Blessing or Curse

[Julie Ann]

As much as I enjoy wearing feminine clothes, sometimes I wonder if this is a blessing or a curse. This has caused so much confusion and stress throughout my life that sometimes I wish I had never known what it was like to wear the lingerie and dresses etc. I started at a very early age and at times I wish I would have stopped then or else dressed more. But after many purgings and much counseling, I've learned to accept this part of my life. Anyone else felt this way? How did you deal with it?

[Amelia]

I often wish that I had developed a female persona earlier. I am only just doing it now and I feel like I lost a lot of time. I've never purged or felt bad about dressing, but I am not out of the closet. I do struggle with how far I want to take things.

[KrystalA]

I have purged in the past, out of necessity, but not for a long time. And it's been ages since I wondered why I love dressing in female clothing so much. It's just part of who I am and it always will be. Trying to deny the feminine part of me would be like trying to deny the male part of me. Can't be done. I accept who I am, and I make the most of it.

[Angiemead12]

Ever since my last girlfriend I made it a moto to embrace my sexuality and personality. Since then I have never look back at it as a curse or blessing. I just see it as a part of me that is growing and learning as time goes by.

Im very lucky that my partner loves me for who I am and has accepted and supported me with all my desires. With her I can grow up faster then when I was alone.

[midnighter03]

I almost consider it a curse...two years ago when I told my wife she blamed herself, then last year she started to embrace it more and more. Now it is her norm to see me dressed in whatever when she walks in the door...but for me it is harder to embrace since the first time she freaked out so much and blamed herself. Now it is even harder for me to decide to embrace it and tell the world or hide it like a ******* child in the 1940s.

[AKAMichelle]

I struggled with this one for many years. What I found out was that until you accept yourself, cd'ing is a curse. Many of the people on here will tell it you it is a gift, but they have reached a level of acceptance. As long as you are hiding who you are from loved ones, then cd'ing is acting like a curse. Once you begin to accept yourself then you can begin to see the benefits of cd'ing.

Cd'ing is one of those things that depends upon your perspective and circumstances to determine the answer to your question. I wish you well in your journey to understand cd'ing. I hope you make it to the point where you can see cd'ing as a gift.

[sissystephanie]

Having been a crossdresser for the better part of 65 years, I can say that I do NOT consider it either a blessing or a curse!! Crossdressing is just something that I do!! And I do it because I like to!! Whether you consider it a blessing or a curse is only in your own mind. I don't even think about things like that since there is so much else to think about!

[Jean Marie]

Of course being a CD, now TG has caused many many complications in my life, I fully believe crossdrssing ceating a feminine illuson nd presentation is a blessing ad a gift, I am poud to be a crossdresse, I know th in many ways this as molded me into a better all around person.

[Pythos]

Definitely a blessing, but a misunderstood blessing. I have been told by friends that they respect how I can wear what I wear, and still retain being male. They think it is hard to do. Some aspects truly are. If it were not for my seeming lack of chemistry (a real curse), I would have had at least one GF worth the salt of the Earth.

The thing that makes this a curse is people's perceptions.

But as I rounded a corner and saw a couple outside the girl in pajama bottoms, and the guy in jeans falling mostly down his butt, with baggy and ugly boxers, I just think "don't say diddly about what I wear, My stuff fits.

[JamieTG]

I still struggle with accepting myself and wish I was "normal". I don't feel I developed healthy relationships at a younger age because my secret world of dressing was so strong and I became very introverted.

[Cheryl T]

Early on I thought of it as a curse. Why me? Why am I like this? Why am I so different?
It took years to come to accept that this is just who I am. I am male and female.
When I came out to my wife about 7 years ago she was wonderful about it. She was willing to learn about it and talk about it and explore it. Now we go everywhere together as man and wife and as girlfriends. We shop together and she accepts that I dress when I want to, but that I have the sense to not let this be the end all/be all for us. It does not interfere with our friends (they don't know and that's fine with me) or with family or any other activities that we share as husband and wife.
She's been wonderful in helping me see this as a blessing. I know more about myself, she knows more about me and I know more about her. It's been a long hard road, but the bumps are getting smaller every day.

