I want to show people... Well some people

[James Kaon]

I had a great night with a friend of mine last night. I had told her about my desire to wear lingerie a month after i started (4 months ago) because I knew she would be cool and of course she was! Im lucky to have a friend in her...

But, even though I consider what I wear to be a fetish, and therefore something private (even though desire seems to be spreading upwards :-/), I sorta wanted to show her. Yes, I do fancy her a bit and she knows this (we have funny relationship but its all good!) but why do I need to show someone, even friends? I guess its a rhetorical question but I have no idea where I am at right now... I get turned on wearing stuff, but I sort of want people to know but realise not everyone will be cool like my good friend last night...

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post but I guess its prompted by the fact that I imagined showing someone and they look at me like I'm a freak. I had a bad morning where i thought about this possibility and really questioned if there was something wrong with me - I know many of you have had far worse feelings to deal with but anyway.

Do you feel the need to show yourself crossdressed, fetish or not? OK so its newish to me, but I seem to be thinking about it all the time. Its exciting and scary at same time - but only scary because of fear of others perceptions. Im still the same guy who supervises. I still have the same humour. I still love science!

Im not sure I'm making sense - sry!

Jx

[Naomi Rayne]

Actually you are making alot of sense. When things first start out a lot of people feel the same way you do. They are plagued with a million questions all/most of them being open ended unanswerable questions. I felt the need to tell a bunch of friends about my dressing. All of them women because i personally despise most guys. In your case with it being a fetish things are even a bit more difficult because that is something very private. I would think that the reason you want to tell people is because you want to be accepted because that will feel good and help you move through your own feelings with the support from others. The trick is to attempt to figure out which people will support you, or which people will not freak out. Thought that really is a risk thats either worth taking or not worth taking depending on how you look at it.

Also when i started which was a little over a year ago i thought about things all the time. I was constantly thinking about things from questions to worrys to clothes to products to how i wanted to do things. And even a year later it is still on my mind more often then it is not. Dont be afraid by the feelings that seem to be creeping up on you, it seems to be a part of the process although everyone is different and experiences it a bit different. You are still the same person, its just now you have another part of yourself that you are discovering. It can be scary at times because its new to you and its a social taboo. Just take things slow and try not to jump head first into things and be overwhelmed.

[James Kaon]

Wow. Thanks LolaLace, you say alot that rings true. Your "Being dressed up is much better if you have someone else to admire and enjoy it with you." is perhaps too true! :P Appreciate your response!

[Joanne f]

One of the necessary parts of cross dressing for some is to be seen by others or some one but i am talking about being fully dressed , some need this validation from others but i get the feeling that you are talking about being in underwear only and unless you know the other person very well you would be walking on very dangerous ground so i would find out how the other person feels first before you dive straight into it or you could end up with a very big backlash .

[Cynthia Anne]

I realize there's a certain rush or high to letting people see your other side! But in your case I feel the reason to be more of a true friendship! And I think the only way to keep a friendship is to be honest with each other! Hugs!

[abbykins]

I just started last week and I have the same feelings. I showed some of my girl friends and they were all interested and fun about it. My relationships with everyone I've showed are closer now. I say go for it!

[Maria in heels]

There is nothing at all wrong with you wanting to show yourself off...as you said, part of you wants to show her since she has been receptive when you told her that you like to dress. It is a big secret that many carry for years, and some forever. Some of us are lucky in that we can share this with someone, especially a significant other, and grow because of the support that we receive.

I also say go for it, but have a discussion with her before you just walk thru that door dressed...I don't think that shock factor would be good for anyone

[sissystephanie]

I have been crossdressing for over 60 years. Started out wearing panties and just grew into wearing everything feminine. When my late wife was alive and did my makeup and fixed my wig I did go out in public a lot so people could see me. Now that she has died, I still dress up and go out, but as a guy in a skirt or dress! No wig and no makeup! I have just reached a point where I don't care what people think about me! What I wear is my business, as long as I am decent. And I do use the men's restroom's!! Some of my friends think I am "odd" in the way I dress, but they still tolerate me! I think feminine clothes are much more comfortable to wear, and they look nicer!!

[James Kaon]

Thx for the encouragement everyone :)

I hear what alot of you are saying and that if I feel I can trust someone enough to tell them (so far a few girls), I should not rush and SHOW them until they feel comfortable enough. Funny tho that I seem to be wearing things around the flat - as sissyStephanie says, they do feel and look better than men's clothes!

[Rita C.]

