Why do I want to be a woman?

[ikthys]

I don't mean transitioning/srs. I don't even mean "all things considered". What I mean is, assuming for a moment that you have felt at any moment the desire to be (whether forever or for just a moment) a woman, why do you think you felt that desire? I do not intend for this to become a discussion about whether all crossdressers fell a certain way or not. If you haven't ever or don't feel this desire ever, then please don't feel you need to respond to let me know that or to let me know the reasons you crossdress, etc. An example response that has understood my question would be like this (and this is one of my actual answers):

"I sometimes want to be a woman because I want to use a woman as an object (to look and and enjoy sexually) and I can't/won't actually do that, so I use myself."

How about you?

[Haley Heather]

Because I want to believe in the beauty of things.

[AnnaCalliope]

Because I derive no sexual pleasure from this (mostly) useless hunk of flesh that hangs between my thighs...

[Rianna Humble]

Because it is only my body that doesn't know that I am a woman

[Comet]

For me, there are two reasons I can think of ....

I think the female body is the perfection of the human form. The male body is "form follows function." The female body has such beautiful curves. Sometimes I'd like to have that beauty myself.

Secondly, I think another reason might be that I'm missing out on half of the human experience. It can be a whole different world from another perspective.

[gaylegirlify]

:battingeyelashes:For me i believe i like being like a women because they have beautiful curves, softest of skin and a gentleness also my brain thinks in a feminine way so i cannot help but wish to be like a woman as my mind is wanting this, guess its been siad before a womans mind in a mans body, it can be torturous at times trying to understand this myself let alone a GG

[Nigella]

Being a woman is not about taking those little bits that you perceive to be "feminine, desirable or even an object of desire" it is about you the person and how you feel, I don't want to be a woman, despite natures cruel mistake, I am a woman.

[Laura'sCloud]

Because i have always thought and acted like a Girl and would like my apperance to reflect my true self

[noeleena]

Hi.

I am a woman, so , i dont need to wont to be a woman & those of us who are ,,we are all still different & to be a woman you need to grow as one.

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

I used to think I wanted to be a woman but then I realized what I really wanted was to be myself. There is a difference.:)

[girlfan]

I want to be a woman because I want to fell like a feminine person ,I want to be smooth and soft between my legs,I want my pantyhose to fit,I want hips and a nicely shaped bum,I want to have to wear a bra for support,I want to be without muscle or aggression or testes,I want to be able to wear a dress or skirt with my nylon covered legs showing every day with my painted toenails in nylon in my ballet flats or heels,I want makeup and perfume and hours under the dryer at the stylists,I want acrylic nails and dangly earrings ,I want to be a house wife to another woman .

[KrystalA]

Yes, there have been times when I've wished I had female "equipment" for just a day or two, just to really know what it feels like to be a woman. I know what it feels like to feel "girly", but that's a whole different thing. I feel "girly" most of the time because I wear satin panties all the time, and bras most of the time. I just happen to love feeling this way. Why? If I had a dollar for every time I've asked myself that question, I'd be a very wealthy person.

[*Andrea*]

Different reasons:
- Sexual gratification: by creating that woman in like and enjoying her any time I like. *This is how everything started.
- Beauty: *wanting to be the most beautiful person I can. The ultimate beauty for me is a woman.
- Fun: *trying to be that beautiful person implies two processes that I started to enjoy as i progressed in crossdressing: the process of building and growing a wardrobe (i.e. Shopping), and the process of getting dressed (here i think it is more the feeiling of thrill and danger, plus the gratification of a job well done when i look myself in mirror)

[Diane Elizabeth]

Because I have always had this feeling in me all my life that something wasn't right about me. And in the short story I discovered that it was finding "me" which turns out to be a woman.

[Rogina B]

Girls can do everything boys can do and a whole lot more! And yes,some can even write their name in the snow! lol I know that I can never be a girl,so I'll enjoy playing the easy part of their wide ranging role.I am so very tired of the way boys are "measured" today."did he get it done?"or"did he make it happen?" or "what is he bringing to the table?". Women are "measured" in a whole lot better way.."she is such a nice person" "wow,is she creative!","she is so sweet!". I just want to be me and try to blend the softer parts together yet keep them firm enough to get by in today's hard world.