[Sophie86]

It's a blessing... and a curse. /Adrian Monk

[RenneB]

Hi Julie Ann.

I've been dressing and purging for the better part of 46 years now. If I had the internet back then, I doubt I'd be in this timeline with a SO and two biological replacements and Renne in the closet. I'd have gone the whole trip with FFS and SRS before I got to college. I don't feel that this is a blessing or a curse, just a part of my life. It just feels comfy. Okay, the red heels are a bit tight, but that's my fault for not getting wider shoes. The rest of my wardrobe fits just great....

Renne...

[StacyCD]

In my opinion it is neither a blessing or a curse because I don't think the term applies. Consider being "tall". If you want to play basketball it could be a 'blessing' but if you want to be a jockey it could be a 'curse.' Being tall is simply a fact--what you make of defines whether it is a blessing or a curse. Like many others here I enjoy wearing clothes frequently designated as women's clothes. Unfortunately, society has a generally negative view of this type of activity, which kind of makes me a 'tall jockey'. However, my crossdressing is a part of who I am so I have to deal with the lack of acceptance hoping that in the future society will become more enlightened.

[suchacutie]

This lifestyle is not for wimps! This living in two genders, by choice, can be a real pain in the neck. The mechanics, the time it takes, the learning curve, the expense (uh huh...the expense!), the complications of interpersonal relationships, and then just trying to figure out who we are!

On the other hand, the feminine side of me has some wonderful qualities that have only gotten better and more important as they've been identified. Understanding my feminine self has enhance what I understand about my wife, and our discussions about gender have been fantastic.

As with all good things, they come with a pricetag. In this case, it is one that is gladly paid.

[AKAMichelle]

In my opinion it is neither a blessing or a curse because I don't think the term applies. Consider being "tall". If you want to play basketball it could be a 'blessing' but if you want to be a jockey it could be a 'curse.' Being tall is simply a fact--what you make of defines whether it is a blessing or a curse. Like many others here I enjoy wearing clothes frequently designated as women's clothes. Unfortunately, society has a generally negative view of this type of activity, which kind of makes me a 'tall jockey'. However, my crossdressing is a part of who I am so I have to deal with the lack of acceptance hoping that in the future society will become more enlightened.

I think might be the best explanation that I have ever seen.

[Rachel Mari]

At times it feels like a curse. I feel that way when I want to so much want to wear a skirt, or wear a particular pair shoes, or blouse and can't because I'm not out. Still working hard on the acceptance part and therapy is helping. Not very often, but sometime it does feel like a curse.

Most of the time I feel like it's such a part of me, a part I love and wouldn't give up for anything. Many times I feel like I have the best of both sides. I think both sides are pretty well intergrated with each other in that it doesn't matter what I'm wearing, both sides show up in my actions, words and feelings.

It's wonderful to feel the time to finish, to complete the picture, to be in touch with the rest of me, that it's really the normal I would prefer for me.

[Melissa Rose]

I think it is what you decide it to be. You can embrace and enjoy it, thus it is a blessing. Or you can be ashamed and hide it, thus it is a curse. You can also look at it as being neither which is what I do. It is just the way I am, and I have fully accepted and embraced it. Why fight it? While I'm blessed with a smaller build and more feminine features than the average male, I'm cursed with expensive tastes in clothing, shoes and makeup. Regardless of how you feel about it, it is not an easy path to walk even if you feel blessed.

[Elena Ornamental]

Several people have pointed this out already: you don't have to categorize your experience if you can accept it. But to respond to your question, I would say it's more a blessing. Being in a mental place androgynous my perceptions of society are sharper than single gendered people and I value that. Sure, there's a down side as it affects me socially.

