Inna
03-16-2011, 07:21 PM
For as long as I remember, putting on an article of clothing of the opposite sex gave me a charge, a feeling with underlined sexual context. I had suppressed my femininity to the deepest, darkest realm of my psyche and then when suddenly allowed to be her, I would release this volcano of femininity through having women's clothes touch my skin. I was theorizing that given freedom to dress when I felt the need without any boundaries would reduce this euphoric state to mere clothes, just clothes. I understand that woman judges clothing from quite a different perspective then man does, making the whole concept of clothing way more exciting to shop for and be fashion savvy, yet the sexuality aspect is for the attraction of her mate or potential mate or just to feel beautiful and well put together.
Well..................it happened! After my recent reveal and separation with my wife and then divorce, I have become my own self, free, and unbound by any responsibilities as to keeping the secret. After a while of being on my own I dressed for my therapy and nothing, wow! "NOTHING". I felt I was putting on my clothes, MY Clothes, just regular clothes, well, yeah, really pretty and coordinated and heck yeah, fashionista gurl clothes, but nevertheless just mere fact didn't set me into deep breathing, tingling mode.
It felt natural, just as I have suspected it would, but not as blah, as I felt putting on my male clothing, I suppose because of the fact I suppressed my femininity so much when wearing mans clothes it almost felt like a chore I didn't want to do. So here I am, prancing down the boulevard, in my Jimmy Choos and summer dress and guess what, just a girl with a pretty smile on her face:)
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well..................it happened! After my recent reveal and separation with my wife and then divorce, I have become my own self, free, and unbound by any responsibilities as to keeping the secret. After a while of being on my own I dressed for my therapy and nothing, wow! "NOTHING". I felt I was putting on my clothes, MY Clothes, just regular clothes, well, yeah, really pretty and coordinated and heck yeah, fashionista gurl clothes, but nevertheless just mere fact didn't set me into deep breathing, tingling mode.
It felt natural, just as I have suspected it would, but not as blah, as I felt putting on my male clothing, I suppose because of the fact I suppressed my femininity so much when wearing mans clothes it almost felt like a chore I didn't want to do. So here I am, prancing down the boulevard, in my Jimmy Choos and summer dress and guess what, just a girl with a pretty smile on her face:)
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!