[Cynthia Anne]

It would be nice if my body match my mind! Than I'd be whole!

[ikthys]

For me, there are two reasons I can think of ....

I think the female body is the perfection of the human form. The male body is "form follows function."

You may be surprised to find out womens' response to this perception. I was.


I want to be a woman because I want to fell like a feminine person ,I want to be smooth and soft between my legs,I want my pantyhose to fit,I want hips and a nicely shaped bum,I want to have to wear a bra for support,I want to be without muscle or aggression or testes,I want to be able to wear a dress or skirt with my nylon covered legs showing every day with my painted toenails in nylon in my ballet flats or heels,I want makeup and perfume and hours under the dryer at the stylists,I want acrylic nails and dangly earrings ,I want to be a house wife to another woman .

So, could I break this down into the following reasons:
1. Because it would be more pure than crossdressing.
2. Because I like the beauty of their bodies.
3. Because I just like their clothes, accessories, etc.
4. Because I don't like the aggressive male role.
5. Because I want to play the house wife role.


I used to think I wanted to be a woman but then I realized what I really wanted was to be myself. There is a difference.:)

Do you mean to say that your ARE a woman, or that who you are is best expressed the way women express themselves?

[StaceyJane]

I want to be a woman because it has always felt like the right thing for me.

[TGMarla]

Although I enjoy a lot of "guy" things, like golf and football, I am still very drawn to the softer, more aesthetic things in life. And as a man, I miss out on some things that women do, things I can't readily be a part of. For instance, my wife just went to brunch with her girlfriends. And while the guys do get to gether for beers and stuff, we don't do brunch. Add to that the fact that I really enjoy many, if not most, of the things that make up the feminine experience I get when I crossdress: the long hair, the pretty jewelry, the dresses, high heels, hosiery, lacy slips, the fingernails and makeup....It makes me wish I'd have been born female. Granted, being a woman isn't all lacy underwear and dresses, but at least it's an option for them, should they choose to indulge in it. And I'd like to experience sex as a woman, which doesn't mean having a man take me while I'm crossdressed. It means as a woman, vaginally. Women get to experience life as women, and we as men miss out on the whole thing. So taking each as it is, would I give up one for the other? If given the choice, I'd have opted for the female existence over the male one. I got the male one. So sometimes I really wish I'd have gotten the other one.

[Kate Simmons]

Do you mean to say that your ARE a woman, or that who you are is best expressed the way women express themselves?What I mean is I'm no longer playing the gender "game" and am just myself as a person. How I present myself at any given time is totally my choice. This is one reason why I'm moving on with my life and moving forward.:)

[Debra Russell]

I have often told my wife I wish could trade places with her for a few days! She said be careful what you wish for! I remember a couple years ago before I started dressing and going out -- driving my 'vett with the top off and seeing good looking women on the road and shouting (no one was within ear shot) I wish I were a woman! I now go out dressed and drive my 'vett and go anywhere and it relieves some of the frustration but overall I just admirer women in general however; I am a woosey and like my wife alluded to I don't want the down side of what women have to go through, I guess I am still a man first that loves women and their ways--------Debra

[Nicole L.]

I've never been sure why I feel as I do. I've alway's wished that I had born female. I know that I'll never be one. But that won't stop me from being as close to one as I can get. I really don't consider myself either gender. I'm just ME! Trying to enjoy the best of both world's. I don't know how else to answer your question. Nicole

[ikthys]

Add to that the fact that I really enjoy many, if not most, of the things that make up the feminine experience I get when I crossdress: the long hair, the pretty jewelry, the dresses, high heels, hosiery, lacy slips, the fingernails and makeup....It makes me wish I'd have been born female

Do you think, in this context, that you like the clothes because they make you feel like a woman or that you would like to be a woman because you just like those clothes for themselves?


but overall I just admirer women in general however

Me too! For me this forms a raw obsession that makes me want to emulate- to join!

[Eryn]

Life experience can be likened to a department store. 70% is exclusive to females, 20% to males, and 10% to both. I want to experience the whole store.

[ikthys]

I want to be a woman because it has always felt like the right thing for me.

If I may press the issue, what exactly has felt right about it?


How I present myself at any given time is totally my choice.

