Courage to go out and personal experience

[Vanessac48]

This always comes up. Some of us go out and try to stealth around, some of us go to less likely places to to avoid the masses. Some of us go out for a drive, some of us shop in malls.

For me it is simple. I'm past the point of who might "catch" me, or see me, or suspect I am a man. It doesn't matter to me if they think I am a man, belittle me for trying to be a woman, or otherwise, I simply don't care anymore. Once you have a carefree attitude, and getting caught doesn't matter you never get caught, because fear catches you, not people. I dress to be noticd, not unnoticed, because I simply have no fear anymore. I always wear red lipstick (MAC ruby woo my favorite), red nails or a french manicure, short skirts, 40D breast forms that I adhere (sometimes braless, sometimes not), lace tops sometimes, lots of black eyeliner, and my lgs are always shaved. My wife says when I go out like that I'm in **** mode lol, at first she didn't like it, but now she is fine how I express myself. Lucky there.

[StaceyJane]

I know how you feel. It's great to be free.

[AKAMichelle]

Freedom is much better than a life locked away in the closet

[kimdl93]

Glad you've reached that point of not being afraid. I'm still rather timid about going out in public - basically restricting myself to an ambiguous mix of male & female attire and a little eye make up. When I think about it, I'm not sure who I think I'm kidding.

[Michelle 2]

Total freedom to express yourself is the only way to be happy. Way to go Girl!

Michelle

[Julogden]

Hi Vanessa,

Simply not caring is an admirable goal, and I'm working on it, but I'm not not there yet. Care to share with us how you achieved that?

Carol

[docrobbysherry]

It's WONDERFUL that u can be who u r, Vanessa, with NO FEARS!

However, SOME of us closet denizens have no desire to dress for the mall or the shoe store! That's just NOT our thing!
U say u dress to ATTRACT attention and it sounds as if u DO! I admire your bravery!
But, when u dress in private, there r ABSOLUTELY NO LIMITS to what u can wear or NOT wear! Except in your imagination!

[Cynthia Anne]

Love your attitude! It's girls like you that are so encouraging! Hugs!

[kristinacd55]

Yup, no fear!! Wouldn't that be great. I went shopping first time last month with my good friend Jenn and I was really terrified. I made her pay for my purchases, while I retreated quickly to my car lol. However, I've now been to 2 clubs and there was no fear there at all. Also, 2 support group meetings, and likewise no fear. I guess being amongst friends helps for sure!

[Patrice_CD]

We all have different reasons for either dressing to attract, blending in, or behind closed doors. And I'm ok with that. Sure, a lot has to do with getting caught for some and the ramifications. For me personally, I find it such a thrill to go out en femme and be able to blend in with other women. For me, it's such a confidence booster knowing I can pass as a women. There are numerous times I would like to be en femme but the real world I am in just wouldn't understand.

[donnatracey]

This always comes up. Some of us go out and try to stealth around, some of us go to less likely places to to avoid the masses. Some of us go out for a drive, some of us shop in malls.

For me it is simple. I'm past the point of who might "catch" me, or see me, or suspect I am a man. It doesn't matter to me if they think I am a man, belittle me for trying to be a woman, or otherwise, I simply don't care anymore. Once you have a carefree attitude, and getting caught doesn't matter you never get caught, because fear catches you, not people. I dress to be noticd, not unnoticed, because I simply have no fear anymore. I always wear red lipstick (MAC ruby woo my favorite), red nails or a french manicure, short skirts, 40D breast forms that I adhere (sometimes braless, sometimes not), lace tops sometimes, lots of black eyeliner, and my lgs are always shaved. My wife says when I go out like that I'm in **** mode lol, at first she didn't like it, but now she is fine how I express myself. Lucky there.

I think your wife is right!.....:heehee: You are definitely lucky in having a supporting SO as well as the fortitude to pull it off. You go, girl!.......:)

[Rogina B]

I know there are other girls here that feel the same way. I love to be out and about [I am very blendable]however,i don't mind being tested. Water off a ducks back...And you know what,IT DOESN"T HAPPEN! It doesn't happen because some of us exude confidence in the right to be there. Even the teenagers will leave you alone if they see you are unfazed by their curiousity.I enjoy dressing properly so that no one can have an issue with my presentation. I know of many girls that enjoy this freedom.It is attainable by many others.

[Jessica_Dillon]

Way to go! I'm happy you've let go of the fear. Something that i battle with off and on. Hope someday it is gone for good. Glad to hear your wife is accepting as well. That's really important.

[Kathi Lake]

So, your wife lets you go out dressed like that? Wow.

Kathi

[Vanessac48]

Hi Vanessa,

Simply not caring is an admirable goal, and I'm working on it, but I'm not not there yet. Care to share with us how you achieved that?

Carol

I used to stealth out at night by taking a drive, and never leaving the car, and coming back home. Then one day, I just decided what is the worst thing that can happen? Someone sees me, picks me out as being a man presenting as a woman, and laughs. I realized that wasn't so bad. I have a PO Box at the post office, so I put on my short jean skirt red lips, black eyeliner, heels, and nails done, with one of my Victoria Secrets scoop neck tops, and went for it. I was a bit nervous, but after that I stopped at the gas station, had to go inside to pay, and tell the clerk how much, and even had a guy comment on the little multicolored butterfly hair clip I had as it glistened from the brightness. From that point on I was home free, and it is amazing how nice men are to me, open doors, saying hello, etc. Now I don't even think about it.

