Accepting yourself or not

[Sandra]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?

3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you?

No reason behind this curious :D

[VanessaVW]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?

3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you?

No reason behind this curious :D

1 and 2: I'm not into labels per se. However, I have accepted myself after years of denial. It is quite liberating! The label...it is what it is. (OK, I hate when people say that). I certainly will go to bat for anyone else under our umbrella.

[Kitty Sue]

Depends on the day for me. As time passes I accept myself more.

I am still working on accepting my CDing.

The reason I have issues with my dressing is that I find it hard to accept as a part of me being a man.

So what do I do to address the inner conflict. I go to therapy, I have joined trans support group in Columbus, OH. I am in the process of finding a more accepting career, and overall I simply trying to accept me for me.

[Inna]

I not only accept being transgender but lately I am proud of being one, proud of being strong to survive lifetime of turmoil, proud to survive thunderous storm of reveal, proud to be part of most wonderful family of misfits on earth, proud to spread the word about love and acceptance, proud to smile onto someone who knows only hate, proud to be Me, a "transwoman", proud to walk with my sisters and brothers for they are the most beautiful people on earth.

[Elsa]

I do not have a choice but to accept my CDs and embrace it but I cannot get rid of the guilt and remords (wife and kids).

[Anne2345]

I completely accept myself for who and what I am, and I love it! As to labels or titles as to what I am, I prefer to label myself simply as "Anne." :)

Although I accept and embrace my crossdressing and femininity now, this was not always the case. I struggled for years and years with who and what I was. I felt shame and guilt. I thought I was "broken" and "not right." I did not want Anne to be a part of me or my life, but I could not make her go away!

In the end, it was my wife's acceptance of me, before we married and after I told her that opened the door to my own acceptance. I have told the story in other posts I have submitted, but between all of the work that both my wife and I put into our relationship over this issue, I learned that if she could accept me, then I could accept myself, as well. And during that time, and since that time, I came to the realization that there is nothing wrong with me, or with any of us. It's not always easy, society is not ready for us, etc., but I would not change a thing about Anne now. Not one thing, except maybe losing 10 lbs or so! :) I am Anne, she is me, and I love it!

Had I had resources such as this forum and all of you wonderful girls way back in the day, though, wow, that would have really made life and dealing with this much easier! :)

[Haley Heather]

1. Yes

2. through pain, suffering, and depression.

[Lorileah]

I could be 15 pounds thinner and 20 years younger but otherwise I accept myself.

Why?, because years ago I had a class where the professor explained that I wasn't weird. (OK he didn't say that specifically, in fact he thought I was weird but he said that TG's are not sick, twisted or weird and since I liked the class I accepted that). From then on I just felt like I was just like everyone else, just more so

[Simply_Vanessa]

I can honestly say that I have made great progress in accepting myself :) When im not around any of the friends im in the closet to, I'm already dressing andro and acting how I act, freely. I know its only a matter of time before I tell all of them, though (only a dozen people know so far) I've already plucked my eyebrows so much that its pretty apparent by now, so lately I dont even take off my Versaces so friends cant see. but I know doing that is not sustainable..and thats why I willingly plucked so much. I know I need to come out to everyone, soon.

I came to truly accept myself only a little over a month ago. After 4 months of absolute purging and denial , I went to the hospital complaining of a recurring numbing sensation. It turns out I was having anxiety attacks for months. When the doctor told me this, he and asked how much I have to deal with in life. Hearing that made me shatter on the inside; I realized my only options were to either solve my flavor of gender dysphoria and accept myself, or be a prisoner to the doctor's offer of a medication for anxiety. I walked out of that hospital feeling like I was reborn :battingeyelashes: and life has been that way, since then.

[Raindrop]

Yes I love me! Up until about 19-20 years of age I couldnt accept it but now i'm not bothered. I am who I am...yet still ponder who I am! To question your own existence is all you need to exist. The journey never ends but I shall faithfully follow where my heart will take me.

