Made an Appointment with Mazzoni Center

[Michelle PJ]

Hi, This winter thoughts of wanting to be more feminine became somewhat intense (a similar experience occurred a few years ago) and I convinced myself that it was my time to finally do something about it. After making some inquiries with a few transgender care providers, I made an appointment with the Mazzoni Center in Philadelphia. They operate using an informed consent model in treating transgender individuals who wish to begin hormone therapy. I am married with a grown-up son and a good job with an employer that recognizes transgender rights in the workplace. I am partially excited and happy about my decision, but have not told my wife. During a previous bout with my transgender desires she flatly said she would leave me if I wanted to "change sex". I have rationalized that taking hormones isn't changing my sex but might give me more of a feminine appearance. AND i thought i would just go ahead and and begin the HRT and broach the subject with her when I "have no choice" in doing so. It is kind of the saying your sorry rather than asking for permission approach. I am 57 years old and seven years away from full retirement. At my age I thought that seven years of HRT would hopefully get me where I would like to be with feminizing hormones. Of course by that time, if my "changes" are desirable, it is certainly within the realm of possibility that I would want SRS. Too bad I was so slow coming to the plate.

I'm curious if there are other forum members who might have a similar experience.

Thanks,
Michelle

[Kaitlyn Michele]

pm me if you'd like

It's your life...your wife and family are going to need special caring from you if you want their support..
i have lived in philly my whole life...i transitioned recently in my 40's, but have a lot in common with your story

[gretchen2]

Sounds like you might be playing with fire. You might want to tell your wife first before you start HRT. Unless you really do not care about her feelings then good luck.

[AnnaCalliope]

Rationalized or not, that's a lot to hide from someone you've been living and sharing a bed with for at least 10 years. HRT will result in changes that cannot be hidden unless your wife only sees you entirely clothed. Breast growth, bigger thighs and buttocks, slower hair growth, softening of the skin, tenderness around the nipples...the list goes on. Unless you and your wife never see each other naked and have minimal physical contact, I find it very unlikely she's going to not notice for very long. Not to mention if she finds your meds...

Its your life and your decision, but you are opening up a huge can of worms by not telling her your plans up front. When she finds out, and trust me, she will, be prepared to get screwed in the divorce settlement. Not trying to be harsh or insensitive here, but "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

[Katesback]

Your kidding yourself and not being honest with your wife!

Your considering taking a baby steps approach and the problem is that your likely to lead yourself and your wife to a veritable hell.

As I have said before transition is something that if it is to be done successfully it requires a 100% effort. Your doing what your proposing is not a 100% effort!

You should really sit down and ask yourself if you are willing to give 100%. That would mean being single because your wife is GOING to leave you!

If you choose not to take that step then fine with me. You will just have to live as a boy in the eyes of the world.

[Fran Moore]

Michelle, it's your life, your choice, and you must be happy with who you are, but I hope you will reconsider telling your wife. Inevitably, she will find out, and it will be so much better for your future family relations that you be up front now, instead of later. If you take a poll of members, I have no doubt that this will be the overwhelming response. Good luck on your journey.

Suzanne
Hi, This winter thoughts of wanting to be more feminine became somewhat intense (a similar experience occurred a few years ago) and I convinced myself that it was my time to finally do something about it. After making some inquiries with a few transgender care providers, I made an appointment with the Mazzoni Center in Philadelphia. They operate using an informed consent model in treating transgender individuals who wish to begin hormone therapy. I am married with a grown-up son and a good job with an employer that recognizes transgender rights in the workplace. I am partially excited and happy about my decision, but have not told my wife. During a previous bout with my transgender desires she flatly said she would leave me if I wanted to "change sex". I have rationalized that taking hormones isn't changing my sex but might give me more of a feminine appearance. AND i thought i would just go ahead and and begin the HRT and broach the subject with her when I "have no choice" in doing so. It is kind of the saying your sorry rather than asking for permission approach. I am 57 years old and seven years away from full retirement. At my age I thought that seven years of HRT would hopefully get me where I would like to be with feminizing hormones. Of course by that time, if my "changes" are desirable, it is certainly within the realm of possibility that I would want SRS. Too bad I was so slow coming to the plate.

I'm curious if there are other forum members who might have a similar experience.

Thanks,
Michelle