Why do you think you would like to present yourself (from time to time at least) like a woman? What is it about the presentation of womanhood that draws you to it?

[dawnmarrie1961]

I don't want to be a "Woman". Not the way the world defines a woman to be. I don't want to be a object, a victim, be submissive or a host of other items associated with the present condition of a gender, which in itself still needs a lot of work. I just want to come out as "myself" on the other end of this meat grinder we call life.No unrealistic expectations. Just "Me."
That I can live with.

[StaceyJane]

If I may press the issue, what exactly has felt right about it?

I can't really describe it but everything that I have done toward transitioning has felt like the right thing to do for me.
It's something I feel in my heart.

[ikthys]

I don't want to be a "Woman". Not the way the world defines a woman to be.

If the question was "why do you want (sometimes at least) to be a woman (temporarily at least) in your sense of being a woman?" how would you answer?

[Debra Jane]

"If I may press the issue, what exactly has felt right about it?"

From my point of view...

It feels right because of the inate feeling that it is how I should have been born. I often ask myself why do I feel like this, other men don't even think about stuff like this they just live their lives fat dumb and happy about their gender.

From my earliest recollection, say, around the age of 2 years I knew that I should have been a girl. I wanted to correct this great mistake that God had made, I prayed every night that I would wake up in the morning and find that I had changed. Ever since then it has been on my mind every day, I started dressing at age 10 and now wish that I'd had the guts to confront my mother about srs before I hit puberty, but it was the early 1960's and I was afraid of the reaction.

Playing the male role is hard when it is not the real you. I spent a lot of time abusing alcohol, being cranky and miserable as well as hating myself because I was not a woman. So now after playing the stereotypical male role for all of my life I have retired and can be me every day, and at the encouragement of my wife I might add. She say's that she prefers me to be in female mode because I am a different person, more settled/centered and much easier to live with.

[dawnmarrie1961]

If the question was "why do you want (sometimes at least) to be a woman (temporarily at least) in your sense of being a woman?" how would you answer?

Then I would say , in my sense of what a woman should be, that being such a person is the only way that I can truly exist. Their is no other alternative but to be "myself". Anything short of that would be living a lie. Which I ,in good conscience, can not do .

[ikthys]

"If I may press the issue, what exactly has felt right about it?"

From my point of view...

It feels right because of the inate feeling that it is how I should have been born.
Playing the male role is hard when it is not the real you.

What is it about the female role that you relate to so much more?


Then I would say , in my sense of what a woman should be, that being such a person is the only way that I can truly exist.

Sorry to nag- but it would help if you could describe what "such a person" is that you feel like you wholly identify with.

[Debra Jane]

It's the feeling, knowing and understanding of things.

When I compare myself to other men & women I can see exactly where I fit, almost invariably I have the same feelings about and reactions to things that the women around me have. There is a connection that women have with each other that is purely cerebral, I seem to be able to tune into it. Although I am obviously male women talk to me on woman to woman level and some have told me that I'd make a good girlfriend, "are you sure you are not a woman".

Women role play, they have differing persona's depending on the company they are in and they don't often show males that intrinsic woman side. I love it, although I am externally a "man's man" which seems to sit well with my male friends my female relatives & friends can see right thru it, lol.

[Tanya83]

To fill a deep emotional void of not having the nurturing love that only a mother can give.
Or perhaps it just plain feels good?

[sabrinaedwards]

Tonight I am dressed head to toe as a women. If someone asked me at this moment in ime if I wantedto be a women, I would say yes! I feel so incredbly feminine right now. I feel so blessed, that I can feel this way.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Sorry to nag- but it would help if you could describe what "such a person" is that you feel like you wholly identify with. Such a person that I currently am, or at least am trying to be. My idea of what a woman should be, strong ,determined,confident, honest and empathetic to others. Physically capable of taking care of herself but not to proud to ask for help if needed. Not arrogant and self centered, which I was in the past, but willing to admit that I am inadequate and imperfect. I don't want to aspire to conform to the unrealistic Barbie doll image, of which I admit from time to time I'm guilty of pursuing in form and figure. I just want to be the best me that I can be.
Does that make any sense? Does that adequately answer your question?

[ikthys]

To fill a deep emotional void of not having the nurturing love that only a mother can give.
Or perhaps it just plain feels good?

