How to look more feminine:

[*Kira*]

I need help with techniques to appear more feminine.

I got my ear pierced two days ago,
I shave everyday (whether I think I need it or not),
I use makeup very well to cover hair growth areas,
accentuate feminine facial features,
and mask masculine ones,
I have developed my own "socially acceptable" fashion style,
I accessorize very colorfully,
etc.

Any tips/suggestions/comments/questions?

[Melody Moore]

Hi Kira,
This is an usual way to introduce yourself here to the transsexual community, but anyway, welcome. :hugs:
You will find a wealth of information here, however there is little to no information about you in respect to
your transgender status. Are you on hormones & transitioning to live full-time as a female or part-time as a CD?

How old are you and are you currently under and doctors or therapists with regards to transitioning?
Do you have a photo? If you can tell us & share with us these things, this will give us a better idea
about you and therefore others will be able to better advise you on what other things can be addressed.

For someone that is not transitioning through hormones, most of what you have mentioned is a good start
for anyone feminising. However a couple of areas I would also like to suggest that you look at is eyebrow
thinning, electrolysis/laser therapy for facial hair because you will save a heap of money on concealer &
foundation, not to mention that it makes life easier not having to shave every day. I can get by now for
a few days without having to shave because of my facial hair removal treatments. This will improve as time
goes on. Have you grown your hair out? or are you still wearing wigs? Do you have any hair-loss issues?

I hope you don't mind that I am asking these few questions because it can really help us
understand you better and give you the best advice for what options are available to you.

[Saika]

Your mannerisms and the way you hold yourself can lend so much more to the way you appear, everything from how you sit to how you gesture to how you articulate your sentences in conversation will be noticeable. Delivery of appearance becomes an art in itself, fine tuning takes untold practice. Observe all woman in your environment and you can glean what is appealing for you to try yourself.

[wanagione]

I have to agree with amy here on this one, If you want to be more fem, practice acting more fem, with gestures, your choice of words, softness in your voice, and most importantly, were clothing that will make you blend in. ie don't were a cocktail dress to the mall to shop. Have fun! Amy,

[Nicki S]

In addition to the above suggestions, let your hair grow. Wearing a female style is very helpful.

[Katesback]

If all else fails you could pretend to be a Muslim woman and wear a berka. LOL

Katie

[JennyA]

I think flowing hand gestures are an important addition. Getting your eyebrows waxed and shaped will help. Moving quietly and gracefully will help too.

[Melody Moore]

Vocal feminisation is the most important aspect of feminisation. You
can look like a woman easily enough, but can you talk like a woman?

Your voice will out you more than anything else you do towards feminisation. I know some
trans-girls who have been on hormones for nearly 2 years and their voice hasn't changed.
So this really has to be worked on if you are transitioning to live full-time as a female.

[MsBette]

I actually met a woman some years ago who until she got her GRS wore a burka, in the Society for Creative Anachronism.
She didn't want anyone in the SCA to not know her as anything but female from day one of her membership.
Worked very well.
Though I wouldn't recommend it as public dress these days unless it is customary for your people to do so.

[Melody Moore]

I couldn't think of anything as least as feminine as a burka to recommend here. The burka is a symbol of oppression of women
in Islam, which is nothing but a male chauvinistic dominated religious ideology founded by insecure men in fear of other men
having any sort of appreciation for their wife or daughter's femininity. I don't think this is the type of feedback Kira is looking
for here going by what she has already told us. So how about we give her something more that she can really benefit from eh?

[*Kira*]

WOAH!! Obviously when I first posted this, I had no idea how to make it notifty me of updates... Anyhow:

Melody, I actually kicked myself and rushed to post an official introduction after I tossed this up first =P

As for my progress, I have had nothing done. No hormones, surgery, etc. With my financial condition and proximity of family in my life, it won't be for quite a while =/

I'm hesitant to state my age because of the connotations certain ages tend to hold; however, I -am- in a generally nonjudgmental environment here... I am 21 years old.

I have a photo now! ^_^ Here's another, since my avatar is more artsy than informal:
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/190451_203630249662701_100000471817954_812533_9968 20_n.jpg

With my hair, it's natural in the sense that I grew it, though I dye it, straighten/relax it, and use a glosser. With my limited styling options, I'm content with styling it more with a 'gay' angle than a feminine one.


Now that I covered the basics, let's see what else I missed ;D

[Melody Moore]

Well if you don't intend on transitioning I don't understand why you posted on the transsexual forum.
And I also think we have given you all the help we can give you. I don't think there is anymore really
to add. Except look on youtube for some feminisation & make-up tips is about all else I can suggest.

[*Kira*]

Well if you don't intend on transitioning I don't understand why you posted on the transsexual forum.
And I also think we have given you all the help we can give you. I don't think there is anymore really
to add. Except look on youtube for some feminisation & make-up tips is about all else I can suggest.

Who said I didn't intend on transitioning? I think it was more like "With my financial condition and proximity of family in my life, it won't be for quite a while =/"
I have indeed received a lot of help on this thread. Very grateful. Thanks, everyone! Melody, as you can see in my first sentence, I did not yet know how to keep on top of responses.