I think time, self confidence and coming to terms with myself through thoughts of ying and yang, everything or nothing, black or white - achieved through meditation and self reflection on lsd. Oh yeah and philosophy and psychology obviously play a major role in acceptance in ones self!

[rachaelsloane]

I fully accept that CD'ing is part of who I am and really never denied it, but since I joined this forum, I have been able to express myself in a way that I had not done before and for that I consider myself very fortunate.
The Best,
Rachael

[JohnH]

Sandra, I guess today is the day you really want to stir the pot!

For all of my protesting against being called a crossdresser simply because I like to wear denim skirts with otherwise male attire I accept there is a transgendered side to me. I simply like to go outside the rigid conventions that society imposes on men.

What really rags me are the following imposed on men:
1. No makeup or very minimal makeup.
2. Long hair is still disapproved.
3. Wearing of pants and shorts exclusively (no skirts or dresses, and kilts are frowned upon)
4. Wearing of flat or low heeled shoes only

But the most aggravating aspect most of all is the coat-and-tie monkey suit look imposed on men for formal attire.

I wear skirts, dresses, pantyhose, and heels a lot more than my wife does.

My disgust with the restrictions place on men shows that I have a mental feelings of being transgendered.

I also accept that there physical aspects of myself that are more typical of women such as having hips and breasts. In fact my wife teases me all the time in a good natured way about my "tits" or "chi-chis". At least that way I don't have to wear breast forms or hip pads when I wear dresses.

Johanna (John)

[LeannL]

Sandra,

To answer your questions:

1) Yes I do accept myself.

2) After some 50 years of life, I spent a long time in conversation with God and came to the realization that God made me the way I am. It is now my task to figure out for what purpose God put me on earth the way I am.

3) N/A

Hope this helps.

Leann

[Cynthia Anne]

A very few years ago my X came by and rid me of all my clothes, wigs and so on! I went a very few days without any thing and realized that I couldn't cope without it! That's when I realized who I was! Now I'm back stronger than ever! AND PROUD OF IT!

[Lexine]

Yes. I do accept myself. One of the reasons why I was so quick (hint: in a matter of seconds) to accept who I am is because I knew that the people who really mattered would accept me for who I was inside and not what I portray on the outside. My closest friends and relatives see "ME" and not Lexi or Alex... and I knew this was what helped me. As Lexi, I'm able to make mistakes that my boy mode refuses to make. Lexi is a way for me to test out new abilities, skills, attitudes, and other stuff that I want to port over to my boy mode. I suppose this is how we co-exist: She has more freedom while the other is content with what he has.

[Byron]

I accept being a Crossdresser, it's just a part of who I am. I can tell you the exact day I truely accepted it, Nov. 8, 2009. Nothing particularly special other than I just had a personal revelation about it. I've dabbled since I was 12 or so but I think around 19 is when I began to understand what crossdressing was and choose to take it to the next level.

I'm also very glad I choose to accept it at a young age too, I know that many struggle and don't finally accept it till they are much older, and some still are never able to accept it and stuggle with it their whole lives.

A few years back I tried to figure out and understand why I do it. A lot of research and all. In the end I couldn't find any one answer that fit.

So I just chalked it up as another unique aspect about myself. I can never just melt into and be part of the crowd, even though I have no desire to stand out and be noticed either. :doh:

I'm just me. :thumbsup:

[Kaz]

On a good day I am at one with the universe... but on a bad day... :(

On a bad week... not good!

[sissystephanie]

Sandra, I accepted myself as a crossdresser many years ago. Maybe before you were born! I started crossdressing at age 6 and am now age 78! I have no desire to be a woman, and never have had. I just like to wear feminine clothes! My late wife knew that, and allowed me to wear what I wanted except around our children! That was alright with me since we had an agreement that I would not dress openly around the children.

[docrobbysherry]

1. No.
2. No
3. I wish I knew for sure! But, I suspect it's SIMILAR to the reason I don't think I should go to the mall naked!

[BRANDYJ]

At my age if I did not accept myself by now, I guess I'd have a real problem. But it was not always that way. Up until the time I told my then girlfriend about my interest in wearing women's clothes, I was anything but accepting of myself. But that was back in 1974 and I did not even know there were others like me. No Internet or readily available information on the topic back then. She was the first person I had ever told. It was with her love and understanding that I slowly began to accept myself after finding some books on the topic at her insistence. We married and had a good life together until cancer took her away in 1984. My now ex-wife also accepted and loved me just the way I was. We divorced for totally unrelated reasons and remain friends today. So it was easy to accept myself with the love and understanding of two very good women in my life. My current SO also knows, accepts and even likes me fem at times. We met on-line at another site ( collarme.com) and she saw my profile that also included some pictures of me in fem mode. We are very happy with our relationship and all we are to each other. I am her man and I am her girlfriend when she wants me dressed for her. It does not get any better then this. So with the love of 3 wonderful women in my life, it was easier for me to accept myself.

[Ann Thomas]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?

3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you?

No reason behind this curious :D

1. Yes
2. By realizing I was created this way, that it's not something I should be ashamed of.
3. Hmmm, I don't go out in dresses or skirts yet because I don't feel I am passable, either in makeup or hairstyle...getting there with the rest of it hopefully.

Hugs,
Ann

[Fran Moore]

1) YES

2) Over thirty years ago when I realized it was a part of me I couldn't change, and didn't want to as I viewed it as a gift and it makes me feel
complete, and above all, happy.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

1. Yes
2. (Just a warning this might seem confusing with all of the self refferences) I came to the realization that no matter how hard I tried to cure myself. This side of me would always come back stronger and stronger as if my TG actually thrived whenever I tried to destory it. I tried holding up the good fight as long as I could ie. birth up to my mid 20's. It got to a point where I realized there was no point in wasting any more time, money, and my emotional well being in trying to cure a part of me that I had been born with. I realized that I am TG, and regardless of whatever sport I played, career I chose, woman I dated, or no matter how masculine I tried to make myself, nothing will ever change that fact.

Oh and I also became a much happier and less grumpy person upon accepting that fact. :)

[Jennifer Sophia]

1. Yes and No, I have "accepted" for the past 23 years that crossdressing was something I did. I never really embraced it though until recently. I am still coming to terms with myself and the fact that I may be a transsexual not just a crossdresser.

2. Stumbling on this website was what finally caused me to embrace what I am. Though I could feel something had to give, either depression was going to take me or I was actually going to accept what I am and get help.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sandra, I'm still tring to figure out which I'm from your questoin yesterday (CD/TV/TS) OR WHAT.

Orchid

[Phoebe P.]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?

3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you?

No reason behind this curious :D

1. I've never thought of myself as transgendered. If wearing women's clothes at home with my wife makes me transgendered then I guess I am. Not real clear on the definitions. My best friends have always been girls and I've always felt more comfortable talking to girls, but I've never considered myself gay. Girls have always picked me up. I've never been a "player". My wife asked me out, my ex-fiance asked me out, it goes on and on back to my first girlfriend. I was just too shy.

2. I never agonized over it. Until recently it was just panties and pantyhose here and there. A little lipstick... I just thought it was fun and on the erotic side.

3. N/A

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

1) Accepting a label is difficult, the selection criteria seems to change.
2) Finding this website and gaining knowledge and seeing I am not alone, nor am I some alien. Sharing with others ideas and suggestions have helped me to accept me. Its just a shame I fear rejection from others.

[Alice Torn]

I like Doc's answer, Yes and no, to all the questions. To be human, is to be in conflict! If we did not wrestle inside with it, we would be like androids or robots. Part of me hates this thing, and part of me enjoys it. It is against my religion, but, it is something, i no won't totally go away, until I am no more.

[Chloe Renee]

1. Yes, a little more each day. The initial I'm TG/TS was a bit to wrap my head around.
2. Wrapping my head around my discovery of my TG status. Required quite a bit of therapy and discussion with my wife and a couple friends. I was able to talk about BEING tg and eventually I started to express myself. This allowed me to become comfortable just being me.

[christina s]

I guess i should of just looked for this thread instead of make a new post .

This is something i'm starting to accept but it's still kind of hard for me to swallow this is actualy a part of me

[Billie Jean]

I accept myself because its who I am and who I'll always be. It took years but I finally came to this realization. I'm happier with myself for it. Billie Jean

[Joanne f]

Yes i completely accept myself as being some sort of transgendered + person , i have come to accept this after a long time of not knowing what i am due to the lack of knowledge in the past of knowing what my feelings towards my feminine side really meant or means to me , from listening to other peoples experiences i have come to the conclusion that my feminine desires that go beyond dressing would not be normal for a full normal male therefore i have some sort of mixing of genders and desires that i am assuming a normal male does not have ( the problem being i know no difference) whether this is transgender or some type of third gender (which could be the same) i know i have the feelings and desires of the opposite gender that i was borne with therefore i personally believe that it is wrong to put all under the transgender title or label .
I say this because i feel that a female can wear a MAN`S shirt or a pair of MEN`S trousers without wanting to cross or feel like they are connected to the opposite gender the same as a male can wear a SKIRT or WOMAN`S top without wanting to cross any type of gender line , in my opinion you become transgendered when you have the feelings and think like the other (as to what you were born with) gender therefore clothes alone do not make you transgendered.

[Alisa]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.
No, don't think I do... I've come to accept my cross dressing but am still not ready to attribute the behavior to anything in particular although if pressed, I'd have to put myself in the fetish column rather than anything grander on the socio-political continuum.


2. How did you come to accept yourself? Well I guess I haven't accepted the transgender label but in terms of CD, I'd say talking to like minded people helped and continues to help.


3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you? I'm happy being a cross dresser... thank you very much.

Ps. I recently promised myself to stay away from any potentially contentious threads but I'm drawn to it like a moth to flame... hoping not to get burned.

[Joanne f]

Ps. I recently promised myself to stay away from any potentially contentious threads but I'm drawn to it like a moth to flame... hoping not to get burned.
:) I know what you mean as i much prefer being the fisherman than being the fish :heehee:

[Stephanie47]

Sandra, I am a MTF cross-dresser. I am NOT transgendered. I went to look up the definition of a cross-dresser and decided with all the different labels applied to the different sexual lifestyles that I am 'multi gendered.' I have male plumbing and enjoy being a male and doing male activities. I also like doing activities that are associated with females. I love being en femme and baking and cooking. I do not mind doing the laundry, ironing, vacuuming, dishwashing, etc en femme.

As a pre-teen I did not ascribed any label to my desire to try on my mother's slips. Later, when I expanded into trying on her dresses, slips, bras, panties, girdles and hosiery I loved the idea when I was doing it. I became disgusted with myself because society at that time associated anything other than males hunting females for sex as a perversion. I had decided I must be a 'queer.' But, how could a queer like girls? As a teen or young adult (1960-1970's) I never heard the word-cross-dresser or transvestite. There were 'queers' and 'faggots.'

As a married man my wife and I did purchased slinky nightgowns for me to wear to bed along with sheer stockings and a garter belt. This was still bedroom play. Since my wife did not object to my liking to the feel of the fabric, I felt comfortable. Later, I returned to my first love- slips and panties and then some bras. Buying a red bra confused my wife because, well, I did not have breasts. I began sequestering my garments. I cannot say I hid them because my wife knew where they were.

