I need to share this !

[Jannine]

Hello Ladies,

I am a new member and recently my partner discovered that I was sneaking onto this site, so consequently that developed into a chaotic situation to say the least. After another argument, we were both yelling and crying, talking and not talking until early in the morning. We tried to reason why I do what I do, and why was life a bitch for both of us. We had a sleepless night and had a terrible day after. I felt as if I had died in my sleep.
I have been dressing for years, but always behind her back. I have treated her badly for all of our marriage. This has been such an uncontrolable thing in my life since my teens, and always after I had been discovered dressing I would dispose of all my pretty things and I would suffer periods of anger, denial and self doubt, but take my anger out on her and the kids.

However, to cut a long story short, and to my great relief, (after lots of tears from both of us) we have been able to talk about all of this, and maybe to reach a compromise, for the first time. We have spent the day together, shopping and joking about what I should wear !! What a turnaround.
A gigantic weight has been lifted from me; I can't describe the feeling of relief that I feel, after those long years, I have been able to talk and discuss more or less freely with another human being about something that has been lurking in the shadows for most of my life.

Now I'm so happy !! The more I think about this, the more I am convinced that our lives will turn around, -for the better- and no longer will I have to lie about my double life.

Cheers Girls,

Jannine. X :heehee: :D:D :daydreaming:

[BethCD]

Jannine,
I had a similar experience about 1 month after we marries where she came home early and caught me in her skirt and top and bra. We dsat down and had the talk.........She was more angry that I didn't tell her, but in 1978 I thought I was the only CD on Earth...She was understanding, I lucked out massively, and have taken respectful baby steps since. Go slowly, keep her informed. Best of luck.
Beth

[april_lynn]

I had a similar time with my wife after coming out to her 6 weeks ago, which led me to this site. What helped me was that she noticed right away that I was more kind and loving with this out in the open. Lately other stressors have made me a little bit more moody (pms?) which brought another long talk, which I suppose is the real key to what I hope to do: keep open lines of communication and share feelings, needs, and desires. Just last night my wife asked if I knew how to shave my legs b/c she wanted to show me how. Tonight I plan on making her feel like a pampered princess to repay her for her making me feel like one last night. Good luck. I hope we both continue to foster acceptance with our partners one small step at a time.

Hugs,
April

[girl_in_pantyhose]

I am so proud of you Jannine for your willingness to confront this not as a problem but rather a new and exciting addition to your life! I have no idea what it is but when I get dressed up I am in a very peaceful place. I remember when I told my girlfriend about my little secret. There were quite a few arguments on that topic. She came around, eventually. Best wishes!
Jess

[Byron]

Thanks for sharing Jannine.

[sissystephanie]

Jannine, you are a very lucky "lady!" Thank goodness you were able to talk it out and reach a compromise. Your story is why I have repeatedly said that a CD should reveal his crossdressing before marriage, not get caught afterward! I told my late wife when I proposed to her, and we had a very enjoable almost 50 years together. She always did Stephanie's makeup and fixed my wig before I went out. We were husband and wife, but also best girlfriends!! The Best of Luck to you and yours!!

[kimdl93]

Janine, I'm glad you were able to work through this and reach a point where you can talk and even joke...and most of all no longer hide! I know there are likely to be more ups and downs, but you're on the path home!

[Tanya83]

Good for you! It's nice to hear about happy endings. :-)

[Inna]

How wonderful the news, acceptance the most basic of our needs. Be wholesome and cherish your wife and kids, live truth and embrace love, what else can we ask for :)

[BRANDYJ]

Jannine, I am very happy for you! I can only imagine the stress of hiding something so big in our lives from a loved one. Couple that with the need to dress and not being able to because of living with someone that we fear will leave us or otherwise cause us more pain then the need to dress causes us. Now that it's in the open and it seems your wife is willing to accept, the burden is lifted. Now is the time to express to her how much you love her and cherish her for loving you enough to have put up with your taking things out on her. I'm sure you have apologized in a very sincere way. It's amazing what love can... and will make us, or let us accept. I wish you nothing but the best for the rest of your life since now you have paved the path to be closer then you have ever been. Sounds like a very special bond.