[Samantha43]

I would call it a blessing. I have had feelings of crossdressing since I was a child. I acted on them when I was 12 or 13 and it has been a wonderful ride since then. I am lucky to have always been well adjusted. I played rough just like the rest of the boys when I was growing up. There was never any question about my sexual preference. My hobbies have always been male in nature. I have a very supportive wife who actually likes it when her friend Sami comes for a visit. I'm all male. I just enjoy dressing in women's clothes.

I have been blessed throughout my life, and crossdressing has been there all along. It's something I truly enjoy, so yes, it's been a blessing.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Blessing or a curse, hmmm when I started I did not realise I did anything wrong. I was young and did not know about prejudice and society's views. Then as the years progressed, I became more aware of what I did was not accepted so I did it in private. I don't think I ever thought of CDing as a curse nor a blessing, more of why not? After I did my first and last purge I never thought of it again till awhile later. Now I accept it because it is me, and it is what I like to do. Curse or blessing? Maybe a blessing as it is great to see things from both perspectives, male and female. Time, knowledge and understanding helps one come to terms with yourself. This website fills in those little negatives with positive attitude so I can handle my feelings that alternate drastically at times.

[Christine1954]

In my opinion it is neither a blessing or a curse because I don't think the term applies. Consider being "tall". If you want to play basketball it could be a 'blessing' but if you want to be a jockey it could be a 'curse.' Being tall is simply a fact--what you make of defines whether it is a blessing or a curse. Like many others here I enjoy wearing clothes frequently designated as women's clothes. Unfortunately, society has a generally negative view of this type of activity, which kind of makes me a 'tall jockey'. However, my crossdressing is a part of who I am so I have to deal with the lack of acceptance hoping that in the future society will become more enlightened.
Well put, I too see it neither as a blessing or a curse, I am just another tall jockey.
Christine

[Jilmac]

Julie Ann, Like you I got my first taste of feminine clothes at the tender age of 7. I was scared, confused, and loving it all at the same time. Back when I started experimenting with my sisters' clothes, nobody ever talked about such things except to say that it was wrong for boys to want to wear girls clothes and act like girls. Those words stayed with me throughout my life, through two marriages (which both spouses knew but didn't approve). I went through many purges as well, kept my dressing in the closet and played the part of the "manly" husband, father, and breadwinner.

All that changed in 2007. I lost my wife to cancer and shortly afterward joined this forum where I found acceptance, understanding, and a multitude of others just like myself. I finally realized that crossdressing is just as much a part of me as my vital organs. I'm dating a woman who knows about Jill and is very supportive. I love the person I've become because now I can be myself whether I'm wearing male or female clothes. I no longer feel compelled to hide my feminine identity, and YES I consider it a blessing rather than a curse.

[Elsa]

It's a never ending struggle. I envy those who are at peace with their cross-dressing.

[SandraInHose]

It's a never ending struggle. I envy those who are at peace with their cross-dressing.

What Elsa said ^^^. Although I absolutely LOVE being dressed, it interferes with just enough of my everyday life that it's become a burden or obstacle at times, for lack of a better word. Deep down inside, I truly wish I would wake up one day completely cured of my crossdressing urges. I know it would be a big stress-breaker in my marriage.

But in the meantime, I'm gonna continue to enjopy every minute I can with my legs encased in nylon!

[PretzelGirl]

It does seem that there is a train of thoughts in many. Blessing vs Curse. Purge vs No purges. Acceptance vs Non-Acceptance. Contentment vs Self Doubt. For some (many?) it can be a chain of thoughts.

Since I came to this late and it developed with my wife, I found that acceptance was easy early on. So there has been no real self doubt or purging. I have, since early on, considered it a blessing as there has been some great self discovery. Would it have been different if I started younger? There are certainly different dynamics at work at a younger age or dealing with it when still living with Mom and Dad. I think many of these things and just how well life is going in general can set which "chain" we start on.