To help you understand, I posted on the transsexual forum because Merriam-Webster defines 'transsexual' as "a person who strongly identifies with the opposite sex and may seek to live as a member of this sex especially by undergoing surgery and hormone therapy to obtain the necessary physical appearance". Kind of sounds like me; thought I'd give it a try -_-'

[*Kira*]

I think flowing hand gestures are an important addition. Getting your eyebrows waxed and shaped will help. Moving quietly and gracefully will help too.

Thanks Jenny!

I actually bit my lip and decided to try getting my brows threaded about a month ago. What a wonderful decision! I love how they look!
I'm quite petite, which is a blessing in the 'quiet and graceful' department.

I appreciate the help =)

[*Kira*]

If all else fails you could pretend to be a Muslim woman and wear a berka. LOL

Katie

Hey Katie! I thought it was funny ;D lol

[*Kira*]

In addition to the above suggestions, let your hair grow. Wearing a female style is very helpful.

I naturally have very curly hair, and when it grows out, it *poofs* out >_<
Since I was young, I've always had a list of female role-models (Ellen DeGeneres, Sinéad O'Connor, Björk, etc). A good number of them had short hair, and I'd always loved short female cuts. I'm still trying to pinpoint exactly what I'd like to do with mine...

Thanks Nicki =)

[*Kira*]

Your mannerisms and the way you hold yourself can lend so much more to the way you appear, everything from how you sit to how you gesture to how you articulate your sentences in conversation will be noticeable. Delivery of appearance becomes an art in itself, fine tuning takes untold practice. Observe all woman in your environment and you can glean what is appealing for you to try yourself.


I have to agree with amy here on this one, If you want to be more fem, practice acting more fem, with gestures, your choice of words, softness in your voice, and most importantly, were clothing that will make you blend in. ie don't were a cocktail dress to the mall to shop. Have fun! Amy,

Amy, beautifully put... It's easy to see why all this is called 'the journey'. Observation of female mannerisms and behavior is quite simple for me from the standpoint that all of my friends happen to be female.

Wanagione - It's interesting that you'd mentioned word choice. I'm very into NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), and never really thought about applying what I know to this area of my life. I also have extensive experience in fashion, so picking out the right outfit is all part of the fun!

Thank you girls =D

[Haley Heather]

I naturally have very curly hair, and when it grows out, it *poofs* out >_<
Since I was young, I've always had a list of female role-models (Ellen DeGeneres, Sinéad O'Connor, Björk, etc). A good number of them had short hair, and I'd always loved short female cuts. I'm still trying to pinpoint exactly what I'd like to do with mine...

Thanks Nicki =)

There are some great styles for short feminine hair, look through the adrogenous, goth, and high fashion, should give you quite alot to consider, though such styles may not be suitable for your 'professional' requirements, so I don't know what to tell you there hun.:hugs:

[*Kira*]

There are some great styles for short feminine hair, look through the adrogenous, goth, and high fashion, should give you quite alot to consider, though such styles may not be suitable for your 'professional' requirements, so I don't know what to tell you there hun.:hugs:

Well, I cheat like a mofo with my hair. I use relaxer, and I'm a beast with industrial-strength hair 'concrete'. That being said, I don't consider myself to have really any physical limitations with short styles.
Since I do not currently have a solid style, I've been keeping sane by (I'm bullshitting terms, by the way) feathering my sideburns out, and gelling a few strands down to add a nice subtle effect.

[MsBette]

Melody, I was simply stating that I actually knew someone who did wear a Burka in the SCA.
The SCA is a medieval recreation society and that is the persona she chose. The social connotation of the garment had nothing to do with it, but thank you for the sociology lesson.

Now to you Kira and any actual advice rather than commentary, that I can offer you.

A lot of what I was going to say, has been said, voice, actions, walk, speech pattern.

I too have incredibly wavey, curly, frizzy hair, that never wants to be under control. I solved this with a wet to dry straightening iron.
The most I ever have to do in my case is lightly mist it with a bit of hairspray afterwards. I have fly aways due to a lot of new hair that has come in on HRT, that is extremely light in texture.
But it's a lot less chemical strain on my hair than when I relaxed it , and it adds more shine using the iron.
Just be sure to read the instructions on the iron. So many people don't and they damage their hair, or get zero results.

Makeup advice I would give, but that's based on your skin tone, though I do know soft colors like peaches and pinks, not over done do wonders on light skin tones to soften a face.
But this bit of I can give as sometimes it's never said, and after while becomes somewhat common sense over time to many transitioning.

Don't over do Makeup. I have met many girls just starting out who instead of being subtle and blending in, show up in a crowd like a neon sign.
So many new to doing female makeup( myself included the first month I started working on mine a couple years ago) either enhance the wrong features and make themselves look more masculine than they are( me again)
or end up looking like a bad drag queen that just stepped off a stage.
Having done makeup other than glamor for years, the trick to it is cover what needs to be hidden, and highlight what needs to be seen. A rule I forgot back when I started doing daily makeup.
In most cases less can be more.

Oh and skin...
Always take care of your skin, the softer, and more glowing your skin is the more feminine it looks.
Makeup can totally dry out your skin, so always moisturize.
If you look online there is plenty of advice posted everywhere, on good skin care regimens.

Great to see new people just asking questions rather than being afraid to ask after reading some of the threads on here.
Wishing you the best Kira..
Hugs
Beth

[*Kira*]

VERY much appreciated!! I've actually copy+paste+save'd this response for future reference. Thank you for taking the time to help out =D