Would this approach work for...

[dack]

So I had originally tried to find help from a genetic girl for crossdressing, posting on craigslist asking if anyone would be willing to help me and asking some people I met off social sites for help.

I did succeed in getting offers for help, but the problem I ran into was car issues. Most people I contacted lived a bit away. I finally brought a car, but then I wrecked it, bringing my own driving skills into question. I've kind of hesitated on what new car to buy since then, but distance seems to have been a limiting factor.

So I was thinking another approach might be to post an ad on Craigslist or some other site offering to pay for help with crossdressing. This would probably get responses faster, would allow me to request they handle driving (I could compensate them for gas mileage), and I could also request a schedule for help. I'd want to try to request they still be friends, though.

Personally, I don't feel comfortable getting help from another crossdresser and would be more comfortable getting help from a genetic girl. I'd hesitate to say in the ad that it had to be a girl for fear of being accused of being discriminatory. Obviously there are the usual safety concerns associated with meeting people regardless, which usually are offset by moving slow in communicating, meeting multiple times in public places, and getting to know people.

Would this approach sound logical? What would the best subsection under craigslist be to post under?

[Rogina B]

STRICTLY PLATONIC would be a start.IMO from CL user.

[Steph.TS]

depending how far away the local shopping center is, get a taxi, and shop by yourself, I know it's nerve racking, I'm still terrified when I go into shop for myself. but I talk myself through it, and everytime I go into buy for myself I do it. I don't trust craigslist or any other site like that myself. don't risk your life with some one you don't know, because your afraid people will know your secret.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dack, I think you are heading for trouble that don't sound like the way to go.

Orchid

[dack]

I've tried clothes on in stores before. One problem with that is that you can only try on what they have available - it's generally not the place to learn how to mix makeup, clothing, hair, etc all together. Besides that, if you go to a store repeatedly, it eventually gets awkward no matter which store you go to.

The "ideal" solution would be to meet a large pool of liberally minded people as friends, and from those friends eventually mention my crossdressing habit and my lack of skill conversationally. Unfortunately, I also have a scalp condition to where it can be hard to socialize at the moment. I'd been trying to grow my hair out, and thus it doesn't work well with the condition. I'm seeing a doctor, but it's a stubborn condition.

Honestly, I don't like just crossdressing by myself in my apartment, though there seems to be little other recourse at the moment.

[Cynthia Anne]

BAD IDEA! GO shopping for your own clothes at a friendly place! Go to a beauty salon or beauty supply store to learn about makeup! What you have in mind is going to get you hurt or robbed or both!

[Stephenie S]

I've tried clothes on in stores before. One problem with that is that you can only try on what they have available - it's generally not the place to learn how to mix makeup, clothing, hair, etc all together. Besides that, if you go to a store repeatedly, it eventually gets awkward no matter which store you go to.

The "ideal" solution would be to meet a large pool of liberally minded people as friends, and from those friends eventually mention my crossdressing habit and my lack of skill conversationally. Unfortunately, I also have a scalp condition to where it can be hard to socialize at the moment. I'd been trying to grow my hair out, and thus it doesn't work well with the condition. I'm seeing a doctor, but it's a stubborn condition.

No, dear. Shopping doesn't get more difficult and awkward the more you do it. It gets easiler. Eventually you get to the point where the SA know you. Then it gets to be fun. It's FUN to shop. Really. That's why we do it so much.

Keep your eyes open when you shop. Stores often set out whole outfits on display. You will see a top and bottom along with jewelry and shoes on a manikin. Do you like what you see? That's the idea. That's why the stores do this. Look in shop windows. Look in catalogs. When you DO shop, shop for an entire outfit. If you see an outfit in a catalog that you like, buy it.

A large pool of liberal thinking friends who will eventually bring up your desire to dress and your lack of skill as a conversation is a fantasy. If you wait for this to happen you will wait a LONG time. Be proactive, hon. Do for yourself. That's the way the whole rest of the world does it. You can too.

I have no advice for your scalp condition as you are far to vague about it. See your doctor.

Stephie

[midnighter03]

I have tried asking for help on CL but it didn't work....

[StaceyJane]

I've tried clothes on in stores before. One problem with that is that you can only try on what they have available - it's generally not the place to learn how to mix makeup, clothing, hair, etc all together. Besides that, if you go to a store repeatedly, it eventually gets awkward no matter which store you go to.

The "ideal" solution would be to meet a large pool of liberally minded people as friends, and from those friends eventually mention my crossdressing habit and my lack of skill conversationally.

Two bad ideas won't make a good idea. One of the best places to learn how to dress is to find a store where you feel comfortable. I don't know where you live but a lot of crossdressers like Dress Barn. They are very TG friendly.
Also makeup help can be found at a cosmetics store or at the cosmetics counter in a mall. You will be surprised how helpful they can be and unless they are new to the job they have probably helped a CD before.

Your idea about meeting a large bunch of liberal friends just won't work. The idea of liberal and conservative doesn't work in this context.

Really the best idea would be to find a local CD group such as Tri-Ess. They can be very helpful in giving you advice and taking you to safe places to shop.
If you like you can even ask for help from memebers of this forum in your area. You might be surprised to find TG people living nearby.

