Connection with GG's

[AKAMichelle]

I have always been able to relate very easily with women. I don't understand everything, but I feel like I understand more than most guys. I have gotten in trouble over the years because I try to talk with women just like another woman. They end up taking it the wrong way. My wife for years thought I was flirting, but I wasn't.

Do you think this has anything to do with our connection to cd'ing? Does anybody else have this issue?

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Michelle, Like you, I feel I can relate to women better then most men. Not sure it's because I amn a crossdresser, but I'm sure it has something to do with it. I think it is because I have a great deal of admiration and respect for women and never look down on them as it seems some men do; Like women are here to serve them or something out of the dark ages. Maybe that's why some women have confided in me things that they don't or can't confide in with their husband or other males. I don't think it's ever gotten me in trouble. But maybe some of them think I have a feminine side that they see even if I have not shared with them that I am a CD.

[Tara Lutschich]

For me most definitely. Going back to high school have always been androgynous, esp on emotional side. I was one of the alpha males in HS, pres. of lettermans club....yet my social circle was a few close female friends, not dating. And thru adult life my only and close friends were/are female which yes caused marriage stress for the friendships and also looking back I was not the emotional male I think the spouse needed wanted, she didn't want a girl friend. As far as CD/TG, well it's a visual world too and dressing enables me to see what I feel.

Tara

[Mary Lee]

I find it real easy to talk to GGs about anything, yes anything, they want to talk about as comparied to talking to men.

[WandaRae2009]

I fully understand. I have always seemed to get along with the women in the office rather than the men. Even when the kids were growing up I often helped out with PTA school functions, many times being the only man in the room. It almost feels like I have more in common with them then the men. There were a few time that my wife commented on the PTA events: "I think they would rather have you around than me". Even on some of the professional organizations, I tend to hang around with the women, I seem to be able to talk to them easier, and I feel kind of awkward around the men.

Looking back maybe it does have direct connection to the feminine side within us.

[Laura Evans]

I have always been more comfortable talking to women than men. I relate more to the female gender emotionally, conversationally, subject matters, etc. I always look for a social bond.

[vikki2020]

I find that I fit in better with a group of females, rather than a group of guys, at a social gathering. Just kind of happens,lol! I have met a few gg's on line, at other sites, and we have nice conversations, girl to girl, and it's really a nice feeling!:battingeyelashes:

[Haley Heather]

I have always been more comfortable talking to women than men. I relate more to the female gender emotionally, conversationally, subject matters, etc. I always look for a social bond.

Maybe because you can be more open about your feelings around women as opposed to men. Which may also account for why cross dressers and transsexuals often don't see eye to eye on some stuff.

[ChanDelle]

Michelle, I think you're on to something, but it's the other way around. It seems like the genesis of cross dressing causes our feminine interests and also the desire and ease of female connection. And I have been accused of flirting on many occasions, but I'm just more interested in what women feel and say than our male associates.

ChanDelle

[Cynthia Anne]

It sure seems that way to me! No matter where I am or what I'm doing I feel more comfortable around women than men!

[Eryn]

I've always felt more comfortable talking with women, but have also felt that they drew a line with how "deep" their conversations were with men. There is definitely a female-to-male conversational mode that is different from the female-to-female mode

My wife of 20 years recently observed that she always thought that I was more comfortable talking with men! I don't really understand this perception, but there it is.

[Melissa Jill]

Michelle, I think you're on to something, but it's the other way around. It seems like the genesis of cross dressing causes our feminine interests and also the desire and ease of female connection. And I have been accused of flirting on many occasions, but I'm just more interested in what women feel and say than our male associates.

ChanDelle

I kinda agree with this. Ive never been great at talking to people, men or women. But since discovering myself I feel a lot more at ease around women than I did before.

[Brenda Freeman]

I agree, I get along chatting with women at work and my wife's friends much better than male friends. Part of it is they are dealing with issues, events, clothes, etc. that I love too! I guess that is the CD fem side which I love! Actually I have had to bite my lip a few times with discussions on clothes as I think I new more about clothes so I did not want to over due it not sure what they would have thought! I think that the knowledge also comes from researching for my CD looks which I find to be fun! I guess girls have more fun!!

[Rachel Mari]

I agree whole heartedly. Usually at a social event, I can be found talking to the women much more than the men. I feel that I can relate to them easier and that they tend to be more interesting.
I don't think it's gotten me in trouble.

At one party in particular, all the husbands were downstairs watching Football while I was upstairs being invited by their wifes to come in the Livingroom and talk.
I wonder if they're sensed something that let them want to include me in their conversation. Hmmmm.

[Rachel Morley]

If I had to walk in and befriend a room full of strangers that were all women or a room full of strangers that were all men I'd sure feel more comfortable going into the room with the women in it, rather than the men. Lots of regular guys, who I don't know, together in a room usually makes me nervous.

I don't know if women see me differently than most men or not, or I'm making a "connection" with them or not, but before I was married it sure felt like it. I can't tell you how many times women have said they feel comfortable with me and have wanted to be my friend, but not have romantic relationship with me, and when I asked why, all my GG friends at the time (when I was single) have told me that they saw me as more like a girlfriend than anything else.

[Debglam]

I have always been able to relate very easily with women. I don't understand everything, but I feel like I understand more than most guys. I have gotten in trouble over the years because I try to talk with women just like another woman. They end up taking it the wrong way. My wife for years thought I was flirting, but I wasn't.

Do you think this has anything to do with our connection to cd'ing? Does anybody else have this issue?

Me too and I would guess that it is related to the feelings behind CD'ing and maybe not the CD'ing itself. I like to think that having a feminine side myself has made me more respectful of women in general. I like their company and enjoy talking and LISTENING to them. I think this is key. Maybe this is stereotyping, but I think a lot of men (most?) don't really listen to (or at least don't pay attention) to women when they are speaking.

I don't think CD'ing has given me any kind of natural insight into women but listening to them has. I've never gotten in any trouble with this ease at conversing with women, but it has made more work for me at times. I was in a combat unit in the military when we first started to get women assigned to the unit. Since I had an easy time at working with the women in our supporting units, these first women were assigned to my crew. It worked out well for all.

I too would prefer to talk with a group of women over a group of men. To be honest, I have a pretty easy time talking with anybody however, when with the guys and the conversation starts approaching the asininely macho, I'm outta there! I just can't even fake interest anymore.

[Courtney]

now that you mention it, i too connect well with women and think i understand things better than "most guys" so yes it could have something to do with cd'ing!
i mean hey if we want to wear the clothes i guess were more closer to women than regular guys. if i had my choice i would rather dress up and go out with a bunch of gg's rather than gather up the boys and do the usual thing at a bar or whatever.

[docrobbysherry]

Not sure it's the CDing, or just getting OLD, Michelle! But, I get along with women BETTER than I used to! Back in the day, I couldn't HAVE fem friends! Too much sexual t---e---n---s---i---o---n!

I DID used to think I was a "coati mundi whisperer" when I was young, tho! Does THAT count?

[S. Lisa Smith]

I agree whole heartedly. Usually at a social event, I can be found talking to the women much more than the men. I feel that I can relate to them easier and that they tend to be more interesting.
I don't think it's gotten me in trouble.

At one party in particular, all the husbands were downstairs watching Football while I was upstairs being invited by their wifes to come in the Livingroom and talk.
I wonder if they're sensed something that let them want to include me in their conversation. Hmmmm.

I have always been that that. I can remember very clearly sitting with the women at age 10 sitting with a group of women, including my Mom, just being one of the girls. Even now, at parties I am usually talking with the women instead of talking sports with the guys.

[Leslie Langford]

Funny you should mention that, Michelle...

I was at the barber's on Saturday, and all that everyone there was talking about was the questionable body check that Max Pacioretty of the Montreal Canadiens had suffered at the hands of Zdeno Charo of the Boston Bruins , resulting in a bad concussion and a broken vertebra. So, in their world, it was far more important to debate the pros and cons of the kind of body checking, gloves-off fighting, and goon tactics typical in NHL hockey games than - oh, I don't know - trivial stuff like the sad state of the economy, the impending next oil crisis, the instability in the Mid-East, the horrific earthquake/tsunami in Japan, the current war on public sector unions, and the on-going war on terrorism etc., etc. The testosterone in that room was so thick that you could almost cut it with a knife.

It suddenly occurred to me just how out of place I felt among all these "macho" men, how little I cared about NHL policies and politics (sorry, Karren! :eek::heehee: ) and how much more I'd prefer having someone to discuss the current spring fashion trends in women's clothes or my latest nail polish find with. Clearly, a beauty salon with lots of GG patrons would have been a far happier environment for me under those circumstances...sigh! :doh::sad:

[Mary Lee]

What I have found is that I have a better understanding what women do every day in their lives. Such as having the right clothing, makeup, etc. Like how many men, besides CD/TG have worn bras, panty hose, heels, and shape ware for hours on end. To buy female outfits that look on them and what to wear under those outfits. Jewel, makeup, perfume, and hair. How many men can sit with their legs together for hours? How many men know how to make love to a woman like a woman wants? How many men have had a guy on top of them sticking there shaft up your bottom until they get their rocks off and then get up and go about their business? Let’s not forget many are underpaid.