I under dress about 80% of the time ( bra and pantys), and at first I liked to see the expression on peoples face when thay seen me, ( I fill up a B cup so there is no way that people dont see that I am wear a bra) but I have done it for so long that it comes nataural for me to wear it and the people that know me when I am not dressed think that some thing is wrong. I have one friend that thinks I am crazy, but about 6mo. ago she gave me two bras and lot of sexxy lingerie. Hugs to all you girls

[deebra]

You want confirmation of acceptance, in other words it's perfectly fine and O.K. to wear fem clothes and be a cd.

[Jennifer Soames]

I agree with deebra plus also when you wear something pretty you like to show it off.

[Lainie]

Although I enjoy experimenting with and photographing outfits at home, I really get restless if I can't go out in public dressed once in a while. I underdress and wear women's slacks or jeans frequently--almost always for the last month or so--but do so with the intent that no one will be aware of it. It's ok, but not nearly as much fun as going out in a skirt or dress and interacting with people.

[docrobbysherry]

Once you've told some one, u can NEVER un-tell them!:brolleyes:
Sometimes the negative effects of that knowledge may take awhile to seep out!

I had that SAME URGE to tell someone. I picked a very open minded old girlfriend who lives far away.:)
At first, she was very supportive!:thumbsup:

Suddenly she's, "Not another word or pic about Sherry!":thumbsdn:
It's permanently damaged our relationship!:sad:

[James Kaon]

You want confirmation of acceptance, in other words it's perfectly fine and O.K. to wear fem clothes and be a cd.

That's probably bang on, I have to admit. Its very frustrating cause we all here know its ok to do what we do to whatever extreme and yet feel a need to hide it knowing that the majority do not think its ok. At least, thats what we think :) Who can truly know? I honestly reckon that within 10 years, the world will have new attitudes that reflect something more tolerant or even embracing. Despite how much the human race likes to f**k itself up, we are still going in the right direction - it just takes a little guts now and then maybe... Something I think I have but as yet have not backed up with action... Oops getting philosophical there :O

Sherry sorry to hear about your ex, but if she is now negative about it, then I am sure she has her own (personal) reasons which unfortunately work against u. But we cant tread egg shells around everyone can we? Even if it may mean a little ostrasizing. I doubt I spelt that right. Oh, and in answer to your motiff, you are smarter. Scientists of the highest intellect have always said, the more I know, the more I realise I dont know. Makes you wanna know more :D

Cheers!
Jx

[audreyinalbany]

I think a lot of our desire to share with others or even to 'pass' in public is really at attempt to normalize a behavior that is frowned upon by our culture. We all desperately want it to be 'no big deal.' I think one of the reasons that I'm not more open about it with others is that primal ear that their knowledge will alter our relationship in unknown ways.

[James Kaon]

I think a lot of our desire to share with others or even to 'pass' in public is really at attempt to normalize a behavior that is frowned upon by our culture. We all desperately want it to be 'no big deal.' I think one of the reasons that I'm not more open about it with others is that primal ear that their knowledge will alter our relationship in unknown ways.

Exactly. Fear of something as opposed to being open about something about yourself... Im really sorry if this gets boring for everyone who may peruse this thread, but damn! I have heard alot on this site of people who have asked advice about therapy... I considered it myself many times as I think I am an overtly se**al person - am I a freak etc etc... But actually i am very loving and caring - nothing in my nature has any harm to anyone else attached to it. So why would I consider therapy??? I/we do because it defies current trends... I guess...

I constantly suffer/(exult too - cant help it) from over analysis, and I know I have a bit of a freaky brain, but it is not a negative one. At least I dont think so - Audrey, you r so right - i seek to make my behaviour passable. But I am seeking it in a place where that is not gonna happen, at least not right now... I accept I am what I am - and the many different feelings that so many post here. But I would love to challenge the norm - but as u say, there are so many unknowns... Family for me is the reason I would not reveal as much. I think. My parents are catholic and I love them so much. But as an atheist, it would really break their hearts if their youngest son proved to be their mosts catalytic :O Not only does he not believe, but he dresses in girls things! Ouch! I know they would not reject me, but I know it would not work well in their heads...

Sorry - i think Im starting to vent and apologize for doing so...

Jx

[NyssaF]

Like everyone else so far here, I can definitely relate. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful best friend. Not only is she accepting, but she helps me pick out outfits, get straps and such adjusted right, etc. :) Not only doesn't she mind seeing me, but she accepts me completely.