[Billijo49504]

I agree, the more you shop, the easier it gets. And the SA at your favorite stores will get to know your style and let you know when something comes in, that they figure you'd like. My 2 favorite stores are Lane Bryant and Dot's. I get treated very well at those stores. Granted it nice to have someone to hold your hand, but if you don't, hold your own hand and shop till you drop. Most SA's want to make a sale. So they don't care who you're shopping for, just that you are shopping and spending.....BJ

[dack]

Two bad ideas won't make a good idea. One of the best places to learn how to dress is to find a store where you feel comfortable. I don't know where you live but a lot of crossdressers like Dress Barn. They are very TG friendly.
Also makeup help can be found at a cosmetics store or at the cosmetics counter in a mall. You will be surprised how helpful they can be and unless they are new to the job they have probably helped a CD before.

Your idea about meeting a large bunch of liberal friends just won't work. The idea of liberal and conservative doesn't work in this context.

Really the best idea would be to find a local CD group such as Tri-Ess. They can be very helpful in giving you advice and taking you to safe places to shop.
If you like you can even ask for help from memebers of this forum in your area. You might be surprised to find TG people living nearby.

What is the best way to find forum members in my area, if I were to pursue this approach? Is there a search function on the site?

As far as meeting a large group of liberal friends, I just meant that if you are friends with a person over a period of time and then, in passing, mention crossdressing and lack of skill, there is some chance they would offer to help. Usually the people least likely to do this are traditionalist Christians (this is what I meant by conservative) and people who are married (there's always the chance their spouse would interpret it the wrong way) Yes, it's a "shot in the dark", but I've heard of people offering to help.

[kimdl93]

Got a web cam? If so, why not meet up on-line, which would probably be free and considerably safer than RL encounters with strangers.

[BRANDYJ]

For starters, you could fill in your profile page! No city or state shown, no age shown and no picture fo an avatar. How is anyone near you ever gonna find out if you come close to being compatable with age or disatance from you? Most people will not resond to someone that is that hidden.

[StaceyJane]

What is the best way to find forum members in my area, if I were to pursue this approach? Is there a search function on the site?

As far as meeting a large group of liberal friends, I just meant that if you are friends with a person over a period of time and then, in passing, mention crossdressing and lack of skill, there is some chance they would offer to help. Usually the people least likely to do this are traditionalist Christians (this is what I meant by conservative) and people who are married (there's always the chance their spouse would interpret it the wrong way) Yes, it's a "shot in the dark", but I've heard of people offering to help.

If you look towards the bottom of the list of different sections to the forum you will find one titled Meeting Place.
There you can say where you are from and that would you like to hear from membersin your area. Most people are surprised to find people close by.

[Stephenie S]

What is the best way to find forum members in my area, if I were to pursue this approach? Is there a search function on the site?

As far as meeting a large group of liberal friends, I just meant that if you are friends with a person over a period of time and then, in passing, mention crossdressing and lack of skill, there is some chance they would offer to help. Usually the people least likely to do this are traditionalist Christians (this is what I meant by conservative) and people who are married (there's always the chance their spouse would interpret it the wrong way) Yes, it's a "shot in the dark", but I've heard of people offering to help.QUOTE=dack;2457908]

No sweetie, this is still a fantasy.

Imagine, if you will, such a conversation. "Oh, you know I like to crossdress but I'm SO bad at it. I wish I could find someone to help."

Oh, I'll help you. I crossdress all the time and I'm real good at it."

I mean, come ON. It just ain't gonna happen. How many times have you heard that conversation in real life? NONE. Not once. And you won't either. Ever.

Now, if you want to meet others in your area you have to tell others where you are. Maybe you live just down the street from me. Maybe not. But I don't know because you don't say where you are.

Just a general idea, hon. I have met several others on this forum exactly that way. You have to reach out a bit if you want to meet others.

Shopping? Find a store that sells clothes that you like. NOT ****ty 17 year old's clothes. Leave the fantasy of being 17 years old and sexy to die by the wayside. I mean regular women's clothes that you would like. Then go in when they are not too busy. Introduce yourself and tell them what you want.

"Hi, my name is Sally. I am a crossdresser with very little experience. I would like your help in putting together an outfit."

That's all, dear. Wasn't that easy? They will help you. That's what they do for a living. They want your money. If there is any hint of distaste or reluctance just turn around and leave. There are LOTS of stores selling women's clothing. LOTS! Go find another one if they make you feel at all uncomfortable. But they won't dear. SA like to help people. They want you to buy their clothes. Sometimes their very livelyhood depends on it. Trust me on this. I know what I am talking about.

Personally, I would think that smaller more indedendant women's clothing stores or small chains would be a better bet that large departmnet stores. Dress Barn has a good reputation for helping CD/TG folk. Victoria's Secret has a corporate policy of CD/TG aceptance. Fashion Bug is another CD/TG helpfull place with larger sizes, which is a big plus (pun unintended).

This is not rocket science. Every woman who buys clothes and dresses herself has to learn how. You do too. But it ain't hard. Your fantasy of having someone else do it for you is just that. A fantasy. Dressing someone else is WORK. That's why your mother doesn't still do it for you.

Now if you are really into being dressed by another person you can find a service that WILL do it for you. But remember? It's work. It will cost you several hundred dollars (at a minimum) for this sort of service. I have a friend who charges $500 for this. It's not worth it. Learn to do it yourself.

Makeup? Go to any cosmetic store and say the same thing you did in the clothing store. Tell them you need some help. They will help you. Don't forget to BUY something, though.

S