unfaithful people

[Ayame]

I see a lot of people on the forums that wish to keep their gender to themselves and that is fine for the most part and if people wouldn't accept you that's fine that they don't need to know. However when you date someone you picked that person so I feel you should be completely open with them and not scared of them. As for a lot of people on the forums it seems a lot of people are unfaithful and have relations behind their partners backs. I feel that people cheating on their partners is not ok I don't care what the reason is. These are people who trust you and you shouldn't disrespect that trust. :2c:

[Xandria]

couldnt have said it better myself

[Cynthia Anne]

Ya' said a mouth full there lady! Please DON'T start naming names!!

[sandra-leigh]

I can see not telling immediately.

I have done very little dating in my life, and the few relationships I've had skipped the dating phase (no, I don't mean One Night Stands: I knew them in non-dating situations first and then things happened.)

Anyhow, I do recall relatively clearly one "date" that I had, arranged through the newspaper classified. The woman sounded sort of interesting, but when we met for lunch, we could quickly tell that we just didn't get along, for no obvious reason. It was worse than "I just didn't pick up any good vibes": I could pick up that even though both of us were polite, that we just rubbed each other the wrong way. Even if I had known then that I was a cross-dresser (at least a decade before I figured that out), telling her would have been pointless... within 5 minutes, it was obvious we weren't going to get together again, so there would have been no advantage to anyone.

There were some other woman that I engaged in various activities with whom I wanted to date, whom I thought I was implicitly dating, but they didn't think we were dating. I made enough of a fool of myself telling them I was interested in them.

[erickka]

I so agree that honesty is the best policy. My wife wes told soon after we started dating, but she did not want anything to do with it then, and 30 years later, it is still the same way. She just does not want to see it or talk of it, but she does know I still love to dress.

[Melissa Jill]

I can see not telling immediately.
Anyone, I do recall relatively clearly one "date" that I had, arranged through the newspaper classified. The woman sounded sort of interesting, but when we met for lunch, we could quickly tell that we just didn't get along, for no obvious reason. It was worse than "I just didn't pick up any good vibes": I could pick up that even though both of us were polite, that we just rubbed each other the wrong way. Even if I had known then that I was a cross-dresser (at least a decade before I figured that out), telling her would have been pointless... within 5 minutes, it was obvious we weren't going to get together again, so there would have been no advantage to anyone.

You should have lemon law'd her.

[dawnmarrie1961]

I'm faithful to a fault, I suppose. Even though my wife and I have been separated for a few years and she has been able to move on into a relationship with someone else, I don't feel that it would be right for me to do the same. Not at this time. Not until our divorce is final. It is not an attempt to adhere to some obscure mystical and delusional doctrine. It's just how I feel about what is right and wrong for me. After almost 25 years of being with one person I can't justify breaking my vow to her. I know that I'm not going to get struck down by a bolt of lightening if I do.
I still love my wife. I always will. Those feeling just don't go away because we can't be together. Should I just jump in the sack with somebody else because I feel bitter and resentful towards her for finding someone else? No. That would trivialize the relationship that we once had. I'm not bitter or resentful towards her. As woman she felt the need to seek out another man for the emotional support that she needed. I'm glad she found someone. I just want her to be happy.
"No man ( or woman or person) is an Island". I know that. I don't want to be. Maybe some day when the time is right and after I've finished dis-guarding all my emotional garbage. I will find the courage to love again. I know it will never measure up to what I had. But maybe it will be pretty close. It gives me something to look forward to.

[NicoleScott]

I agree with Sandra-Leigh. On a first date it isn't necessary to tell everything about yourself.
I'm one of those who married without revealing I was (am) a crossdresser. She was totally intolerant and we divorced. I wasn't smart enough to learn my lesson, because I married again without telling. Duh !! But when I told her, she was accepting. I was lucky. I now strongly believe in telling before marriage.
But marriage is different than a first date. So when along the way, from first date to marriage proposal, is the time to tell? I guess it would be when casual dating turns to serious courtship. Just my opinion, but then, I screwed up twice.
Telling a wife after marriage is a sensitive matter, and has been discussed at length on the forum. So let's not go there now. But on a first date? No.

[Kiera79]

I think there are ways to make it known without actually saying it. Like what you wear, clothes, earrings, rings or just you period. As for the OP original post topic I agree with your statement. Any type of hiding is a form of being unfaithful. If you are in a COMMITED relationship whether living together or not the flow of information just makes good sense. If one isn't happy for whatever reason do tell so as to not prolong the inevitable.

[Nigella]

Every so often these types of threads come up, be it in relation to being faithfull to your partner, telling or not telling about your transgender, and many other moral issues. This type of topic quite often developes into a battle of morallity.

We all have our own moral values and this should be respected, however, we should not judge others by our own values. We are not often aware of the circumstances behind someones decisions and therefor we should not judge.

This topic has been discussed on the forum many times and I suggest that members read these. This thread is closed.