I love knowing some what it is like being a woman.

[katesometimes]

I definitely am more comfortable with women than men in general. I have more in common with them as I prefer "chick flicks", love fashion, things like that. I don't watch or follow sports, with the exception of women's college basketball and have little to talk with men about. I also hang out in a chatroom with a bunch of guys I met while playing online games years ago. I tend to say things such as "the women in the next cube looks good in her pencil skirt today" and get responses like "what's a pencil skirt?". And when they post links to "hot women" I usually look at them and say to myself nice heels or skirt, etc.

The only exception to this is around guys in my hobby of model railroading. These guys I'm much more comfortable with as I actually have something in common to talk about. And, as much as I'd like to see more women in the hobby, they are very rare.

[Sophie86]

I grew up with four sisters (no brothers), so yeah, I do think I relate well with women. In school, though, I had trouble relating to them on a romantic level. I could talk as long as it was just friends, but as soon as I started to have feelings, I'd get tongue-tied. It seemed like I was always out of sync with them too. The ones I loved just wanted to be friends, and the ones who loved me were the ones I just wanted to be friends. It was a mess for awhile, but I finally got it sorted.

Being married makes things easier. I can talk to women now knowing that it's just friends and isn't going to be anything else. I wonder sometimes, though, whether my chattiness with them makes them think I'm flirting. I don't mean to, but it may come across that way.

[Rachel05]

I have always related to women very well all my life and since I have cross dressed most of my life then I am convinced it has soemthing to do with it and as I got older that ability to relate with women has got even stronger

I love women for being women in the first place, so love women as a man but I can sit and chat about all sorts that a lot of me men friends just can't do and it has been commented on many times

[Mary Jane]

I have always found it easier to talk with women. I think they sense that I am different than most men and accept me better for it.

[Tina B.]

Even when I was small, when the family gathered and all the men where in the living room talking, and the women where in the dining room, I always seemed to drift toward the dinning room, I found the talk much more interesting, and felt more comfortable there than in around all the men folk. Even now when we go to a party, or large gathering, I always seem to find myself with a group of women talking, instead of with the men, by the end of the evening. Oh yeah, and as a child I loved to play jump robe, and four square (a ball game played on the playground, mostly by the girls) and the neighbor girls doll house. All of it was because when all the boys thought girls had cooties, I was wishing I could have cooties too, it would have been worth it just to get to wear them dresses to school. (in my day, most little girls wore dresses everyday, pants where just for the coldest of days)
Tina B.

[t-girlxsophie]

I do seem to have a connection with women,at work I spend all my time in their company,and am always included in things,even at my GG friend from works 40th Birthday Party at the weekend,she felt down at one point and it was me,she confided in.I think it's comforting that women feel comfortable enough to talk to us,In my case its definately because of my CDing,as they all know about it

Sophie

[suchacutie]

When my wife and I discovered "Tina" 5 years ago, a very important part of learning about Tina was, and still is, to understand what role she has played, and still plays, in my masculine life. One of the first things that we talked about was the ease with which women worked for me professionally. When I was managing people (got out of that a few years ago) my male advisors just didn't understand the way I dealt with my "reports" who were women. I smiled even then because they really didn't understand, and even though I didn't know about Tina at the time, she was clearly there completely subconciously.

Now that we understand Tina much more, and now that Tina has first-hand knowledge of transforming into a feminine being, we understand even more about what I did before, and how Tina continues to shape my male-mode actions.

I think this is one of the many reasons why learning about our feminine selves is so very important to us!

tina

[Rianna Humble]

Yes, I think CD'ing can allow you to relate better to women, but IMNSHO only if you listen to your feminine side. I have come across one or two people who although they cross-dress, still think and behave as a man in a dress - I don't believe that they relate any better to women than a cisgendered man.

EVen when I was trying to repress the fact that I am TS, other girls would often tell me that they thought of me like a big sister. In my case, though, I think that the difference is I could only ever guess at how a man would relate.

[Samantha43]

Women are a total mystery to me.

[Nikki A.]

I find that I do feel comfortable with both sexes, although I think I connect better with the females. Funny thing is that 3 females who know Nikki had relationship problems last week and they all confided and wanted my opinion. Maybe they felt that I could see both sides (I do know both partners in 2 of the cases) but it made me feel real good and connected.

[Rogina B]

Funny you should mention that, Michelle...

I was at the barber's on Saturday, and all that everyone there was talking about was the questionable body check that Max Pacioretty of the Montreal Canadiens had suffered at the hands of Zdeno Charo of the Boston Bruins , resulting in a bad concussion and a broken vertebra. So, in their world, it was far more important to debate the pros and cons of the kind of body checking, gloves-off fighting, and goon tactics typical in NHL hockey games than - oh, I don't know - trivial stuff like the sad state of the economy, the impending next oil crisis, the instability in the Mid-East, the horrific earthquake/tsunami in Japan, the current war on public sector unions, and the on-going war on terrorism etc., etc. The testosterone in that room was so thick that you could almost cut it with a knife.

It suddenly occurred to me just how out of place I felt among all these "macho" men, how little I cared about NHL policies and politics (sorry, Karren! :eek::heehee: ) and how much more I'd prefer having someone to discuss the current spring fashion trends in women's clothes or my latest nail polish find with. Clearly, a beauty salon with lots of GG patrons would have been a far happier environment for me under those circumstances...sigh! :doh::sad:
I second your feelings...I am not an athletic supporter and I don't want to go off to "hunting camp" either! I bet we aren't alone on this!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle, Not being a sports fan I find it easy to talk with women.

Orchid

[Briana90802]

I would say that at times I can make a real connection with GGs but I think that being a male makes reaching that connection much harder. I'm wondering if I was upfront with GGs about cding if it would be easier to make a connection. However, I have a hard time just talking to people. Other than cding I doubt that I have much in common with anyone.

[ReineD]

They end up taking it the wrong way. My wife for years thought I was flirting, but I wasn't.

Yup, I can relate. lol It took me forever to not be jealous when my SO was friendly with other women, or even when he noticed them a lot without talking to them.

I think this is because most of us GGs expect a guy's motives to be sexual (even if it is mildly so), when they engage in more intimate conversations with women, especially if they seem interested in the topic. It can come off as though they are interested in the woman, both to the woman who is engaging in the conversation and the onlooking partner, even if the CDer is dressed at the time.

And it makes sense, because I don't think there are many non-CD guys who would talk to a woman about emotional or more intimate topics unless he was interested in her? Most of us understand very little about blended gender until we get a crash course in it, while being in a relationship with a TG partner. :p

[verbatim3]

Michelle, I'm not sure what the connection is but quite possibly it is our feminine connection. My two best friends are women my wife and another close friend of both of us who i'll call Dee. Dee and I are very close as a matter of fact one night many years ago her and i were having a few to many glasses of wine alone and i confessed to her that i liked dressing in womens clothes. She was quite for a few minutes then started asking questions like Why, What the matter etc. When i told her it just made me feel good. (about 2 hours worth of tell how good i feels) she asked if i would dress up for her, I immediately said yes, Dee is about the same size as me so her clothes fit pretty good, she laid out a couple of pretty outfits for me, and helped me do the make up and hair with what i had to work with. So that was the first time i ever dressed in front of someone else. We did it a few other times until she moved away. I really do miss her talking on the phone just isn't the same, I have visited her a couple of times since she moved and once she helped me get all prettied up. My wife still doesn't know about me but knows that Dee and are very good friends, I phone Dee when ever I can, I should clarify that Dee and I have never had anything sexual outside of a good hug and kiss, we are just good buddies that understand each other. She sends me a little gift from time to time usually a new bra or underwear.

So yes i think it is my feminine side that attracts me to women.

Cheers Ellenise

[rachaelsloane]

I believe most women are better able to express what is on their minds and that most men do not really express their feeling or thoughts which is why we are able to feel more comfortable talking with women. That we CD helps in the connection.
R

[ReineD]

I was at the barber's on Saturday, and all that everyone there was talking about was the questionable body check that Max Pacioretty of the Montreal Canadiens had suffered at the hands of Zdeno Charo of the Boston Bruins , resulting in a bad concussion and a broken vertebra. So, in their world, it was far more important to debate the pros and cons of the kind of body checking, gloves-off fighting, and goon tactics typical in NHL hockey games than - oh, I don't know - trivial stuff like the sad state of the economy, the impending next oil crisis, the instability in the Mid-East, the horrific earthquake/tsunami in Japan, the current war on public sector unions, and the on-going war on terrorism etc., etc. The testosterone in that room was so thick that you could almost cut it with a knife.

Oh no! :hiding:

These are the exact topics I discuss with my girlfriends! ... Except for the hockey, and this is only because my friends weren't raised as huge fans of the Montreal Canadians like I was (before the NHL draft rules changed .. during our golden era, in the 60s & 70s :p)

[verbatim3]

I also hang out with the ladies at parties or get together's helping with the snacks and dishes and stuff, usually let the guys talk hockey and man stuff in the other room.