I can deeply relate to both reasons, as well as the sarcasm of not wanting to really go there :).


Does that make any sense? Does that adequately answer your question?

That is SO helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time and giving the energy! :)


I feel so incredbly feminine right now. I feel so blessed, that I can feel this way.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I long to be feminine so that I can be more like a woman (with other reasons for wanting to be a woman) or if I long to be a woman so I can be feminine (which has more to do with a truncated view of femininity).

[dawnmarrie1961]

That is SO helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time and giving the energy! :)

ENERGY is one department that I'm never lacking in. I have too much of it. Sometimes I wish I could be like everybody else and did not feel the need to physically push myself to the limit like I do. I guess I like the high it gives me. The only good high is an adrenaline high!

[sterling12]

To paraphrase Nietze: "I exist, therefore I am Transgendered!"

I think that just about covers it.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

For me, a woman has more choices now days and they have so much potential to be themselves. They have more choice in clothes and fashion than a male. They can be in a powerful position yet at home they can also be a little girl. They can be loving yet demanding, and above all, most males always obey their mom. I was looking at the TV on the weekend and a special about some old photos of Aussie diggers in world war 1 were found. Interesting to see a group of soldiers holding up a sign saying "We want our mummies".

[Sue101]

I am drawn to the notion of being a woman largely because I value social contact more than making money, aesthetics more than winning first prize, kindness and compassion more than aggression and hardness. I cannot be the person I want to be because I am forced to be something else due to my physical sex. I dont actually want to be a woman but the idea can be sublime. I get to escape from the male prison and spend my time enjoying aspects of life forbidden to me.

I disagree with the notion that this is a man's world. That only makes sense if you value money and power over friendship and community. The real power lies with women, always has been because they get to enjoy the best and most important things in life, things which connect with your soul and tickle your senses. A man's life is banal in comparison.

[Stephenie S]

I can't imagine ANYONE not wanting to be a woman. It's so rewarding and just plain fun. I wouldn't switch for a minute.


Stephie

[Kate Simmons]

There is a certain strength of character that goes along with womanhood my friend. It helps to look at both sides when seeking to become a full spectrum person.:)

[Inna]

I was born a woman, no, not the one with soft, glowing skin, sensual curvature, long lashes framing deep blue eyes, no, not that one, but chunky, smelly, hairy where hair was not suppose to grow, thick and swetty but underneath this mass of flesh the girl was born into this world. Sensuous, soft, shy, frivolous, wholesome and eager to embrace it with love. One day she learned that everybody called her by boys name, wanted to play boys games, and train in the art of war and revenge. So she did, really had no choice, not then. Once in a while she put on a pretty dress and imagined life was different, happier, fuller, but those moments lasted only a short while and she always put the dress away. She could only feel her self in those moments, true, loving, caring, unmistakable.

[GirlieAmanda]

You know, at first it was to make myself into my idea of a perfect woman like was stated here before. I was shy so I had trouble with women. But I was shy because I was experiencing budding feelings of femininity. I just did not fully understand it then. Now I have come to grips with myself for the most part and what it has become now is...I just want my external looks to match the being inside. The being inside is female and she wants to dress and feel things like other females on this earth do.

[ikthys]

I was experiencing budding feelings of femininity.

This really touches on a strong point for me. It seems that, almost regardless of how crossdressing gets its start in our lives, it seals us into it by virtue of the fact that we inevitably related our self identity to what we do. "If I'm wearing panties, I must be at least a little girly". Then, this "flowers" (to borrow your metaphor) into a sense of NEEDING to cross into expressing womanhood just to let that part of us live and not feel like part of us is dead or dying or stifled or suffering, all the while we are identifying further and further with womanhood and simultaneously moving further and further from the core reason why we ever identified with it in the first place! I'm trying to pry and see if I can't discover a more "original" sense or urge or reason for desiring womanhood other than the fact that I already kinda feel like part woman (I know some feel this in totality, but I don't) in bare fact (not just in role or temperment)... Thanks everyone for so many keen introspective insights!