[Comet]

As long as you cannot accept it, it will be a curse. You will be divided against yourself.

As soon as you see it as a part of yourself, I suppose it's mostly a double-edged sword. It's a part of your life and it's going to have its ups and downs.

[Fran Moore]

:thumbsup:That is why I consider the fact that I am transgendered to be a gift, just like being tall, born healthy, lefthanded, etc. etc. I accept, I embrace, and in spite of what anyone else thinks, this is me.:battingeyelashes:
In my opinion it is neither a blessing or a curse because I don't think the term applies. Consider being "tall". If you want to play basketball it could be a 'blessing' but if you want to be a jockey it could be a 'curse.' Being tall is simply a fact--what you make of defines whether it is a blessing or a curse. Like many others here I enjoy wearing clothes frequently designated as women's clothes. Unfortunately, society has a generally negative view of this type of activity, which kind of makes me a 'tall jockey'. However, my crossdressing is a part of who I am so I have to deal with the lack of acceptance hoping that in the future society will become more enlightened.

[Joanne f]

In my opinion it is not the dressing or what you want to wear which is the curse , it is the environment you might be in that makes it feel like a curse.

[Nicole L.]

Sound's an awful lot like my life's story. I still wonder that if I could have a do-over, would I try to live a lot more as Nicole, or try to stop altogether. It has been a curse at time's, for me and everyone I care for. But, at least for now, it's absolutely a blessing. I was made this way for a reason. What that reason is, I hope to find out. Most likely never will.
Nicole

[Kate Simmons]

Basically I stopped worrying about it and started enjoying it.:)

[sometimes_miss]

It's a blessing... and a curse. /Adrian Monk

Agree. While I've learned a whole lot because of the gender identity issue, and those skills and knowledge have helped me in life, it's also made my life hell at times. Given the choice, I'd have preferred to be what most people consider the normal gender identity for my physical sex. It would have simply made life a little easier in many ways.

[Brenn]

The thing that makes this a curse is people's perceptions.

But as I rounded a corner and saw a couple outside the girl in pajama bottoms, and the guy in jeans falling mostly down his butt, with baggy and ugly boxers, I just think "don't say diddly about what I wear, My stuff fits.

Given some of the gettups I have seen kids wearing - crossdressing is not so strange afterall. Keep it in perspective.

[TGMarla]

As with most things in life, it is a little of both. Even the very best things in life are not without their drawbacks. For instance, I dearly love my wife, but like anyone, there are things with my spouse that I wish would change. Yet she's my greatest blessing. There are certainly upsides to being TG, like having a greater window into the world of the other gender. It's easier for us to empathise with them. We have an enhanced understanding of how they tick.

But there are downsides to it as well. If I'd focused on any other endeavors (like making money) as much as I've done so for crossdressing and dealing with gender issues, I'd probably be rather wealthy by now. It takes up a lot of my free time, and often it is wasted time, except for the sense of well being I have while enjoying my moments en femme. Sometimes I wonder what would have become of me had I never donned that first pair of pantyhose. Would I have gravitated to the feminine anyway? Who knows?

[Kathy4ever]

I think it is a blessing when I do get to dress. It feels like a curse when I can't. So I think it is both. The ones who can go 24-7 must think it is a blessing. The ones like me who can't must think it is a curse of our environment. In a way it is just frustrating to not be yourself and feel accepted.

[Jeanna]

It's a blessing to embrace and enjoy being you, it's a curse,when you fight against who you really are...

[t-girlxsophie]

This may sound a bit naff,but I love being a Crossdresser and even that I have friends who know,and like that I Crossdress.
I dont feel its a burden or a Curse,I think it enhances my life and makes me a better person,of course Im sorry for the heartache it brought to my family earlier in my life,but even those negatives have helped me come to terms with being Sophie,My best decisions are my being honest with my SO,that has helped me be where I am today.
Hope that makes more sense than it did to me reading it back lol.

Sophie