Controlling the urge....

[Nichola]

Controlling the urge,

I love to dress & get a real kick out of it when I do, but when I don't I obsess about it, sometimes to the point of it driving me crazy. The only times I seem to be free of these thoughts completely, are while I'm doing something that will give me an adreneline rush, or while I'm just way too busy through work.

Maybe I just don't dress enough & that could be the root cause in my case, once or twice a month is just not enough for me.

So I guess what I'm asking is, how do you deal with the urge when you are unable to dress & do you find that by not dressing it can sometimes affect your mood?

Nichola
x

[Jordan]

The way I try and control it is by at least wearing panties and nylons all the time I agree it is very hard to control but atleast this way I always have something on

[KrystalA]

Yes, I find it very frustrating when I really want to get totally en femme, but company is coming, or I have to go somewhere, but at least I'm always wearing panties, so that helps.

[Cynthia Anne]

I feel for anyone that has to fight that urge! It's a battle you can't win! As the others had said panties and nylons help! As the urge gets to strong again just add something! Like nail polish on your toes! Keep the polish fresh! CHANGE COLORS! Hugs

[Nichola]

I can see how underdressing could work for some, but for me I guess I'm all or nothing.

[Tina B.]

Back when jobs. friends and family got in the way, I would give up sleeping most of the night a day or two during the week, Up at around 3 AM dress for as long as I could, then change for work, it made for hard long days, but kept my head on straight. Under dressing helped, but like you, just not enough over the long haul. There is no substitute for dressing, that works for more than a short time for me.
Tina B.

[RenneB]

When I'm not in my 'comfy' clothes, aka en femm, I carry the fem mindset. I pick up the morning paper with everyone eating breakfast and go for the department store ads for fashion looks. When I'm out and about, I'm scoping fem manerisms and jestures along with new fashion ideas.... Underneath the male clothes, I'll wear a set of panties maybe pantyhose and definatly shaved so I can feel a lil' fem... It all starts in my mind and then travels out through the skin to the clothes...

I'm kindof lucky in that being out of work, I get to dress M-F from 9-2 unless the kids have a half day.... like today and then it's only til 11... drat... 20 minutes to go...

Renne.....

[RADER]

I am getting bolder all the time. I find myself under dressing about 80% of the time.
Usual day, Bra, panties, fem Jeans (Sorry Karren) drab top, black Tenney's with black
knee high nylons. A year ago, it was panties only. Times are changing.
Rader

[rachaelsloane]

Hi Nichola,
IMO, we all have the desire to be dressed all of the time, and when not we are definitely thinking about it. Your profile shows you are in a long term relationship, Have you tried to talk to her about your desires to dress?
The Best,
Rachael

[Nichola]

Hi Nichola,
IMO, we all have the desire to be dressed all of the time, and when not we are definitely thinking about it. Your profile shows you are in a long term relationship, Have you tried to talk to her about your desires to dress?
The Best,
Rachael

I have but it didn't go down well to say the least. At least its off my chest & it looks like we'll be going our own seperate ways although the dressing is only a part of it.

[Sarah Doepner]

Nichola,

It's been a while since I was your age or in your situation, but I clearly remember becoming much more agitated when I would go long times between dressing. When I could get it done on a regular basis everyone found it much easier to get along with me. If I couldn't dress, I tried to find ways to submerse myself in work or some other activity. I've found recently that spending time here or on Facebook, communicating with others has helped. Just being able to get it out in the open and talk about the problems helps vent some of the tension that seems to build. I've also found that other types of writing, that usually include crossdressing, have been good outlets.

I wish I had the key, but it seems that we work for a very demanding inner woman.

[Rachel Mari]

I underdress every day now (cami) and have been for the last four months. I've found that helps me with the urge to dress a great deal.
Also, after the kids are asleep, I'll dress up more (no makeup, wig and such) and do a few things around the house.

That doesn't mean when I'm expecting some time to myself and if that time doesn't happen, that I don't get kind of grumpy for awhile until I get over it.

[Jessica86]

I think about it sometimes, but never really get an uncontrollable urge. I just work extra hard to look my best when I do, so that I know I got the most out of it. I went two years without doing it in fear my wife (who I just married at the time) would not approve, and that drove me nuts. I told my wife, she approved, and now, its about every five days or so, unless I have a few days off together. It can get boring being off on Monday.....I would suggest just going all out every time. Otherwise you will wake up the next day going, "Think I'll try this with it."

[Debra Russell]

the earge is constently with us -- I tend to go shoping , underdressing is a given -- Debra

[Jorja]

When I used to get to the point I could no longer ignore the urge, I would drag my huge suitcase into the middle of the town square and get dressed. Not just dressed but dressed to the nines. It usually caused a riot in town but hey a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

Actually, I would work out more time for me to dress and it made me feel soooo much better. Until tomorrow, that is.

[JamieTG]

Underdressing seems to control the clothing urge but there have been a few times where I've tried to present a masculine appearance by cutting of my long fingernails, letting my body hair grow out, and not wearing my earrings. This causes great anxiety and a depressed mood. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Fortunately I don't have to do this very often.

