Need encouragement!

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Well ladies came clean with my wife tonight about being transgender. We were out without our daughter for the first time in a long time. So we got to were we were going and while were in the car and we talked. I told her I had to let her know about the one secret I have not let anyone know about except my therapist.

I told her how much I loved her took a very nervous breath and began to tell her my story. How since I was about 5 that there was always something wrong with me in the fact that I was in the wrong body. I told her that I was a woman in a mans body, but that is not the worst of it..

For years I have been trying to hurt myself. My wife asked how was I trying to hurt myself. It was not suicide, but hundreds and hundreds of times trying to castrate myself just never followed through with it. Even in my sleep I will wake up trying to rip them both off! I don't even feel it any more since it happens so much. All I want is to be the woman I have longed to be all my life, instead of the man I was forced to become.
I had a vasectomy in 1993 and fell asleep like a rock during the whole thing, the doctor on all his years never had someone do that. Told him if he slipped with the knife I would not complain. We talked for awhile then walk around the mall for some time. She was very understanding and love trying to comprehend all of it. By the time we got home she was in tears. I have her permission to talk to her parents. They talked on the phone for almost an hour. She finally was able to go to bed, I will head there soon myself. I am emotionally drained but very at ease for now.

Hugs too all of you ladies!

[Persephone]

Good luck, Trisha. Remember, even though it is difficult to believe, right now this is harder on your wife than it is on you. Be as honest, open, and as supportive as possible. If you really love each other you will get through this.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Cynthia Anne]

Wow it could of been a lot worse if she hadn't excepted it! BE THANKFUL she did! Now that you were honest with her, remember to consider her and her thoughts in all decisions! Hoping you the best! Hugs!

[Angiemead12]

Your very lucky she is understanding as Im sure she is still making sense of everything. I wish you luck with the parents talk soon!

[Jeanna]

Understanding? She is probably in shock and hasn't totally processed it all yet.She had a husband and now.... Can you imagine what is running through her mind right now? Put yourself in her shoes (you probably have:) )seriously though, support her as she is going to need it. You will have to do a lot of careful listening. Let her know that she and your daughter are safe and that you love them. Life as you know has changed for all of you and you may have to accept that you may not be in her future plans..Sorry that you had to tell her, proud that you did.
Jeanna

[Maria in heels]

I am sure that you have been thinking about this for a long time and feel somewhat relieved that you told your wife. Please remember that you have had this feeling inside you since you were five years old, but she just started with this feeling. Her mind must be racing at a million miles an hour and you must give her time. You may not get the loves and support from her right away, you may never get it. Try to remember that her world has been turned upside down, and even if you said forget about it, she never can,,,it will always be in the back of your mind...

[Sandra]

Glad that you told her....Now just take it easy with her, be prepared for a lot of questions answer as honestly as you can because if you lie it will catch up with you later. Keep the lines of communication open and listen to her worries/concerns.

You may like to suggest this forum and tell her that there is a forum (FAB) here just for wives/partners. It is private and we support and help each other.

[kimdl93]

wow, that was a heavy load for both of you. I hop you can find a path forward that can work for the two of you together.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Thank you Ladies for all your support!

Today has been a teary one for both of use. Her trying to understand and me sad for putting her through this. I am relieved that Thrisa is finaly out of her prison. I feel my wifes emotional pain and I hurt too. I have been holding her and loving on her. Will keep you posted.

Hugs!!!

[Christy_M]

My heart goes out to you and your wife. I know it must be incredibly hard for her to find this out just as my wife found out after we had been married for a while. You may want to get a couples counsellor who has experience with these sorts of things. Like others have said, there is support here for both of you, too.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Ladies!

Well things have been very rocky. I was told no way can you be a woman or I,m leaving with our daughter. She is right now living with her mom and dad with our daughter. I have cried for days in emotional pain over this. We are trying to work through this, we have talked and she is trying her best to understand. I have had to meet with our pastor and that went well, but I don't think he can ever comprehend how or what I am going through. I do feel relieved that everything is out in the open, it will take a lot of time to heal on both our parts. Trisha can not go back now that she is out, but she will not be allowed to strut her stuff. Trisha will help in how feel as a person and how I view the world, along with others. I will keep all of you ladies posted on how things are going.

Hugs

[Julogden]

Hi Trisha,

Hang in there! I hope that your marriage issues resolve in a manner that causes as little pain as possible for you and your family.

Carol :hugs:

[gwenbeth]

Trisha,
its probably going to be bad a while. All the problems that your marriage has are going to seem much worse. As much as you are going through unleashing this side of you, your wife is going through just as much maybe more because while you have had a long time to come to grips with yourself she has not had that much time. But the two of you will need to make a decision as to which path to take.

[ashlylynn]

How about we tell the wife that we'll be a man and take care of her and daughter until daughter is 18
and then we'll revisit the sexuality issue - not much longer to go now - and ask how she feels about that.

You held yourself out to be a man and that is why she married you and wanted to have your child.
Live up to your oath - that's all she wants assurance about, really.

[Comet]

I'm sorry your situation has degraded to this point. I hope you can keep the lines of communication open, because that is the only way it can get better. Our thoughts are with you.


How about we tell the wife that we'll be a man and take care of her and daughter until daughter is 18
and then we'll revisit the sexuality issue - not much longer to go now - and ask how she feels about that.

You held yourself out to be a man and that is why she married you and wanted to have your child.
Live up to your oath - that's all she wants assurance about, really.
I like this idea ... compromise and communication can go a long way.