Ending my secret

[Kelsy]

The fear of being rejected and being out cast is a feeling I have had as long as I can remember but it has become clear that it was my secret that was making me feel that way. I have known inside that I didn’t fit and I was unlike other people from the beginning of my conscious memory. I am aware that the secret I have carried is a heavy burden that has always been with me and the disruptive and destructive nature of that secret remains. It will lose it's power over me. I may be rejected for who I am but I will be understood and accepted as well. I will fear being totally alone but I will not be totally alone. I will not pass and I will. There are two things I can depend on -My secret is ending and my life is about to change and change completely!!

Prescription HRT begins Thursday 3/24/11

[MsBette]

Congratulations Kelsy on getting your HRT.
I can totally relate to that secret, as I was Forced to hide it so well I buried my secret deep in my subconscious. I was in such deep denial of what it was,It ate at me constantly, I was angry with myself, I was miserable. When I finally had no pressure to be what was expected, no partner, no judgmental people around my life .. all the puzzle fell into place and I embraced what I always knew inside but refused to admit aloud out of fear. I was a woman and I always had been.Being dishonest with yourself only leads to misery. I believe you have a wonderful outlook, and that you will do wonderfully. A whole wonderful world is opening for you and I can tell you'll embrace it fully. No matter how bumpy the ride, enjoy the fact you're on it.
Big Zen Hugs..
Beth

[Bethany38]

Kelsy I am so happy for you. Your post echos through so many here i feel. I know that weight of the burden you speak of I think that is why my shoulders are so big.

[Tomara]

Hi Kelsy ,
Congratulations !!
Best of luck to you on your transition.
Tomara

[Eileen]

Good for you Kelsy! I am sure you will find life so much better. For me, life has been so much better than I ever imagined possible, since I began life as the true me!

Eileen

[Teri Jean]

Kelsy, that is a big step and to you I offer a hand in friendship. Yes your life will change but it can be so much fun and liberating. Congrats.

Teri

[Sejd]

Thans for sharing your story. Since I don't know your situation I can only say that I have your back on changing your life. That can be a positive thing. I am not sure however that conforming to "standard" is eventually going to solve all of your problems. We all want to fit in and we all want so badly to be accepted for who we are. Since I have worked seriously with my own TS issues over these past 4 years and before that, though my entire life, I sadly think that no matter what we do, we will always have to deal with the fact that we are different, even when physically changed. I would lie if I didn't write that. However, it is an important step to be able to change and to embrace a new view of yourself as a feminine being and I applaud you for that part for sure. Happy transition :0)

[Kelsy]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. I know that HRT is only a first step but and my transition has
really only just begun. I am fully aware of the challenges I face and the difficulties that may arise but for now
I just want enjoy this moment! Your welcoming support is very important to me and I am touched by it!

K

[Eileen]

Kelsy I am sure you know your life will not dramatically change. You will continue to do most of the same things you did before transitioning, they have been, for me, happier days. And yes there will be bad days. They just have, for me, not seemed as bad.