[Teri Ray]

Seems I am the only qualified doctor of crossdressing here. My diagnosis is if you feel frustration over not dressing enough you need to dress more. Of course when people ask me "hey doc it hurts when I do this" I normally tell them not to do that.

[Misti]

Seems I am the only qualified doctor of crossdressing here. My diagnosis is if you feel frustration over not dressing enough you need to dress more. Of course when people ask me "hey doc it hurts when I do this" I normally tell them not to do that.

I've spent 20 highly productive years of my life "fighting for the rights of everyone;" rights like, "Freedom to __ __!" (Fill in the blank(s) for yourself?" I don't know where a "crossdressing urge right(s)" fits into that picture, exactly, but I now know that I'd go back to war instantly just to defend my "urge to dress 24/7" again, it's really gotten that bad for me. :straightface:

Following the sage (psychological) advice given in a previous post elsewhere, that of rewarding/re-assuring/show of male love to, etc., your SO with a male mode representation, I've just spent 4 excruciatingly painful days in true 100% male-mode doing tons of badly needed "honey-do's, etc.," out and about. During that test of will-power, all that time I "literally ached" to get back into my 24/7 girl-mode again. As a consequence, I've actually been a "bitch" for 4 days! Now I know where that saying comes from - "been there, done that!" :sad:

Contrary to Roberto Duran's infamous proclamation's meaning, (re. Leonard-Duran Fight II in New Orleans, November 25, 1980) "No Mas" ("no more" in Spanish), I am now taking the "Good" Doctor's good advice to heart. Since she somehow neglected to give us a written prescription for her "crossdressing urge medicine," I think I'll just self-medicate 24/7 for the rest of my life, thank you very much! :battingeyelashes:

[Jenniferathome]

I finally told my wife and now I am free to dress when I like. Since telling her, I wear panties daily. I buy clothes and they hang in my closet. Because I am free, there is no "urge".

[Gwinnie]

lately I have been feeling an urge all the time. My wife doesn't approve, but lately it seems it's all I can think about.

[Maria 60]

Oh yea, if a opportunity gets missed i could be in a bad mood for days. In the whole week opportunity only may come once or twice, so if one gets missed i get disappointed and moody.

[Stephanie47]

Being a retiree with a still working wife allows me to give into the urge on a daily basis. I am able to surf the Internet for new clothing. If I couldn't be en femme with regularity, it would drive me crazy. For me it's all of nothing, although I skip the makeup unless my wife is out of town for several days. I've tried under dressing, however, only the feel of panty hose and nylon panties works during any dry spell. I love the feel of nylons encasing my legs and a$$.

[Cari]

Underdressing doesnt really do it for me.

If I cant dress it sort of helps me to plan the next the next session and get things out of the way.
I used to try to dress every weekend, now I'm at about once a month and I do plan it so I have that time free with no distractions.
Sometimes it helps to shop a bit, do some laundry or just put an outfit together.

But mainly I just throw myself into whatever is keeping me from dressing.
Sometimes that means spending time with people and helping them with things, sometimes its just cleaning the garage whatever it takes for me for me to get a day free.

[Kathy4ever]

It's about staying busy. My thoughts are on dressing more when I'm relaxed and not busy. It's not a cure all but if the mind is preoccupied with something then you will get by. My thoughts are on dressing more and more these days. Spring is hear and I luv all the colors and frabrics of spring and summer. The sandals too.So many choices.

[crystalbath]

I thought I had control over my crossdrsssing but I realised yesterday that I dont really. I said to my SO that if we ever got married I would like to wear a dress as well. She was really supportive and liked the idea. I realised how much I love doing it and that I dpnt want to be a part time girl. I want to be a girl all the time. Even have thought about getting breast implants or taking hormones to make some ( god I sound crazy also think ive went way off topic haha). Anyway yes, I do get the urge most if the time. I would like sarah to be out all the time x


Though I dont thing my parents would approve haha. My mum went mental one time and threw all my girl stuff out. Was really sad lol. My dad doesnt know at all lol x

[Nicole L.]

I agree, Cari. Underdressing doesn't satisfy my desire's, either. Unfortunately, I'm not able to live as Nicole 24/7/365, yet.

No matter what I try to do to get my mind off dressing, it never seem's to work. I'm usually in a crappy mood. Which isn't good for anyone around me, or myself.

Not sure what the answer is. Hopefully I'll find it, someday, soon.

[leah kernow]

I try and stay as balanced as possible but it's very difficult. To underdress helps but only puts off the inevitable urge to dress fully. I have tried lots of things to stay focused on the day to day things expected of me but it doesn't take much to be distracted by a nice top, pair of shoes or my partner saying she needs to get something new. I give into things now and just accept that there are lots of things I can't do all the time and dressing is one of them, then when I can dress I make the most of it, Leah

[Sharon B.]

Whenever I have the urge but can't seem to find the time, I try and keep my body hair-free and wear nail polish on my toenails.
Even if its only for an hour I will go ahead and get dressed as a woman, if for nothing else just to clean my home as a woman.
For me it is more of a want to; then more of a need to.