Discomfort When People Say I'm A Well-Built Male

[SarahMarie42]

Are any of you ever told that you have a strong build as a male? If so, does it ever cause you to worry about your crossdressing and curse the evil androgens that may or may not make you like that?

[Phoebe P.]

Enjoy it (wo)man! I've always been the tall, skinny guy even when I was heavy into lifting weights! It is what it is... God don't make no junk... etc...

It's good to be well built in one mode or the other! ;) Compliments are compliments! :)

[Simply_Vanessa]

Back in my denial days, I bodybuilded, ate like a bodybuilder, and even played tackle football for years. I thought if I became an example of a man, I would be happy as a man. LMAO! now i'm dieting like crazy and running like crazy to melt the muscle and fat away :P i'm a work in progress but I can definitely see change from just a month and a half ago. You can always change yourself if you want it bad enough :)

[SarahMarie42]

I meant of a bigger skeletal frame...I mean, I've lost a LOT of weight. A LOT. Like 40 pounds or more since last summer, but if I'm big it's not due to bodybuilding, lifting weights, anything like that. It's due to my genetics. I've never attempted to make myself bigger and more masculine. I've never wanted to be anything other than androgynous. I also have BDD, and I'm constantly comparing the width of my torso to real world objects. -.- I enjoy being male a lot of the time, but I were to use John Stuart Mill's system of pleasure rankings, being female would be the higher pleasure, for being male would be the one I'd rather relinquish. I like being able to be both, though. ANYTHING that tips the balance toward masculinity just pisses me off.

[sissystephanie]

I have had people tell me almost all my life that I was a well-built male!! They still do, even though I am in my late 70's! Of course, mny of my friends who have not known me a long time think that I am in my late 50's! That is fine by me!! The truth of the matter is that while my body is that of a well-built male, it also can become very easily a well-built female body. Except of course for the sex organs! I have a 40 B bust(Natural!), a 36" waist, and 42" hips! Size 16 fits me perfectly!! I am just me, and I like what I am

[Cynthia Anne]

Hey there beautiful girlfriend! I think they must be talkin' to that dude behind you! Dang HE'S UGLY! Hugs!

[Steph.TS]

I've been told I'm a clone of my dad, it depresses me to think that they might be right...

[SarahMarie42]

I've been told I'm a clone of my dad, it depresses me to think that they might be right...

I know, don't you f**king hate that? I'd so much rather have only received the physical attributes of all the females on my mother's side -sigh-

[VioletJourney]

My dad tells me I have a very "powerful" build. I don't know if that means strong, masculine, or just a nice way to say "fat". Doesn't matter to me though.

[SarahMarie42]

Btw, shouldn't you be on AIM? Haha

[MaryAnn40c]

Nope not at all. I dress and go out for me not for what others say.

[Steph.TS]

I know, don't you f**king hate that? I'd so much rather have only received the physical attributes of all the females on my mother's side -sigh-

the only way I've managed to keep my appearance different is grow a beard, but that isn't feminine, I shaved it off and then a co-worker told me I was aclone of my dad :(, now I'm growing out my hair (shoulder length if I can make it pass as something a man would have so I won't get harassed, I'm also looking into laser/electrolysis for my beard/body regardless of what my mom or others think.

I just worry how far I can push my fem-ness before people start wondering about me... :heehee:

[Duana]

I meant of a bigger skeletal frame...I mean, I've lost a LOT of weight. A LOT. Like 40 pounds or more since last summer, but if I'm big it's not due to bodybuilding, lifting weights, anything like that. It's due to my genetics.

I've never bought the "big boned" argument because I've never seen a skeleton that looked any bigger than any other ;) I realize there are mesomorphic body types and that does come from muscle mass and varying fat storage areas. I think the only way to achieve what you want is more weight loss via diet and aerobic activity. Don't do anything to encourage muscle growth where you don't want it.

I'm dealing with these things myself. I realized I have to lose a lot of weight to get the look I want also. I also realized I have a flat booty. At least I can pad that.

[Pythos]

My Dad was a good man, though not without issues, but I don't want to look like him. When I have my hair short and or grow a beard I look just like him. I want to look like me.

I had to get my hair cut, and when I got out of the shower I saw my dad's face looking back. I have his same jaw structure, which when framed by my hair is lessened to a degree.

I have always gotten this line though "Your build defies your strength". This was usually following my lifting some heavy piece of aircraft equipment, or hauling a twin across the ramp with the use of only the manual tow bar, and my legs. LOL.

I have grown to like my slight frame. I see these muscle bound people, lose the drive to work out, and lose the muscle which is quickly replaced with flab.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Yeah, I have lumpy arms and shoulders from years of weight training and it does make a difference when I CD. I always completely cover my uppper body with long sleeved top. It did worry me a lot, especially when I decided a couple of years ago to move beyond the front door. My response was to ditch 40 pounds (from 220 to 180lbs at 6 ft 1) and I certainly feel a lot better for it.

Tash :)

[SarahMarie42]

Such things do not matter I suppose. haha

[2SpeedTranny]

Nah... I'm slender built... but I like being strong.