[Billie Jean]

I used to think I wanted to be a woman but then I realized what I really wanted was to be myself. There is a difference.:)That and when I'm enfemme I feel more emotion and alive. But I like yo be a guy also. Billie Jean

[Sue101]

all the while we are identifying further and further with womanhood and simultaneously moving further and further from the core reason why we ever identified with it in the first place! That speaks volumes to me! I am on a quest to try and recapture the feelings and reasons why I started crossdressing in the first place. I have come to realize my behavior has morphed over time into something that is completely different from my starting point. When I started dressing, the idea that I would ever be attracted to the idea of wanting to become a girl was defininitely not on the cards. Like most young boys I thought girls were irrelevant and stupid and not worth my time. I did not connect with them at all.

For me, my crossdressing origins addressed internal feelings related to growing up. I wanted to remain a mommy's boy, I liked things which were sweet and soft, I wanted to cry and wanted to show kindness to others. I did not like the competition or brutality of manhood. This is about being true to myself, hanging on to things which I liked and enjoyed yet I was being told I had to give them up in order to become a man. It marks a struggle within me over gender roles, not gender identity. I never had an problem about who I was, the problem was how would I fit into a world that did not want me to be me.

[sometimes_miss]

There are many reasons why I feel the desire to be female. I won't go into it all here; if you're interested in the psychological mechanisms at work, you can read my bio. See the link in my sig below.

[beth_30]

I get myself to sleep with the wish that I'll wake up as a woman and I think of what I'd do if this wish came true. I don't think I'd be as composed as I am in my fantasy though :)

Why do I want to be a woman? I love the fashion, the feel of the clothes. More than that, I like feeling 'feminine' - difficult feeling to describe; we all have our own definitions, I think. I love spending time on my appearance - applying make-up, doing my nails, luxuriating in the bathroom with some good products. I'd really like, when I'm out to be 'checked out' - catching someone getting a good look at my rack or legs...

However, as I think about it I'm not sure if I want to give myself totally over to being a woman. I really like the physicality and brutality of sports and as much as I enjoy indulging myself when it comes to getting pretty, I do appreciate being able to just get up and go when I have to.

I read about a Japanese cartoon from a few years ago where the hero was able to change from boy to girl if he got wet (not sure about this detail though). I think that'd be the life for me :)

[Stephenie S]

Why do I want to be a girl?

Doesn't everybody?

[kate473]

Sometimes I want to be naughty. Maybe I'll get caught. Maybe not. Maybe I'll turn heads--doesn't matter if it's because I'm hot or merely not passing.

[Gocaps14]

Because a vagina is the most powerful thing in the world.

[BreenaDion]

My Brain is making me do it, or the refusal is not an option any more. I did concider the options.
1 Suicide
2 Permanent Hospitalization
3 I dont have strenght to resist, because I have a survivors Brain.
4 I just did what my brain is showing me.
4a Part of me is euphgoric and other part is suicidial.
4b I choice to live.
5 I am transitioning and Im not proud of it, I just dont want to Die.
Breena. thats why I have to be a woman.
I was a cd for 50 yrs I spent 6 yrs in here as another identity. I am the unique one.

[suchacutie]

Why do I want to "be" a woman. The problem with the question is that I know I can't "be" a woman. But, I can present as a woman, and I can be feminine.

So, why do I want to do this? Heck, why do I put myself through all this? It must be compelling as heck! And it is:

Five years ago my wife and I suddenly realized that part of me is wired as a woman, and that this part of me has had a profound affect on my life and continues to do so. With that realization, I MUST know who she is. We quickly came to the conclusion that to know who she is we had to give her life. Thus, after a few very naive attempts Tina was born and it really works! We let Tina live her own life as much as we can, and it's ever more! It is amazing what happens when she is
"on her own", unfettered by my male self. It is a fascinating adventure and I'm sure it's far from over, if over it will ever be. Thankfully, we both like Tina a lot!

:)

[ikthys]

Sometimes I want to be naughty. Maybe I'll get caught. Maybe not.

I've definitely felt that rush. I wonder if that rush merely intensifies the feelings of gratification I have for other reasons, or if they constitute an entirely separate and independent motivation. Since I don't tend to be a "thrill seeker" in other ways (though I do enjoy a good adrenaline rush- rollercoaster, skydive, etc.), I have accepted it as the former for me.

[KINGFISHER]

I guess I want to be my idealized female, got a long way to go, and my wife wholeheartedly agrees with that! Well it's a great journey and though dificult at times is a whole lot of fun.

[VioletJourney]

For me, I'd say it's to see the world from a whole new perspective, to experience life from the other side.

[SarahMarie42]

I read about a Japanese cartoon from a few years ago where the hero was able to change from boy to girl if he got wet (not sure about this detail though). I think that'd be the life for me :) I LOVE RANMA 1/2! Of course I WOULD. x]

[Mistybtm]

For me, there are two reasons I can think of ....

I think the female body is the perfection of the human form. The male body is "form follows function." The female body has such beautiful curves. Sometimes I'd like to have that beauty myself.

Secondly, I think another reason might be that I'm missing out on half of the human experience. It can be a whole different world from another perspective.

Very well put, I feel the same.

[Josey]

I too follow "Whitt's" response. Women have such physical attributes its imposible for me not to be envious. In addition they are more sensitive and caring than the males around them. You just to love 'em.

[Avana]

"I sometimes want to be a woman because I want to use a woman as an object (to look and and enjoy sexually) and I can't/won't actually do that, so I use myself."

Seriously? Don't ever tell this to a woman... this post is borderline frightening.

Attitudes like this are the reasons feminists like Janice Raymond can write:


"All transsexuals rape women's bodies by reducing the real female form to an artifact, appropriating this body for themselves .... Transsexuals merely cut off the most obvious means of invading women, so that they seem non-invasive."

[CarlaWestin]

I'll go back to the original rational that I framed nearly 45 years ago. I simply decided to occasionally become the female that I wanted to be with. I'ts really that simple.

[Christine1971]

I can't truly say that I want to be a women but I would love to be a proper one for a couple of days just to really see how the other half lives :)

I like dressing as a women because mens clothes can be so boring, underwear is always the same for men, and our outer clothes always seem to be the same old thing, women get plenty more styles and looks, patterns etc.

Chris

[charlie]

I often want to be a woman because I so enjoy dressing up, going out and being treated like a woman. I enjoy the clothes, the new rituals and feeling pretty.

[ikthys]

Seriously? Don't ever tell this to a woman... this post is borderline frightening.

Attitudes like this are the reasons feminists like Janice Raymond can write:

Well I would argue that the HUMUNGOUS difference between what I allow in my psyche and rape is the willingness of the "woman". Dressed up, I allowed myself to use myself. It's not at all as if I desire to use a woman against their will. Objectification does not mean that at all. I'm just honest enough to say what so many men in our culture live out- a desire to have a woman be an simply an object for our pleasure (willingly, even happily). It is a warped fantasy in my opinion, and I don't actually want to let myself act that way toward another person, but this leads to the desire to become the woman of that fanatasy in order to fulfil it for myself without even being guilty of objectification of another person (and CERTAINLY not of rape!).

[Kendra Sue]

I am torn... I enjoy guy things but I have a soft demure feminine side that gets to enjoy pretty clothes and makeup. Women get to have multiple orgasms whiles guys are limited. If I died and came back it would be as a woman. Women's clothes are much more attractive than mens. Girdles, panties and night gown are my three favorite items of women's apparel

[ginafaye]

i think just the joy of choices, clothes ..friends kids careers..with men its always some sort of competion, my cars faster, i make more money ,my jobs better ,mines bigger better than yours. with women they celibrate each other,enjoy things just because they alone like them, and i suspect sex is better ,why else would they even put up with us?

[JenniferLynn0370]

I was born knowing I was a girl in a boy's body. I wish I'd had the courage to be forward about that with my parents, but I digress. My soul is that of a woman, I do not doubt it a second. I feel that I live a lie every day I live as a man. I feel robbed of the chance to be pregnant and bear children and be a wife and mother. So, I will do the best I can with the life I have left!

Hugs,
Jen

[aurora_erika]

I have no idea where the desire come from, but i felt it since I was 6 years old.

[pink femme]

because most things in their lives are so gentle and pretty. The skin,, the long hair, the body shape, the girly giggles, dolls, playing house, dressing up, wearing mummies shoes, being swept off your feet, receiving flowers, putting flowers in your hair, playing at princesses, having breasts, being petite, sipping champagne at a summer garden party in a summer dress........so much more:heehee: