Going Out Alone Dressed

[AKAMichelle]

I think this maybe the hardest part of being a cd'er. I don't often have to go out alone, but it does happen. In fact this weekend I am going to Chicago and the entire weekend is for Michelle. I am starting the weekend going to see the Merchant of Venice followed by dinner with other tgirls. The play will be alone, but I would have enjoyed someelse going with me. The following day is much the same. I will be going to the Natural History Museum in Chicago and walking around some downtown then dinner with other tgirls.

Thankfully I have met some people who have taken me under their wing so I don't have to be alone the entire weekend. It does appear to be an issue which we all have to deal with at some point. This is definitely one thing that I wish got easier the more you go out, but it doesn't.

[2SpeedTranny]

Honestly, going out to do anything by myself isn't much fun, period.

Not that I'm some social butterfly (kind of a hermit actually), but if I'm going out to anything of a social nature, I'm either going with people I know, or I'd just as soon stay home with a 6-pack and computer games.

[AllieSF]

I am with you Michelle, in that I much more prefer to go out with someone to enjoy the moment and great conversations. However, I do have some regular places I enjoy going when I just need to get out of the house. Dressing at home just doesn't do it for me anymore (the downside of going out in the real world a lot). This year I bought season tickets to a great theater in San Francisco to see 6 of their performances. I even got a friend to buy them too, but unfortunately, she ended up with different nights. I always try to get a partner to team up with, but so far have been unsuccessful. So, I just go by myself and then later go to my favorite places where I know the people, customers, bartenders and waitresses. I thought that it would be difficult and maybe not as much fun. But, I have found the opposite to be true since I always feel so comfortable in my known and familiar surroundings. So, I say do it if you have no other options, just pick your favorite venues.

[Melissa Rose]

While I prefer to go out with friends, on occasion I go out alone if it is easier or I'm in the mood for more "me" time. This would be more common when running errands or if I'm pressed for time. Sometimes I will go shopping and grab some lunch or dinner when I can't find someone to go out with. Most of the t-girls I know are fairly closeted so that limits who I can go out with. I have a few good friends who are out in the mainstream like myself, but our schedules don't always align.

Like Allie, dressing and staying home is not that appealing to me. Depending on the venue and how safe you feel there alone, going out alone can be a good adventure if you are not too shy. Back in the fall, a friend and I met Allie at a bar called Martuni's in San Francisco. We were in the city for the evening and made Martuni's our last stop of the evening. We walked in, saw an interesting person at a table and introduced ourselves. It wasn't until later I found out it was Allie from here. You never know who you will run into when out.

[Cynthia Anne]

I always go alone! Why? I guess because I don't know anyone and I have always been a loner! I really don't mind it! Hugs!

[RenneB]

Hi Michelle, I found from another poster about this place. You might want to check it out when in Chitown. Love to hear about the trip when you get back. Oh get ready for winter again. We're expecting anything from ice to 6" of that white stuff again...

Renne....


Rori’s Transformations Chicago, ILL
www.transformationsbyrori.com

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I know what you mean. Been there, done that.

[Patrice_CD]

So far I have gone out alone but met others once I reached my destination. I would love a weekend to meet up with other girls to shop, have a few cocktails and enjoy the town.

[Stephenie S]

Women generally just don't go out alone. It ain't done.

Consequently it attracts a lot more attention.

As a traveling nurse, I am frequently alone by necessity. I dine alone, if I want to see a movie or show I have to go alone. But I can tell I attract more attention. Waiters know their tip will be less. I have to be MUCH more careful of where I am. And, of course, it's lot's more fun with others.

S

[Sarah Doepner]

Michelle, I agree it's fun to go out with others and that's my preference. However I've been out by myself a number of times and I think I attract less attention from other shoppers, diners or just plain folk walking around. Since we can't always find a partner to join us on some of our trips out, it just adds new skills and builds your self-confidence. I hope it works out well for you, because it does sound like a nice trip.

[Julogden]

Hi Michelle,

I'm working up my nerve to try going out dressed for everday stuff, and that's nerve-wracking to think about for me, but you're really grabbing the bull by the horns, and I think that's fantastic. I hope I can reach that point too. My big stumbling block is literally big, I'm 6'5" tall, and heavy too, so I'm not going to pass.

If it wasn't over the weekend (I have plans made already), I'd be tempted to meet with you for your museum outing, but I'd have to do that in guy mode, this time anyway.

Carol

[Kathi Lake]

I mostly go out alone. Why? I certainly do like the company, as a few of the ladies here will attest. For the most part, it seems that when I make the decision to go out, it will be at oh-dark-thirty on a random Wednesday, or something. I know my friend Sue has Fridays off, but I don't always get to go on Friday. Often, I only have time for a quick half-day. There's not a lot of time for planning/scheduling when your life is as hectic as mine. :)

I have gone out with my daughter a few times in the past month. Does that count?

:)

Kathi

[kimdl93]

We're social creatures. It seems that most humans crave some connection and certainly we'd have more fun at the theatre, museum, mall or ball game when we can share the experience (dressed or not) with someone.

[GirlieAmanda]

This is where I am at right now. Such a timely thread for me. I am on the verge of going out more myself. My T-GF lives in another state so its not possible to go out together unless I am visiting. So that leaves finding a platonic T friend around here or going out myself. Right now, I would love to get dressed up in a nice business suit and be a busy career girl just coming from work and going shopping or the movies or a restaurant and didn't have time to coordinate meeting GFs. That's my scenario I think will work plus I friggin' love sexy skirt suits!

[suzy]

Just do it! If you have company, all the better, but if not, don't deprive yourself...you go girl and enjoy live!! You will be better for it!

[msginaadoll]

Where do folks get the idea that women don't go out alone? Go to any shopping male,go to the drugstore or the supermarket. I saw a couple women this weekend who were solo at the movie theatre and one at a restaurant by herself. I also love to go out and meet up with others. Do to schedules and spur of the moment dressing this doesn't usually work to meet up with others.that's not going to stop me from enjoying the big ole world though!

[beth_30]

Sadly living in Poland I don't have access to the CD'er community - there is a website with English translations, but the forum is Polish, and my language skills are not quite up to task (though I am learning!).

I do go out by myself from time to time, when I have the chance. I'd love to out with one or two others - movies, restaurant whatever. I don't really feel like I'm missing too much with my solo ventures - I often head out by myself anyway.

[SusanLCD]

Like many others, I prefer being out with others and sharing whatever experience is involved. But, like Kathi, my opportunities to go out occur on a somewhat random basis and it's often not convenient to try to connect with someone else at the last minute.

I also must pass a "gauntlet" whenever I leave my home. I live at the end of a dead-end street and some of my neighbors are nosy and very "redneck." It's almost humorous that Susan has to disquise herself as me in order to leave for a shopping trip. Susan then emerges once she's away from the home area. Distant parking lots become locations for donning a wig, applying lipstick, and attaching earrings using the rearview mirror. As a result, scheduling to meet with someone for an enjoyable afternoon/evening can be problematic.

I confess that going out alone is a little bit sad. But, once out and about, it feels so good that it's all good. And, the occasional scheduled TG group meeting lends some opportunity to gather with others.

[Stephenie S]

Where do I get the idea that women don't go out alone?

I get the idea that woman don't go out alone by looking and learning. When I eat breakfast in my little neighborhood cafe where I am known and welcomed, I NEVER see another woman eating by herself. I am ALWAYS the only one. When I eat out when on the road I NEVER see another woman eating alone. I am always the only one. When I go to the movies, I see few women by themselves. Look around yourself.

Sure you can see women alone in the mall and at the drugstore, bank, and post office. But I thought we were talking about going "out". Women rarely go "out" alone. It just ain't done.

Being "out" alone really does attract attention.

S

[Alice Torn]

Mich, I would have liked to join you for "Merchant". In high school, we did that play. If Julogden, and me, joined you, there would be two six foot five big beautiful ladies with you!

[LynnInDenver]

Where do I get the idea that women don't go out alone?

I get the idea that woman don't go out alone by looking and learning. When I eat breakfast in my little neighborhood cafe where I am known and welcomed, I NEVER see another woman eating by herself. I am ALWAYS the only one. When I eat out when on the road I NEVER see another woman eating alone. I am always the only one. When I go to the movies, I see few women by themselves. Look around yourself.

Sure you can see women alone in the mall and at the drugstore, bank, and post office. But I thought we were talking about going "out". Women rarely go "out" alone. It just ain't done.

Being "out" alone really does attract attention.

S

With that brought up, I'll admit, I actually don't like going out alone myself, in either mode. I'll stop by the thrifts, and occasionally hit some fast food (typically for carry out), but for clubs, coffee shops, movies, and most restaurants, my personal preference is to be with friends.

[Melissa Rose]

I do see women out alone, but they tend to be more middle-aged. It is more unusual to see younger women out alone.

This is a broad generalization, but women put more value and emphasis on the social aspect of going out then men. By going out, I'm not referring to going out for an evening of fun or to a sporting event. For example, most men see shopping as a functional need - go to the store, find and buy what you need and leave. Most women enjoy the social aspect as much as the shopping part. You find more women shopping in groups, but it is less common to find a group of men with the exception of younger men (e.g., in high school) who are at the mall more to hang out than to shop.