GG & Femininity

[christinac]

This question is geared towards our GG friends and family here.

My question is that from a GG point of view, what exactly is femininity? What exactly are the qualities that makes a person feminine?

[Stephenie S]

Try to answer your own question.

From a male point of view, just what is masculinity? What exactly are the qualities that make a person masculine? It's not an easy question to answer is it? Some would say that you can't answer it at all.

S

[TGMarla]

I disagree that you can't answer it. Certainly, the qualities of masculine and feminine do exist. Mankind has long held the belief of the yin and the yang, and it spans all of history everywhere. To say that you can't answer it is to suggest that it is impossible to look at anyone or anything and render the opinion that it has feminine qualities.

Varying cultures have varying traditions and beliefs as to what is considered feminine. People throw out words like "nurturing" and "soft" and "beautiful". The feminine is the very essence of what makes a woman in many cultures, just as the essence of man is the maculine. It is where life begins and where it continues beyond itself. But it can only do so with the masculine. They belong together. And just as without darkness there cannot be light, or without the good, there cannot be evil, the feminine cannot exist in and of itself without the masculine. These are forces of nature, and cannot be denied.

The two are polar opposites that drift into each other. A whole lot of us exist in the mist where they join. There are very feminine women, and those who are not as feminine, just as there are men who who are and are not masculine. And there are a whole lot of us that carry strong traits from both sides.

That's the feminine in me. When the dress comes off, the guy comes out and plays. The feminine is not exactly put away, but it takes a back seat.

[Rachel Morley]

Let me add something into the mix with a couple of quotes:

"God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met."
Farrah Fawcett

"It is not possible for a man to be elegant without a touch of femininity."
Vivienne Westwood

[Babeba]

Femininity is like the bacteria that causes stinky slime on old fridge leftovers. It's really hard to pinpoint and say what it is, but you just KNOW when it's there!

[docrobbysherry]

As Babeba says, I CAN'T say what femininity is exactly. But, I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT!

[Stephanie Miller]

Stinky slime Babeba?
I much prefer it expressed..
"Femininity is like the bouguet of a rose. It's beautiful bouquet is there. You can’t see nor touch it. You just know it’s there, and it’s source."

[Babeba]

Hmm.. See, the smell of roses is generally linked to hydroflourocarbons, and many other subtle smells just need gas chromatography or mass spectrometers to sort out what trace elements cause the smells.. it's those unseen little bacteria parts that cause the outward symptoms we see that's like femininity! :-)

(Sorry, I'm quite a geek about smells!)

[abbykins]

:eek: I just learned something interesting!

[Mimi]

I agree with the concept that you can't pinpoint the exact qualities, but you sure know when it's there. We've all known those GGs who seemed to have whatever it is that men like--maybe a way of listening to him, looking at him, body language...and they all might look different from each other. And I do realize that "feminine" women would also be attractive to lesbians as well--just for simplicity I was thinking of male/female relationships. Perhaps it is something as scientifically mundane as pheromones and estrogen levels that are subconsciously detected that make us think a particular person is feminine. I also think there can be many behaviors that we consider feminine--generally those associated with nurturing, protecting and caring for young, managing the general household chores, or dressing to attract the opposite sex. Society also labels certain behaviors or looks in men as effeminate--perhaps those are the behaviors that in women, are seen as appropriately feminine.

[Sue101]

It is undefinable. There is an infinite mix of component parts - the body shape, the clothes, the hair, the attitude, the mannerisms etc that when combined produce a satisfying whole. Get the recipe wrong and it does not work but there are many different recipes that excel. Femininity also has cultural idealism mixed in which changes every generation so the feminine woman of the past would send out the wrong signals if she existed today.

[KrystalA]

To me, femininity is more than appearance. It is a state of mind also. You don't have to look particularly feminine to feel feminine.

[christinac]

Thank all of you for you in put here. I'm not trying to define a gender here, but get a GG's unique point of view on the subject of femininity because speaking as a guy for a second, most men for some reason tend to turn the subject into a joke. Obviously, there is more to being feminine than lipstick and a skirt.

