View Full Version : Do you think ftm's are as looked down upon

Billie Jean
09-24-2005, 09:44 PM
as mtf's are? It doesn't bother me to see one. I wish it didn't bother people to see any cd and they would learn to accept things as they really are and nevermind the things that don't really have anything to do with them. :(

09-24-2005, 10:17 PM
I think the f to m CD's have a much easier time than the m to f by far. If a f to m dosnt pass they are just considered a Tom boy. It took many years for women to be excepted wearing pants.The male to female crossdressers day will come too.If there was just a good way to educate the public about it. I had gone through my whole life and I never knew anything about crossdressing untill I found this site 6 months ago.The only thing I had ever heard of was the drag qween shows in Las Vegas and I assumed they were performed by gay men.When I found this site and started reading the threads and posts I learned so much.The posts the girls make here are very inportant because we have many curious vistors.If the public reads them and see that your are all just normal people from all walks of life they will be less fearfull and more excepting.Besides your all so sweet how could they not be nice to you ? :p

09-25-2005, 03:49 AM
Who is anybody to judge another person, and does it matter what other people really think. I know to most of us this gives us major hangups about being who really want to be, and holds some of us back from finding happiness and calmness for a good many years. If you are happy being who you want to be, I applaud you, not to mention give you a hug to show my support.

On a lighter note, if i do look down its only because im 6'7" in my favourite heels :eek:

09-25-2005, 07:15 AM
Billy Jean,

My perception [I stress perception] is that F2Ms are fewer and they are perhaps a bit less confronting than M2Fs. Masculine females seem to be more acceptable - I'm not suggesting F2Ms are masculine females - but if they don't pass as males then most people are quite accepting of them dressing as males without much fuss. They tend to be lumped together with the general lesbian community inasmuch as their sexuality is usually in tune with their 'chosen' gender ie. they prefer female partners - they are classic TS. Having said that I'd still say they face the same level of derogatory comments as M2Fs - and the same level of obstacles and discrimination.

One of the most moving posts I've read was on the TS forum Nuttycats written by a young F2M - who by her own admission was small and very pretty and whose body shape was the most female of females - transformation for her seemed impossible. So the F2M road can be very difficult.

But I'd be interested to hear F2M views.

Fiona xx

09-25-2005, 11:47 AM
With the overall acceptance of women dressing in what was typically men's clothing and lines of women's clothes called 'menswear' how do we know how many women are truly crossdressers? If that same acceptance level was there for men, how many of us would go to the extremes we do when we dress? I could see myself wearing skorts and cap sleeved Ts with a pair of sandals (painted nails, of course) and being completely content. I wouldn't need the wig or breast forms. But I'd probably do some makeup, depending on how I felt.

But as far as woman go, who can say how many dress in men's clothes for the same reason we dress in women's clothes? Who knows, there may be a higher percentage of them than there are us. But don't ask them 'cuz you know they will automatically deny it.

09-25-2005, 03:08 PM
Surely its quite simple. A woman wearing trousers is OK, but a man in a skirt?????

Julie York
09-25-2005, 04:28 PM
I think when you say "looked down upon" it suggests something despised. But I don't think that's actually what it is. It's the fact that people generaly really can't get their head round it. They may be very open minded and very kind people but they simply don't get the angle at all. It's like being excluded from a joke, or a reference to a programme on television you didn't see. It's not an active aggression so much as a feeling of exclusion. They simply don't 'get it' and it's frustrating and irritating.

And so in their attempt to 'get it' they grasp at obvious logic. Which is usually wrong. Like.....oh you're a dyke then. And so on. You get the idea.

09-26-2005, 12:58 PM
I don't think FTM's are particularly looked down upon - more ignored if anything. A lot of people don't think we exist - particularly if, like me, they are just crossdressing and never intending to transition. We just don't get onto most people's radar.

It also depends what form your cding takes. Tone is right that women dressed in men's clothes who don't pass are assumed to be tomboys (or butch dykes). My opinion from reading on various sites and advice I've been given is it can be a bit different if you are not only dressed as a man, but also packing and 'wearing' facial hair. In that case, if you get 'made' the response can be much more extreme. Unfortunately, some people are not very tolerant of difference - whether it's a man in a skirt or a woman with a 'tache!

Have just realised this feels a bit negative - it's not usually how I feel, just have huge amounts of stress going on in my life. :wall: