When They Ask You Why You Crossdress...

[Julie]

What do you hear back from them the most? Are you gay? Are you trying to pick up men? What is the most common response you get from others when they try to understand why you crossdress?

[Sherlyn]

well when my family found out ,,it was the gay thing cept my sisters ..they said hmmmmm and it didnt seem to matter to them

[Tiffy]

When I told my grandmother last week, the first thing she asked is if I was gay. I said no, and she said but most CD's are gay. :rolleyes:

April

[Dixie Darling]

April said:


When I told my grandmother last week, the first thing she asked is if I was gay. I said no, and she said but most CD's are gay.

Glad you mentioned it this way. That's the pre-concieved notion that the general public has about us and as we are all well aware it's wrong. I think it's a shock to most people when they hear that the incidence of homosexuality among the crossdressing community is the same - IF NOT LESS - than that of the general population.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[KatieZ]

Are you gay?

What we need is a situation comedy about a cd coming out to his wife. And perhaps a straight cd friend to fill in some gaps. TV is the way to educate people about tv's. A really good show in the middle of the Mon night comedy line up would do more for us than all the legislation going on in D.C.

[Stormgirl]

Are you gay? Do you want to be a girl? Why do you like girls' clothes? None of your f**king business sh*tbirds! :mad:

[Julie]

Are you gay? Do you want to be a girl? Why do you like girls' clothes? None of your f**king business sh*tbirds! :mad:

Shy? I don't think so Hon! :kickbutt:

[Michellefcd]

When my sweetie told me he was so serious that I thought he was leaving me...so my first response was "Oh is that it??? I thought you were going to say you were leaving me!" Our relationship was not in jeapordy but he was just so serious I could not figure out why the serious talk was needed! He filled in the gaps and before I could ask told me he was not gay and did not want to transition. But he also had lots of information at the ready for me to read so I could understand how he felt.

My .02

Edit: OOps I posted as my sweetie, didn't realize she was signed in!...This is AngGG :D

[Vallari]

With the family...
Are you planning on getting a sex change?

With general public...
Are you gay?

[MarinaTwelve200]

I beleive I might have figured out the "gay" thing that people associate with CD.
Kids usually ask what "gay" or "queer" means when they are 9 or 10 years old or younger. An age when sexuality or sexual intercourse means NOTHING to them.----So what they are told in terms that they can understand is that a "Gay" is "a guy who thinks and acts like a girl"---Not entirely "inaccurate" in respect to sex and sexuality, but to a kid who has no concept of sexuality and sex acts, the kiddie definition is usualy taken a bit too litteraly.

Obviously, a LOT of adults STILL beleive the kiddie definition of "gay", as a guy who dresses and acts like a woman. The sexual aspect which they, by now, are aware of (and is really the primary defining factor) is thought of as only an adjunct to the original definition---(AND, "oh yea, they ALSO have sex with each other".)---Thus a misconception of who is and isn't "gay" is born.

Apparently, hardly anyone in the general public ever goes out of their way to learn what gay or homosexuality actually is. And know nothing about CD, TS or other conditions that their kiddie definition of "gay" may sound like. So I personally think that the gay question originates from a childs idea of homosexuality that never got corrected --even into adulthood.==in a word "Ignorance".

[FionaAlexis]

Julie,

My daughter asks me quite regularly if I'm gay [maybe its cos I go PHOARR! every time I see Orlando Bloom just to annoy her]....

My partner knows I'm practically sexually inert [she says I am the Neon gas of sex except I don't light up even with electricity] so she asked about sex change...and how much are you going to spend?

My ex-wife asked what toilet I used [she had a fascination for bodily functions]

A female work colleague asked how I did my make up...

Others didn't ask...

Fiona xx

[Fiona K]

When I told my wife, the only person who knows, the "Gay thing" was uppermost in her mind. Unfortunately right now other uncertainties such as transitioning are getting in the way of things.
One day I'll come out to a few more folk and gain a statistically more usefull sample!!
Fiona
xx

[Clare]

For others to understand why is like
explaining color to a blind person.