[tiffanyjo89]

From a male point of view, just what is masculinity? What exactly are the qualities that make a person masculine? It's not an easy question to answer is it? Some would say that you can't answer it at all.

Most people, if you ask them to honestly answer you, will give you a completely different answer from their own brother/best friend/father/etc.

In the same way that question has multiple answers, the femininity question has multiple answers. They might have the same fundamental values in the answer, but that equates to small percentage of the total answer.

As a person who is a guy most of the time, masculinity to me isn't "Drinking beer*, scratching your belly, and watching 24 hour sports." Masculinity to me is having a confidence in your ability to be the head of your own family. That also comes with a responsibility to actually listen to the members of your family and to not be "I'm a man, I'm right, you're wrong, make me a sandwich." You have to be "I feel like you did something wrong, but as a father/husband/etc I also have the responsibility of making sure that what I'm doing is right, and if you indeed WERE right in what you did, I have to be man enough to admit that I was wrong."

To sum it, being a man involves more than just playing the "man card" and immediately being right and having an iron fist over everything. It involves making sure that you are in the right before you exhort your authority over a situation.

That's my basic idea of what it takes to be a man. The same base qualities it takes to be a leader (or in the case of a marriage and a family, co-leader). That's not to say a man who relies on others is weak, or a woman who is a strong leader is less of woman...it means that as a man you should work to develop leadership characteristics.

[Stephenie S]

Well. I didn't say you CAN'T answer my question, I just said it's hard to answer. And did I get an answer yet? No, not yet. I got one opinion.

The fact is that it's hard to define masculine and feminine. As someone above pointed out, there are many different answers to this question.

Will we get a FAB to answer? Is nurturing ONLY a feminine trait? Is self confidence ONLY a masculine trait? Of course not.

It's not an easy question that you posed.

S

[Jillt]

Silly its sugar n spice n everything nice

[Sarah Doepner]

I mentioned something very similar to this in another thread. We crossdressers probably don't really understand our masculinity any better than we comprehend femininity. As long as we see them as mutually exclusive we probably never will. I'll be very interested in seeing any non-biological trait discussed that can't be either male and female to some degree. The problem we face in this discussion is defining the proportions of those traits that move a person from one side of the spectrum to the other. Most characteristics are found in us all and are basic to being human. Our perceptions of these behaviors are influenced throughout out lives by our interactions with others and probably subconsciously linked with particular physical characteristics. For example we can associate nurturing with being held or fed by mom as a child. Over time she comes to represent that characteristic. Maybe Dad becomes associated with strength and aggression. We are rewarded when we adopt the role models considered appropriate for our gender and they are seen as the expected standards. It's obviously more complex than that, but hopefully you get the point.

It's my belief that crossdressers feel these shared emotions and practice the feminine behaviors, but it's not enough. Only by linking them to the physical image of a woman do we get the kind of psychological feedback we seek. It's then the "de-stressing" we talk about appears. We have removed the reason for the internal conflict and regardless of how accurate an image we present to anyone else, we are in our happy place. Or maybe we are just guys who like to wear pretty things because it feels good. What do I know anyway?

[BillieJoEllen]

Years ago a good friend of my wife's and I were talking. The talk turned to fashsion. My wife said that she always looked forward to opportunities to wear skirts and/or dresses. Our friend replied that she didn't own any skirts or dresses because they always made her feel so 'girly'. This was around 1971. She had to wear skirts or dresses to school when she attended. After highschool she got rid of all her dresses and skirts. The only time after that that she wore a dress was on her wedding day. She doesn't even like to wear shorts of any kind. She hasn't worn a dress in forty years although she has always worn her hair long. Very pretty face - no makeup. I've always wanted to question her further about her feelings.

[seanmuscle]

Feminine outside = heels, makeup, stockings and dress, petite stature and fragile frame
feminine inside = maternal, soft spoken, sensual and love masculine macho men to protect her

[Avana]

read this instead:

http://www.amazon.com/Second-Sex-Simone-Beauvoir/dp/0679724516

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1174932090l/457264.jpg