I guess I don't follow your post, because I don't see a conflict between being a tranny, and being muscular. For the girls out there that like us, it's that juxtaposition of dresses, makeup, and a ripped body. :P

[SarahMarie42]

I'm not muscular, I'm just afraid of being bigger-boned, but I suppose my skeleton isn't all that large.

[2SpeedTranny]

I'm not muscular, I'm just afraid of being bigger-boned, but I suppose my skeleton isn't all that large.

Okay, yeah... but who cares?

For crying out loud, your build just doesn't matter. Why can't transvestites just try to be happy and pretty, instead of wallowing in a pit of self hatred because they aren't 5'3" and 36-24-36?

I'm built like no female on Earth, would never "pass" for ****, but I have fun and make friends nonetheless. People aren't going to dislike you because you're a tranny. People WILL dislike you if you don't like yourself. No one is going to think you're cool until you think you're cool first. Now, if your avatar pic is any indication, you're cute and funny, so quit whining, buck up, and go be... human.

[SarahMarie42]

I knowwww, I knowwww. I'm just unduly self-conscious x[ Besides, most of my non-virtual friends already know I'm a transvestite, and they love me and are very supportive (My GG friends and I like to go shopping, though I'm usually in drab. I'm going out with them en femme very soon, however, and I'm excited!). My best friend Aaron even said he'd accompany me during an outing (he's a big dude, so even if I don't pass; people won't mess with me, as he would presumably beat their asses xD).

[Kate Simmons]

Not really my friend. It just makes me a more rounded full spectrum person.:)

[SarahMarie42]

I'm actually not all that powerfully built, people just used to say that when I was overweight xD. I've dropped some significant poundage recently, and feel I'm looking quite good. Besides, I think we should all go public regardless of whether or not we think we can pass and work actively at undermining that horribly oppressive gender binary that no one fits into quite as neatly as they'd like to think. I don't care if you've got 5 o' clock shadow, a lantern jaw, 19" arms, and big, veiny workman's hands. GET OUT THERE! If people laugh, there's something wrong with THEM, not YOU!


Think of Bowie and his "Man-dress" that he wore on the cover of The Man Who Sold The World! BREAK BARRIERS

[noeleena]

Hi, Sarah.

Did you mean body image ,

This is a problem for many women , I hardly ever hear many men say any thing about this tho most are not in to body building & sprots ,

The women i know on our women only forums say quite a lot about this & self esteem selfworth or the lack of .
I can say body wise im very close as it is to women so body wise im cool with it.. face thats another matter . I just dont let it stop me doing what i do & meeting the many people i meet & some times it take s awhile to work through it or we dont go any where or do things out side the door.

The gender binary detail has no bearing on who i am ether way . I just refuse to subcribe to that ,

The other thing is some women are built like the you know the .. little brick.. house & stronger & thats okay,

...noeleena...

[Alisa]

It's good to be well built in one mode or the other! ;) Compliments are compliments! :)

Could not agree more... Well said... Phoebe

[Tina B.]

Sarah, I've been told I'm the spitting image of my father, but since I have always looked up to him, I don't really mind, because I day I was looking in the mirror, all make up, when I noticed the woman in the mirror looked a lot like a picture of my mother, back when she was my age. Seems in my male mode, I look like dad, because people see that part of me, and expect to match it to him, but under make up and wig, the parts of me that come from mom get a chance to be seen, because I have reduced the male images and let the rest shine through. I too am losing weight, and trying to get a better feeling about how I look, but you have to stop looking for perfection, it just is not out there, if you listen to some of the most beautiful women around, such as actresses, and things, they all have things they don't like, and the hide, or disguise. How can a guy trying to emulate that find perfection, when even the prettiest of women can not be totally satisfied with her own looks. You are no different than them, you can strive to make it look like you have found perfection, padding, binding and make up and wigs, clothes that look right for you body type, what ever that might be, and hope for the best, thats what women do, that's what Crossdressers do, and that's all you can do. Just be the best you can be, and try to accept thats who you are, I think it makes life a lot easier.
Tina B.

[suchacutie]

Well, we are what we are, within the limits that dieting and selective exercise can get us. When I first put on women's clothes my wife made it clear that I would always be considered a "larger" women in that my shoulders are broad and I do have powerful arms. In the next breath she made it clear that there are many woman who, although a bit shorter, have my "inverted triangle" build, and that the important thing was to dress accordingly. That means no "boat" necklines, nothing to accentuate my shoulders, no thight sleeves, V-neck or turtle-neck tops, necklaces that were long to catch the eye on the verticle, and then there was always cleavage to take away the attention from the shoulders.

I've since lost 35 pounds and with a waist cincher am a passable 42-32-38. I've got a way to go, but so does virtually every GG and CDer in the world :)

It makes me smile to have people tell me I have such great male shoulders! It keeps the gender separation neat and tidy, and we do separate our genders as completely as possible!

[insearchofme]

I'm big, 6'2" 225 lbs and I do have a powerful build. I strength train and ride the bike. I like being big and strong. On my 62nd birthday last month I benched 290 lbs. I also like being femme and girly. I know I probably will never pass but I don't care. I love both sides of myself and wouldn't trade one for the other. I bet a lot of CDs are like me in that we revel in both sides of ourselves.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sarah, At 5'11.5" 220# with the right padding I make it work for me not against me.

Orchid