finding time

[Lulie GG]

This is aimed at cders with accepting wife and kids.

I am trying to put my head around things and this is a thought I have had.

My hubby and I run our own business, he work into some evenings and Saturdays. We have two kids aged 11 and 14. As a couple we rarely have time to ourselves. So if I can come to accept his cross dressing where would we fit it in together. On the rare times we find we are alone in the house its romance time (I will let that to your imagination).

Before I found out my SO used to dress at our office in the evenings and 'worked late' getting home at midnight. OK he could go back to this but that wouldn't include me if I wanted to and then he would hardly see the kids or me for that matter.

How in that case do any of you find time to dress.


Lulie

[LindaMarie]

Lulie,

What a great question.

For me, finding time to dress is very difficult. We have 3 kids, 2 of whom have pretty significant disabilities. Add to that all the other stuff that we need to get done and there's not much time left. I know in the past I've been a little selfish when it comes to dressing but I've tried to be better about that.

I've noticed that many online crossdressers are either a) young and / or unmarried b) a bit older (40s and 50s) who may have a little more discretionary time.

Also, there are those who just don't need much sleep :) - you know who you are

It's a great thread.

I'm also interested in hearing how people respond. I'm especially interested in responses from SOs and wives.

All the best.

Linda

[Shelly Preston]

Lulie,

Take things one stage at a time,
Your in the right place for some good advice.

You said "if you accept his crossdressring" .
This is something which will require a lot of communication between you and your partner. The Genetic Girls Section may be more helpful for you in understanding the needs of your partner.
Also you have to decide if and when you are going to tell the kids

The time factor is not an easy problem to solve, but I believe if would be worth finding the time. e.g. not staying late at the office.
You could then have the best of both worlds
A husband and a girlfriend all in one ( besides how many wives can say their husbands dont mind being in a womens clothes shop )
It may not be easy at first but the rewards can be massive.

Good Luck

[Phoebe Reece]

Lulie, the obvious answer is to find a way to maximize the time your husband has at home with you for dressing or whatever. That really is going to require a hard choice about telling the kids about the crossdressing. My wife and I decided to make our kids aware of my crossdressing from the time they were babies. They were fine growing up with it and are now 29 and 25 years old.
I have known other CD couples that thought they had hidden the crossdressing from their kids (and worried about it for years) only to find out when they told them as adults that the kids had discovered and known about it for many years anyway. One couple I know would go out of town every month to attend CD support group meetings. When they finally told the kids what was going on they found out the kids had thought their parents were "swingers" going to wife swapping parties and were relieved to find out it was only crossdressing.
Every family situation is different, but I believe that if you have a close relationship with your kids, their knowing about their crossdressing father is not going to damage that relationship.

[DonnaT]

Lulie, I like that you are considering the idea of you and your husband being together when he dresses.


This is aimed at cders with accepting wife and kids.

Since my wife a son both accept what I am, then I can dress anytime I want at home. My daughter does not live at home.

Before telling my son, I would dress while he was out of the house; or in the bedroom, especially after the he had gone to bed. Of course it was a constant worry about him catching me dressed. And there wasn't a great deal of her sharing in my CDing.

Now that the kids know, my wife is much more relaxed, as am I, but the change in her has been something else, at least outwardly.

[Katie Ashe]

I think where it would fit in, is it would make you closer as a couple, you'ld have more to share and other than work things to talk about. Use it as a ground breaker to relaxation. If the kids are ok with it, don't stress. Have fun, go shopping, outings to a mall. If you don't have down time, and things other than work... life can get stressfull. Thanks for supporting us and your Hubby.

Not sure what else to say... :gh:

[Emily Ann Brown]

Let's assume you come to the point where you are fine with his dressing (and I really hope you do). My wife and I raised 4 children. We managed to have "us" time in the wee hours of the night and slept whenever we could fit it in, often one sleeping one watching. If you want to allow him dressing time you two will find a way for it to happen and for you to be a part of it. Just think outside the box...errr...closet.

My wife doesn't know........wish I were as far along as you two are.


Emily Ann

[Billijo49504]

Hi Lulie, In our case, all 3 girls are on their own. The baby is 21. But when my kids were the ages of yours, they used to have sleepovers. When it was at a friends home, the wife and I would get dressed up and she would give me lessons on doing my makeup. Or we would go to the mall and go shopping. We both like lingerie. And when I couldn't get dressed, because of one reason or the other, she would get a kick out of knowing I had a bra, panties and nylons under my mens clothes. Many a Sunday afternoon was spent shopping and then coming home and modeling the thing we bought for each other.
It sounds like you are well on your way to accepting his cd'ing. And I sure hope you do. Because as was said, you not only will have a husband, but also a best girlfriend. I wish you both the best and hope everything works for you.

[Lulie GG]

Thank you for your replies

Prehaps my first sentence was a little misleading

I meant accepting wife and the kids not knowing, at this time I do not want to tell the children maybe someday maybe never.

But everything is food for thought.

If I am to accept his dressing I would not want it to dominate our life together, we have such little him and me time as it is.

Lulie

[PaulaJeanette]

Lulie,

The simple but very big and important fact is YOU accept your husband's crossdressing and want to integrate it into your lives. With love and patience, I'm sure you will find ways. Like many of the other ladies in this forum have stated, we all find the time needed to indulge in our desires to crossdress. For some, it is a few short hours and, for others, it's more...but we all find THE time to become the feminine entities within our souls.

Where there is a will, there IS a way!

Hugs,

Paula J

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Lulie,

It's a tough situation being that pressed for time. Probably the best way to treat it is as if it's any other "hobby" either one of you might have that would take away from the limited time you two have together.

Your kids are old enough that maybe there's some after-school and/or weekend activities they can get involved in that would give you some additional time to yourselves. I'm not sure what kind of business you've got, but you could arrange a free afternoon when the kids are away, your husband could get ahead/catch up on business when you're sleeping, so you're not missing out on man-time.

Obviously, it's probably important to him, but it shouldn't be a cost to your relationship. Realistically, that probably means he (and you) will need to make time to do it -- but then again, sleep is greatly overrated anyway. :D

But seriously, if you both make time for this, then he should join you in making time for other activities that you enjoy, whether it's doing something together, or you going off to the spa for an afternoon. I know that requires even more time, but it's probably healthier and it sounds like you could use a little de-stressing yourself.