To have someone understand, they have to
really want to know, without preconceived thoughts.
So True!

I couldn't have said it better - which is why i quoted you! :D

Christine

[Wendy me]

well when we(my wife and i) frist had any talks( more like mad fits on her part) the are you gay? thing came up nen next are you sick?? then add a kicker of you want to be a woman this is sick....

although then veary hard to get a word in edge wize was ....

1) are you gay? no i am not gay i love you and have no intrest in being with guys....

2) are you sick?? no i am not sick i just enjoy wearing womans clouthes....

3) you wan't to be a woman... no i am realy happy being me this is just something i enjoy and need to do it makes me feel happy and relaxed....it's a part of who i am...
there is nouthing wrong or sick abought it ....

over time i think we have made some progress in if not totaly accepting my dressing to were it's not a total blow out any thime the dressing comes up...veary resently i just told her i am a crossdresser and we need to talk abought it ...at this time she said i know we need to talk abought it but not right now and gave me a kiss ... no yelling or freaking out at this time ....we could be on our way .....

[Vaerise]

What do you hear back from them the most? Are you gay? Are you trying to pick up men? What is the most common response you get from others when they try to understand why you crossdress?

Well most of my friends say, well that cant be real maybe you are just feeling down, it will pass after a while. One of them even say, so does that mean you feel compelled to go suck on another man's ****?
Another one mentioned he used to CD but only once. Only one of my friends actually went and do some research and realize its not that uncommon.

Generally most of my friends who knew dont want to talk about it.

[HaleyPink2000]

I feel pretty when I dress. I don't feel that way when not en femme! To tell you the truth, I feel ugly dressed as a man.

Haley:)

[Charlene Marie]

Are you gay? Do you want to be a girl? Why do you like girls' clothes? None of your f**king business sh*tbirds! :mad:


Aubrey, the picture of the D.I. and the quote. That's hesterical, I love it, I love your sence of humor.:)

[mskilmer]

Actually, it was I who first brought up the gay thing when my wife was first helping me get dressed. "I'm NOT gay, you know ..." "Yes, dear", she'd say. Then I'd put on the bra. "I'm really not." "I know, dear." Then I slipped on the pantyhose. "Really ... this isn't about gay at all." Finally she said, "Will you shut up about gay? I get it!" It's been nothing but fun ever since. (And I'm NOT GAY!)

[TGMarla]

When my wife found out, and we had "the talk", one of the first things she asked me was if I was gay. She also asked if I wanted to be a girl. The answer to the first was easy. No. But the answer to the second is more complicated. It's a yes, but I really don't want to transition and have surgery. I'd rather opt for all the good things without the pain and hassle. So there's no way she's in any danger of me becoming a "real" girl, either.

But we don't talk about it.

[Julie]

When my wife found out, and we had "the talk", one of the first things she asked me was if I was gay. She also asked if I wanted to be a girl. The answer to the first was easy. No. But the answer to the second is more complicated. It's a yes, but I really don't want to transition and have surgery. I'd rather opt for all the good things without the pain and hassle. So there's no way she's in any danger of me becoming a "real" girl, either.

But we don't talk about it.

Marla,

We seem to be living parallel lives. That pretty much describes me. I'll never transition but would be first in line if the 'magic pill' was ever made.

One thing I remember my ex saying several times is "Women get dressed up to attract men." In other words, since I'm taking all this time to look as femininely attractive as possible, I must want to attract men too. No matter how many times I told her there's no correlation, she just couldn't understand.

I'd be interested in knowing if the GGs here get dressed nicely only to be attractive to men.

[Wendy me]

well julie now my wife is saying oh that hair is that abought???and your nails are omg your looking like a woman and i never put it all together....