As I grew older I began accepting myself. When I found literature and the Internet, I realized I had a fetish or sexual preference that was out of the norm. Yes, it has caused friction between my wife and I. As I grew older and when I retired and reflected on my choices in life, I realized I had made choices that always benefited my wife and family-where we live, my job, the house we bought, the church we attended, yadda, yadda, yadda. I have to deal with other issues resulting from bring a combat veteran who killed people and was wounded. I finally figured out it was time for me to at least express to myself my feelings.

I feel very comfortable being myself and a MTF cross-dresser. Expressing my other side, my inner self, in a dress brings peace. I am not a multiple personality. I am well aware who I am when I am en femme. When I am Stephanie and doing womanly chores, I am at peace. I do not wish to force myself on others or be the object of ridicule, so I my activities are limited to the home and some night time walking and driving. Yes, it would be nice to be in a group, and, that may come to be.

I have fully accepted myself. If my wife were to decide she cannot tolerate my desires and activities, I am more than willing to end my marriage. One must be true to one's self. I made too many compromises over the years. It is time for me to enjoy my full self. Unfortunately, as many on this site have expressed, we are hiding from ourselves. There is no easy answer to our issues. But, I am totally at peace with who I am.

[kimdl93]

to answer the first question, yes I accept myself to a large extent, but not completely. I'm still not up to going public fully en femme, mostly due to fear of ridicule from others. What's stopping me - like others, my spouse's preference that I keep this at home and equally important, my own "readiness". I hope the time will come when I'm fully at ease with myself in this regard.

[darla_g]

Definitely I decided i really like being a guy, but I really like being a CD from time to time. So that's it for me my stop is already here. I am definitely in my comfort zone.

I think i spent too much time earlier on figuring out why I do it, but in the end decided it just doesn't matter.

[Jilmac]

Yes, I totally accept myself as the crossdresser I am. It took many years of confusion, non acceptance from two spouses, and society's take on manhood before I realized that the only one I have to please is me when it comes to dressing. I'm okay with myself in either skin and can easily switch form one to the other with no regrets.

[Sandra]

A big thank you to all that have replied :hugs:

It's good to see that some have accepted themselves. To those that are not quite there yet, I'm sure one day you will be able to accepet yourself.

[Rianna Humble]

My answers in red (what else?)


1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

Absolutely

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?

It was a choice between accept myself or die, and I couldn't see any future in the second option :heehee:

3. If you don't accept yourself why not? What's stopping you?

What stopped me for far too many years was a combination of obligations and wrong teaching by some well-meaning religious people.

No reason behind this curious :D

HTH

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1. I've never thought of myself as transgendered.
...
I've always felt more comfortable talking to girls, but I've never considered myself gay.

Your sexuality has nothing to do with your gender. You can be transgender and hetero, transgender and bi, transgender and lesbian or transgender and gay. If you cross the traditional gender binary stereotype, then you are transgender (remember, trans only means crossing).

[sabrinaedwards]

I think that I am "gender compromized" and at times it is difficult to accept. I say that because I have a family, a job, and responsibilities that are not congruent with crossdressing. That being said, there are times that I think that i would love to live full time as a transwoman.

[PretzelGirl]

1. Do you accept yourself as being transgendered,? Remember that all come under this umbrella, MtF cds, FtMs, TS and everyone else.

2. How did you come to accept yourself.?


Yes. I have never been in a position of self doubt or non-acceptance. It may be because I started when I was older and people in general seem to be more self accepting as we get on in years. It is just part of the maturation process IMO. When we are kids, our image with others is very key and it carries on through the teens years and into the 20s. But it goes away after a while as we and the people we are around "grow up".

Or I am just too dense to care. :heehee:

[Pink Person]

I adore being transgender. Gender identification and gender expression are primary sources of personal happiness.

Developing an articulated transgender point of view helped me the most. I learned a lot from other TG people and a lot about myself by examining our various TG perspectives.

[Denise69]

After many years of denial and self depreciation. Yes I do.
Its taken a long time to assimilate and integrate Denise into my life, but I can not imagine being without her anymore.