a forty-something guy with a mild case of gender identity disorder," I'd probably fess up. But, significantly, nobody has ever come close to asking.

I never show any interest in a relationship in the real world, no matter how intriguing the proposition might be. That, in my view, would be seriously unethical, meanly so. So as a result, I don't go to the "looking for love" rooms, 'cause I can't deliver my persona in the real world, and besides, out there, I'm already taken.

It would be a real kick to add a webcam to my persona, but, alas, I am nowhere near as passable as jo_ann. Fuzzy low-rez video and lousy lighting wouldn't help me in the least :(.

(Holding her breath) -- I would be interested if any of you think my position is unreasonable.

Hugs,
Susie

[FionaAlexis]

I can understand why you would role play in that way Susie and I accept that you interact in a benign way.

I do find it difficult to mentally tick it - Yes that's an OK thing to do. I think it could be fine so long as everyone is in on the game - and everyone is aware that reality goes out the window when you are in this chat situation. Not sure everyone is - not sure that some are more susceptible and get confused between what is truth and what is fantasy.

Fiona xx

[jo_ann]

I guess in a way it is wrong, but I never let it go too far. basically if they start asking me to take clothes off, or show me their "thing", I pretty much ignore them. It was fun getting lots of compliments though, and since I know pretty much every single guy checks bio before talking seriously, I'd get booted immediately (and they boot for all sorts of reasons.. they boot if you don't show up clearly on camera, they boot if the husband gets on his wife's account, etc. etc.), so since I passed with the moderators, I guess it's not really wrong. And to be quite honest, if there were a "transgender room", or I actually had $50 to buy the full version and host my own room, I would gladly do it.