[ikthys]

I remember when I first shared with my wife of 1 year the fact that I HAD crossdressed. I had led up to it at length (mostly out of fear of actually saying it and with an absolutely horrifying "what the _ am I doing?" feeling) and when I finally said it she simply said- that makes sense. It's ok. I bawled hard- convulsing and howling with snot pouring outa my face and with a feeling in my gut and throat like I was vomitting a life of secrecy and shame out of me. I could hardly breath it was so much stored up emotional pain being expressed at once. It was intense... Then, when I shared that I still DID, she broke down pretty bad and things did not go so well for a while. (If your interested in the rest of the story, you can message me). I just wanted to say I relate to your relief from holding it in from your wife. I pray you truly will have a better life going forward.

[barbara gordon]

Jannine, I am happy for your relief in getting around a difficult corner. I hope that things do improve for you in your marriage . I have not revealed my other self to my wife of 15 years . this is a miserable way to be ,but I have not yet had the nerve to go into what I think would be a devastating conversation . I am constantly frustrated by this , and I know that my secret causes trouble in my marriage . Never told her staight out-I have given only the most subtle hints over the years , which have all been dismissed as just funny comments . I have never been caught , or had my hidden girlstuff unstashed . I am curious to know what happened before "thisTime" of being caught . How did your wife or any one else act act when they "caught" you before .

[prene]

great story and good luck.

[Kathryn Philips]

... recently my partner discovered that I was sneaking onto this site, so consequently that developed into a chaotic situation to say the least. After another argument, we were both yelling and crying, talking and not talking until early in the morning. We tried to reason why I do what I do, and why was life a bitch for both of us. We had a sleepless night and had a terrible day after. I felt as if I had died in my sleep.
I have been dressing for years, but always behind her back. I have treated her badly for all of our marriage. This has been such an uncontrolable thing in my life since my teens, and always after I had been discovered dressing I would dispose of all my pretty things and I would suffer periods of anger, denial and self doubt, but take my anger out on her and the kids.

The portion of text I have quoted pretty much describes what happened to me when I came out of my wife. But unlike you my wife will never accept or allow me to dress. I know this because I did not dress for 3 years after coming out and during that period she frequently made terrible remarks about me having been CD. I have now started secretly dressing again.

You are very lucky having an accepting wife.

[prettytoes]

I have to aggree 100%! Since my wife discovered a few weeks ago (we went through all the same stuff you did!), our relationship has grown incredibly stronger. She is still trying to understand, but she sees how happy I have been now that I can wear satin panties, and paint my toenails, among other things. There are still a few boundries, which I am happy to honor; but I feel these will ease as time goes on. She washes all my clothes with everything else as if it's nothing. I found out what a great woman she really is. I help out more around the house, and I am much more considerate of her feelings in all matters. (must be the panties! lol). I hope that she does like April's wife and teaches me how to shave my legs...although I may wait until fall for that. She is accepting, but still not quite ready to participate. I can't wait until she comes home with a nice girly surprise for me! I'm glad everything worked out for you as well as it has been for me! I will definately read these posts for my wonderful wife! Good luck!

[Eryn]

I have been dressing for years, but always behind her back. I have treated her badly for all of our marriage....to my great relief, (after lots of tears from both of us) we have been able to talk about all of this, and maybe to reach a compromise, for the first time. We have spent the day together, shopping and joking about what I should wear!!....Now I'm so happy !! The more I think about this, the more I am convinced that our lives will turn around, -for the better.

I'm so happy to hear that things are going so well for you and you're now able to do a few of the things that you've always wanted.

Stop a moment, however, and think about what is in it for your spouse. She's made some sacrifices to accommodate your desires and you should do the same for her, and I don't mean letting her borrow your new clothes! Is there something special that you can do for her and show that the changes in your relationship are more than a 1-way street?