[Vanessac48]

So, your wife lets you go out dressed like that? Wow.

Kathi

She used to get upset if I went out looking to sexy, but now she doesn't anymore. I have a human hair #613 blonde wig that is very light and draws attention. She used to not like me going out in it, and asked if I like men looking at me? I said I'm more worried about the women they are more scrutinizing, men will never be able to tell. She loves buying me clothes, and now even borrows makeup from me, and asks my opinion on how she looks when she tries something different. She actually loves me like this now because I'm 100% of the time happy, and she is a better wife too, I noticed that as well. Just lucky I guess, I never thought in a million yrs I would be ding this in front of her, now I'm sorry I waited so long. I went rom stealing 2 hrs here and there to always dressed and made up, and I only where heels cause I love them. I weat them in the house always, and out

[Nancie64]

We live in a smaller town and I would not dare to go out here dress femme. I have tried to hint a little that I would like to go to a bigger town, it's 45 miles away, and just take a walk at some of the strip malls but she is concerned someone we know may see me get in or out of our car. I am concerned about that too, but than what is the odds that someone we know would be in the same place at that time. I also told her I would wait until it was dark. She has no objection to me having a makeover in Vegas and going out there, but I have tried to explain that I need to be comfortable when dressed and the more you can muster the courage to go out, the more comfortable you feel. I do feel good about myself when dressed and made up. It is nice to have a SO that does understand how we feel and does help us to look our best and give us little hints to help.. Courage to all

[suchacutie]

When Tina first arrived about 5 years ago, my wife asked where we might be going. At the time we really wanted to know who Tina was, as we didn't know her at all. In addition to that direction, I said I wanted to be comfortable with Tina, being able to shift from and to her, but also to be so comfortable that presenting as Tina was as natural as being my age-old masculine self.

It seems that really is the goal...to be comfortable being your feminine self!

And a worthwhile goal it is!

tina

[Julogden]

I used to stealth out at night by taking a drive, and never leaving the car, and coming back home. Then one day, I just decided what is the worst thing that can happen? Someone sees me, picks me out as being a man presenting as a woman, and laughs. I realized that wasn't so bad. I have a PO Box at the post office, so I put on my short jean skirt red lips, black eyeliner, heels, and nails done, with one of my Victoria Secrets scoop neck tops, and went for it. I was a bit nervous, but after that I stopped at the gas station, had to go inside to pay, and tell the clerk how much, and even had a guy comment on the little multicolored butterfly hair clip I had as it glistened from the brightness. From that point on I was home free, and it is amazing how nice men are to me, open doors, saying hello, etc. Now I don't even think about it.
You make it sound simple, and I guess it is, basically. Simple, but we make it difficult for ourselves, or at least I do.

I have to keep in mind what Yoda said: "Do or do not. There is no try". ;)

Thanks!
Carol

[Byron]

I've gone out late at night a half dozen or so times years ago to places I knew no one would be around, a few state parks, a couple cemetaries. Always had my trench coat with me though for security just in case. A few cars passed me a couple times by the street, but otherwise no one ever saw me.

It was certainly exciting.

[Rogina B]

Hey Byron,You look good enough to not lurk around the graveyards at night in a trenchcoat!! You don't need to be so lonely!

[Natalee]

I often leave the house with my nails painted, just cause I don't want to bother stripping them; I don't necessarily flaunt them, but hiding your purple fingernails with pink-bubble gum sparkles is not possible when you must pay for things. Carry purchases, or hold a door open. Whether it be 7-11 or Ulta, most people and cashiers take an extended look (admiration??/jealousy?!), then continue with business politely without even a hint of sub-conscious judgement. It's a small adventure, and I'm a chicken; but these positive experiences are encouraging.

Going to a nail salon, with my wife, the nail-techs get a pretty good kick out painting a guy's toes with little flowers on them. My toes haven't been unpainted for longer than 15 minutes in over 2 years.

[Sara Jessica]

There's two messages in the original post. One is truly beneficial, the joy of not caring and feeling free to be as you wish.

However, there is an undercurrent that seems to be lost on many. Yes, we can present as we wish when out and about and not caring what anyone thinks makes life that much easier. But in an outfit like you describe, you are demanding attention...the wrong kind IMHO.


I said I'm more worried about the women they are more scrutinizing, men will never be able to tell.

I'm assuming you are presenting in such a way in absolute mainstream locations. Why is this a fair assumption? Because if you were presenting this way in TG-oriented and/or friendly environments, it wouldn't matter in the least bit anyways if you were perceived as a male. Therefore, in mainstream environments, it's fair to say that both women and men will scrutinize your look because it's not the norm for either gender. A natal women typically doesn't dress as you have described and if so, she would likely be young. It's like the proverbial car crash, everyone will look. If that is the attention you seek, knock yourself out.