[Tamara Croft]

I'd be interested in knowing if the GGs here get dressed nicely only to be attractive to men.
I guess most women (or young girls) do dress to attract to opposite sex or whatever sex they are into if they are single. But speaking for myself, I like to dress nicely to make myself feel good. Yes it's a plus when you go out and you can see men looking at you, but mostly for me, it makes me feel good about myself. I used to have a very low self esteem and for someone to turn around and say, wow, you look fantastic, is a big thing for me. So I guess it depends on your age/status as to the reasons you get glammed up ;)

[TGMarla]

Yes, Julie. I think when I dress, it's actually to attract ME more than anything else. I see an attractive woman, and I envy the fact that she gets to physically look like that. I want to look like that. Why? It's not so that I can attract men. It's just that I enjoy looking pretty. Nothing to do with attracting men.

[Ellisia_Lynch]

Are you gay?

What we need is a situation comedy about a cd coming out to his wife. And perhaps a straight cd friend to fill in some gaps. TV is the way to educate people about tv's. A really good show in the middle of the Mon night comedy line up would do more for us than all the legislation going on in D.C.


I'm not sure if it has been mentioned, but The Drew Carey show had a crossdresser storyline. Drew's brother in it came out to him. It handled it pretty well actually - after his initial confususion Drew's attitude was 'I don't get it but it's cool'. It really seemed as though it was an issue close to Drew's (or the writer's) heart, it was so sesitively done.

[Julie]

I guess most women (or young girls) do dress to attract to opposite sex or whatever sex they are into if they are single. But speaking for myself, I like to dress nicely to make myself feel good. Yes it's a plus when you go out and you can see men looking at you, but mostly for me, it makes me feel good about myself. I used to have a very low self esteem and for someone to turn around and say, wow, you look fantastic, is a big thing for me. So I guess it depends on your age/status as to the reasons you get glammed up ;)

It's interesting that some of what you said is how I feel when dressed. If I take my time getting dressed I usually like the image in the mirror and that makes me feel good. I also feel more confident about myself. I like seeing other's reactions (when positive!) and I love hearing compliments. It's a big thing for me too. That could be an underlying reason why crossdressing is so appealing to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

The only time I get reactions like that when in drab is from a GG with whom I'm romantic. Maybe women are less prone to pay a compliment to a man without there being something between them first??? :strugglin What a thrill that would be for a woman to walk up to me when in drab and compliment me!

[HaleyPink2000]

For me it's for the same reasons.

I don't feel equal to other people till I am dressed. I feel pretty when dresses en femme, and ugly if I am not dressed as a Girl. Also I like the woman I see staring back at me. She makes me feel happy, never yells at me or scorns me. Pays attention to me always etc. LOL

Ok, it makes me happy. Thats what Life should be about.

As Tamara said:
Originally Posted by ~Tamara~
I guess most women (or young girls) do dress to attract to opposite sex or whatever sex they are into if they are single. But speaking for myself, I like to dress nicely to make myself feel good. Yes it's a plus when you go out and you can see men looking at you, but mostly for me, it makes me feel good about myself. I used to have a very low self esteem and for someone to turn around and say, wow, you look fantastic, is a big thing for me. So I guess it depends on your age/status as to the reasons you get glammed up

Haley:)




Yes, Julie. I think when I dress, it's actually to attract ME more than anything else. I see an attractive woman, and I envy the fact that she gets to physically look like that. I want to look like that. Why? It's not so that I can attract men. It's just that I enjoy looking pretty. Nothing to do with attracting men.

[erica12b]

on line i tell girls im strait and like to dress they think im lying , i like the comidy line no im a lez traped in a mans body, but thats not true eather ,
im just a guy that likes dresses, and girls,:thumbsup:

[Kimberly]

Well, whenever I've come out to someone, they have never asked any of those questions!! Maybe it's the people I've asked, but they either ask "How long have you done it?" or they actually ask, "Why do you do it?" and more often than not its "In whose clothes?"...

Then I usually reply, with some pride, "My own!"